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Why Men Cheat: My Explanations and Analogies

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Why Men Cheat: My Explanations and Analogies

Postby Winston » Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:18 pm

http://www.happierabroad.com/Why_Men_Cheat.htm

Why men cheat on women they love: My explanations and analogies

I’ve often been asked by women, including my own girlfriend, why men cheat on women that they supposedly love, as though it were some perplexing unfathomable mystery. Sometimes, the question is rhetorical, but in case it’s not, I’d like to provide the following simple analogies to answer this common question asked by women, which is not unexplainable at all. It’s just that oftentimes, women do not accept the explanations. But in fact, one can understand it through simple analogies and common sense.

Of course, sometimes men cheat on their wives or girlfriends because they don’t really love them anymore, are bored with them, or even possibly unhappy with their relationship. In such scenarios, even women can become unfaithful. But in general, men are more likely to cheat than women are, statistically speaking. This has been confirmed by studies and research as well as common sense experience, and not really in dispute.

However, many men also cheat on women whom they love and are happily involved with. It is these scenarios that perplex many women, and so I offer the following series of explanations and analogies to help them understand the reasons. I will simply tell it like it is straight, with no bull, tact, or political correctness.

Basically, it’s like this:

1) Some men need a lot of variety in their lives perpetually, and thrive on new experiences and stimulation.

They get bored by the same thing every day or a routine, which gets old to them, and they are afraid to voice this. Imagine this. Suppose you ate your favorite pizza everyday. One the second day that you ate it, the pleasure would be noticeably less than the first day. And after a week of eating it, you’d get tired of it and start to strongly desire to eat something else. Your desire for that pizza will have reached overkill at that point.

Or, imagine wearing your favorite outfit every day for a week. After a while, you’d get sick of it and want to change into different clothes, even if you wash it every few days, right?

The same applies to any number of examples as well. Even if you went to the wonderful Disneyland for the first time and experience the wonders and magic of it, with each subsequent time you go, the pleasure, excitement and novelty of it all decreases with diminishing marginal returns, technically speaking.

Now, I know what you are thinking, “You can’t compare food or clothes with peopleâ€￾ right? That’s the typical female reaction to this analogy. However, I’m sorry to say that this analogy does apply, because it’s one of the best and simplest ways that it can be explained. I am not trying to objectify people. But by accepting such an analogy, it will start to make sense to you.

Now, you might try to argue that “true loveâ€￾ never gets old. But the notion of “true loveâ€￾ is undefinable, very personable, and highly subjective. And even for the sake of this argument, if we agree that “true loveâ€￾ never gets old and never wears out, that still doesn’t change what we’re talking about here. You see, even if a man has true everlasting unending love for his partner, he can STILL desire another female he fancies. And explanation # 2 below gets more into that. That’s what you’ve got to understand, rather than cling to naïve clichés of society.

Just for the record though, yes there is the kind of deep everlasting love between couples that never wears out and keeps them together happily. That does exist. And it exists in my relationship too. However, even a man who has that can still desire multiple partners or extramarital affairs, and the next explanation, # 2, explains why.

2) The next thing you have to understand is that whereas a woman’s heart tends to be able to love only one man at a time, a man’s heart is different and CAN truly love MORE than one woman at a time.

I know this is hard for some women to accept, and unfathomable to their values and beliefs about “loveâ€￾. But it is the truth. A man’s heart is different, or can be different in some men that is. It simply CAN and depending on the individual, sometimes DOES have multiple chambers that love and desire multiple women. It’s like a tree with different branches, rather than just one. Men who are like this though, usually won’t admit it, because our society doesn’t accept this, but condemns it.

To try to understand this, think about all the different colors you love. Suppose you like pink and sky blue, or red, blue, black and purple. Now, can you like more than one color at a time? Of course you can! It is not mutually exclusive. You like the different colors in different ways, on different things, and for the different ambience and mood that each color accentuates, right? Likewise, you can like more than one type of cuisine right? Can you like Chinese and Italian food at the same time? Of course you can. Even if society said you could only like one type of cuisine, it wouldn’t make a difference would it? After all, society may attempt to create mutually exclusivities, but reality doesn’t.

There are an endless amount of such examples I can give, but you get the point. I know these are painfully obvious examples, and I am not arguing that people are like colors or food, but such simple analogies DO in fact describe what’s going on inside those who love more than one person or like having many lovers.

