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Meeting Women in China

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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Postby chanta76 » Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:02 am

Just scanning the post . I never been to China so have no idea how it's like over there but reading what Winston says that Chinese women are little standoffish and than some body else exploit of getting laid the first day of arrival kind of leaves me speech less.

Is it because the other posters are white western man? And get that special treatment ? Or just luck?
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Postby DCX_10 » Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:07 am

chanta76 wrote:Just scanning the post . I never been to China so have no idea how it's like over there but reading what Winston says that Chinese women are little standoffish and than some body else exploit of getting laid the first day of arrival kind of leaves me speech less.

Is it because the other posters are white western man? And get that special treatment ? Or just luck?


I am not exploiting any of these girls/women. I treat them very well. And no, I am a Chinese, born and raised. I have been in the US for many years so I am also American. Also, since I travel with many American colleagues, I can tell you that there are a lot of white men who don't get laid in China; none, zero. Many find adjusting to a new time zone and a new environment hard enough; it is just common sense. I think the myth is propelled by those who feel somehow inferior to white men.

By the way, it is not just luck. It takes hard work. I spent many many many hours with some of the girls online before ever meeting them. And there are many who I did not even get to meet. There is of course, a luck element. If a girl/woman made up her mind to do something, she will do it, regardless of who you are.
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Postby Winston » Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:10 am

chanta76 wrote:Just scanning the post . I never been to China so have no idea how it's like over there but reading what Winston says that Chinese women are little standoffish and than some body else exploit of getting laid the first day of arrival kind of leaves me speech less.

Is it because the other posters are white western man? And get that special treatment ? Or just luck?


Just a minute. You have something mixed up here. I was complaining about how cold TAIWANESE women were, not women in China. They are very different, from what I've heard and experienced. Taiwanese girls hardly ever write me back, either on DateinAsia or Facebook, and if they do, it's just one or two sentences with no enthusiasm or interest in meeting. Even single moms in Taiwan don't write me.

But the girls in China are totally different. I get a high response rate from them, high enthusiasm, and far more dedication to correspondence. I posted a few letters from them as examples. See here:

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... 0680#70680

As you can see, they are intelligent, fluent in English, and take the time to write long sincere letters. It's a totally different attitude from the Taiwanese girls for sure. You can see it online even without going to Asia.

Btw, look what a Chinese woman I'm corresponding with said when I told her that women in the US hate their femininity and don't even like to dress feminine:

In the US , women don’t wear skirts any more? So strange! Here in China , a great number of women wear skirts, dresses and even miniskirts. They like to beautify themselves to be outstanding. Hehe…I think every person loves beauty. What is the difference among them is the way they show they love beauty. So, how do you indicate that you love beauty?
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Postby Winston » Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:14 am

Sushiman and DCX_10,

Wait a minute. How could you be having so many girls on the same trip who are all marriage crazed? If each one of them wants marriage, then how do you juggle them? Don't you have to deceive them into thinking that you want marriage too? Or at least make excuses as to why you don't want to commit now?

How do you juggle this without deception? Come on now. Seriously. I don't see a way you can logically do this without deception of some kind. Can you explain?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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Postby sushiman » Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:37 am

It's hard work!

First of all, as the other guy mentions, months of emailing before the trip filtering out the lame ones and focusing on the good ones.

Juggling is a full time job, I was exhausted coming back home. Had 12 good numbers going in but only chose 6. So I had the other 6 constantly emailing/calling. Of the six good ones lots of funny situations, wake up with one, lunch with a second, dinner with a third. That night the first or the fourth is knocking on the door while you are busy with the third. In the morning a note slipped under the door from the fifth who somehow got by hotel security! Argh how to keep it all straight!

No deception is the easiest policy. Just tell them what your after. I was looking to know good Chinese girls, understand culture, language, food, and absolutely wife hunting. All 100% true, but I have standards and don't settle for the first one. Then they know the score, and most find it attractive, the ones that don't can leave.
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Women in China

Postby ethan_sg » Tue Mar 20, 2012 1:49 pm

As is well known throughout this site, the situations in lots of countries is ironically the opposite of what the mainstream media portrays.

