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Serious dilemma with Dianne: Should we separate for good?

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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Postby Winston » Wed Jun 18, 2008 7:53 am

KristineTheStrawberryGirl wrote:Winston,

This may sound a like an off-the-wall idea, but would you have the option of moving yourself, baby and wife in with or near your parents? As strange as it may sound, taking Diane and Angelo to live with or around your family for a while may help resolve the dysfunction or it may help you know if there is any hope. I think that it is time for your parents to set the standard and the example for a while instead of hers. It may help to cultivate Diane, help her to become more cosmopolitan and sophisticated, and it may help her learn a more constructive role. Im terms of the cultural aspect of your relationship, you are the one doing everything to adjust to her ways, her family and their values. Let her adjust to some of your values, and your family's values.


W: Actually we've been trying to do that for a while. That was the plan. Since my parents have two houses, one in Taiwan and one in the States, we were going to fly to Taiwan, which is only an hour from here, and stay at the house there for a while, to see if Dianne can adjust to overseas living.

Plus we have a car there and more conveniences as well as cleaner air.

But we keep getting jinxed while trying to do Dianne's passport. And we are both lazy and procrastinate as well. When we finally fixed her baptismal record, we ended up losing the whole passport application on the bus. It was in a large envelope and neither of us wanted to be responsible for it, so we kept passing it on to each other. When we got off the bus, it was gone. We left a note with the bus drivers on the same route to text us if they find it but so far no go to my knowledge. I can only hope we can just use a new application.

But yes, when my parents are around us, we behave more and things seem a bit more stabilized. One thing my parents have always been is STABLE.

So that is a good observation and idea Kristine.

I don't think Taiwan would teach Dianne to be more cosmopolitan though, well maybe a little. People there are awfully strict and closed minded. But they are moralistic too with a very deep conscience. But yeah she'd see more of the world and have more modern conveniences.
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Postby Winston » Wed Jun 18, 2008 7:58 am

Grunt wrote:In other words, reward negative behavior. Relationship advice from a feminist. Classic.

KristineTheStrawberryGirl wrote:Winston,

This may sound a like an off-the-wall idea, but would you have the option of moving yourself, baby and wife in with or near your parents? As strange as it may sound, taking Diane and Angelo to live with or around your family for a while may help resolve the dysfunction or it may help you know if there is any hope. I think that it is time for your parents to set the standard and the example for a while instead of hers. It may help to cultivate Diane, help her to become more cosmopolitan and sophisticated, and it may help her learn a more constructive role. Im terms of the cultural aspect of your relationship, you are the one doing everything to adjust to her ways, her family and their values. Let her adjust to some of your values, and your family's values.


W: Kristine's suggestion had nothing to do with feminism. She merely suggested going to a more stable convenient environment to help things. Family always provide comfort, love, and stability. Nothing wrong with that. She never said anything about rewarding bad behavior.
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Postby DiscoPro_Joe » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:56 am

Has TheRiDdLeR given you any advice on this, yet? :lol:
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Postby Winston » Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:10 am

DiscoPro_Joe wrote:Has TheRiDdLeR given you any advice on this, yet? :lol:


W: Not yet. He seems to be busy lately.

Why? Do you get off on his "comments" and "blasts"? lol

Only crap could come out of his mouth.

Do you think Batman takes advice from The Riddler? lol

So where you been? Busy? What's the update with you? Still going to China? Maybe you can tells us in another thread, so this thread doesn't get off-topic.
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Postby Repatriate » Wed Jun 18, 2008 1:09 pm

Whatever you do Winston..whatever happens do NOT..I repeat DO NOT bring this woman back to the U.S. You are asking for enormous problems if you do. You think you know her character now but do you really..were you able to predict that she was going to do the things she is doing now back then?

She already sounds pretty hysterical and I don't know the specifics to judge your relationship but any woman that feels the need to beat her man and act lazy/high maintenance deserves the boot. It's the beginning of the end when things start to descend into this sort of childishness and disrespect.

You aren't completely innocent either you decided to have a kid with her so now you're sort of tied down to her. Classic mistake man. Don't have kids with someone unless you really understand them and have lived with them for awhile. My opinion is that the more you reconcile and go back and forth the higher chances it becomes an abusive or needy relationship.