Therefore, just because a man tells more than one woman that he “loves herâ€￾, desires her, or has feelings for her, does NOT make him a “playboyâ€￾ or “liarâ€￾. He is not necessarily “playingâ€￾ in terms of acting, nor does it mean he is using people in some sort of pretend “gameâ€￾ where he doesn’t care about their feelings. These are just false judgments by society (especially a feminist or female dominated society like modern America has become). And he is not “lyingâ€￾ to them or being dishonest either. He is simply expressing REAL multiple desires or love to multiple women. He really is in fact capable of feeling the emotion of love or desire for different women. But of course, he often has to keep that a secret, except from others who are the same as him, because society condemns this.

That’s it in a nutshell. I know to some women, that does not make sense and does not fit their definition of love and loyalty. But it’s the truth. That’s reality and you’ve got to accept it if you want to try to understand it. Not all men unequivocably attach loyalty to true love. Society might do so, but not all human beings do.

What some people have to understand is that being in a loving monogamous relationship does NOT automatically erase one’s desire or attraction for other people.

Of course, men who have multiple partners or are Casanovas often do have to lie to the women they romance, by telling them that they are the only one when confronted with the issue. So that is one area in which they commonly lie. However, it does not make them dishonest people in general. It’s just that since most women cannot accept that their partner can pursue someone else beside them, demanding total monogamy in love, these men with multiple desires for multiple women are FORCED to have to lie in order to prevent chaos and failure in courtship. There is no easy way around it. And that is the case even if they are generally honest men. (After all, who hasn’t lied? Everyone has at one time or another, so stop pretending to be an angel!)

Now, loving/desiring multiple women has nothing to do with right or wrong, or being good or bad. It is simply a lifestyle and often these men are simply expressing who they are. Nor is it deviant maladaptive behavior, but natural and normal for some, depending on the man. Thus, infidelity does not make a man “badâ€￾ in a moral sense. Often, these Casanovas who romance multiple women are tender, caring, good-hearted, loving, nurturing people. Some are even deeply spiritual or religious (such as St. Augustine, the eloquent author and mystic of the early Christian Church) or Renaissance men who are highly intellectual (such as many Italian and French men commonly are).

Some might try to argue that a man who desires multiple women is not feeling love for them, but lust. However, that argument is highly subjective, since the line between love and lust is blurry, undefinable, and subject to personal opinion. There is no universal objective measuring stick for differentiating between “loveâ€￾ (which has so many different meanings anyway) and “lustâ€￾. Others argue that a man who finds a woman that he truly loves with all his heart will never desire or even look at another woman again. Now this might be true for some men, but it is not true for all. So these folks who utter this (which includes men themselves) are mistakenly assuming that all men are like them. In reality, a man can find the perfect woman who outshines the rest in his life, and can even have a perfect relationship with her, but still look at another woman he finds attractive and desire to court her, romance her, and experience the wonders and pleasures of her femininity as well.

3) Some men get a “highâ€￾ or adrenaline rush from courting, romancing, or seducing new women, in a way that nothing else can, and thus are addicted to it. The excitement, stimulation, and novelty they get from it makes them feel alive. They live for the thrill of the chase, and new conquests feed their male ego and sense of worth.

It’s similar to those who get an adrenaline rush and high out of roller coasters, extreme sports, skydiving, climbing Mt. Everest, or putting themselves in danger’s way. They get this pleasurable feeling and high that makes them feel alive in a way that no other way does. Thus, they need to do these things, even if it means risking their lives foolishly.

Those who don’t derive pleasure from such things may think that those who do are crazy and cannot understand why they get pleasures out of them. You might have heard about how many people die every year trying to climb Mt. Everest. And you might think they are crazy, but remember, those who climb it say during interviews that there is a pulsating desire in their blood to climb it that can’t be understood by those who don’t have it. This desire is so deep and a part of who they are, that they are willing to risk their lives in extreme danger for it, and unfortunately many of them lose their lives attempting it.

