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I find foreign women less and less appealing.

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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I find foreign women less and less appealing.

Postby yatterman1 » Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:12 am

Now I live in the united states and have never gotten a woman or even kissed a girl....but the more I read this forum the LESS appealing I find foreign women.

I keep reading posts on here about how foreign women like to rip off 1st world men and marry them just for a green card. I read about how filipina women often expect you to not only provide for them but also for their entire family....brothers sisters cousins and all. I read about how chinese women will right off the bat ask you what your occupation is to gauge how wealthy you are because wealth is the most important thing to them. I read about how a lot of foreign women will wait until they marry you and then nag you to relocate back to whatever 1st world country you live in so they can get a green card.
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Postby wuxi » Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:44 am

Its easy to become discouraged and bitter about women living in the US, its the worst place on the planet for meeting women. You need to be aware of this so you don't paint yourself into a psychological corner filled with hopelessness and despair.

Your chances of having a successful relationship are infinitely better with foreign women than western women despite all the bad stories you hear. It is true that at least 95% of foreign women can't be trusted, you need to focus your attention on the 5% that can be trusted. It usually obvious when you've met a good one, all of there attention will be focused on you and they will ask for nothing. Also, there usually reserved and very respectful of you. Theres not many women in world like this so you need to meet a lot of ladies before you find a good one, this will take effort on your part.

No matter how average you look and how poor you and how boring you may be, asian women will find you very attractive. You can be a complete failure with western woman(this is a good thing) and still reach cult status the moment you step off the plane in asia(China, Philippines, Thailand). Finding a reliable boyfriend is very difficult for many asian women just as finding a reliable girlfriend is for most western men.
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Postby The_Adventurer » Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:07 am

Keep in mind that despite all the stories you may have read, we are all still out here going for foreign women. Also note that people on the net have a tendency to rant and post about the bad stuff. People who have found their gem and are happy, are probably off enjoying their relationship and not posting on the internet. I know my American friend, married to a great an beautiful young girl in the Philippines, certainly doesn't spend time on forums writing about how great it is. He is enjoying his life out there.

Also note that the bad ones usually show their true colors in short order. A little patience and you will not get burned. It should also be said that a filipina expecting you to take care of her family doesn't mean she is bad. If she works, that is exactly what she will do with her money. If she marries, and thus stops working, she expects the husband to do the same, and it is only fair that he does. And it is not like you need an excessive amount of money to do so. I have spent more in one night out in L.A. than it would take to support a girls family for a couple of months. If they can do it for $100 a month, you can do the same.
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Postby yatterman1 » Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:58 am

Terrence wrote:Keep in mind that despite all the stories you may have read, we are all still out here going for foreign women. Also note that people on the net have a tendency to rant and post about the bad stuff. People who have found their gem and are happy, are probably off enjoying their relationship and not posting on the internet. I know my American friend, married to a great an beautiful young girl in the Philippines, certainly doesn't spend time on forums writing about how great it is. He is enjoying his life out there.

Also note that the bad ones usually show their true colors in short order. A little patience and you will not get burned. It should also be said that a filipina expecting you to take care of her family doesn't mean she is bad. If she works, that is exactly what she will do with her money. If she marries, and thus stops working, she expects the husband to do the same, and it is only fair that he does. And it is not like you need an excessive amount of money to do so. I have spent more in one night out in L.A. than it would take to support a girls family for a couple of months. If they can do it for $100 a month, you can do the same.


If a girl expects her boyfriend to support her AND her whole family.....she is using him. Sorry but I don't see how that is REMOTELY fair. Also I just don't have the money to do this as I have no job so I guess I would never get anything in Asia LOL.

You know...after lurking here for a while I have come to a conclusion about most of you. Don't be offended but it seems to me from everything I have read here that most of you had very little to no success in whatever 1st world country you guys live in (USA, canada, western europe, australia, etc.). So then you guys went to the poor parts of Asia where women are willing to date you but ONLY TO USE YOU. So you guys had two options:

1) live in the west where women want nothing to do with you at all
2) live in SE asia (or china) where women just want to use you for money

You guys picked option two under the "its better than nothing" logic almost all men seem to follow when it comes to dating. Then you guys try to rationalize your choice.
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Postby MrPeabody » Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:05 am

One of the problems of going for foreign women is that you are always the gringo outsider. For example, if your sample of women is limited to English language dating sites then you are getting a highly selected sample of women not representative of the entire country, and they will have an agenda. If you move to the country, then your chances of meeting a sincere woman naturally improves depending on the extent to which you learn the language and integrate. The American companies selling tours and other products make it sound way too easy. It isn’t.

The OP started out asking a good question, but then, for some reason reverted to a Dr. Phil routine which everyone here has heard before.
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Postby NorthAmericanguy » Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:34 am

yatterman1 wrote:
Terrence wrote:Keep in mind that despite all the stories you may have read, we are all still out here going for foreign women. Also note that people on the net have a tendency to rant and post about the bad stuff. People who have found their gem and are happy, are probably off enjoying their relationship and not posting on the internet. I know my American friend, married to a great an beautiful young girl in the Philippines, certainly doesn't spend time on forums writing about how great it is. He is enjoying his life out there.

