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3 posts • Page 1 of 1
I talk about Costa Rica a lot and how the women there were more attracted to me and generally more relaxed which made me relax. They looked at me with smiles instead of angry glares which was the most welcome culture shock of my life. More attractive and more time spent with their strongly connected families and people wonder why I want to go back there instead of staying here.
In contrast I grew up with a single mother that spouts mantras about "choosing to be happy" but when her birthday comes around she is clearly unhappy as I can read in her vibes and body language. She spends half the day working and being pissed off about living a life where nobody cares about her. It is this whole "fake being happy until you really are" nonsense in America that makes us suppress our unhappiness with a mask. Our "family" is spread throughout the country in Cali and other parts of TX but even when they come to town she is more miserable being around them. She says to me this depressing idea that there are only a few people you can count on in life and I have seen too many tightly knit families - most of them non-Anglo cultures - to know how not true that statement is and I would rather be the one Anglo amongst them than to have a sham family that I see once every five years at best.
I love my mother but dammit I wish she could find a family that is emotionally supportive. The happiest women I have met have a strong social safety net, particularly healthy relations with their parents and they don't carry around a lifetime of emotional baggage that they pass to their children.
But how many feminists do you know are happy without filling their lives with work?
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Most people in workaholic cultures are not happy! They are always stressed out and under pressure to perform. You mother's behavior is not a surprise.
Yet people in Costa Rica work more hours than North Americans and are ridiculously happy. How did that happen?