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Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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Re: Ethics/Morals question for foreign women

Postby cdnFA » Sat May 21, 2016 5:50 am

Winston wrote:How do you get a mistress in china? Cdnfa? Do they advertise somewhere? I cant imagine any chinese woman wanting that arrangement. If i asked the chinese girls i know for that, theyd be insulted.


Good question. Not a clue.

Rich Chinese dudes get mistresses all the time. I suspect if you show off the wealth they will make themselves known. Being an English teacher in a Tier 1 city might not be enough to do it at least not anymore. Having serious income in a poor region and if you read the air right, and being willing to put it in the right terms and you might have some luck. If you tell her up front that you will pay her to f**k you and be your maid, she might get insulted. However if you gently broach the subject with someone you sort of know...



It isn't very helpful actually. I've read similar about Thailand but they don't make it clear how to find one without getting your face slapped.


OWN [yeah I know] interviewed one girl with an oddly Japanese name who dated this guy twice her age who took her virginity. Turns out he was married but he set her up in a nice ShenZhen apartment with 5K RMB and English Lessons. There were other question marks in the video though.


This site is an insanely in-depth source on living in China. I suspect it may be out of date and I can't vouch for it's accuracy.
http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/prostitution-in-china.htm

Renting and Buying "Wives"

We have confirmed two reports of foreign teachers in China who have actually rented a "wife." Renting refers to the process of retaining the full time or live-in services of a prostitute: She serves as both a domestic helper and concubine. In the two reported cases we could confirm, one in Shenyang, Liaoning province and the other in Rizhao, Shandong province, the fee for engaging such services was disclosed as 4,000 yuan per month. One foreign teacher in Inner Mongolia was even approached by a "broker" who was trying to sell him a wife for 10,000 yuan.

... some stuff on trafficked women. followed by a warning.

Although engaging the services of a live-in prostitute is no more illegal than engaging her for one hour, and, once again, momentarily setting aside the moral and legal issues, the arrangement is an entirely risky one. Several Chinese colleagues have informed us that these girls often steal the men blind. Over time, once the man is at ease, the girls eventually obtain a key to the apartment and will even be given the security code (password) to the man's ATM card. One day the unsuspecting man returns home to find both an empty apartment and bank account. Women who sell themselves to strange men in any capacity are thoroughly desperate and that reality needs to be remembered at all times for anyone even contemplating the use of their services.


As that was pretty useless in answering your question, I remembered the article as being more useful. I did some searching and found this

http://www.ibtimes.com/chinese-mistress-culture-101-difference-between-ernai-xiaosan-1422930
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Re: Ethics/Morals question for foreign women

Postby Johnny1975 » Sat May 21, 2016 8:06 am

Ghost wrote:
Johnny1975 wrote:Yes, there's a moral problem.


Being cucked is the worst thing that can happen to a man. So the punishment for adultery should be death. There's no grey area here.


Murderers should be punished by being cucked. It's the worst thing that can happen to a man.
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Re: Ethics/Morals question for foreign women

Postby Winston » Sat May 21, 2016 11:14 am

MrMan wrote:Ghost,

Yes, there is an ethical problem. Sex with prostitutes or with unmarried women who aren't virgins is sinful, too. Not as bad as adultery, but still immoral.


Why is sex outside of marriage immoral? Can you give a logical reason? What does god expect men to do if they are super horny and not married? Just masturbate? Isnt masturbation a sin too? Either way masturbation is not fulfilling.

Abstinence is extreme and extremities are never good. Everything in moderation is the answer to a healthy balanced lifestyle.
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Re: Ethics/Morals question for foreign women

Postby Winston » Sat May 21, 2016 11:20 am

MarcosZeitola,
Its true that not all leftover women are super picky. However all the ones ive met do have some kind of personality flaw or mental issue that blocks them from having a stable relationship. Often they are unstable themselves emotionally, or they lack people skills and social skills to stay in a relationship. Some of them simply have no ability to get along with other people.

This is true even if they seem like nice women. After you get to know them, you will see these flaws manifest. Then you will realize that you cant get along with them even if you try and put in the effort.

Of course some women are just unlucky too, in that every man they dated has dumped them, as if they always choose the wrong men, or they repel men for some reason and cause them to leave them. Even then, constant bad luck eventually makes them jaded and have baggage.

Probably many of us guys here are like that too, including me. When you have too much bad luck for several decades, you become super jaded and lose the ability to love with purity and innocence.

