I actually had a date last light... in Ontario??

[Fantome Slashwrist]

That blows my mind as that don't normally happen to me.

I met my date at the mall and she was a good looking woman 40.
She was tall and dressed in more loose fitting clothes, which I thought
was nice to see. We sat and talked at the food court in a mall for
an hour and a half, then went to an event called Fort Fright.
http://www.fortfright.com

After touring that, we talked a bit in the parking lot and she said she
would like to meet again and that we could start out as friends.
She treated me well the whole date.

I indicated to her during the evening that I was happy with her
and liked her. I indicated to her that I was happy and satisfied that
she be herself as she had said she could'nt be herself when she
was with her ex and she was'nt even sure about what herself was
anymore.

I replied that I thought we had the same pace and I did'nt want to
have my ad on fish anymore and I would be happy to be around her.

I don't know what will happen next. The good news is I did'nt receive
any Dear: John letters as of yet, but it's only the next morning.

Often a woman will be nice on a date and not confront the guy that
she is not really interested in him in case that he get's mad or
argues or something. I've had that happen in the past to me,
I hear no news, then ask and hear bad news that they're not
interested, but really that bad news could be good news depending
on who the woman really is.

The way I got this date was to let my date pick the time, date,
and everything. To let her decide and bring forth what she wanted.
I had indicated to her over the few weeks of corresponding that
I liked her also and I gave her praise.

[Grunt]

40 years old? Thats WAY beyond a western females "pull by date".

[Fantome Slashwrist]

She was able to talk on the phone and meet.
That was credible in itself.

That was something most Ontario women can't do, at least with me.
At least the one's on fish..and around.

[Grunt]

Its a damn shame when men are reduced to dating 40 year old females, and actually think its an accomplishment of note as opposed to an abysmal reflection of our societal condition.

You have my pity.

[DiscoPro_Joe]

Its a damn shame when men are reduced to dating 40 year old females,

I disagree. I'm 30 years old, and my age range is 23-47. Generally speaking, women in their 40's tend to be more self-confident, candid, and wise, which to me is very sexy.

[Grunt]

Im 39, my wife is 29. I would think that is a more equitable balance.

[jtest28]

I wish you good luck. But I can't stand for a woman to say, "Oh, lets be friends at first, yada yada". To me its a put down. Sort of like women view it as a put down when a man rejects their sexual advances. Because lets face it, a relationship between male and female is a unique thing in itself. It IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING FRIENDS. So for a woman to even use that word on me, leads me to believe;
A: She has no interest in a relationship (Though, later on think nothing of wanting you to f**k her, if it's convenient for her, or
B: She is playing a slight mind game on you by making you think you have less capability to be her man than what you really do. So either way, personally, I would go hang out with her, then get her all hot and horny, then when she tries the first move, say, "No, we are just friends", then I would leave her alone She may tell her friends about it, which there are many women who will now want to "try" you next. Give them all the same treatment, "We are friends".

[Fantome Slashwrist]

I noticed from fish , that she removed me from her favorites list
and she gave me no reply to any e mails I sent to her after meeting.

She has'nt blocked me from sending an e mail to her on fish yet, and has read what I wrote and did'nt make them "unread deleted" yet.

In receiving no replies, I hav'nt received any negative replies either.
I would rather hear, "f off and die", then no reply at all. No reply could just mean, not even interested enough to reply. I find that women in my area do like to give the silent treatment if they are not interested and give the silent treatment if they don't want to totally cast a guy away, but stll get some ego boost from him writing and trying.

I'm 42 myself, so I don't have a problem meeting a woman 40.
I have been given the illusion of rejection by women in their 50s before.

I agree, being told by a woman that we're, "friends" is more towards the negative and is a friendly let down. It's a verdict probably too, still keeping the guy on the string at a distance and not having him get mad and tell other guys anything bad about the woman either.

I reside in a low enough populated area and I think women are always looking out for their reputation and sometimes don't want to reject directly, thinking that will harm their future chances with other guys and their dating dame.

[Winston]

I heard that one seduction technique is to tell the woman "let's be friends" first BEFORE she does. That way she will feel rejected first and maybe try to prove herself by coming onto you.

I never tried that technique though.

I think it's one of the David DeAngelo crap ones.

I've had the same experience that you describe many times, even with women I had a lot in common with or ones that I wasn't even interested in.

What's odd and doesn't make sense is, how can you be friends if she doesn't even want to see you again or makes excuses not to see you again? Is a "friend" someone who never wants to see you? Usually, a "friend" at least likes to see you once in a while, even if there's no sex. Otherwise, that's not really a "friend" is it? Thus, this is an oxymoron.

[Fantome Slashwrist]

I can see Winston's point about the friends label. Friends talk, write, get together and have good faith in each other.

It seems it could be when the woman tells the man, "Let's be friends.", it could really mean, "Let's not be enemies."...

If the woman wants dump the guy and never wants to speak to him again, she probably considers she has a potential enemy.

[jamesbond]

When a woman says, "let's just be friends" there is no way in hell your ever going to date her or bang her! It means she has no interest in you whatsoever! It's there way of politely turning you down! She really doesn't want to be friends, in reality, she never wants to see or hear from you again!

[Grunt]

All this fuss over a 40 year old western feminist.

Like I said, a sad reflection on the state of affairs in America.

[Winston]

Hey maybe you can send a link to this thread to her plentyoffish account to let her know that she's being talked about, and see how she reacts, just for fun. lol Maybe it'll titillate her narcissistic ego?

What do you have to lose right?

[jtest28]

Yeah, thats a good idea. I'd do it. And if she is reading this now, understand this, women's day is coming. I know right now "Men are a dime-a-dozen", but things change. And when they do, men, even without trying to, or consciously realizing it, will completely neglect women. Its simple law of supply and demand. And in those days men will have their pick, leaving a tremendous number of women to die alone, unless women manage to get polygamy legalized so they can share a husband. From what I have been told, they tried to do this after WWI in England. Most the people trying to legalize it were women. I'm going to laugh my ass off if I live to see something like that. ahhh, poor lonely women. . .

[Fantome Slashwrist]

I think I worry too much over women who already have too many guys on their plate and are looking for more.

I think many women off of dating sites have STD's and are drug addicts and alcoholics and spending addicts.

Many of these women have children, especially the one's in their 30s and 40s. If their ex has left his children and the woman too, something was'nt all that great, especially in Ontario where there are no single women hardly. The guy leaves one woman to face hard times to find another, so I would guess something is wrong for sure.

Any woman can be nice over the computer and over a few hours of a first date. We guys don't know who the heck these women are and only can tell by calling their bluff and from our own experiences.

For the most part these women already have too many guys and are looking for more and are all about the money.