Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


Is it a waste of time to be just friends with a girl?

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Is it a waste of time to be just friends with a girl?

Postby Winston » Mon May 17, 2010 12:42 pm

Hi all,
I have a question I'm curious about. Many macho chauvinist guys I know, such as Brad Sharp who used to be a moderator here, consider it a complete waste of time and degrading to be "just friends" with a girl. In their book, if there's no intimacy, physical contact, or sex with a woman, then she is a waste of time to them.

Many guys I've met are like that.

Do you agree with them?

Is it really not worth it for a male and female to just be friends, even if they have things in common and enjoy each other's company?

Do most guys think like that?

Could it be that deep down, it's sort of an insult for a girl to just like him as a friend, and so every time he goes out with her just as a friend, he feels humiliated and shamed about his manhood? Is that the deeper issue behind this?

As for me, I'm kind of divided on this. I definitely do enjoy the company of girls in general, even if they're just friends. But I won't go out of my way to spend time and money to hang out with a girl who only wants to be friends and nothing more.

What about you guys?
Last edited by Winston on Sat Jul 07, 2012 6:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23612
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm







Postby momopi » Mon May 17, 2010 6:26 pm

It's not realistic to think that every girl you meet/befriend would want to sleep with you. If that makes the guy feel humiliated, then he's got issues.

Is it worth it to befriend someone? Only you can answer that question for yourself. Others don't define what you think a "friend" should or shouldn't be.
Last edited by momopi on Mon May 17, 2010 6:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
momopi
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4711
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:44 am
Location: Orange County, California

Postby Enishi » Mon May 17, 2010 6:40 pm

It's good to have female friends IMO. Sometimes I find that I really do want to talk to a woman or get free hugs and it's good to have female friends for that. Just be VERY careful in the beginning that you aren't befriending her thinking its only for that when you have sexual needs and expectations in your subconscious pulling at you. It's also better if they already have a bf and you're friends with both of them.

And yes, going out of your way to spend time and money to hang out alone with a female friend is a bad idea, better if its in a group.
Enishi
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 345
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:24 pm

Postby Winston » Mon May 17, 2010 6:57 pm

Enishi wrote:It's good to have female friends IMO. Sometimes I find that I really do want to talk to a woman or get free hugs and it's good to have female friends for that. Just be VERY careful in the beginning that you aren't befriending her thinking its only for that when you have sexual needs and expectations in your subconscious pulling at you. It's also better if they already have a bf and you're friends with both of them.

And yes, going out of your way to spend time and money to hang out alone with a female friend is a bad idea, better if its in a group.


Why would you prefer a female friend who has a boyfriend? He can get jealous, and plus that means you can't get too close to her. It's kind of romantic I think for a guy and girl friend to slowly fall in love. That's the ultimate drama. Having a boyfriend is like a barrier to that. Plus I sometimes like flirting with female friends too.

How come many guys, including those in AC, tell me that I'm wasting my time with a girl who just wants to be friends and that if I want a friend, I should just get a dog? I think they consider it ego deflating to hang out with a girl who just wants to be friends.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23612
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby Enishi » Mon May 17, 2010 7:42 pm

Why would you prefer a female friend who has a boyfriend? He can get jealous, and plus that means you can't get too close to her. It's kind of romantic I think for a guy and girl friend to slowly fall in love. That's the ultimate drama. Having a boyfriend is like a barrier to that. Plus I sometimes like flirting with female friends too.


At least in terms of the people I know, the guy will only get jealous if you spend lots of time talking to her and hanging out with her when the guy isn't around. It depends on the people one is friends with though.
Enishi
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 345
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:24 pm

Postby Winston » Wed May 19, 2010 6:05 pm

Enishi wrote:
Why would you prefer a female friend who has a boyfriend? He can get jealous, and plus that means you can't get too close to her. It's kind of romantic I think for a guy and girl friend to slowly fall in love. That's the ultimate drama. Having a boyfriend is like a barrier to that. Plus I sometimes like flirting with female friends too.


At least in terms of the people I know, the guy will only get jealous if you spend lots of time talking to her and hanging out with her when the guy isn't around. It depends on the people one is friends with though.


But why do you prefer female friends with boyfriends? What's the advantage of that? You can't flirt with her then. Wouldn't that suck?

Do you prefer female friends who aren't attractive too?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23612
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby FuzzX » Wed May 19, 2010 7:07 pm

I have a friend from Brazil who is a cute little girl... I met her after meeting my girlfriend and I liked her a lot so I decided to keep her around just as a friend. We have a bunch of common interests though: Video Games, Cards, Board Games and Movies... but man my ex went nuts, called her names and called her phone every 5 or 10 minutes when we were hanging out. I'm not sure about being JUST FRIENDS with anyone else... I mean you can be JUST FRIENDS with your English students...or mild acquaintances but anyone you spend a bunch of time with is bound to become sexual. With women I would say this doesn't apply because women lump guys into the friend zone and never consider them again..
FuzzX
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 186
Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2010 10:59 pm

Postby Winston » Wed May 19, 2010 8:26 pm

FuzzX wrote:I have a friend from Brazil who is a cute little girl... I met her after meeting my girlfriend and I liked her a lot so I decided to keep her around just as a friend. We have a bunch of common interests though: Video Games, Cards, Board Games and Movies... but man my ex went nuts, called her names and called her phone every 5 or 10 minutes when we were hanging out. I'm not sure about being JUST FRIENDS with anyone else... I mean you can be JUST FRIENDS with your English students...or mild acquaintances but anyone you spend a bunch of time with is bound to become sexual. With women I would say this doesn't apply because women lump guys into the friend zone and never consider them again..