For some men, being around beautiful women is a surreal experience beyond words that never gets old. It puts them in a trance like state of nirvana in a way that nothing else can. I can tell you from personal experience that having a tall sexy gorgeous attractive “hotâ€￾ female in a bikini next to you, with your hand on her waist or back, feeling her smooth silky skin is a nirvanic heaven-like experience that no words can do justice to. It’s simply out of this world. Not even the love, joys, and pleasures of a perfect wonderful monogamous relationship can compare to it, which is not the same and does not give you the same type of high or sense of aliveness (and yes I’ve experienced the joys of both lifestyles). I hate to sound so juvenile, but it’s true. This is why some men shun the life of a monogamous relationship or family life, preferring instead the life of a “sex playboyâ€￾, such as the kind that Hugh Heffner, founder of Playboy Magazine, lives. Of course, since most men in America, including those who are rich and handsome, can’t live the life of a Hugh Heffner, they can do so in other parts of the world that allows them better opportunity to do that. But either way, the desire is there.

Of course, if this becomes an addiction, then no matter how many “conquestsâ€￾ a man attains, he will always feel lack and need more. There will never be a point where he is satisfied and then he can move on. Addictions are very hard to permanently cure of course, and being addicted to sex, love, or having new women everyday is far more difficult to quit than drugs, alcohol or smoking, because the former has to do with internal chemistries that are a part of our body, mind and psyche, while the latter has to do with outside foreign substances.

But alas, there is no perfect solution or answer to everything. It’s not right or wrong. It just IS. Some things in life are just meant to be endured, not fixed or solved like an equation.

I hope that these explanations and analogies above help the female asking why men cheat on their lovers, to better understand what’s going on, even if they can’t accept them.

Relationship psychologists have argued in media and books that just because a desire or instinct is there, whether by genetics or conditioning, does not mean that one has to “actâ€￾ on them. Technically, that is true. But at the same time, if one is never free to “act outâ€￾ who they are, or live one’s desires and passions, then life can become a suffocating prison barring who you are, making you long for “freedomâ€￾.

Of course, there are some who need to live and act out who they are as a form of self-expression, while there are those who don’t need to as much. Thus, there will always be those who would rather take risks, than live a lie and not be allowed to be who they are.
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Re: Why Men Cheat: My Explanations and Analogies

Postby momopi » Thu Sep 18, 2008 9:47 pm

Through history, men have kept multiple wives, concubines, lovers, etc. To this day a few religions and sects still allow multiple wives, Islam (1+ billion followers) being the largest. To say that a man can love more than 1 wive is not a lie.

But, telling your wife that you're not sleeping around, while you're having sex with other women is a lie. Dishonesty is what it is. Some cultures tolerate it more/less than others. The general rule is that the man should be discrete or else he'd insult his wife and the wife's family with his affairs.


dis·hon·es·ty (di(s-o(n'i(-ste-) Pronunciation Key
n. pl. dis·hon·es·ties

1. Lack of honesty or integrity
2. A dishonest act or statement.


Quoting my old ex GF from 1990, "Being a man, your eyes will wander. I'm OK with it as long as the body doesn't follow."

---------------------------------

Some cultures have completely different values, such as the Mosuo in China, with their tradition of "walking marriages" where adult men and women are free to sleep with each other at will:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mosuo#Walking_marriages

---------------------------------

Women are also very capable of keeping multiple boyfriends, lovers, and husbands. Here's some videos on the subject:

http://video.nationalgeographic.com/vid ... bands.html

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news ... eo-ap.html

http://www.hulu.com/watch/29908/nationa ... -free-love
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'cheating'

Postby Shokkers » Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:50 am

What I've found:

Be POLYAMOROUS, accept it, state it from the get-go, and you will never have to sneak around or feel guilty. You won't be cheating, you'll simply have other relationships (which is everyone's perfect right, when you think about it). Of course, you will have to be up front about the other relationships--you can't have your girl catch you in bed with another girl and then say "Well, I'm poly, I was going to tell you about it eventually."

The problem is in finding women who will stick around after finding out you're poly. Most won't, unless they are poly themselves (maybe 12% of the population, growing at a snail's pace), or if they live in a different area.

Ironically, a lot of girls bail on me 'cause I'm poly, saying they want a "one-woman man", and they tell EVERYONE when they've found one.

Then, anywhere from a month to a year later, they're crying in their beers because their "one-woman man" CHEATED ON THEM!!! BWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

If you are going to actually cheat, rent the movie "How to be a player" first. It's actually got some good tips (for example, the 'player' says "Never do a girl at your own house, unless you want her to burn it down."

