Interesting stats on how people meet in the US

[jamesbond]

I recently read an article that stated 63% of people in America meet through friends or family members. Only 3% meet in public like a bookstore, grocery store, park, cafe, library or health club! Another 3% meet through the internet and the rest meet at school or work. The reason why only 3% meet in public places is because it's taboo to talk to strangers in America, that's why so many people have to rely on their friends or family members to introduce them to people!

[Enishi]

Since I tend to be shy and uncomfortable when it comes to approaching people in public, there are precious few avenues I can take to really meet people. My family and friends don't really know anyone at the moment, the girls at work are either all taken or not really interested, and I never liked the idea of going to clubs. At this moment the only real option is meeting people online.

[Winston]

Since I tend to be shy and uncomfortable when it comes to approaching people in public, there are precious few avenues I can take to really meet people. My family and friends don't really know anyone at the moment, the girls at work are either all taken or not really interested, and I never liked the idea of going to clubs. At this moment the only real option is meeting people online.

W: Or abroad. I used to be shy and afraid to approach strangers in public too, when I never left the US. Most guys are. And that's because it's taboo to in the US. But once you're outside the USA matrix where it's ok and flirting is not a crime, you yourself change and open up more. That's what I find.

I'm at a hotel right now using my laptop on their wi fi. Every time the waitress comes, I compliment her on how great she looks, flattering her and kissing her hand too, which she giggles at and enjoys, saying "You ah!" playfully. You see, I can get away with that here cause men who adore women aren't a bad thing here. And plus, Filipinas here in the Philippines are EXTREMELY playful when it comes to flirting, even when they're on the job (not at a bar). That's what I love about them.

For many examples on how I approached women in public, see my Russia photojournals: http://www.happierabroad.com/Photojournals.htm

[Enishi]

I've never been able to fathom why it is that women in America are so anal and uptight when it comes to men looking at or flirting with them, unless of course the male is super rich or an exciting bad boy.

Personally, I like it when women look at me or make appraising comments. Even if they're incredibly obese and I dont feel the least bit attracted to them, I consider their attention a compliment. I can understand if a girl doesn't want a man to stare continously or make vulgar comments, but sheesh, when did having male desires become such a crime?

I wonder if much of this is due to ingrained habits passed down by the Puritans in New England, viewing natural desires as sinful, as well as viewing women as utterly chaste creatures incapable of naughty, carnal thoughts.

[Winston]

I've never been able to fathom why it is that women in America are so anal and uptight when it comes to men looking at or flirting with them, unless of course the male is super rich or an exciting bad boy.

Personally, I like it when women look at me or make appraising comments. Even if they're incredibly obese and I dont feel the least bit attracted to them, I consider their attention a compliment. I can understand if a girl doesn't want a man to stare continously or make vulgar comments, but sheesh, when did having male desires become such a crime?

I wonder if much of this is due to ingrained habits passed down by the Puritans in New England, viewing natural desires as sinful, as well as viewing women as utterly chaste creatures incapable of naughty, carnal thoughts.

W: Or maybe it's genetics, as this seems more common with Anglo Saxons? Come here to the Philippines and I'll show you a whole different universe of how women are!

Three guys from the list are already here and have experienced it all and are now scared to death of going back to the US!

[gmm567]

I think they're uptight about it cause of their expecations of who they should have. IF you can display the persona of status, like the players, they're more than happy to have you look at them.

Or if you're a thug. That works too.

Otherwise , you're a loser.

[jamesbond]

I think they're uptight about it cause of their expecations of who they should have. IF you can display the persona of status, like the players, they're more than happy to have you look at them.

Or if you're a thug. That works too.

Otherwise , you're a loser.

Sad but true, with American women you HAVE to have high status for them to even give you a chance! It was not always that way though look at how women behaved in the 50's you did not have to be a player to get them or a jock, you could just be yourself! Things certainly have changed!

