Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
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Hey, everyone. Looking for some insight on the subject of getting a wife that's a real WIFE. Not a chick you marry, but someone you actually have something with. I'm particularly looking at the Mediterranean & the Slavic countries- let's say Spain & the Czech Republic for starters, but anywhere else would be interesting information.
On Me: I'm 28, usually very athletic (don't always look it, but I can typically DO a lot), caring, and I've been told that I'm very conscientous. I can't very well put my personality down in text, but it seems I'm a Gamma personality in type. I figure things will go the way they go with compatibility & everything, but I figured I should add in some personal information so people could possibly tell me some prospects.
I kind of dragged my feet on getting the f**k out of America & I'm regretting it beyond words, but I think I'd integrate well into Slavic or Latin places. There just seems to be a similar "rhythm" & part of it seems to be the ability to pick up on things like that without needing exact dictionary-correct words for it. I'd be glad to help the public defend themselves from whatever bullshit washes ashore or decides to land there, but I'm not really a "military guy." Just something of a "Good Wolf" (versus a "Bad Wolf" or a "Good Sheep").
I don't want to get together with a woman just for sake of bumping-up my score (actually, I always thought it was kind of gay to be trying to impress other MEN with your screwing-around abilities). I want a woman that's not repressed about sex & is vigorous & everything, but I really want a woman that interacts with me & is good with the kids. Actually, I also want a general environment where people keep in touch & do things with family. I would also very much like for it not to be tied too strongly to America's bullshit (although it's hard to find places like that sometimes).
On Women: I tend to get along very well with Latinas & sometimes Italians, but it seems I'd also click well with Slavic chicks. I've gotten into things on a more specific level before, but I figure Latin America/Mediterranean/Slavic places would be best. There actually is SOME interest in SE Asia- the women there seem to have more meat on them & the culture seems less rigid (plus, there seems to be more of an outdoors culture- not just bushcrafting as a hobby, but going out in a boat with family & fishing in the ocean).
On Culture: I really like a people that can handle lean times & dangerous situations, in case that comes up (because sometimes it does & contrary to deep-down American belief, it doesn't all hinge on your willpower & choices). Somewhere where the people themselves aren't ignorant of situational/environmental factors in the broad sense- because America is. I've been arguing things with people twice my age that effectively amount to the idea that getting attacked is something that works like signing up for a tournament! These are the same people that will be on your jury if/when the time comes. Considering how quick people are to sue everyone else & how many things are illegal (which connect to you whether you did them or not, as in accessory convictions).
Immediately, what sort of ‘Gamma’ personality type are you talking about? Alpha and Beta are fairly consistent across the board even if they have some differences to some people. Absolutely every ‘authority’ defines Gamma (and Delta, etc.) completely differently. Some define Gamma as ‘an alpha who calmed down’ while others define it as essentially a ‘male woman,’ who operates largely on emotion, and often white knights. And there are other definitions as well.
You posted a lot about your ideas, which is great, but what exactly are you asking? What are you planning to do to get yourself there (or do you know?)? Have you narrowed it down further than two continents (with vague interest in a third)? How sociable are you? How adaptable are you? What kind of weather do you prefer? What kind of looks to you prefer? You seem to have some experience with Latinas, but your talk of Slavs all sounds hypothetical. What Slavic country(ies)? Do you do dating sites? What kind of life can you afford right now/in the near future, what do you have to offer in terms of what you’re good at, etc.?
Signet...all excellent points. If I were wolfeye I would go to for example Kiev, Ukraine and get in touch with some of the girls on dating sites like advertised on this site. At least then it shows some effort on your part, they see your right there on their turf! Also learn a few phrases in Ukraine language. When you personally meet, try to be friends first before anything else and go with the flow.
Signet: Yeah, I guess I was a bit vague. I mean gamma personality in the sense of "alpha that doesn't HAVE to be commanding people & isn't going to put up with bullshit in order to be popular." I've heard that gamma personalities are also more likely to pick up & try to find something better somewhere else- that definitely sounds like me. As for being a white knight or not, I have a different definition. I see a white knight kind of like Dwight in the first Sin City- chivalrous, but not servile. I'd say I'm more like that than most other characters in movies, but not entirely.