If you do get caught, say "I got a better offer", or "I already broke up with you, but not your p***y." So much manlier than pleading "Ohhh, I'm sorry baby, I couldn't help myself, blah blah blah..."

Best, K.K.
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Postby momopi » Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:13 pm

This discussion reminds me of someone I once knew, who had a compulsion to seduce his friends and associate's wives/girlfriends. Something about cheating with his friend's wive/GF behind the back makes him high like dope. He tried dating normally but it just doesn't work for him.

After being beaten and shot at, he matured a little and last I saw him, he simply told people up front that he has this compulsion and asked them not to bring their wife or GFs along.

It's healthy for men to have sexual desires, but his behavior was in the mental basket-case category.

On subject of morals and ethics, society makes all kinds of rules. Some are religious and sexually oppressive, others are liberating. You can agree/disagree with the values, but should always take into consideration for the "golden rule" (do no harm) and legal consequences.

For example, here in the west, premarital sex between consenting adults are not illegal and accepted by many. But you wouldn't want to do that with a Muslim girl in Iran or Saudi Arabia.

Hitting your spouse or GF is generally unacceptable, but if you're into BDSM and your partner is into BDSM with whips, by all means, go for it. But if you forced someone to perform, then it becomes non-consensual rape. You cannot later say "well I thought she would enjoy it" to the judge.

If you're married, and knowing that if your infidelities would bring shame upon her and her family, then cheating on your spouse is no longer a victimless act (adultery is also illegal in 2 dozen states in the US and numerous countries, including Taiwan and Philippines). The same is true for lying to your GF and sleeping with someone else behind her back. If you already know that it'd hurt her and exposing her to increased STD risk, then it's not a victimless act.

If biological drives can be used as justification for any unlawful or deceptive act, then murderers can say "since caveman days we have the natural drive to spear opponents in the gut", rapists can say "I have God given sexual desires and the right to exercise them over women", and your wife can say "sorry honey, we all feel horny so I slept with the mail man, and you've been raising his child for the last 18 years".

-------------------

If you lied about something, be honest to yourself in the fact that you were being dishonest.
Last edited by momopi on Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby momopi » Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:22 pm

KNOW THE LAW. What you think it's right is not necessarily legal where you are.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... lp-us.html

British man facing jail over his 'adultery' with a Filipino woman asks: 'Why won't the Foreign Office help us?'
By ANDREW DRUMMOND

Last updated at 00:23 24 February 2008

When David Scott fell in love with a beautiful Filipino woman, he embraced the opportunity to escape his humdrum existence as a machine operator in Swindon and begin a new life in an exotic land.

But within weeks of leaving his friends and family to join his girlfriend in her native country, his dream of happiness has vanished - to be replaced by a nightmare he could never have anticipated.

After fathering a child with Cynthia Delfino, whose separation from her estranged husband was not complete, the 35-year-old became an unwitting victim of the Philippines' harsh legal system.

He and 29-year-old Cynthia were charged with adultery and thrown into a rat-infested prison for four days.

Terrified: David and Cynthia must pay her estranged husband £7,000 but have no money

And despite David having spent his life-savings trying to ensure freedom for the couple and their newborn baby, they have now had to go into hiding as the country's police search for them.

If they are caught, David faces seven years in jail and having his daughter taken away from him permanently.

"I can't believe this has happened to me," he said at his hideaway in a squalid suburb of the Philippines capital Manila, after almost two months on the run.

"I have done nothing wrong and yet I have found myself in this horrendous situation. I am begging the British Government to help."

David's ordeal began when Cynthia became pregnant with his child before she had officially separated. Adultery is illegal in the Philippines, where it can incur a seven-year jail sentence.

Now, just weeks after the birth of baby Janina, Cynthia's estranged husband - who is considered the child's legal father in the Philippines - is determined to see the pair imprisoned if they do not pay him £7,000 compensation.

If they are jailed, he will be the one bringing up their baby daughter, a prospect David says breaks his heart. Now only cash, which David and Cynthia do not have, or diplomatic pressure, can save them from jail. However, the Foreign and Commonwealth Office say they cannot interfere with Philippine law.