In China the media's emphasis is always on how there are so many more men than women and how difficult it is to find a wife.

In reality this is an oversimplification of the situation.

Picture this. There are 1.3 billion people in China but the middle class consists only about 10%-15% of this 1.3 billion. The precise range depends on your definition of 'middle class', but to get a good gauge, the average (mean, not median) annual income there is just over 3000 USD a year. Yes there may be more men than women overall but this difference is stark only in the rural areas where the majority of women have migrated to the cities in the hope of joining the middle class.

Therefore the reality of the situation is that in the cities there are tons of women from both urban and poorer rural backgrounds vying for the attention of a relatively small proportion of middle class men! Furthermore many men are far more particular about a girl's appearance than they are about her social background. This means that even if a girl is from a rural background, as long as she's reasonably decent looking, she is virtually competing for the same pool of middle class men as her middle class-counterparts!

I will concede that some middle-class males may only consider marrying females who are at least middle class but this is the exception rather than the rule, as many men in China prefer to 'marry down' just as many women prefer to 'marry up'. Furthermore it is commonly understood that many men would pick a beautiful woman from a poor background over a plain to ugly looking woman from a middle class background. There is even the school of thought that women from rural backgrounds hold more traditional family values and make better wives.

On the contrary, few middle class females in China or anywhere else would be likely to consider males from a lower-class/rural background to be of marriage material. When you consider that 700 million of the 1.3 billion people in China are still considered from rural backgrounds while only about 150 million are considered middle class, you get a much better picture of why the odds are so much more in your favor if you qualify as a middle class male compared to if you were a 'mere' middle class male in America or even developed Asian countries like Japan, Korea, Singapore or Taiwan where women are generally looking for multi-millionaire Tom Cruises.

As a foreigner in China, you are almost certainly at least middle class. Even ESL teachers generally get paid much more than the median income. Therefore the supply&demand ratio is actually far in favor of males in China, so as long as you qualify as middle class or above, which most foreigners do.

At the same time, I don't want to oversimplify the entire situation to be merely one of 'dating or marriage economics' where everything is a matter of supply or demand within your specific market according to your relative financial standing. In line with the general theme of this site, I do believe it's true that relationships or even marriage with women from less developed countries like China is not merely more feasible and desirable because of the economic advantage you would hold from being from a wealthier country, but that women from less developed countries tend to be less sucked in the soulless industrial feminist individualistic and materialistic culture that pervades developed countries. Therefore even putting aside the factor of economic advantages, women from less developed countries tend to make much better girlfriends and wives because of their superior, less corrupted and tarnished personalities, in and of themselves.

This is to ensure that the issue is not perceived as merely one of economic relativism, but an absolutist one, one which enlightens us on the very real differences between life in socially healthy and connected societies and communities that you see in less developed countries as compared to the socially dysfunctional, individualistic, 'corporate' societies you see in America and many other developed countries. It is therefore not just for economic reasons that women from less developed countries are more viable partners, because such a simplistic belief would discredit one of the fundamental themes of this entire site.
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Re: Women in China

Postby davewe » Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:45 pm

ethan_sg wrote:As is well known throughout this site, the situations in lots of countries is ironically the opposite of what the mainstream media portrays.

In China the media's emphasis is always on how there are so many more men than women and how difficult it is to find a wife.

In reality this is an oversimplification of the situation.

Picture this. There are 1.3 billion people in China but the middle class consists only about 10%-15% of this 1.3 billion. The precise range depends on your definition of 'middle class', but to get a good gauge, the average (mean, not median) annual income there is just over 3000 USD a year. Yes there may be more men than women overall but this difference is stark only in the rural areas where the majority of women have migrated to the cities in the hope of joining the middle class.

Therefore the reality of the situation is that in the cities there are tons of women from both urban and poorer rural backgrounds vying for the attention of a relatively small proportion of middle class men! Furthermore many men are far more particular about a girl's appearance than they are about her social background. This means that even if a girl is from a rural background, as long as she's reasonably decent looking, she is virtually competing for the same pool of middle class men as her middle class-counterparts!