[Sholan]

W: Or abroad. I used to be shy and afraid to approach strangers in public too, when I never left the US. Most guys are. And that's because it's taboo to in the US. But once you're outside the USA matrix where it's ok and flirting is not a crime, you yourself change and open up more. That's what I find.

I'm at a hotel right now using my laptop on their wi fi. Every time the waitress comes, I compliment her on how great she looks, flattering her and kissing her hand too, which she giggles at and enjoys, saying "You ah!" playfully. You see, I can get away with that here cause men who adore women aren't a bad thing here. And plus, Filipinas here in the Philippines are EXTREMELY playful when it comes to flirting, even when they're on the job (not at a bar). That's what I love about them.

Man, that sounds dreamy...When a girl will actually accept your compliment and appreciate it instead of most of time take it awkwardly and treat you like a creep afterwards.

[Mitsumansion]

I would have to agree upon this forum, reasons for the awkwardness vibe in public meetings amongst women is that having aquintances relies only in your own group and cannot violate another's territory or individual because it is not in the contrary. This is coming from a Westernize point of view. Meaning that you got your friends, you have no right trying to business with others (Well, it is right and good, but in a cliquish perspective). The term "You'll have your friends and I'll have my friends" is widely spread amongst young people that are going throw adolescence and adulthood all the time. So of course most people pare-up from mutual friends, school, and online, hardly in the public.

Now this brings me to my next topic, try going out for a walk in the middle of a semi-crowded place in your area like say the mall or a plaza, and do this: Try nodding your head or simpy say "Hi, how are you?" to as many people as possible, and see how many reactions you get. I myself have an extremee habit of doing that whenever I encounter many people walking the opposite direction, it would seem awkward walking by without saying hi, that is how I feel. So, from my point, I get the best reactions from men, they respond back, they act like we know each other, and they seem more open to reach out. Older women have that same touch some may not smile nor look back at you, they just simply reply what you say. Some older women are VERY warm to you that touches your heart. But with young women, omg, and you'd expect worse, whenever you encounter one, they get COLD AS EVER!! They would ignore your existance, won't look back, mind their business, and pretend that you aren't there.

So there, that experiment might work for some people, but the majority it won't. Even those 'confident' guys hardly reach women in the streets, and there they are "Yeah, that girl is hot" but stands at the side watching her do her thing. They either go to clubs or have had friends from school days. So, it is less likely to meet in public; and it sometimes hurts. It's totally an alienation atmosphere that separates people apart from one another.

[jamesbond]

I would have to agree upon this forum, reasons for the awkwardness vibe in public meetings amongst women is that having aquintances relies only in your own group and cannot violate another's territory or individual because it is not in the contrary. This is coming from a Westernize point of view. Meaning that you got your friends, you have no right trying to business with others (Well, it is right and good, but in a cliquish perspective). The term "You'll have your friends and I'll have my friends" is widely spread amongst young people that are going throw adolescence and adulthood all the time. So of course most people pare-up from mutual friends, school, and online, hardly in the public.

Now this brings me to my next topic, try going out for a walk in the middle of a semi-crowded place in your area like say the mall or a plaza, and do this: Try nodding your head or simpy say "Hi, how are you?" to as many people as possible, and see how many reactions you get. I myself have an extremee habit of doing that whenever I encounter many people walking the opposite direction, it would seem awkward walking by without saying hi, that is how I feel. So, from my point, I get the best reactions from men, they respond back, they act like we know each other, and they seem more open to reach out. Older women have that same touch some may not smile nor look back at you, they just simply reply what you say. Some older women are VERY warm to you that touches your heart. But with young women, omg, and you'd expect worse, whenever you encounter one, they get COLD AS EVER!! They would ignore your existance, won't look back, mind their business, and pretend that you aren't there.

So there, that experiment might work for some people, but the majority it won't. Even those 'confident' guys hardly reach women in the streets, and there they are "Yeah, that girl is hot" but stands at the side watching her do her thing. They either go to clubs or have had friends from school days. So, it is less likely to meet in public; and it sometimes hurts. It's totally an alienation atmosphere that separates people apart from one another.