Why do you say that anyone you spend too much time with will become sexual, but not women? Are you referring to males? lol

Do you think foreign women do that too? I think it depends on whether you are her type or not. If you are, she can lump you into the friends category but is still viewing you as a potential partner. If not, then the friend zone will be permanent with no reconsideration.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23612
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby samurai_panda » Thu Jul 05, 2012 9:41 am

True love can happen anytime, anywhere.

So what if she has a boyfriend? Her heart can choose to fall in love with anyone she wants.

Love is beautiful. For real.
samurai_panda
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 83
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 9:08 am

Re: Do u think it's a waste of time to be just friends w/a g

Postby PeterAndrewNolan » Thu Jul 05, 2012 10:53 am

You can not be "friends" with a woman. Period.

My best friend, the girl I fell in love with when I was 12, openly supported my ex and deemed it "it is human nature to hurt the one you love"

No..it is WOMENS nature. When I wrote to her to drop her as a friend after 32 years her response was "have a good life"

No woman is EVER the friend of a man. If she looks like she is trying to be your friend then she is lying to you. All she wants is the proceeds of your labour. Period.

If women wanted me to talk about them "better" they would have stepped up to the plate and put my ex on trial and given me the protection of the law that I have claimed these last 4.5 years.
T

They didn't. So I will tell the TRUTH about them.
Feel free to check out my blog:Click ME!
PeterAndrewNolan
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1722
Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:25 am

Postby samurai_panda » Fri Jul 06, 2012 3:36 am

You can not be "friends" with a woman. Period.


You're wrong. You can have beautiful and long-lasting friendships with women.

Your own bitter and jaded experience of burned past relationships have distorted your view.

Happiness is a two-way street. It takes two to tango. I always treat people with respect and kindness so my conscience is clear when I look at myself in the mirror and when I go to bed every night. Being mean and cruel towards others will only lead to more suffering.

Brutal truth isn't the most prudent or effective way. There are better ways of handling things. Your emotions get the best of you. Don't deny it.
samurai_panda
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 83
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 9:08 am

Postby momopi » Fri Jul 06, 2012 7:19 pm

To build a successful reciprocal social network with both genders, you must meet and befriend women who will help you or be of some use to you.
momopi
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4711
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:44 am
Location: Orange County, California

Postby pete98146 » Fri Jul 06, 2012 8:42 pm

It's a waste of time. Here's the famous clip from the movie When Harry Met Sally:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8kpYm-6nuE[/youtube]

If you are a single guy why spend time and the emotional commitment needed to maintain a friendship on a woman that considers you a friend? Hate to be the devil's advocate but isn't it time better spent getting into shape and finding a girlfriend? IF you are successful finding a nice girlfriend and you THEN have time to find a female friend then go for it. But for a single guy, it's first things first. Find a female friend would be very low on the totem pole. Just my two cents worth Winston.
User avatar
pete98146
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1077
Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:31 pm

Postby PeterAndrewNolan » Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:41 pm

samurai_panda wrote:
You're wrong. You can have beautiful and long-lasting friendships with women.

Your own bitter and jaded experience of burned past relationships have distorted your view.


Samurai,
I am not wrong. I am perfect whole and complete just a I am. God makes perfection. You might differentiate between the man and the mans opinion.

Further, on this point my opinion is correct. You can not be friends with a woman. I am not "bitter and jaded" so you can give up telling lies like that.

Your problem is that you would be "bitter and jaded" in my place so you project that on to me. I have never been happier in my life. So when you read what I am writing please do so from the point of view that I have never been happier in my life.

I am very friendly with MANY women now. And I know enough about women to know that you can not be friends with them. The woman I men, whom I thought my friend for 32 years, cured me of that.

When I look back across my life the number of women who have done me a kind turn is VERY few and VERY few kind turns have been done to me by women over my lifetime. Men have done 1000x more kind turns to me across my lifetime.

Men like you simply have not yet understood the true nature of women. That is all.
Feel free to check out my blog:Click ME!
PeterAndrewNolan
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1722
Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:25 am

Postby samurai_panda » Sat Jul 07, 2012 3:21 am

Men like you simply have not yet understood the true nature of women. That is all.


You're wrong again. I know the vindictive and manipulative nature of women. Bad women use and abuse men with no remorse. I have seen it and experienced it myself.

But as a good man, which I strive to be everyday, I forgive those women who used me, hurt me, and betrayed my heart. I forgive them because I don't want to hold hatred in my soul.

Before my mother passed away and joined God, she told me to always be loving and kind towards others even if they are mean to you, even if they harm you. My mother was a kind and gentle lady who never said a bad word about anyone and had so much love to give. During my rageful years of wandering around lost in the fury of my sadness, I realized she was right, that life is beautiful. I am wasting my time and energy if I go on a crusade to take revenge and harm others.

I'd rather die alone and a good man than to be an asshole who mistreats people. I die my own way.
samurai_panda
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 83
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 9:08 am

Next

Return to Dating, Relationships, Foreign Women

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests