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Is it possible to be happily settled-down?

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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mattyman
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Is it possible to be happily settled-down?

Post by mattyman » February 4th, 2018, 6:18 am

I only ask this question because of ll my mates who are now settled down with families, their lives look like misery and slavery. One thing we look forward to in a relationship is to be comfortable & fully accepted for who we are with someone you also find attractive. Nobody looks to feel enslaved. We want the companionship and someone to share our lives with, we don't want to be stuck with our own company. At the same time, we don't want the sort of relationship that makes us feel trapped and enslaved.

On thing I've realized on observation; work doen't stop on finding a partner. There are obviously tons and tons of things that can be done to prevent that sort of relationship. Part of me is put off about settling down, part of my thinks that an LTR is possible, as long as it adheres to some guidelines & that I don't make the mistakes that some people are making.

If you've been single for a long time and complained about loneliness, chances are you've been told to 'love your own company'. Chances are, this comes from people who've been in unhappy relationships and who think that their own experiences=ALL relationships anyone could have are all bad. Rather than give a load of pessimism about all relationships, why not acknowledge any mistakes that were made which you and the person you're advising could learn from. If not, such people should say nothing at all.

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Yohan
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Location: Tokyo, JAPAN

Re: Is it possible to be happily settled-down?

Post by Yohan » February 4th, 2018, 5:39 pm

mattyman wrote:
February 4th, 2018, 6:18 am
I only ask this question because of ll my mates who are now settled down with families, their lives look like misery and slavery. One thing we look forward to in a relationship is to be comfortable & fully accepted for who we are with someone you also find attractive...
For sure in the Western world as a man to settle down with a local girl next door is tantamount to slavery.

However this is not really the case if you decide to move out to elsewhere in this world and you settle down with a foreign woman in her own country.

This HA-Forum is encouraging Western men to relocate and to look out for foreign women. Likely a way of life-style worth a consideration.

Bao3niang
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Re: Is it possible to be happily settled-down?

Post by Bao3niang » March 17th, 2018, 11:54 pm

Let's assume you are already set for being happier abroad. In that case, at the end of the day, there's no reason not to settle down. You can go around having a little taste of everything, but, trust me, there will come a day when you're: 1. Getting old and no longer able to handle it physically 2. Become exhausted emotionally, psychologically, and financially 3. Both 1 and 2. Even if you've had a taste of everything out there, at the end of the day, you may end up with nothing. You'll be old and lonely. Even from a purely practical point-of-view, you WOULD want someone to be with you as a companion and look after you in your twilight years. It's not fun being alone once the days of glory are behind you. Taking these realities into account, it would be good to put your heart in the right place, to pursue a simpler and more moral path from the very beginning. You would be spared from a lot
CYKA BLYAT!!!!!!

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Yohan
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Re: Is it possible to be happily settled-down?

Post by Yohan » March 18th, 2018, 6:06 am

Bao3niang wrote:
March 17th, 2018, 11:54 pm
Let's assume you are already set for being happier abroad. In that case, at the end of the day, there's no reason not to settle down. You can go around having a little taste of everything, but, trust me, there will come a day ...
.....
Become exhausted emotionally, psychologically, and financially
.....
You'll be old and lonely. Even from a purely practical point-of-view, you WOULD want someone to be with you as a companion and look after you in your twilight years. It's not fun being alone once the days of glory are behind you.
True, and luckily I am now fully prepared for the coming years. I am now 65.
I will not be alone, as there are wife, 2 daughters, a granddaughter, a Filipina fosterdaughter...I have a good relation with all of them.

Financially seen, I am secure. I managed to receive a good state pension from Europe up to the end of my life, also have free medical care in Japan and a second home in Thailand.

Legally seen, living abroad is no problem for me as I am holding permanent resident status in Japan and I also have a 12 month pensioner visa in Thailand.

The Thai pensioner visa can be extended easily every year. No need for me ever to go back to EU and to die alone over there either in a basement room or in an elderly care home.

mand38
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Re: Is it possible to be happily settled-down?

Post by mand38 » May 6th, 2018, 4:30 pm

Well, for now, I don't think that is possible, but if I found out that it is possible I will inform you:)

You used great word to describe: "slavery" :)

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