David said: "Nobody is going to take my daughter away from me. It will be over my dead body. Under British law my daughter is mine. Why can't the Foreign Office help?"

Cynthia, a psychology graduate from Manila's Colegio de San Juan de Letran, met David over the internet in November 2006.

At the time, she had been separated from her husband, Noriel Delfino, for a year and was working as a supervisor at the Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi.

David, then living in Swindon, was working on a contract for the Ministry of Defence, cutting armour for use on military vehicles in Iraq.

They began talking on the website Camfrog.com and soon realised their attraction for one another.

"We used a webcam, so I knew how beautiful she was, and from the start we were direct and honest with each other," said David.

"We would spend hours talking about every subject under the sun - we just clicked." Cynthia said: "I was honest with David. I said I was married and had two children, a boy and a girl, but was separated from my husband and we were going through a marriage annulment. Divorce is illegal in the Philippines.

"My husband had ordered me to go to work in the Middle East and every month I sent back just about all my salary, 20,000 pesos (£300), to pay for him and the children.

"But he never told me what he did with the money and it was clear our marriage was not going to work.

"We talked about annulling our marriage and he even sent me an email saying he wanted the annulment to get done as soon as possible."

The couple's first face-to-face meeting took place last February at Manila's Ninoy Aquino International airport, as she flew in from the Middle East and David flew in from London. "Shortly after I met Cynthia, I knew our relationship was going to work," said David.

"We had a wonderful time in the mountains of Luzon near an extinct volcano at a place called Laguna, but after six weeks I had to rush home when I heard my father was dying.

"But we had already agreed we would both save our money to pay for the annulment and plan our own marriage. Then, out of the blue, Cynthia rang crying to say she was pregnant. I said: 'Why are you crying? That is great news.'

"I was as happy as the happiest expectant dad. I told her to get on with the annulment."

Cynthia said: "My husband agreed on the grounds of 'psychological incapacity', the only grounds for annulment in the Philippines. He even said he wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible."

But then in September at a matrimonial court in Manila, where Cynthia was due to give evidence, lawyers from her husband suddenly withdrew from the case.

"They were preparing charges against me," said Cynthia.

Unknown to the couple, Noriel had discovered a photograph of Cynthia and David they had posted on a website similar to Facebook.

Enraged, he then began proceedings to have them arrested for adultery.

David said: "I rushed out in November with all my savings to be with Cynthia for the last part of her pregnancy.

"Everything seemed to be going wrong but I wanted to be there with my wife when my baby was born.

"Our real nightmare began on December 30 when police and immigration officials raided the house I had rented in the suburb of Caloocan. It was about 10pm and there were all these people outside shouting.

"There were local police, immigration officials and officers of the National Bureau of Investigation, their version of the FBI. We were taken along to the local police station and thrown into a cell. They said they were charging us with adultery and Cynthia's husband was demanding £7,000 in compensation.

"The cell was not big enough to lie down in, so we sat there hunched for three nights and four days.

"It was crawling with cockroaches and other insects, stank of urine and there was my girlfriend eight months pregnant and in great discomfort.

"They wanted to separate us, so we had to pay 500 pesos, about £8, each night to different officers to allow us to be together.

"Every night, though, a different policeman would take it in turns outside our cell flicking the light on and off. We pretended to be asleep.

"They took us out during the day to question Cynthia and get my details and fingerprints. They let us wash from a bucket; Cynthia's relatives brought us soap and toothpaste.

"Eventually, on the fourth day, a lawyer came on the recommendation of the British Embassy, who got us bail.

"The bail was about 12,000 pesos each - £150. But we had to pay 100,000 pesos, £1,250, to somebody under the table to actually get the bail."

The couple were ordered to appear in court on April 12 to hear their fate.

Since then, they have been on the run, fearing that Cynthia's husband was trying to get their bail revoked.

They have moved from shack to rented room in the squalor of suburban Manila as they desperately try to find a solution to their problems.

David's savings have long since run out and the couple are now surviving on charity from friends and family.

Yesterday, David's distraught mother sent her son £100, without which he says they would not be able to afford food.

He said: "We have changed our address twice. I rarely go out. I am the only European here, so if I go out, I stand out like a sore thumb.

"I sit and watch from the window. We have received messages that the police are looking for us, so I am always looking out of the window."