I'd really consider breaking it off relationship wise and work something out on how you will take care of your kid.
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Postby sharpbws » Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:30 pm

Winston -

IMHO all this whole thread does is openly display what a selfish, self-centered asshole you really are.

You refer to Diane as "your wife" yet you've not taken any of the legal steps to make her such. This is because you've known deep-down inside you'd eventually leave her and your baby once your inherient responsibilites for them grew too burdensome. That's why you never made a true and legal commitment to her. Now you're here on a public list basically asking everyone for "permission" to leave her. You are incapable of loving anything or anyone other than yourself. Makes me sick to my stomach just to read such trash.

You openly lust after other women even in her presence. You've made a baby with her yet in the description of your "dilemma" you never mentioned once what your responsibilities would be for that child if you were to break up.

In the description you provided, she's acting like a wife who is being disrespected by her husband. The real question is when are you going to start acting like a responsible husband?

You are what Phillipina women would call "a butterfly". You can't be trusted to be faithful to her and she knows it. Consider yourself lucky that she only slaps you when you show her such open disrespect. You may well wake up one night after she's taken a knife to your cock to make sure you won't use it on others ever again.

Time to grow up Peter Pan. Time to do what's right and moral for once in your miserable life. Time to marry the girl, get a REAL job and show just a glimps of responsibility and concern for someone other than yourself. Life is not all about fun. Life is about assuming responsibility. You've avoided responsibility for 30+ years now. Time to grow up and act like a man instead of a selfish self-centered small boy with a perpetual unsatisfied hard-on.

Now excuse me everyone. After reading all this self-centered crap, I need to go and do what is pictured in my avatar.
Last edited by sharpbws on Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:55 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Grunt » Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:34 pm

Repatriate wrote:She already sounds pretty hysterical and I don't know the specifics to judge your relationship but any woman that feels the need to beat her man and act lazy/high maintenance deserves the boot. It's the beginning of the end when things start to descend into this sort of childishness and disrespect.


That about covers it. And I stand by my statement that this is rewarding bad behavior. Feminists, or crypto-feminists, will always lobby for "give her the benefit of the doubt", even when physical abuse is involved. Next she will be running you over with the car you bought her. If thats not feminism, what is? What if it was YOU beating HER? Do you imagine this feminist advising HER to stop nagging you and give more blowjobs? Get some perspective, Winston! For Gods sake!

Lets cut to the chase here, shall we? You are being physically and emotionally abused and manipulated. This problem must be addressed, first and foremost, before you reward her by providing a more comfortable situation for her to beat your head in with a rolling pin when you come home 5 minutes late.

Granted, you do have a child, but the baby should not be used as a cudgel to terrorize you into submission. And thats what this is all about. Getting you to become submissive. And it looks like its working like a charm.
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Postby Winston » Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:46 pm

New interesting responses: (wow the responses so far have ranged from the overly practical to the creative and the bizarre as well as to sympathetic and supportive)

"Yes, everyone is different, and the scales balance differently for each one - I guess what I'm saying is that as one gets older, generally, the scales tilt more to a stable one-woman preference. However, men, being men, and fuelled by differing levels of testosterone, will probably always like to get a bit of action. Maybe as one gets older, and the testosterone levels reduce, the lust for action also correspondingly reduces as well.
Winston, at this point in your life, it doesn't sound like you are ready to settle down with just one, because you are living in a candy store and want to eat all the candy you can. This really isn't fair to Dianne.
I also think that you may be a little confused about what it is that you really want. I read the Russian journals, and the premise was that you were looking for 'true love', and in fact embarked into at least one engagement.
I see you as a bit of an adventurer, someone with a high need to communicate, and interact with people. I also see you as having the normal desire to have a stable relationship - deep down that is probably what you are looking for - but at the moment, and probably because you haven't had a huge amount of opportunity to sow your oats in your younger years, you also have a desire to 'play that game for a while'.
I can understand that. One day you will realise that while its much fun while it lasts, it in fact cannot last and will not give you complete fulfillment.

Now my case is interesting and I'm finding out a lot about myself. I had the younger 'fun'. I had the stable marriage. Now Winston, I'm sort of enjoying my singleness, not because of the freedom it allows me to fool around again, but just because of the freedom to control my own life and make decisions for myself, and not having to put up with a wife's nagging and issues. The sex is completely secondary now, and a lot further from my mind that when I was younger. Maybe my testosterone is rapidly delpleting.

