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Why do women give bad advice to men about dating?

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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Postby ahardy57 » Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:21 pm

Jackal, I don't mean Christian in name only, I mean an inner conversion. A state of being that the person himself is no longer what he use to be, like bad boy, gang member, etc.
I am interested in finding happiness in a more inclusive culture
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Postby swincor » Mon Dec 06, 2010 7:38 am

ahardy57 wrote:Swincor, you should not color all American women with the same brush. Your mother and sister belong in this same group. As a matter of fact, I do not agree with the feminist agenda. I wait for the day when the pendulum will swing back to the right balance, where a man could be allowed to express his manhood legitimately and a female to express her femininity without feeling less. You shouldn't attack your sympathizers.



Your being a sympathizer does not give you a pass on shooting off your mouth while not using your brain.

Your post (the one I responded to) was nothing more than an exercise in self-absorbed cluelessness and idiocy on your part. And when you deal with men who know better, there really is no excuse for that -- which means you're going to get torn a new one.
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Postby Winston » Mon Dec 06, 2010 8:24 am

Swincor, I already warned you not to make rude unwarranted attacks like that. Calling someone stupid for expressing an honest intelligent opinion is bad and impolite behavior that is uncalled for. You are attacking soeone who did not attack you. One more time and I will suspend your account for a while.

You also bring bad vibes in here when you do that. Next time be more conscientious of your behavior.
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Postby ahardy57 » Mon Dec 06, 2010 10:15 pm

Thank you, Winston.
I am interested in finding happiness in a more inclusive culture
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Postby swincor » Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:54 am

Winston wrote:Swincor, I already warned you not to make rude unwarranted attacks like that. Calling someone stupid for expressing an honest intelligent opinion is bad and impolite behavior that is uncalled for. You are attacking soeone who did not attack you. One more time and I will suspend your account for a while.

You also bring bad vibes in here when you do that. Next time be more conscientious of your behavior.



Calling out some American woman as "stupid" because she behaved as such is only par for the course, as far as I'm concerned. I call it as I see it, and this hardy chick doesn't get any breaks from me, nor should she. So of course, I stand by everything I have said.

OTOH she's got guys like you, whom she will thank publicly for rushing to her defense. After all, you have threatened to punish guys like me for calling her out -- which would then leave her free to shoot off her mouth again.
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Postby Winston » Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:10 pm

Swincor, that's your opinion. If you disagree with something she said, then say so and state why you disagree, in a civilized manner. There's nothing wrong with that. But she did not attack you and so you resorting to personal attacks like that makes this forum a hostile place, which it is not supposed to be. This is not about defending someone. It's about you getting hostile at someone without provocation, which is bad behavior. (and which you've done many times in the past too, thus making you a trouble maker with a rude tongue)

Anyway, that's that. One more time Swincor, and you're gone again. Learn to meditate and be mindful of your behaviors.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby NorthAmericanguy » Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:09 am

ahardy57 wrote:Women give men bad advice on dating because they want to be nice. Or they are saying what they will do without really thinking what the man has to go through to break the ice-barrier. They are not actually putting themselves in your shoes. They are just trying to be helpful and nice, and to smooth things over, and to reassure you.

However, in the real world that does not work. Maybe in simpler societies it may work, but in America and I suspect other countries in the West, this is ineffective advice.

The truth is, getting a girl in the West for a guy is like climbing Mt Everest. The game is wired for the alpha male, the bad boy, the gangster type, or the super rich guy. Getting a quality girl, or a beautiful girl may seem unreachable to the average guy in America.

If you have not been finding success in dating, year after year, you may begin to think something is wrong with you. If you are on here, you already know a lot of the time it may not be your fault, it is because something is wrong in the American social scene.

So what are you going to do about it? For some, leaving this country might solve their problems. Finally, they are appreciated for the good guy they are. But not everyone can leave though, for one reason or another. And some may have to stay here for a while and battle the dragons of the dating world.

America is a large country and there are no real abiding cultures within it, so people are forced to make small communities in order to have some semblance of a social life.

The number one place of community can be within your church. Many churches have groups that meet on Sundays and other days of the week for programs to fulfill particular needs or devoted to certain causes.

Remember now, in other countries, people have cultures where their similarities bind them together on a deeper level of brotherhood. Not so in America. We have many people, but disparate elements, not much in common except superficial hype, plastic smiles, and business meetings where people relate but when it's over the brief 'friendship' ends. We have no real communities in America, except for the Amish and other groups that keep to themselves.

What is a lonely man to do?

Join a church. Enroll in one of their church groups. The church is not going anywhere. It will always be there. Show up, keep showing up. Volunteer, volunteer volunteer. Soon you will begin to see a pattern emerge. The same people are coming every week. If you want a girl friend join a group with lots of girls. At first the particular girl of your choice may not even notice you, but remember she is also getting slights and rejections from the guys she is attracted to. So eventually in the musical chairs of life, things will change when your chance comes. And she looks at you, and sees you with new eyes, you're handsome, why didn't she see that before, you're polite and reliable, you are far better than Tom, who she has been chasing who doesn't even know her name, she begins to see good points about you. She keeps it in her mental records. Meanwhile her biological clock is pushing, and she realizes she may not get anywhere with Tom after all. Besides, the other guy who pursued her at work, Bruce didn't really love her, he was just using her for his vanity. And all those advances he made towards her was just to have sex with her. You are a much better catch, you actually CARE about her.

Women are not invincible, or happier because they have a lot of the pickings.
Actually, they can be very miserable and not able to tell what is troubling them, even though they have guys falling at their feet right and left.
They may still go home alone. Because, YOU did not show up and persist, despite the odds, you gave up, when you could have tried a little longer. If you had pursued long enough, you might have gotten to know her close friends who might actually sympathize with you. And may even see qualities in you that are very admirable and think that there friend might be missing out on a really good guy, so instead of going home and turning on the pity party and giving up on all women, please cry a little bit, if you have to, but show up the next time, be the valiant bachelor that never stops giving.
Another woman might be watching you and thinking, "He is not so bad after all. You know, he is taller than I am, bald is getting popular these days, he can provide even if he just works at Walmart, but he does have a job and has qualities that I can depend on." (And even if you don't have a job, my experience has shown me that there are women out there for you, too.) "You know I actually have grown to like him. He actually goes the extra mile for me. In fact he cares about me, more than anyone else. I am not going to be pretty forever, I have been chasing guys, and they have been chasing me, but they ended up breaking my heart. This guy respects me. He will never break my heart intentionally, why didn't I see that before.

There are not just church groups, but groups for every sports, hobby, pursuits that you have.

Find your niche, make sure there are elegible girls, and make your own little village.



ahardy57, some of the WORSE women can be found in the church. Many church women are mentally/emotionally unstable (they were abused or something), most are DUMB, and whatever is left over are the fat single moms looking for a millionaire husband. They only show up at church because they hope giving tithes and "giving respect to god" will help them.
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Postby NorthAmericanguy » Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:23 am

ahardy57 wrote:Swincor, you should not color all American women with the same brush. Your mother and sister belong in this same group. As a matter of fact, I do not agree with the feminist agenda. I wait for the day when the pendulum will swing back to the right balance, where a man could be allowed to express his manhood legitimately and a female to express her femininity without feeling less. You shouldn't attack your sympathizers.


My mom is the only women who I love, and who I will ever love, and I can tell you that even my mom is crazy.

She too back in the 70's dated and married a "bad boy" and now that she's 56, she still gives off the excuse that she did not know and that it was her dads fault for not teaching her to find the right kind of guy (like that would have helped).
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Postby swincor » Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:58 am

Winston wrote:Swincor, that's your opinion. If you disagree with something she said, then say so and state why you disagree, in a civilized manner. There's nothing wrong with that. But she did not attack you and so you resorting to personal attacks like that makes this forum a hostile place, which it is not supposed to be. This is not about defending someone. It's about you getting hostile at someone without provocation, which is bad behavior. (and which you've done many times in the past too, thus making you a trouble maker with a rude tongue)

Anyway, that's that. One more time Swincor, and you're gone again. Learn to meditate and be mindful of your behaviors.



First, I do not debate women -- that's like an adult debating a child, which is both silly and demeaning if you are a self-respecting man. So you will not see me "disagree with something she said, then say so and state why you disagree, in a civilized manner."

Second, I have a very, very low tolerance for inexcusably clueless behavior, i.e., people who do not bother to listen or read what's already been said in the clearest of terms in the same thread before they start mouthing off. This is precisely the case with this hardy female. You want to talk rude behavior? This is as rude as any that exists IMO. And being among men who know better, she should have known better, and there is no excuse for that, even despite her intellectual limitations as a woman. And that's why I ripped her a new asshole. If more men did this, the high level of bullshit coming out of women would be drastically reduced.
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Postby BellaRuth » Thu Dec 09, 2010 10:50 pm

swincor__ wrote:First, I do not debate women -- that's like an adult debating a child, which is both silly and demeaning if you are a self-respecting man. So you will not see me "disagree with something she said, then say so and state why you disagree, in a civilized manner."


...even despite her intellectual limitations as a woman.


Oh dear. If you want American men to open their eyes to the faults of American women, you are doing the exact sort of thing that will cause them to label you as nothing but a chauvinist who goes abroad to snag subservients.

Unless you don't mind reinforcing this stereotype.
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Postby swincor » Fri Dec 10, 2010 12:05 am

BellaRuth wrote:
swincor__ wrote:First, I do not debate women -- that's like an adult debating a child, which is both silly and demeaning if you are a self-respecting man. So you will not see me "disagree with something she said, then say so and state why you disagree, in a civilized manner."


...even despite her intellectual limitations as a woman.


Oh dear. If you want American men to open their eyes to the faults of American women, you are doing the exact sort of thing that will cause them to label you as nothing but a chauvinist who goes abroad to snag subservients.

Unless you don't mind reinforcing this stereotype.




I'm not looking for men to agree with me. And I certainly don't give a f**k what women think. I seriously doubt the expat movement (such as it is) hinges on anything I say at all. So those men who have already figured out that women in the Anglosphere are generally of poor quality aren't going to particularly care what I say, and will expat regardless.

And for those men who decide they would rather endure the poor quality of Anglo women than be labeled a chauvinist, that's fine with me too.

For my part, subservience (or submissiveness) in women hasn't caused me any trouble at all, and in fact is quite pleasant and comforting. So frankly, it's not a quality that I'm against.

As a matter of fact, submissiveness is tied into femininity more than most women (particularly Anglo/western women) want to admit. After all, women are by nature generally passive, weaker creatures who look to men to lead, guide, protect, and discipline them -- in a nutshell, to dominate them.

So IMO it would be quite natural to observe in healthy, normal, feminine women behaviors tilting towards the subservient or submissive. Moreover, it would be consistent with the natural order of things, which feminists are trying desperately and futilely to overturn.
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Postby BellaRuth » Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:32 pm

swincor__ wrote:I'm not looking for men to agree with me. And I certainly don't give a f**k what women think. I seriously doubt the expat movement (such as it is) hinges on anything I say at all. So those men who have already figured out that women in the Anglosphere are generally of poor quality aren't going to particularly care what I say, and will expat regardless.

And for those men who decide they would rather endure the poor quality of Anglo women than be labeled a chauvinist, that's fine with me too.

For my part, subservience (or submissiveness) in women hasn't caused me any trouble at all, and in fact is quite pleasant and comforting. So frankly, it's not a quality that I'm against.

As a matter of fact, submissiveness is tied into femininity more than most women (particularly Anglo/western women) want to admit. After all, women are by nature generally passive, weaker creatures who look to men to lead, guide, protect, and discipline them -- in a nutshell, to dominate them.

So IMO it would be quite natural to observe in healthy, normal, feminine women behaviors tilting towards the subservient or submissive. Moreover, it would be consistent with the natural order of things, which feminists are trying desperately and futilely to overturn.


Haha, what can I say to that? Brilliant reply.
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