When their daughter was born, the couple's difficult circumstances clouded what was supposed to be a joyful occasion.

"We could not go to one of the big hospitals as they pass on their records quickly to the authorities. Instead, we had to go to a small clinic where Cynthia was the only in-patient.

"It was a harrowing time. Janina was born two weeks early by caesarean section on January 17 and weighed just over 6lb.

"She had an irregular heartbeat which caused us days of worrying. In addition, Cynthia lost so much blood after the operation that she had to have a transfusion. Thankfully, due to the generosity and kindness of some very good-hearted Filipino people, we have been looked after very well since Janina's birth and she is now doing just fine.

"But all our money has gone, to lawyers, to police, to hospital bills and on living expenses. My mum rang me today to say she has just sent me £100.

"That's so unfair. It's me who should be looking after my mum. She is 62 and disabled and gets very little in the way of pension. She has been scraping round friends and relatives.

"I hope one day I can tell my daughter Janina of this nightmare, of what her mum and I went through. But if the full course of Philippines law is followed, Cynthia and I will be in jail and Delfino will have my daughter.

"We have begged the embassy for help. I thought the child of a British father had the right to British citizenship. But the embassy official allocated to my case is Filipino and just quotes Filipino law at me, saying it's not my child."

At this point Cynthia began to cry, saying: "Sometimes I just want to give up fighting.

"I feel so depressed. Let them take me to jail. I have done nothing to be ashamed of. I love David and our daughter."

David's mother Ann has received a letter from Anne Snelgrove, Labour MPfor South Swindon who has promised her 'full support'.

The MP said: "The Nationality Directorate says that the child will automatically have British nationality if David is named on the birth certificate as the child's father."

But she added: "Until this case is settled in the Philippines under their law, there is little we can do to progress the matter."

By that time David and Cynthia expect to be in jail.

Philippines lawyer and women's and children's rights activist Katrina Legarda warned: "I have to tell you the worst first. David Scott is in great danger if he stays here. The fact that he has a baby proves the adultery.

"The baby is not legally his. A child born in a marriage is considered legitimate to the marriage only.

"Legally the baby belongs to her Filipino husband. Frankly put, he does not have a child. He should go home."

Ms Legarda continued: "As it stands, it seems the only way out is for David to pay the husband. No matter how bad the husband might be, even if the couple are separated, the law still applies.

"I know this sounds unfair but this is the law and whenever we try to change it there is an outcry from the religious groups.

"This should not really be happening. We tried over 20 years ago to introduce a divorce law, but those who supported it were condemned in the pulpits of Catholic churches all over the country as people who would go to Hell.

"For David and Cynthia, and others like them, it is a very sad situation."

A Foreign Office spokesman said: "We are aware of the case and are providing consular assistance to Mr Scott and his family, but cannot comment further due to data protection."
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Postby Winston » Sat Sep 20, 2008 12:13 pm

Gosh what a horrible sad story. Isn't there some public fund where people can send donations to help them? This is obviously unfair and I don't understand why the officials of both countries don't help them. They did nothing wrong and the only laws they've broken are stupid religious ones. Unfortunately, there is no separation of church and state in the Philippines, so the laws are made by the church, not according to reason or justice.

And greedy scums like that ex-husband don't deserve anybody's time of day, especially the law's. He is merely trying to take advantage of a situation. He is pure scum and evil, the type that the world is better off without.

I wish this made news in the Philippines, so the public could go against such evil people, and help bring that sociopathic ex-husband down.
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Postby Raja » Sun Sep 21, 2008 12:14 pm

WWu777 wrote:Gosh what a horrible sad story. Isn't there some public fund where people can send donations to help them? This is obviously unfair and I don't understand why the officials of both countries don't help them. They did nothing wrong and the only laws they've broken are stupid religious ones. Unfortunately, there is no separation of church and state in the Philippines, so the laws are made by the church, not according to reason or justice.

And greedy scums like that ex-husband don't deserve anybody's time of day, especially the law's. He is merely trying to take advantage of a situation. He is pure scum and evil, the type that the world is better off without.

I wish this made news in the Philippines, so the public could go against such evil people, and help bring that sociopathic ex-husband down.

But it did make the news. The public was against the outsider for taking another man's wife. If the other man was a pinoy things may have been different from a public relations standpoint.