Don't try to shoe horn your life into examples of other guys, like some of your friends or Hugh Hefner. Everybody is different. Scales tilt differently for everbody - and differently at different times in your life. I can't wait for your posts in 5 years time to see how the scales are tilting for you then."

-------------------------------------

"Brother,

I am 31-years-old, and feel I am too young and inexperienced to give you advice. So I will ask questions instead: What if Dianne is—like many women—just keeping a personality façade right now which will wear off in 10 or 20 years if she comes to the USA? Best not to bring her to the USA, because she will be rewarded by the state if she wants to divorce you. Plus, in the Philippines, there are less guys willing to marry her since she has a child. American men, on the other hand, are the most pathetic and desperate men in the world, and they will marry anything. American men will trip over each other to marry a single mom.

Another question: Do you realize that your child will suffer tremendously if you are not in his life?

Maybe you should tell Dianne that since you were sexually deprived in your teens and 20’s, it is in your DNA to get the horn dog out of your system. (I know what this is like, brother, because I live in this sexual void called America). You need to get the horn dog out of your system. I haven’t done so, and I will not marry before doing so.

Tell her the hitting needs to stop immediately. The man should be the leader. No feminist nonsense should be allowed. DO NOT bring her to the USA, because she will instantly acquire so much power over you because of feminazism. You have a degree of power over her since you are in the Philippines. Leverage it. She should realize that it is the man’s duty to be the provider and protector, and the woman’s duty to nurture the child, be a homemaker, and be loyal. That’s it. Female infidelity is unforgivable. It is not the same as male infidelity. Men are capable of having sex without emotionally straying, but women are not. That is why male infidelity is OK, and female infidelity is not. The man can choose to be faithful if he wants, but he is under no obligation to. The woman, however, is under obligation to be faithful.

Do you think it is possible to let Dianne know that you will be with her and stick to your duty of protecting and providing for her and Angelo, but just for one year, you will be getting the horn dog out of your system by sleeping around?

Remember, female infidelity is not the same as male infidelity. Female infidelity is a crime against her man, and it is spitting in the face of everything he has ever done for her.

Your son is the most important factor in all of this. To be mentally stable, he needs two parents in his life. He especially needs a father. The father’s presence in a child’s life is arguably more important than the mother’s (although the mother’s presence is 100% necessary). Children without fathers often turn to crime and gangs (since other gangsters serve as father figures).

I respect you a lot, Winston, and I hope you take none of my words as me talking down to you. I am not in any way talking down to you. You have been a huge positive influence in my life, and I am highly grateful.

So, to recap, try being the boss with Dianne. Tell her that you will be with her to provide and protect, but you reserve the right to get the horn dog out of your system. Tell her that she can never hit you again. Explain to her how male and female infidelity are not the same thing. Explain to her how the male sex drive is a lot more intense than the female’s, and the reason you need to get the horn dog out of your system is so you can eventually move on (from the sowing the wild oats stage) and focus on your relationship with her and your son.

I think you can possibly have BOTH. You don’t need to choose between your relationship with Dianne and your sexual desires.

Again, I am just a 31-year-old with less life experience than you, so just factor that in when you read what I wrote. Oh, and please do not publish my name. I highly value my anonymity."

-----------------------------------

"You are a scumbag, Winston. I'm sure in the long run both the Dianne and your son would be much better off without you. There's a good chance he'll even grow up before you do."

--------------------------------

"Winston,

I'm sorry to hear about your "dilemma" -- physical abuse of any kind is ALWAYS wrong, no matter how seemingly incidental, and regardless of whether or not the abuser is simply doing what is "acceptable" by his or her cultural standards. If she

But I hope you realize that "being surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of gorgeous women" is not a justification for adultery! I'm not saying this to be mean, but in the 7 years that I've known you, your consistent rationalization of any behavior that is harmful to or disrespectful of others has always been the same: "I really, really want to do this! I mean, I REALLY want to do this!"

I could write an entire volume critiquing and psychoanalyzing certain aspects of your email, but doing so would not be at all constructive or helpful to you. I've no doubt you're in a bad situation, and I know what it's like to receive well-meaning yet useless advice from people who "just don't understand.'

If the family situation becomes irreconcilable, would you consider coming back to the U.S.? (I know you're still enchanted with the cheap and easy p***y that surrounds you, but dude, don't you want anything else out of life??)

I have money saved, am getting steady income, and believe it or not, I shall be moving to Las Vegas by September or October. Feel free to drop by if you ever come back to the "main land.""
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Postby Winston » Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:58 pm

Brad,
I am not asking any permission on this list. I am merely telling it like it is. You calling me a self-centered asshole is your opinion and it does nothing to help our problem or find a solution. I'm not an asshole. I'm just a butterfly. Assholes don't act sweet and romantic the way I do.

You are missing out on some real nightlife here Brad. Me and the boys tonight had a time and went to a party you wouldn't believe and is beyond your dreams and Moscow facade.

I mentioned in my first post here that I would support the baby if we broke up.

You just look for any excuse to vent at me. How come the other responses I posted sound far more understanding and intelligent than yours?
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Postby Winston » Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:49 pm

Hi all,
Just an update. Dianne is now back at my home. We were both so lonely and miserable without each other. And I was too, even though I was having fun and excitement and stimulation from lots of hot girls the past few days, while going out and partying with the guys and all (I don't know how these guys can go out 7 nights a week to the bars like that and never get tired, don't they ever feel like staying home and reading or writing or reading forums? lol). Even though I was on a high with so many hot girls and experiencing all that hot flesh, I still felt empty and miserable inside without Dianne and Angelo.

So I couldn't resist the urge to text Dianne today. And low and behold, she wanted to see me as soon as she could. When she returns, she always pouts for a while and acts all dramatic before settling down.

The good thing is that she has become very predictable.
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Postby sharpbws » Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:33 am

WWu777 wrote:You just look for any excuse to vent at me. How come the other responses I posted sound far more understanding and intelligent than yours?


I believe my message was idential in meaning as the message from your own father. I just didn't "sugarcoat" it like he did.
:-)
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Postby Winston » Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:23 am

Next response from my dad:

"I read the comments from your site. They have given you very good suggestions (some) already. The important thing is understanding and take some responsibility of your actions. You said Dianne is becoming high maintenance and lazy. Well, I think part of that is your fault. You keep taking her to malls and exposed her to those vanity staff. No girls can resist that. And, you keep praise her and tell her how pretty she is. Do that occasionally but not too often. You gave her a deception that she has to keep her make up with pretty dress to keep up with your expectation. If you two ever get together again, you should refrain from looking at other girls and if she hit you again, let her know you are very angry about her action and tell her not to do that again regardless in the public or private. Violent behavior should not be ignored and tolerated.

Any way, think about Angelo. You don't want him to grow up in a broken family and don't have his dad with him to be his role model to nurture him. Can you imagine how he will feel if he has to grow up in a single parent home? Or, if Dianne married to other man, will this other man loves him?

Act wisely. Love,
Dad"
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Postby Winston » Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:57 am

Hi all,
Get this. Dianne is starting work at a bar tonight, but a very nice classy one with shows. I don't think she will last more than a week though, as she hates bars and her personality wilts in them. She cannot feed off the energy in a bar at all. You have to have a certain kind of personality to be in them regularly. She doesn't have it.

But she said she is trying it out, cause she has to make money for her family and our baby. I don't make enough to give her a big allowance, as I make around $100 a month only. Besides, I'm not responsible for supporting her family either, even though the takers and bloodsuckers here prefer to think that I am, artificially making it my responsibility in their heads.

Some of you may think I'm crazy for letting her work at a bar. But hey, everyone is free to do what they want, and other guys have girlfriends working there too. A person's gotta do what they gotta do. But I don't think she will last long there. Her personality doesn't fit in at all.
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Postby Winston » Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:09 pm

Hi all,
Well at her request, I visited Dianne in the bar tonight. And she looked fantastic in that bikini outfit. Here are some pictures I took. She was nervous as hell going in.

Also, here are some photos i took of the stage shows that go on constantly there. As you can see, there are a variety of shows, and the girls are hot, and these ones here feature body paint on their chest that make it look like they are wearing tanktops when they are naked in the front. lol

(Note: The pictures were attached to my list email. I will try to insert them into the forum later.)

