Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
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I get a sense that a lot of filipinas are super simple
while that can be an asset in some cases, i feel as an intelligent guy, that would quickly grow old, and for long term/marriage would prefer someone i can have intelligent conversations with
do you think filipinas in general are less intelligent than western women? any ideas to find smarter girls?
also im finding in online chat, we send a few messages back and forth, then it sizzles out and i never hear from them again. whats the key, persistence or something? Maybe im not finding girls i really connect with ?
I will probably be in the minority here in terms of my answer. I do not find Filipinas to be less intelligent than girls I have known in the US. However, despite the fact that most speak English their knowledge and life experience is totally different. When my wife (a BS grad) moved here she had no knowledge of 9-11. For that matter she didn't know about the Vietnam War, Gulf Wars, etc. WW2 she knew about because the Philippines (including her home town) was ravaged by the Japanese. OTOH, she can tell you all about the life and loves of Marion Rivera, so it balances out
I just read a posting on another forum about a guy's experience with his Filipina wife of 10 years. She had never used an oven or range before she arrived in the US. Does that make her unintelligent or coming from a different life experience?
So if you love literature and are expecting to find someone to discuss Proust with - forget it. But she'll know every song by Freddie Aguilar!
As to how to find someone to chat with, that's a long discussion that's been attempted many times. When I searched online I focused on girls with 4 year degrees or girls pursuing 4 year degrees. From there I chatted and spoke with a lot of girls. I wanted someone bright and fun, but knew there would be limitations in terms of topics of interest and knowledge. I had no problem finding girls who were bright and anxious to learn. But I never had that Proust discussion Good luck!
Check out my blog @ www.marriedafilipina.com
By and large, they are pretty simple with a few and far between exceptions. It's not about knowledge but more about basic common sense, speed, and processing skills.
Perhaps the environment here does not motivate people to think much because of the extreme dysfunction from top to bottom (infrastructure, government, attitude,culture, etc.). Planning things doesn't yield the benefits at personal level they would in a place like say China or in the USA. The more you try to get things done here, the more severe you're headaches get lol. Not much of anything here is dependable or reliable so you're probably happiest in longer term to take path of least resistance and go with the flow. On the other hand, there is a small percentage exceptionally clever people here, many of Chinese or Indian ancestry but also some with more native roots who exploit the inefficiencies to profit off the dysfunction here.
Also, keep in mind, the average IQ here is 86 and SD is around 10-15 so 85% or more are below what we consider to be an average (mediocre) level of 100.
I've noticed that since call centers have largely switched over to Philippines from India, it often takes people I deal with longer to understand my issues and they generally are more challenged to resolve them when more complications come up. This in spite of having easier to understand English speaking style for a typical American customer. That's just my impression though so take it for what its worth. Just a couple weeks ago, I had a major problem with United Airlines on a flight I'm taking back to States from Beijing in July. The Filipino call center person put me on hold for like 40 minutes and then when he came back and I explained that my battery was running low, he said it would only take a minute but it ended up taking another 30+ minutes before he returned. Then I found out he was talking to his supervisor about some red herring which didn't really affect my ticket even though he seemed to think it did. Sometimes you really need a lot of patience to explain things multiple times before they understand the basic problem you are suffering.
I've also found they are kinda slow to figure out things like more complicated gadgets and are also weak with numbers and calculations. I've even had Filipinas get locked in my condo cus they couldn't figure out how to unlock the front door from inside lol.
Now on the asset side of the balance sheet, Filipinos tend to be extremely patient, slow to visible anger, and many would argue empathetic. So they are in a way better at dealing with people than Ugly Americans lol.
If you want sharp switched on women who will challenge you intellectually and put you to shame in every way, you're probably better off in Russia. But if you want sweet easygoing and fun loving companions, there's a lot to be found in Philippines.
I have no real interest in discussing economics or history or even current events with people. I am used to even smart people not sharing my interests in the first two cases and being punished by being exposed to profound ignorance and stupidity in the case of current events.
Stupid and simple can be endearing in some cases. If she is the sort who knows she is stupid, I think it could work out, not an optimal situation but still. Like Ko Ok's character from "My Husband got a Family" she was very endearing. OTOH she knew she was stupid and trusted her husband's intelligence. I must admit it could get old to have her say, at the cash saying she will pay for the beef and rice but they never ordered the Sum with is as expensive as everything else and shouldn't have to pay for that
However the problem is three fold.