I agree completely! Winston said before he went overseas he did everything he could to meet women in the US. He approached hundreds of women in public and they would either ignore him or get a paranoid look on their faces as he was talking to them (like he was violating an unwritten rule that we don't talk to strangers in America). He finally went overseas to meet women and there he found the social atmosphere far more socialable and inclusive. In America we don't strangers, in America we don't even talk to our neighbors!

[momopi]

I have a buddy who is the stereotype "golden boy". He is 6'2", tall, blond, blue eyes, north EU stock, and not fat or bald. He owns his own company and house + multiple properties. He's not "model quality" but is fairly decent looking for a white male.

He complained to me that, while washing his truck in front of his own house, 2 girls from the neighborhood was walking by, and they actually cross the street to the other side to avoid having to greet him or respond to his greetings.

And that's in Huntington Beach, California, not Seattle.

So, yeah, we have a problem with anti-social behavior here, because people tend to be on guard with strangers. It takes some effort to make yourself less threatening to a (young) women's mind here.

I did some experimenting with talking to strangers while waiting at the line in grocery stores and at the malls. I wasn't trying to get a date or anything, just went up to girls and talked to them. My findings are based on personal experience in Orange County and may not necessarily apply to you or your specific location. Remember to smile, joke lightly, and be a fun person.

Clothing: I've found that the responses are better if I'm wearing sweater + jacket + jeans tye clothing from Hollister, A&F, or Gap (it's winter and cold here). Looking "fashionably casual" produced far better results than "formal" with nice dress shirt + dockers/slacks, or Banana Republic/Club Monaco clothing.

Cologne: Inconclusive. But if you decide to use it, spray in front of you and walk into it, not directly on yourself. The cologne from A&F smells nice (to me), versus the stuff they sell at Banana Republic is... eewww.

Accessories: I asked several women and they told me that wearing those "fashionable" necklaces or whatever they call them these days, make men look gay. I bought an Apple iPhone and it's a nice bling bling that turns into a conversation piece with some girls.

Supermarkets: On chatting up people while waiting in line at your local grocery store, most regular supermarkets yielded poor results. But the "yuppie" ones such as Whole Foods Mart at Tustin Legacy was better. I was able to chat up some customers and had moderate success with a cashier. I bought some hot foods that day and was going to eat them at their dining area to the side. After chatting up the cashier for a bit during check-out, she actually came over and brought me some napkins. We chatted for a few min before she had to return to her station. She responded very positively to compliments (smiles, playing with hair, etc).

Malls: Indoor malls > Outdoor malls. I don't have a scientific/logical reason since technically all stores are indoors, but South Coast Plaza in Costa Mesa was a lot better than Spectrum or Newport Fashion Island.

Larger department stores, like Macy's and Bloomingdales yielded poor results. Sears was... dead. The girls that work at Macy's are more approachable than the ones working at Bloomingdales. Far easier to chat up a Macy's girl and have her play shopper's assistant for you.

Smaller clothing stores yielded better results. I had more positive experience chatting up (female) customers and employees in stores like Express and Gap -- actually had a Vietnamese girl (customer) who was quite forward at Express for men. Customers at A&F/Hollister were easy to chat up but not the employees. "Alternative" style clothing stores like Hot Topic was poor. Non-clothing stores like Pottery Barn was also good. And no I didn't bother trying at Victoria's Secret. ;p That would be like writing "perverted" on your forehead.

The down-side with malls... usually the girls are with a BF. Sometimes you'd be chatting up with a girl, 10 min later the BF shows up, or you find that he's been waiting in line at the cashier's, while she's off browsing some more. LoL.

[Erasmus]

This is the thing though. If you tell anyone you know that you are going to do XYZ (say fly to a foreign country where the women are less uptight) to meet women, get laid, or find a bride, the first thing they'll ask is why can't you do that here?

