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Women throwing themselves at men = not marriage/LTR material

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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Women throwing themselves at men = not marriage/LTR material

Postby MattHanson1990 » Tue Apr 12, 2016 12:24 am

Plenty of us on the forum assume that once they step off the plane in a foreign country the women will start throwing themselves at us. But for the most part, that doesn't happen; and men who expect women to throw themselves at them get disappointed. A lot of guys expect that because as we all know, the average guy in America has to wait years or never until a girl show interest in him; and American women only throw themselves at bad boys or guys in the top 10 percent. But they throw themselves at certain men for the wrong reasons...to see how much she can use him for free dinners and what not. And eventually, even guys in the top 10 percent get screwed over in divorce because of how many options American women have. When you go abroad, some girls may throw themselves at you, also for not good reasons. For those considering LTRs or especially marriage, don't expect the women to be throwing themselves at you, but make the first move yourself. I don't think women who throw themselves at guys are wife material for three reasons.

The first type of woman who throws herself at a white Western man is thinking about marriage the first day they meet. She usually comes from a low socioeconomic class, was used up by bad boys, has kids from previous boyfriends, and is often mentally unstable. You tend to meet a lot of these girls in seedy places such as Mexican border towns along the US border. Living conditions are often harsh in such places. These girls are desperate for security, which is all they have on their mind, and they almost go with anyone. And some may also be green card chasers. They flirt with you either a little or not at all. And they will ask you for money a lot of the time and then want to kiss you when you barely know them. These are definitely NOT girls you want to date. It's better to go to parts of a country where you'll find higher quality chicks.

Then there's the woman who will throw herself at guys because she's sexually active. An example of one is the second girl I dated in Ciudad Juarez last summer. She was originally from Veracruz state, and people from that part of Mexico are promiscuous compared to those in the Bajio. While she probably won't ask you for money, she will flirt with you like very aggressively and sometimes will even make advances on you. For instance, she may want to make out with you within only a week of you two meeting and getting to know each other. Then she may say something like "kiss on the lips, not the cheek". And she may want to make out in bed. This type of girl also tends to dress provocatively, especially when she makes out with a guy. A danger about these girls is that they may carry STDs; so if you're looking for a wife or LTR, it's best also stay away from a girl like this. She best caters to guys just wanting easy sex or short term girlfriends.

Last but not least, a woman may throw herself at men just for the sake of getting attention before moving on to the next gay. Like the aforementioned, she will also flirt with you aggressively and may make advances on you early. A girl like this eventually cuts of contact with you as she moves on to another guy. She only wants attention just because she either is insecure or is trying to inflate her ego. The latter is especially true when you're referring to Anglo girls. They only give out numbers to guys or hit on them because all they want is attention, not a real relationship or a marriage.

Realistically, girls who are marriage/LTR material are more reserved and more introverted. The more reserved girls, for one thing, tend to be easier to get to know on a deeper level and even become good friends with. They are flirtatious, but their flirting is much more laid back. Plus, they let the man make the first move instead of her making advances. And they usually won't want to make out with you in bed since they hold the belief of remaining virgins until marriage. For instance, Mexican girls in the Bajio are of this type, which is the reason I vibe with them better than the ones I met in Ciudad Juarez. Also, the more reserved girls are far less likely to cheat or use you for attention. For those looking for LTRs or marriage, I recommend going to countries or regions of a country where the girls are more reserved. They tend to be shy, but they will open up more as you get to know them. Definitely reconsider the expectation of women throwing themselves at you if you're looking for marriage.
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Re: Women throwing themselves at men = not marriage/LTR mate

Postby Jester » Tue Apr 12, 2016 2:59 pm

Good post, Matt.

Looking forward to more trip reports from you.
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
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Re: Women throwing themselves at men = not marriage/LTR mate

Postby Ghost » Wed Apr 13, 2016 7:31 pm

Women are predators. The difference from the rest of the animal kingdom is that they prey can tell the predator to f**k off. When a woman is looking for marriage, that means she is looking for a chump to pay for her mistakes. When she isn't looking for marriage, that means she's not ready to look for a chump. I'm not seeing the bright side anymore.
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Re: Women throwing themselves at men = not marriage/LTR mate

Postby jamesbond » Wed Apr 13, 2016 7:54 pm

I guess all those women from the Philippines who throw themselves at men are not marriage material. This is going to disappoint a lot of guys on this forum. :(
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
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Re: Women throwing themselves at men = not marriage/LTR mate

Postby Ghost » Wed Apr 13, 2016 10:46 pm

jamesbond wrote:I guess all those women from the Philippines who throw themselves at men are not marriage material. This is going to disappoint a lot of guys on this forum. :(


There is very little marriage material in Philippines. Technically, there is, I suppose, a lot of marriage-worthy women in the world, but foreigners have little to no access to them.
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Re: Women throwing themselves at men = not marriage/LTR mate

Postby MattHanson1990 » Thu Apr 14, 2016 12:18 am

Ghost wrote: Technically, there is, I suppose, a lot of marriage-worthy women in the world, but foreigners have little to no access to them.