1: Most stupid people don't understand they are stupid. They will say idiotic shit and when you try to correct them they will double down because they just don't know. Nor can you explain anything to them because again, stupid. If you are with someone who just isn't a thinker and will look to you for intellectual leadership [no adama] then it could be tolerable. I've know a few stupid people, very few who knew they were stupid. Sweet girls, but rare.
2: Stupid people, at least the ones who don't know they are stupid will land you in trouble. You will always have to fight them on things like responsible spending in particular as well as the less important things. They don't understand but think they do.
3: Just in general it can get annoying to have a girl spout off about astrology and how god has nothing better to do than get her a hot guy [real example], or derping on about chemtrails and vaccines [another example] or how her all loving and just imignary friend will torture me if I don't believe in him in the perfect way [Catholics apparently got it wrong] and just not understand how torturing people who disagree with you isn't just [a third real life example] . That can over time create distance. Worse is having to listen to this and not being able to say anything because if you do it will only encourage a debate which means more derpyness.
I'd also like to think that sweet, easygoing and fun loving can go together with at least some intellectualism.
To me the bigger problem even if she knows she is dumb and as such is willing to have you do the thinking for her is that her country is filled with idiots and thieving bastards.
I know some people like it, but it sounds like a hell on earth. I was considering it at one point but sources like the above and other comments both on this forum and elsewhere, has me thinking the PI is a last resort place.
Thanks guys for the comprehensive replies and feedback! great idea w finding girls with degrees, but im not so sure how high those standards are lol....
I guess im really attracted to the latina like look of the filipinas, and there seem to be so many beauties. Growing up in Australia, i like the idea that i can go on holiday, fulfill my fantasies of making love to the most beautiful women, and even find a long term companion. There are some girls ive talked to that seem quite intelligent, although it seems much of those smarts are flushing out competition with the regular "hows your search going" question lol.
Im starting to think that they are doing a kind of simple test by not responding to your messages at times, to see if you persist, as if you were chatting to multiple girls, you would be spread more thin and wouldn't persist as much. Im finding it a catch 22 though, because while im finding it hard to build attraction online, ( and some of these dating sites are dangerously addictive! ) and im not sure if im ready for marriage just yet, and maybe want to get some 'fun' out of my system first, as im still in my early 30's, rather than regrets at being locked down.
Its intriguing to me that you can setup multiple bases of operation and OP's, where you can dramatically improve your dating life and live a life of greater excitement and passion, especially a stones throw away from one's own home country. Australia in general seems to be moving towards a more anal police state anyway, so im not setting down too many roots here anyway. I especially like the idea of creating a business that adds dramatic value to other peoples lives through innovation and creative solutions, which is my passion and my talent, and have been contemplating setting up a small work team in a tech hub area of the Philippines
I dont expect fem-einsteins, but at the same time can imagine that it would get pretty frustrating being with someone i couldnt maintain an intelligent conversation and dialogue with, im not really interested in world knowledge etc, just someone i could find stimulating and would join me in my quest for greater growth, development and excitement in life
Male friends are for intellectual conversations. Women can be intelligent but this comes from benevolent male guidance (from fathers, husbands, brothers, etc.) And women don't naturally value anything that matters besides child-bearing and rearing. I'm not saying look for a stupid woman, but just one who is average but loyal and nurturing is probably your best bet. And Filipinas are not too intelligent anyway, so there's another problem with that.
A helpful guide:
Expatriation Apocalypse! The Guide to Expatriation for the Broke and Hopeless (Kindle)
Expatriation Apocalypse! (Paperback)
Good wisdom Ghost
Its more that i desire conversation and bonding with my lady, not so much the need for intellectual conversations, but you make some good points.
With the online dating im finding there is an initial interest with a few messages back and forward, and then the interest dies off. It doesnt seem many of these girls put much effort in, and im not sure whether i should double down on the girls i like, or just message more girls that spark my interest. Seems like these dating sites just suck you in for hours, and in the end im only getting maybe one or two video skype chats out of it
She might not be that interested, you might not be that interested. She might not have consistent access to the Internet or a computer. There's a million possible reasons. In short, you will have to make a lot of contacts before you find one or two to focus on. I was contacted by hundreds of girls and in turn contacted hundreds myself. I chatted multiple times with at least 50, pairing it down to my fave 20 before really getting serious. As the cliche goes, there's lots of fish in the sea and you're going to have to taste a wide variety before you come up with your favorite. Fortunately it only takes 1!
Check out my blog @ www.marriedafilipina.com
I like to feel chemistry with online chat. I want a girl to ask me questions and take an interest in me, not just to answer questions with one or two words. I soon get bored and move on if they don't hold my interest.
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