The Brit bribed a guard and escaped. He made it to Singapore along with his girlfriend and child when I lost track of the story. As I recall it the Foriegn Office was still at a loss of what to do since she can't get annuled yet is the mom of a British citizen.
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Postby Winston » Sun Sep 21, 2008 3:02 pm

Raja wrote:
WWu777 wrote:Gosh what a horrible sad story. Isn't there some public fund where people can send donations to help them? This is obviously unfair and I don't understand why the officials of both countries don't help them. They did nothing wrong and the only laws they've broken are stupid religious ones. Unfortunately, there is no separation of church and state in the Philippines, so the laws are made by the church, not according to reason or justice.

And greedy scums like that ex-husband don't deserve anybody's time of day, especially the law's. He is merely trying to take advantage of a situation. He is pure scum and evil, the type that the world is better off without.

I wish this made news in the Philippines, so the public could go against such evil people, and help bring that sociopathic ex-husband down.

But it did make the news. The public was against the outsider for taking another man's wife. If the other man was a pinoy things may have been different from a public relations standpoint.

The Brit bribed a guard and escaped. He made it to Singapore along with his girlfriend and child when I lost track of the story. As I recall it the Foriegn Office was still at a loss of what to do since she can't get annuled yet is the mom of a British citizen.


W: Then isn't it the Catholic Church's fault for not allowing the divorce which could have prevented all this? Why do they let the church interfere in people's lives? It's not logical.

Why doesn't the Catholic church there allow divorce? It allows divorce in America. That's cruel. People change and make mistakes when they get into marriage. They shouldn't have to live with it for life. That's inhumane and illogical. What does the church have to gain from pissing people off? It's illogical.

I wish people would start analyzing their beliefs and not believe something just cause they are Catholics and must obey all church rules. So far, no one I know here in the Philippines questions their religious beliefs or tries to research the real history of the Catholic Church. How can people here be so unthinking? Does it ever cross their minds that maybe everything they believe could be wrong?

So they made it to Singapore? How? On a ship? How did they get past the customs? Did people in Britain help and donate to them?
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Postby Raja » Mon Sep 22, 2008 12:46 pm

Like I said I lost track of the story. They bribed their way past the prison guards and immigration to get out.

The British people like Americans mostly see the pinay as a "mail order bride" type and the men as the sad sack not good enough to get a woman at home. Besides being shocked at a citizen being jailed for adultary when everyother pinoy with a job has a kabit and illegitimate children they really didn't really want to support him.

It isn't the Catholic Church that's fault. They teach no divorce worldwide. It is the Philippines government as elected by the people who refuse to pass legislation allowing divorce. As far as I know the only states without divorce are Malta and the Republic of the Philippines. And in the Philippines because they have enough guns Muslims and women who marry Muslim men under sharia law may divorce.

Edit to add
I asked around to jar my memory. It seems it was Thailand, not Singapore they escaped to the bribed immgration at the airport so she also got out without her CFO sticker. My friend lost track at that point. It seems that if the DNA test turned up positive the UK would let the couple in and divorce her under British law. She just can't return home or face charges of bigamy on top of the other charges.
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Re: Why Men Cheat: My Explanations and Analogies

Postby wraith » Wed Oct 08, 2008 4:28 am

The thing is, when two or more girls show some interest in me, and I'm still single, I don't know who my heart lies with. So, for me, it's a tough decision. How can you be committed to one person when your heart is split between two? For me, i guess that that's the only reason I would cheat on a girl whom I care just as equally as the girl I'm cheating with.

I wonder if there is a day men could say, 'Screw this! I'll date both of you! (only because I could never leave the ones I love)'
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The 2 girl thing

Postby Shokkers » Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:12 am

That's what burns me the most...

Say you like heavy metal and horror movies. You meet two girls; they're both hot. One loves metal, but can't stand horror movies & refuses to see them. The other loves horror movies, but can't stand heavy metal and won't listen to it.

They're both great girls in all other respects; you feel the same amount of attraction for both of them.

Yet, somehow, for whatever stupid, archaic, unwritten law, it is "wrong" for you to like both of them and to have two ongoing relationships. You're supposed to 'choose' between them. (This is the cliched plot of half of all romantic comedies).

I just think...f**k it, Hugh Hefner never needed to 'choose', why should I have to?

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