Well logically if a city has 4-6 million women, there have to be a few women who are open, right? But after you have hit on 100 women who have been receptive who later flaked on you, or after you've realized that you cant talk to strangers cause they're afraid you might be a psycho serial killer rapist, why would you continue to fight an uphill battle?

If you want to find a diamond, you go to the diamond mine. Go where the gems are more plentiful. Who cares if there are gems sprinkled throughout in the USA. I want to go to the LAND OF GEMS where the vast majority of women are gems, not where POSSIBLY one in 1000 women are gems.



And besides all that, in all my years and travels on this Earth, the women who speak English (native English speakers and Americanized women) are the most psychotic you could meet. They are virtually all unfit for long term relationships.

[Grunt]

I just got done explaining something to a high school buddy of mine. He got ripped to shreds in divorce court by a skank that cheated on him...with his "friends". THEN he got a false rape charge dropped in his lap after a drunken party with other "friends". Hes almost 40 and all he has to show for it is a messy divorce, a bankruptcy, $25,000 worth of legal bills, and 5 years probation.

The point is, NEVER consider ANYTHING that happens in America to be "normal". When you inquire or consider the actions of American society and/or females you must first understand you are examining the social equivalent of a metastasizing cancerous ulcer. The only way to "understand" any form of insanity, including feminism, is to be insane yourself.

Therefore we should make no effort to comprehend American females, we should just point and laugh. Then marry foreign girls.

[HardCoreMaddog]

I would have to agree upon this forum, reasons for the awkwardness vibe in public meetings amongst women is that having aquintances relies only in your own group and cannot violate another's territory or individual because it is not in the contrary. This is coming from a Westernize point of view. Meaning that you got your friends, you have no right trying to business with others (Well, it is right and good, but in a cliquish perspective). The term "You'll have your friends and I'll have my friends" is widely spread amongst young people that are going throw adolescence and adulthood all the time. So of course most people pare-up from mutual friends, school, and online, hardly in the public.

Now this brings me to my next topic, try going out for a walk in the middle of a semi-crowded place in your area like say the mall or a plaza, and do this: Try nodding your head or simpy say "Hi, how are you?" to as many people as possible, and see how many reactions you get. I myself have an extremee habit of doing that whenever I encounter many people walking the opposite direction, it would seem awkward walking by without saying hi, that is how I feel. So, from my point, I get the best reactions from men, they respond back, they act like we know each other, and they seem more open to reach out. Older women have that same touch some may not smile nor look back at you, they just simply reply what you say. Some older women are VERY warm to you that touches your heart. But with young women, omg, and you'd expect worse, whenever you encounter one, they get COLD AS EVER!! They would ignore your existance, won't look back, mind their business, and pretend that you aren't there.

So there, that experiment might work for some people, but the majority it won't. Even those 'confident' guys hardly reach women in the streets, and there they are "Yeah, that girl is hot" but stands at the side watching her do her thing. They either go to clubs or have had friends from school days. So, it is less likely to meet in public; and it sometimes hurts. It's totally an alienation atmosphere that separates people apart from one another.

I agree completely! Winston said before he went overseas he did everything he could to meet women in the US. He approached hundreds of women in public and they would either ignore him or get a paranoid look on their faces as he was talking to them (like he was violating an unwritten rule that we don't talk to strangers in America). He finally went overseas to meet women and there he found the social atmosphere far more socialable and inclusive. In America we don't strangers, in America we don't even talk to our neighbors!

That's so true... one has to either have financial high status in order to meet woman in America and most of them would suffer from high mental hysteria and would play game bullshit and all that and plus it's sad that most Americans don't even know their own neighborhood... even in my neighborhood.. I lived there for seven years and yet the neighbors don't know me and I don't know them which I could care less. Here in this stinking country, the only great thing is earning money.

[gmm567]

I doubly stand by my comments, and I am in full agreement with grunt.

Who the f**k is this guy?


And Winston too. I love you guys.