Adama wrote: Certain men insist on finding women with an IQ between 115 and 130. That doesnt sound sexy at all to me. I dont think college education means much anyway, except that there are some useless non-facts floating around in her head which someone had to pay for her to be brainwashed with.I needed an attractive wife whose company I enjoy, who respects me, who will sleep with me and cook my dinner.
Does she do what you ask? Is she pretty? Do you trust her not to cheat? Is she cooperative (as opposed to argumentative)? Can she have children? These are the major things you need to concern yourself with.
I agree with a lot of what you are saying here. Being easy to get along with (not argumentative, obedient at least to some degree) is worth a whole lot more than a bachelors. And a person can be intelligent, creative, and hard working without a degree. Some degrees teach worthless facts or even harmful indoctrination. I'd rather have married a woman with a middle school education than a woman with a Masters in Women's Studies. That's a degree that can indoctrinate a woman with some bad brainwashing that can make her a bad wife. If I were young and dating, and a woman seriously mentioned 'the patriarchy' as a source of women's problems, that's a deal-breaker right there.
I also think it's more important to have practical wisdom than a degree. Someone can be wise and show it by listening to other people's advice, learning from their own mistakes, learning for other people's mistakes, and being diligent about learning things. Education and skill in certain areas can also be helpful. For example, a small business owner marrying an accountant may make sense. Her skills can be useful.
Women also need to be meek. They need to follow the man's lead. But it's also good if the woman can see a man's blind spots and point them out, but in a respectful way, the way one does to someone in a leadership role over them. As far as cultures go, a culture with power distance where men are on top is a good atmosphere, IMO, for a wife. At least she sees that it is natural for a man to be in charge. If she seems him as a leader and has an ethic of being respectful to those in authority, that may help keep her from being one of those wives who is scold, who gives her husband a verbal lashing. I also think lack of respect is one of the things that keeps a woman from having sex with her husband. If, even from an ideological perspective, she knows to keep her emotions in check and respect her husband, that helps keep the sex life in line.
Some guys go for 'fiesty' chicks. I even here men say they like 'strong and independent women' these days I'm like, "huh? why?" I don't get that at all. Independent? Why marry someone who is independent. If she's independent, let her be single. I can understand liking personality, and a little spunk may be okay if she keeps it under control or if the man just laughs it off and she realizes she can't manipulate him with her emotions. But a lot of men allow themselves to be battered around emotionally by a woman's emotions these days. They don't understand their leadership role. Then the woman loses respect because he isn't acting like a man should when she crosses the line. She gets more power in the relationship, but then loses respect for him because he lets her.
IMO, it's better not to choose a spouse who plays the power struggle game. Just find one whose meek and submissive. She has to at least realize it is her role as a woman to submit to her husband even if she's got a spunky personality. I think it's best if a woman has a somewhat accommodating personality to begin with so she doesn't get bent out of shape, but men go for all personality types. Marrying a woman who can keep cool when she doesn't like something, and defer to a man when it isn't what she wants may be less likely to be quarrelsome after marriage. If she is young and at home and shows a lot of deference and respect to her father, that is a good sign. After marriage, she can transfer that attitude toward her husband.