I will concede that some middle-class males may only consider marrying females who are at least middle class but this is the exception rather than the rule, as many men in China prefer to 'marry down' just as many women prefer to 'marry up'. Furthermore it is commonly understood that many men would pick a beautiful woman from a poor background over a plain to ugly looking woman from a middle class background. There is even the school of thought that women from rural backgrounds hold more traditional family values and make better wives.

On the contrary, few middle class females in China or anywhere else would be likely to consider males from a lower-class/rural background to be of marriage material. When you consider that 700 million of the 1.3 billion people in China are still considered from rural backgrounds while only about 150 million are considered middle class, you get a much better picture of why the odds are so much more in your favor if you qualify as a middle class male compared to if you were a 'mere' middle class male in America or even developed Asian countries like Japan, Korea, Singapore or Taiwan where women are generally looking for multi-millionaire Tom Cruises.

As a foreigner in China, you are almost certainly at least middle class. Even ESL teachers generally get paid much more than the median income. Therefore the supply&demand ratio is actually far in favor of males in China, so as long as you qualify as middle class or above, which most foreigners do.

At the same time, I don't want to oversimplify the entire situation to be merely one of 'dating or marriage economics' where everything is a matter of supply or demand within your specific market according to your relative financial standing. In line with the general theme of this site, I do believe it's true that relationships or even marriage with women from less developed countries like China is not merely more feasible and desirable because of the economic advantage you would hold from being from a wealthier country, but that women from less developed countries tend to be less sucked in the soulless industrial feminist individualistic and materialistic culture that pervades developed countries. Therefore even putting aside the factor of economic advantages, women from less developed countries tend to make much better girlfriends and wives because of their superior, less corrupted and tarnished personalities, in and of themselves.

This is to ensure that the issue is not perceived as merely one of economic relativism, but an absolutist one, one which enlightens us on the very real differences between life in socially healthy and connected societies and communities that you see in less developed countries as compared to the socially dysfunctional, individualistic, 'corporate' societies you see in America and many other developed countries. It is therefore not just for economic reasons that women from less developed countries are more viable partners, because such a simplistic belief would discredit one of the fundamental themes of this entire site.


Great analysys of not just the situation in China but in many developing nations. Women wish to move upward and it's simplistic to just think that is only money; it's also class and social standing. As a Westerner you will almost by definition be more economically and socially higher than the majority of people there. It's a powerful drawing card.
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Postby chanta76 » Wed Mar 21, 2012 3:06 am

DCX_10,

What web-site did you use to correspond with these girls? Do you have to use Chinese to communicate with them?
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Postby DCX_10 » Wed Mar 21, 2012 5:38 pm

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Postby chanta76 » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:10 am

That sucks for me since I don't speak any Chinese nor really use QQ.

How about you WInston? Which site did you use to contact the Chinese ladies.? Was it a foreign affair ?

Speaking of which I'm not a big fan of foreign affair. I did try out their dating site but if you want to correspond with a lady you have to pay each letter to write one they do that because of the translation. I did write to a Chinese woman on foreign affair and use the services that foriegn affair offered.
I wanted to write directly to the Chinese woman but her English was poor.

So Winston the question is. Is it the translator that the Chinese woman use and it appears that her English is so good? If it is ..it's little bit of a scam. I mean dating sites that uses translator and charges per letter do it because they want to make the money.


Very different from let say blossoms or any of those cupids sites.
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Meeting Women in China

Postby ethan_sg » Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:18 am

I seriously recommend you guys take up some basic Chinese lessons either before or just after moving to China, if you're really planning to live there for a while and interact with a larger pool of women.

Basic conversational Chinese isn't that hard to learn if you put your heart into it. The vast majority of girls in China don't speak much English and if you limit yourself to the ones that do, you're often limiting yourself to the ones who are more westernized and less likely to hold traditional family values (not to say that every Chinese girl who speaks good English is this way, it's just a general tendency on average).

