So some of you have read my other thread in the "advice" section, because I currently have a Filipina girlfriend living abroad in the Philippines.
A little background of me. I did post this in my original introduction posting in the Intro section, but it was not approved by the administrator. I'm mixed Korean, and *gasp* Japanese-American. My mom is Korea, and from Korea, and is the typical nut-case Kimchee-tiger mom you can think of. My dad, on the other hand, is a chill laid-back Japanese-American (sansei) who was born in HI. You see most of these inter-Asian hapa's like me in HI, no where else in the US.
Getting back on topic, I have been chatting with my current GF (Grace) via Messenger since September of last year. The irony is my mom asked one of her hair salon customers, who happened to be a Filipina, if she knew of any single girls in her family. She introduced me to a single distant neice living in the Philippines, up in Laoag city. However, things did not gel and go well, and that girl eventually stopped responding to my Messenger messages. She flaked out,...So I moved on...
Then came August of last year where the Filipina client introduced me to my current GF Grace. She gave me the phone number of the aunty of my current girlfriend living in Hawaii. I visit Hawaii once in a while because my parents live there. I live in depressing WA state by myself because I relocated here for my job. Anyhow, our conversation via Messenger Facebook kicked off, and at first, my current girlfriend only sporadically chatted with me. She's a shy type of person as I have learned about her when I visited her in January of this year. As time went on, we sent text messages almost everyday, so our text message frequency went up as the months passed.
At the same time, I was also in a "relationship" with another Filipina (my ex GF...but only relationship via Messenger,...I have never met her) who was introduced to me by a co-worker in the previous nursing department I used to work in. Ex-GF was the one who told me "let's start to be in a relationship on May 22, 2017. I will not forget that day.
But at the same time, big effing mistake on my part to keep chatting with the ex-GF while I was also getting to know Grace, and that's where I f--ked up big time.
That co-worker was a "friend" of mine, until I had a text message argument with her white husband, and things started to go downhill with the co-worker where we only smiled at each other at work, but did not talk to one another. I should have ended my relationship with the ex-GF at the time of the argument with her friend/the co-worker. It's because my ex-GF was forcing me to apologize to the co-worker for being "rude" to her husband, when the husband actually used the former co-worker's phone...told m to stop texting her. I felt offended. But due to me having lousy experience of finding a girlfriend here in the US (because I'm an Asian male), I really enjoyed my ex-GF keep sending me text messages like "good morning honey!" and "ingat ka" prior to me going to work.
For those of you males here, regardless of whether you're East Asian, SE Asian, white, black, whatever.....you know the good feeling of these Messenger text messages you get from Filipina's that you could not even get from American/western girls' text messages (even if they're really bulls--t, and they're trying to be coy to get you to marry them for them to get a US greencard!
)To make a long story short, I was not really into my ex-GF after August of last year after that text message argument with my (ex coworker, since I no longer work there) co-worker's husband.
I visited Grace (current GF) in the Philippines back in January to get to know her face-to-face. Her dad, older brother and herself picked me up at NAIA (airport in Manila), and we drove five freaking hours to Illocos Sur province area. I will not disclose her "Barangay" area.
I stayed at her house for six days. I also ate breakfast with the family, and also got to meet my GF's older sister, her sister in law, mom, dad. Strange, her older brother did not really care to interact with me.
We visited places in Baguio, Baluarte, etc. Did zip line together, ate lunch and dinner together, took photos together.
One week passed by really quickly! On the last night, the dad of my girlfriend sat down with me, and my GF, and asked me how she can travel with me back to the US. I was like "wow, okay?" First of all, I told him, that I need to complete all the Fiance Visa paperwork, and it takes a while.
I told the father of my GF to hold on, as my GF used to work as a nurse in Saudi Arabia, and has nursing experience. however, she needed to first take her board exam to work in the. But due to the poor economic situation in the Philippines, my GF has been unemployed for the last two years because it is difficult for her to find a nursing job there.
I flew back to the US (WA state), and the week after, sh-t hit the fan.
The sister in-law of my current GF asked me via text if it's okay to post our photos on her Facebook account. I was hesitant, but I told her "okay, go ahead."
that's when my ex-GF's friend, and my former co-worker found out about me being with Grace in the Philippines the week before. My ex co-worker was infuriated and started to send me nasty text messages. I immediately blocked her. My ex-GF also started to send me Messenger messages, and this is while I was at work, towards the end of my night shfit. I did not want to read their cr@p while I was at work, so I simply blocked both of them on FB. Ex co-worker then started sending messages to other employees (these were usually Filipino employees and were friends with my ex co-worker) to forwards to me. But in the process, other employees in my former department started to know about all this problem.
I still love my GF and I was planning on seeing her again in May, and also attending her younger brother's wedding in May.
However, my mom is now forcing me to break up with my Filipina girlfriend.
Just two weeks ago, mom and I flew to South Korea (not north korea
) to pay taxes for one of her property that she owns over there. In the process, one of her close friends, also Korean halmunee, back in Hawaii, had relatives who are church pastors in Korea, who knew two single girls there. One of them was too freaking young for me. She was also very shy, in her low 20's, and only spoke Korean. I had to struggle with my 70% Korean knowledge to communicate with her.
The other girl is almost my current GF's (Grace) age, but younger by 7 months.
She works as project manager down near Pusan area for some kind of airplane part company.
Her face,....meh, not to bad,...to be honest. I'd say she ranks a 6 or 7/10 level in looks.
Hence, now, my mom is forcing me to break up with my Filipina GF Grace, and wants me to get engaged and eventually married to the second Korean girl that I have met for only one day, two hours (in a coffee shop).
I feel so sad and have been crying my a$$ off for the last 8 hours. I also did not go to work tonight as I feel like cr@p.
I was hoping to travel back to the Philippines to visit my GF Grace in May. But now that mom is being a total b-tch, and crying, telling me that "my future is much better with the Korean girl (project manager) compared to the jobless Filipina." Yup,...that is what she yelled at me over the phone.
Question is, how do I deal with this kind of FORCED breakup?
It's not like breaking up with a girlfriend who attends the same high school with you, or a girlfriend who lives on your same neighborhood block.
This is a GF of mine who lives thousands of miles away. I thought, at the time of my January visit, that I had the chance to go back in May to revisit her, and also get to meet her younger brother and the brother's fiance. Her younger brother is set to get married during the first week of May.
To me, my current GF, even if I have to break up with her in the coming days (because stupid mom says so)......she will always be in my heart.
I don't know how to explain it guys. But it's this feeling of "no closure" and sadness that makes me weep.
I mean we can still see each other on Facebook.
But if I end up marrying the Korean girl.....I don't know what to do. I still have a scrap book of my photos that I have taken with my GF Grace, and I don't feel like throwing it away.
I also have refrigerator magnets that she has given me as gifts. When we went to the Baluarte Zoo, we also bought stuffed animals, one panda bear for her, and a lion for me. I still keep that doll on top of my cabinet.Even if I'm satisfied with the Korean girl......I will always have this strange "so how is Grace doing?" feeling that permeates my mind, until the day I get dementia or Alzheimer's disease.
