The 3 to 5 Date SEX Rule: Do you agree with it?

[HouseMD]

Yeah and I would also add that if the average guy could get laid by a desirable woman at least once a month, or easily, as some guys claimed, then most men would not get married. They would play the field and get all the sex they need from women. Once a month is plenty. Many guys are getting zero sex for years in the US. Many men get married so they can have a stable sex partner and no more years of dry spells.

Once a month? Yeah, no. I'd be cheating if that were the case and I was in a normal relationship. Any man who stays with a woman and is faithful to her when they are getting that little sex is a ****ing idiot.

[MrMan]

MrMan, why you want a virgin? If you are a good lover, your girl will find you special compared to all the losers she's already been with. You should be bringing home bacon in the kitchen and in the bedroom.

I don't care about the good lover part. I do fine in that department, and I'm sure I've gotten better over time. I'd estimate my wife has gotten release about 99.9952% of the time. I could probably count the times she hasn't out of all our interactions on two hands, with maybe one or two of those being after the first month of marriage. If we counted it another way, I could say I'm batting somewhere between 2000 and 5000 in that regard. Marrying a virgin to me isn't about the wife thinking I'm a good lover. I don't see that as the big risk. I'd imagine the vast majority of women who cheat do so for reasons other than technical skill in the bedroom.

My way of thinking about this is intertwined with my religious beliefs. I didn't want a woman who was bound as 'one flesh' to another man. That was my main reason for wanting a virgin. Theoretically, widows would have been okay if they were faithful during marriage and chaste before and after. But that wasn't what I wanted in my 20's.

The idea of boldly going 'where no man is gone before' is a lot more appealing to me than going where other men have gone before. If I buy a toothbrush, I want a new one, not one that has been in contact with the fluids in another man's mouth, with deposits and gunk from the teeth all over the bristles.

Psychologically, though, there are a lot of benefits to marrying a virgin. A 1990 study showed that women who'd only been with their husbands had a much lower rate of 'marital disruption.' It's got to be a lot bigger deal to a woman whose only had sex with one man to commit adultery than a woman who was used to rotating through sex partners prior to marriage.

[MrMan]

Yeah and I would also add that if the average guy could get laid by a desirable woman at least once a month, or easily, as some guys claimed, then most men would not get married. They would play the field and get all the sex they need from women. Once a month is plenty. Many guys are getting zero sex for years in the US. Many men get married so they can have a stable sex partner and no more years of dry spells.

Once a month? Once a month? In marriage, isn't that the cut-off line for what they call a 'sex-less marriage'? I think single guys should get no sex, and only get sex when they are married. But in marriage, once a month may be reasonable for a man if he is 95 years old. I'm just sayin'. Three times a week feels like a dry spell to me. Period week is rougher.

I can get why some men want a large number of varied sex partners. It's against my religious and moral beliefs, but I can understand the lusts for such things. What I don't get is why men would think, from a physical and emotional enjoyment perspective, sex once a month each time with a different woman would be superior to getting married to a woman who provides him with regular sex. Especially if you are with a woman who is even just mildly accomodating and interested in improving things over time, she can develop skills and learn what you like, and you can do the same. Sensation-wise, it can get better over time than the first time out of the gate.

And on the emotional level, first-time sexual contact would probably be exciting (in a sinful lustful way for fornicators), but one-night stands aren't going to fulfill some of the aspects of desire through intimacy that sleeping with a wife fulfills. I appreciate that aspect of it more as I get older, too.

[droid]

^^I have a similar personality to Winston. Given the choice, I'd rather sleep with 12 different women in one year, one time, than the same woman 50 times. To each their own I guess, but I can't believe the guys that say they still bang their wife of two decades 4-6 times a week. I can't fathom that.

[MrMan]

^^I have a similar personality to Winston. Given the choice, I'd rather sleep with 12 different women in one year, one time, than the same woman 50 times. To each their own I guess, but I can't believe the guys that say they still bang their wife of two decades 4-6 times a week. I can't fathom that.

This is personal, but this is anonymous, and the information might be useful to young men considering life choices. I'm not quite at two decades yet. We are both in our '40's. Four is more realistic than 6. I don't really keep count, but 3 to 4 is probably more realistic, with some weeks twice, and no intercourse during periods which is also my choice. if one of us gets really sick, there could be a long dry spell, of course. I'm thinking intercourse. I'd have to measure if I counted other activity that might count as sex, which is less frequent than intercourse. When we were in our 20's some sort of sexual release for me at least, every single night aside from when either of us were sick or visiting in-laws was pretty typical. Sleeping on the floor in the village with a bunch of other people isn't very conducive to certain activities. I had some kind of sex probably 340 to 350 times for the first year. Maybe I hit 360. I don't remember if we visited my in-laws within the first year or not, though I remember getting a little activity during one visit. But now that we are older, she'll get really exhausted. Then there are occasional digestive problems and minor health issues- we live in the developing world.

[slazenger]

Sex with the same woman gets pretty boring after a while. I don't care how hot she is or what kind of a freak she is in bed... it gets boring no matter what. I was married to a super hot latina for seven years (10 total years in the relationship) and we probably had sex thousands of times over the period. It got old. For her as well, I'm sure. Doesn't matter what you/she looks like or what the skill level is... it gets boring (for both parties, if they're being hones). Variety is the spice of life which is one reason why marriages generally don't work out.

Marrying or deflowering a virgin? Zero interest. I'd prefer to be dating someone who already knows what they're supposed to be doing. I have no interest in training my partner.