Some of these girls are hot too. Take a look. Imagine that I can get laid with these stunning model beauties if I want! That's why this is sex/babe paradise here!

Anyhow, back to the subject.

Now, I don't mind her working in the bar in the sense that she doesn't have to have sex with the customers. Some girls just get ladies drinks and never go barfine. But you'd have to get a lot of regular ladies drinks to do that. Then when a customer asks them to barfine, they simply say that they have menstruation or that they only do bar hopping on a barfine. And besides, since I go to bars and barfine girls, it's only fair that I let her do the same. BUT......... BUT........... the problem I do have is that when you work in a bar in Angeles, the bar thinks it owns you and tries to control your whole life, even when you're not working. You can't just do whatever you want after work or before. What this means is that they have a rule, the girls who work there are not allowed to have husbands or boyfriends outside of the bar scene. That means NO FREEDOM and no right to do whatever you want in your personal life! Now that I have a problem with and would protest, as i don't want some money making organization to try to control our relationship and family. No way. That might cause a conflict at some point where I might just tell the bar the truth, that we are involved with a baby, and tell them to take their rules and shove it, and then she will have to make a choice, as the bar won't accept her having her own relationship.

Plus, they work you 6 days a week, 8 or 9 hours a day. Right now her schedule is 7pm to 5am, those are long hours and she has very low tolerance for pain and is very lazy, so I don't think she can withstand all the long hours.

Thus, I don't think it's worth it for Dianne to sacrifice her personal life and our life, and everything we have, and her own freedom, just to help put her sisters through school, which is really society's way of molding you and brainwashing you. I don't think school is that important anyway. It's just something that society hypes up to be important, just because. I've always felt that was stupid.

I don't know. Maybe she's doing this to get back at me or deliver some poetic justice.

Dianne doesn't need the money herself since I'm supporting her, and her family lives in the aunt's house (though I hear the aunt may be selling it), and if they run out of food, their neighbors can give them some or I can buy some for them. So the only expense not covered is school. But why sacrifice so much in our lives just to put her sisters through school? That's stupid.

Her parents are the ones who popped out all the children, so they are the ones responsible for them. Thus I don't even think Dianne should feel obligated to feel responsible for her sisters. Her parents are responsible. They are the ones who popped them out, even though they can't afford to raise kids. I hate it when Filipinos pop out lots of kids and then expect others to support them. They love to get lazy and receive. It doesn't make any sense.

By the way, before Dianne left just before our "break" started, she stole our baby's gift fund from my male purse. She said she might not ever see me again and so she needed it, and believes that she should hold on to it since she's the mother. That's so stupid. I accused her of stealing and asked for it back, but she refuses. She is just stubborn and bullheaded about stupid things. It's just wrong. For one thing, the people who donated funds to our baby entrusted ME with it, not her. And also, I think it's likely that when she's out of cash, she will borrow money from the baby fund for personal uses, and not repay it (though she promises she won't).

This isn't the first time this has happened either. Many months ago, there was one night where I had 4500p in my pocket after exchanging a hundred dollar bill. Then I bar hopped with a guy I met, but he paid for most of my drinks. Then I ate at Margarita Station and spent 100p. Then I went home with Dianne and the next morning, I had 3400p left when I should have had 4400p! I looked everywhere multiple times but 1000p was definitely gone. Only Dianne could have taken it, perhaps out of an emergency. But she denied it. It was never solved. And I am sure I did not accidentally spend a thousand pesos and forget about it. No way. I retraced the whole night before and know that I could not have spent 1000 pesos. Though this is circumstantial evidence, I strongly suspect she took it, perhaps for an emergency purpose.

Often, she does what she wants, regardless of whether it's right or not. That irks me. But I can do that too, so I guess we have that in common.........
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Postby DiscoPro_Joe » Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:27 pm

WWu777 wrote:I might just tell the bar the truth, that we are involved with a baby, and tell them to take their rules and shove it, and then she will have to make a choice, as the bar won't accept her having her own relationship.


She should certainly find a different bar (or other employer) that doesn't try to run her personal life. That's just crazy.

Often, she does what she wants, regardless of whether it's right or not. That irks me. But I can do that too, so I guess we have that in common.........


Hmmm..........she cheats on you financially, while you cheat on her sexually. Sounds fair to me! :mrgreen:
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