I can be very social or very solitary, it depends on the situation. I can be very violent, too- like I'm saying: it's a situational thing. That "if the shoe fits" mentality seems to cause me some problems here in America, but I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because deep down, the people tend to think that reality is what they say it is & its incongruent with that to think compositionally? I tend to wax philosophical & be able to shift from one thing to another- I'm not a "train on its tracks." I think versatility is something that's considered a good thing in other places, instead of a disorder. I was mostly something of a loner throughout my life, but it had a lot to do with the way people acted toward me (and the way that they would frequently would pin the way things went on me, rather than blame the group that was at fault). I've found that prowess is seen in a predatory light- like it's a "bad guy" thing. Unlike sabotage, which is clearly the mark of someone absolutely harmless.
I can handle pretty much any weather. I've been told that I'm borderline nomadic in temperment, so a warmer climate might be a good idea. For looks, I tend toward a range from Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment to Salma Hayek in Desperado with exceptions. I'm not massively picky on that level, but I do prefer curves & athleticism. Usually I go for dark hair (black or dark red, usually) & dark eyes, but again- there's exceptions like if a woman is a natural blonde.
The Slavic countries ARE somewhat hypothetical, but I tend to see eye-to-eye with a lot of stuff from Russia (coming to the same kinds of conclusions, similar tastes in things, etc...). I've been told a couple of times that the Czech Republic would be good for me & I'm continuously more inclined to agree. I've been told they're a very open & honest people which is a major point for me, since I'm like that most of the time & don't like bullshit. I also don't like gun & knife laws or people splitting every hair about everything you do- in all these, the Czechs seem to be less ball-breaking than a lot of places without being the types to burn down houses as a sign of independance.
Spain seems to have a lot of compatible things for me, too- but is harder to put into words. I think it might not be hard for me to suit a woman's tastes there, but also that I would get along fairly well with a people that tend to bother with friends & family on a frequent basis. Also, they take vacations & even value having a break in the day- instead of work a lot & then work a lot more, maybe get some sleep. It might be an idea to mostly live & work in the Czech Republic, then live in Spain for the rest. That way, I can maybe more easily support myself as well as having a place where it's warmer that I don't have to keep paying for like I would if I lived there year-round.
Very interested in a wife & family. Want very much for it be on a personal relationship level, not just people NEEDING me & it happening to be that they don't hate having me around. Had a decent amount of general backstabbing in my life & in the lives of people close to me. There was a lot of people acting like enemies seemingly BECAUSE someone didn't deserve it & people persecuting the counteraction. Had enough of all these things & want to get somewhere where the people don't look at being a dick as some kind of ironic superiority or a symptom of independance.
Then it sounds like you should get yourself to the Czech Republic for an exploratory visit as soon as the main tourist season is over. No reason not to check out Prague since you’re there, but it would also be important to go somewhere else as well (Prague is a big tourist city, so it may not necessarily be reflective of life there). I know there are Czech specific dating sites, but I don’t know how legit they are or the quality of them, nor have I ever been there myself.
More importantly, you’re right next to Poland, and within spitting distance of multiple Slavic countries if CR is a bust (I don’t recall offhand which ones need special visas…I think Moldova does, not sure about Belarus). Obviously, it’s not ideal to be going to those countries without something set up, but just to have a backup plan. Flights aren’t prohibitively expensive from Barcelona, but some of them have irritating layovers. You’re also like a $100 flight from the Balkans. I don’t know dick about life in Spain to tell you all the similarities/differences, but if you’re looking for a laid back approach to work and life, and closeness to family, they definitely have that (but the area is also poorer, and unemployment is high).
No matter which country you go to, you’re going to have to ‘turn it on’ to reap any social benefits. If you’re white, unless you’re morbidly obese and thus obviously an American or Brit, people will just take you for a local, and will have scant reason to talk to you, forcing you to do all the initial legwork. If that’s something that would be hard for you, it would be better to go somewhere that you could leverage your appearance to your benefit by being different. Other than that Czech dating site, I don’t know any methods of pre-breaking into social circles or making friends in those countries before you land. There may be language exchange boards or something that you could try. Meetup.com for Prague and Brno actually has some semi-promising looking stuff. CR, Poland and Moldova also have WWOOFing opportunities (Moldova's is very small though, apparently). I don't know if that's your thing, but it gets you there and makes you meet people.
Most important thing is to just get the ball rolling and get to one (or more) of those countries so that you at least have a frame of reference. You can cross it off your list, or decide it's worth pursuing, and CR seems to be the one you want to visit the most. Don't make plans for 5 years without visiting a place (also, if you actually do get on dating sites, you have an advantage in that you aren't going to be waiting forever to get there).