Also, an increasing number of foreigners in China are able to speak basic Chinese and being a foreigner that speaks Chinese there earns you far more attention and respect. Being a foreigner who is able to speak some Chinese and practicing it with the locals is always a great way to start a conversation with Chinese girls since many are immediately impressed and amused by the fact that you can speak their language.

Most cab drivers and waiters/waitresses in China don't speak a word of English, so learning basic Chinese will really help you get by in China.

All in all China's a great place to meet women though. They're not just beautiful but approachable, friendly, feminine and far less tarnished by Western material and feminist values than their counterparts in the likes of Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, Singapore, Taiwan.

Not just to meet women though, China's also a real great place to travel around and seek adventure. There are literally hundreds of cities in China, the amount of domestic travel you would be able to do there is endless. This is why many 'laowais' (foreigners) who go there to become ESL teachers and are able to speak Chinese never want to leave. Short working hours and an inclusive social environment? Sure beats corporate wage slavery in a developed country anytime.
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Postby DCX_10 » Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:24 am

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Last edited by DCX_10 on Mon Aug 13, 2012 4:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Winston » Sun Mar 25, 2012 11:54 am

Last night I was talking to a Chinese woman I met from AFA on QQ audio voice chat. She told me that a normal Chinese woman would never pose in a sexy bikini like this Ukrainian woman did in her AFA profile, which she found on AFA's site:

http://women.happierabroad.com/invar/se ... e=4_Polina

She also said that 10 years ago, it was actually an insult to call a Chinese woman "sexy" because you would be implying that she was a bad girl. But now, they are more liberal with that word. Wow I didn't know that China was that conservative up until recently. lol

When I showed her my friend Walt Goodridge's blog in China, she was amused by it and remarked how open and friendly Walt was with strangers in his photos. When I asked her about racism in China, she told me that Chinese girls are actually pretty friendly and open with black guys, and that the Chinese guys are the ones who are more racist toward them, though she doesn't know why. Well, lol, I guess since we go there for the girls, it doesn't really matter if the guys there don't like us. lol I'm pretty surprised that Chinese women seem pretty open minded.

Btw, Walt's China blog is now hosted on Wordpress, and there is an alternate version for people in China (since Wordpress is blocked in China) as well as a Chinese version. You can access all three versions at this portal to it: http://www.jamaicaninchina.com

She also told me that in the photo of Walt with the ladies in traditional costumes, the ladies are not wearing traditional Chinese attire, although she isn't sure what culture it's from. I told her, "Well the average foreigner isn't going to know the difference." lol

Image

One endearing thing about Chinese women is that whenever I talk to them on the phone or by QQ and it's late at night, they always tell me not to stay up too late because it's bad for health. They always like to emphasize that. It must be their classic Chinese wisdom. lol. But it's endearing that they make sure you take heed of that.

I told her I might try to show her picture from AFA on the AFA show that I will be on on April 5, just for fun. She said she wouldn't mind it. As you can see, she's very beautiful. :) She's also a college professor and teaches political science, so she's also pretty smart and down to earth too.

ImageImage
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Postby DCX_10 » Sun Mar 25, 2012 1:39 pm

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Postby emh » Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:06 pm

Winston wrote:Last night I was talking to a Chinese woman I met from AFA on QQ audio voice chat. She told me that a normal Chinese woman would never pose in a sexy bikini like this Ukrainian woman did in her AFA profile, which she found on AFA's site:


It's not just a Chinese thing. Lots of Asian women won't wear any kind of bathing suit and go swimming in their clothes instead.

Winston wrote:One endearing thing about Chinese women is that whenever I talk to them on the phone or by QQ and it's late at night, they always tell me not to stay up too late because it's bad for health. They always like to emphasize that. It must be their classic Chinese wisdom. lol. But it's endearing that they make sure you take heed of that.


That sounds better than the Latina women I've dated who could never understand why I wanted to go to bed at a decent hour (i.e., before midnight).
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