This is especially true in places where foreigners are a common sight. In such places, the local girls won't take foreigners seriously as romantic partners. That's why a person should consider getting off the beaten path to look for marriage material. For instance, if you hear the 2nd podcast featuring Winston and Rock, Winston mentions the smaller cities in Russia being ideal places in that country for finding LTR/marriage material. And one person reported that in the Philippines, the provinces are where one will find marriage material and not in Manila or Angeles City.

I even noticed a quite similar pattern when I was Mexico. I mentioned before that the more provincial regions in central and southern Mexico (e.g. the Bajio) are more likely to have women who are marriage material. It's mostly their counterparts in the northern states who have deteriorated a lot since the advent of NAFTA, especially the ones in Tijuana, Ciudad Juarez, and Monterrey.

Oh, and I forgot to add this. I even noticed a lot of the fresa girls in Guadalajara dressing slutty; so they're emulating American women in some ways.
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Re: Women throwing themselves at men = not marriage/LTR mate

Postby Jonny Law » Thu Apr 14, 2016 12:31 am

I will be living in Thailand starting April 30th.

-My Advice-
1. Boarder Towns are the MOST SHITTY PLACES TO FIND WIFE MATERIAL!
2. The more contact she has had with a foreigner the more shitty wife material she is. If she had a foreigner boyfriend she is used goods and worthless wife material. White/Anglo men are shit and ruin foreign women. Either she is shit and cannot keep good a man or she was with a bad White/Anglo man and she will then treat you bad.

Only date women who have never been with a foreigner!
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Re: Women throwing themselves at men = not marriage/LTR mate

Postby chanta76 » Fri Apr 15, 2016 6:02 am

Johnny_Law,

Aren't you a foreign man in the Thailand seeking a girl there? I imagine the decent thai girls stick to thaiguys I think. But I agree...expats ruin the scene..they way over monger the place.
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Re: Women throwing themselves at men = not marriage/LTR mate

Postby MrMan » Fri Apr 15, 2016 1:03 pm

When I moved to Indonesia, a lot of women were interested in me. A few of them came on really strong. It may not have been as big of a turn-off prior to going there and realizing I was 'in demand', but something about a woman being too aggressive was a turn-off. I wasn't looking to fornicate. I was looking for a 'good girl.'

In one part of town I would ride a bus a long way to to teach at an English school, I went out for Korean food at an outdoor food stall near the mall. There was a local girl there who was kind of cute. She just stared at me, in a very intentional blatant manner, making eyes at me. If I were looking for a roll in the rice paddy, maybe I'd have responded. But that sort of thing didn't give off a 'good girl' vibe to me. Most girls who came on just a little too strong weren't that obvious. There was this unattractive fat sales girl at the large discount store I'd visit at a mall in another town I lived in who was a really big flirt. I'd try to avoid her. I told her I was going home and she said, "Can I join you?" (in her language.)

There were also respectable girls who would show some interest in subtler ways, like a woman who gave me her business card with her phone number after a brief conversation on the bus. She was a bit 'curvier' than what I was interested in and her face didn't spark my interest. I never called her. Sometimes it felt a bit like middle school where the woman tells her friends she likes you. Or you can pick up on non-verbal clues.

In Indonesia, if a woman subtly expresses interest, I don't think that means she's a bad girl or not wife material. If she comes on too strong or is flirtatous in a sexual way, that's can be a bad sign. Virginity is expected in that culture until marriage. The girls who like white men are not all slutty. There is a street in Jakarta that is kind of known for loose women hooking up with expat travelers. There are also clubs for that, or I hear there were when I was there. But there are also plenty of respectable Indonesian women married to expats. Some of the movies stars married expats or are mixed, so interracial marriage can be a high status thing. Marrying outside one's people-group is a fairly common thing over there, at least in Jakarta, the capital city. The Dutch were there for centuries, so marrying whites is not so foreign a concept.

My father-in-law used to work for an oil company in a city that has a lot of oil workers. When he heard his daughter was dating me and we were thinking of getting married, at first he did not approve. He was afraid I wanted her for a 'contract marriage' and his people believe in marriage for life. I hear that some of the expat oil workers will make a deal with a local girl to marry her for the duration of their stay in Indonesia for a certain amount of money. The woman keeps a house and any kids from the marriage when he leaves. I don't know that the marriage has to be on paper either. Some of these guys may be married. My wife rather quickly convinced him I wasn't looking for a contract marriage on the phone. We did have an aunt, after we'd been married a year or two, who acted surprised that I was taking my wife to the US with me (and she was pregnant, too). She said something like, "Is he taking you with him?" in a surprised tone of voice. My wife was a bit offended. So some people may view it that way, too.
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Re: Women throwing themselves at men = not marriage/LTR mate

Postby jamesbond » Fri Apr 15, 2016 1:55 pm

MrMan wrote:When I moved to Indonesia, a lot of women were interested in me. A few of them came on really strong but something about a woman being too aggressive was a turn-off.

I wasn't looking to fornicate. I was looking for a 'good girl.'


I lot of expats are just looking to fornicate, just ask Winston. :P
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