I can recommend a good haircutter in Prague -- a Brit, Jonathan Cox -- who's pretty plugged in with Czech females. One of his cutters is an American (nice guy, though) who is always hound dogging after the Slavic females. Goes to Ukraine periodically for that purpose. They'd probably help a newbie get a toehold in the city. Prague's a very interesting place, and not too much cultural shock for an American.
Prague has become ultra touristy since I first visited in 2004.
I do not recommend it as a place to hunt, live or start a new life.
You have been warned...
I have no experience with Europe yet, but I have a few ideas.
1. How you go about wife hunting will make all the difference. If you're going as a tourist for a week or two, odds are stacked against you. Going with another purpose will help a lot - you could perhaps go for studying, business, or work perhaps. Of course I could never recommend bringing a foreign woman to the U.S., so this is why I think about this aspect often. You want to stay there for a while, let your roots grow. And of course making some effort with language is usually greatly appreciated.
2. The good news is that Europe has many countries, so there are options upon options in that sense. I'm guessing the bad news will be lack of funds for constant travel and wife hunting, which is one reason you want to get an idea of where exactly you want to go ahead of time. Consider how far east you are willing to go? Would you go as far as Georgia, Russia, Turkey, Belarus, etc.? I don't know how "discovered" those places are, but those countries could give you more options. If you went to a poor country like Georgia or Belarus, that might give you a leg up. But it would depend on other aspects too. I don't know.
Ghost: I'll go pretty much anywhere, but there are some places that I don't think would be a good idea. I think a poorer country might be easier in that way, but what about when my money runs out? Now I've got a problem keeping myself afloat like in America. I don't really know how good of an idea the more EAST parts of Eastern Europe would be, seeing as I would be there coming originally from America. I've heard that it's not necessarily such a big deal, as long as you don't act like an asshole (not really my instinct to begin with).
A worry I have is the muslim influx in Europe. It seems to just keep getting more & more people when they can't afford it. Plus, there's the whole antagonism thing. Fascist behavior is an issue out of anybody, but it seems Europeans are reluctant to counter enemy behavior if it comes from a non-white source. A possible reason is because they want to "make their case" instead of simply fighting back without "using the enemy's momentum against them," but then I see that dwindling more & more.
I've also noticed that the cops over there don't seem to be as, frankly, terroristic as the ones over there, but I might have to worry about that coming from another source. Then again, I'm more willing to physically take risks for a place like one of those countries- at least there, the people wouldn't think it's a wonderful thing that I got what I didn't have coming because in a different situation I could have deserved it. If I did get killed doing it, for instance, they wouldn't see it as a good thing.
If you come to London then drop by and say Hi. There's every type of woman here, every nationality and also loads of jobs.
It seems you're off the beaten track with personality stuff, so get over to 16personalities.com then report back your type. It's a fantastic framework for categorising people. I guess you're ISTJ, but I may be wrong. ISTJ's are valued by the military. They're practical and follow orders. ISFJ's make good wives, assuming you want a more housewife type.
Spain, or rather Barcelona wasn't great for local women, they were in their own little world.
Berlin is awesome but it might suck if you're an ISTJ and happen to catch sight of some of Berlin's stranger human beings.
xiongmao: Well, that ISTJ description has a lot of truth to it- but there are certain differences: One thing is that "by the book" thing. I'm not like that at all, although I'm not nihlistic or whatever it would be called to not have any "orientation". I remember when I was a kid, whenever someone would make a point about generating an inhospitable environment for attack (prevent, escape, revenge- anything at all), someone would always say: "What if a bad guy did that?" The answer is: "That would be an injustice." Not a very doctrine-bound style of being.
Same goes for following orders- I can work with people without being the leader (actually, whether I'm the leader or not, I prefer a lateral chain of command with everyone being competant). I don't think an order is important without merit & that's important simply because someone can always snap while in command.
Also I very much DO emphasize concepts & underlying principles over specific facts & such. It seems I have some of those qualities, but in a different way.
xiongmao: You know, I didn't think of working in Britain? Stupid, since it's a language I speak & a place I would blend in (at least in most areas). I guess that could be interesting- especially since it seems they are very much into bushcrafting & that's something I want to teach. I still have a hard time believing that bow hunting is illegal in England of all places (or is it the whole U.K.?).
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