Some women are also workaholics and invest all their time in work and business. Such women usually lack the ability to love and have no relationship skills. They are emotionally unavailable so to speak. So even if they decide to get married, they will still have issues and blockages.

Also some people just dont seem cut out for stable relationships. They always need too much space and freedom and their personality is too uncompromising, uncaring and self-centered to be in a normal stable marriage, or to care for a family. Simply put, some people just dont get along with other people at all. They can handle superficial social interaction with others, but nothing beyond that.
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Re: Ethics/Morals question for foreign women

Postby MrMan » Sat May 21, 2016 12:58 pm

Ghost,

It is immoral to sleep with these women. First of all, no birth control is 100%. For most of human history, birth control had an even higher failure rate. So if you go around sleeping with these leftover women, as you call them, there is the chance that one of them could become pregnant.

If she becomes pregnant and doesn't tell you, then the child is raised without a father. That's an unethical situation. If she does tell you, and you get visitation rights (child support payments, etc.), and there is no father in the home, again, another ethical problem since that is not as good for the child. Suppose you decide you will marry a woman and raise the child if she gets pregnant. She can still choose not to, so you are fathering a child in a high risk situation for the child, an other ethical problem.

You could also get one pregnant without knowing it before moving on to the next girl and sleep with her, so you could end up with two baby mamas instead of one, and if you wanted to marry one, you'd be short changing the other child.

There is also the risk that you could have sex with one of these women, and she could murder your baby. Legally, you would have no control. But you contributed to the murder in that you engaged in the high risk behavior of having sex with a woman with these kinds of ethics (the kind of ethics that cause her to be willing to have sex with you, too.)

There is also the issue of 'your fellow woman.' Usually when people say, 'my fellow man' they mean the prefeminist usage like 'mankind' that includes both genders. I suspect you just refer to other men. A woman having sex with a thousand fornicators is likely to damage her more than sleeping with two or three. You would be contributing to the father.

As far as hurting men goes, how would you feel as a man if some guy were just using your 'leftover' daughter for sex?
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Re: Ethics/Morals question for foreign women

Postby gnosis » Sat May 21, 2016 3:08 pm

Winston is right. The leftover women are usually leftover for a reason.
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Postby Ghost » Sat May 21, 2016 5:56 pm

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Ghost » Sat May 21, 2016 5:58 pm

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Ethics/Morals question for foreign women

Postby DatingAlpha » Mon May 30, 2016 2:48 pm

Ghost, where are you trying to find a good, appropriate, complementary foreign woman for marriage and family?

Instead of treating the symptoms, why not go for the cause of it all.
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Postby Ghost » Mon May 30, 2016 8:19 pm

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:27 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Ethics/Morals question for foreign women

Postby DatingAlpha » Mon May 30, 2016 10:18 pm

Then you're looking at the right place especially Philippines based on what Winston and the others are posting about them here. So what made you hopeless in finding a good, appropriate, complementary foreign woman for marriage and family?

I'm trying to figure out why you have to cure human stupidity when all that matters is your own perspective.
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Postby Ghost » Mon May 30, 2016 11:05 pm

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:27 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Ethics/Morals question for foreign women

Postby The_Adventurer » Tue May 31, 2016 2:08 am

Ghost wrote:In China, there far more decent women than in Philippines, but far fewer are accessible to foreign men.


Learn Chinese, and keep trying different provinces. China is huge and, thus, huge cultural differences abound. IN lower GDP areas, you can find places with accessibility and interest in foreigners similar to Philippines, but that still hold onto traditional values. (meaning honest, innocent, non slutty girls) That may not get you past the parents, but still...

Never underestimate how big a difference speaking the language makes.
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Postby Ghost » Tue May 31, 2016 3:05 am

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:28 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Ethics/Morals question for foreign women

Postby cdnFA » Tue May 31, 2016 7:02 am

Ghost wrote:
I only study Chinese while I'm in China, since I don't see the point without being able to use it day to day.

I've made plenty of friends in China, but so far I haven't connected with any of the women well. I get superficial compliments (who doesn't?) but can't recall getting any clear signals of interest. That may change with my next year in China, as I know province matters a lot.


1: Doesn't your Chinese erode rapidly. I am under the impression that without constant practice your tones and your ability to read and write go to utter crap much quicker than with non tonal non character based languages.

2: I've been under the impression that it was easier to make female friends and very hard to make male friends, or am I thinking Japan.
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