Also note that the bad ones usually show their true colors in short order. A little patience and you will not get burned. It should also be said that a filipina expecting you to take care of her family doesn't mean she is bad. If she works, that is exactly what she will do with her money. If she marries, and thus stops working, she expects the husband to do the same, and it is only fair that he does. And it is not like you need an excessive amount of money to do so. I have spent more in one night out in L.A. than it would take to support a girls family for a couple of months. If they can do it for $100 a month, you can do the same.


If a girl expects her boyfriend to support her AND her whole family.....she is using him. Sorry but I don't see how that is REMOTELY fair. Also I just don't have the money to do this as I have no job so I guess I would never get anything in Asia LOL.

You know...after lurking here for a while I have come to a conclusion about most of you. Don't be offended but it seems to me from everything I have read here that most of you had very little to no success in whatever 1st world country you guys live in (USA, canada, western europe, australia, etc.). So then you guys went to the poor parts of Asia where women are willing to date you but ONLY TO USE YOU. So you guys had two options:

1) live in the west where women want nothing to do with you at all
2) live in SE asia (or china) where women just want to use you for money

You guys picked option two under the "its better than nothing" logic almost all men seem to follow when it comes to dating. Then you guys try to rationalize your choice.


*** I smell a woman***^^^


ANYHOW, I'm 6'1 @ 200lbs, I'm an athlete, and I have a good looking face and I really don't have a problem attracting girls regardless if I have money or not. In fact, women approach/contact ME.

The problem for me however, and many other guys here in the states, is that good self respecting men like myself can't find a QUALITY woman!!!! It has nothing to do with success, and the lack of it.


Quality as in:

• Knows how to cook
• knows how to clean
• Has good personal hygiene
• Is not overly tattooed
• Is in good standing with her parents and LOVES and RESPECTS her dad
• Is thrifty
• Has no STD's
• Is not overweight
• Has no kids
• Has no credit card/student loan debt
• Has outstanding work ethic that is verifiable
• Does not smoke
• Does not drink excessively
• Reads books and can have an intelligent conversation
• Is sweet and kind
• Dresses in a reserved and respectful manor
• Has not had any abortions
• Respects men and has a healthy attitude towards men
• Is not sick or has any health problems in anyway
• Works out regularly
• Is mentally and emotionally stable
• Has a job even if it's making herself useful around her parents home


And I could go on! You see, this list is a description of what a high quality woman would look like. Women like this are ULTRA rare as the US does not have the hard rugged environment to cultivate women like this anymore.






•
Last edited by NorthAmericanguy on Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby zzzz » Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:34 am

Yatterman1 you almost seem to be making things up in order to distance yourself from women. I find it superbly ironic that for someone who says they have never even kissed a women to be questioning success of others with women! People are much more prone to post negatives on any subject on the net. Even if foreign women try to scam you it is usually done so laughingly bad that you can see right through it, so it never works. In economic terms supporting a family in say the Philippines can be very affordable, many girls just give their family a small fraction of their income, not even $100 a month. Also there are a wide variety of foreign women and cultures to choose from. I think Asian women are more likely to want support for their family. Do you think you'll find a Western women for cheaper?

The main reason for me is not that I can't get women here, but that it is so much easier abroad and the women are different. Many guys feel like rockstars abroad at times since their success with women is so great. To be similarly successful in the West you'd have to be a literal rockstar.
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Postby The_Adventurer » Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:50 am

yatterman1 wrote:If a girl expects her boyfriend to support her AND her whole family.....she is using him. Sorry but I don't see how that is REMOTELY fair. Also I just don't have the money to do this as I have no job so I guess I would never get anything in Asia LOL.


I call it fair if the girl is working to support her family, which many good girls will be, and she gives up that job to be with the boyfriend or husband. It's only right that the husband should provide the support she no longer can. The husband is welcome to let her keep working, if he doesn't mind her working 12 hour shifts with only 2 days off per month.

yatterman1 wrote:You know...after lurking here for a while I have come to a conclusion about most of you. Don't be offended but it seems to me from everything I have read here that most of you had very little to no success in whatever 1st world country you guys live in (USA, canada, western europe, australia, etc.). So then you guys went to the poor parts of Asia where women are willing to date you but ONLY TO USE YOU. So you guys had two options:

1) live in the west where women want nothing to do with you at all
2) live in SE asia (or china) where women just want to use you for money

You guys picked option two under the "its better than nothing" logic almost all men seem to follow when it comes to dating. Then you guys try to rationalize your choice.


Sorry, but you're way off there. My first trip abroad was to Japan. Tokyo is a more expensive place to live than any city I came from. Girls there didn't need anything from me financially, yet I did 10X better than I ever did in the US.

In Korea, I stayed with my girlfriend and her family when I couldn't afford a place of my own. They owned a restaurant and certainly didn't need my money.

My girlfriend in the Philippines supported me for a time when my web business wasn't doing so hot. Neither she nor her family, usually, needed my help. When we moved in together, though, she stopped working. When by business took off, you think I was sore about helping out financially when the need arose? The amounts they need to solve their problems are minuscule by western standards.

The thing is, I didn't meet any of these girls on any website, catering to desperate western dudes. I speak Japanese, I learned a bit of Korean, I tried to get into Visayan. I met them out there in the real world.

Does this mean I dismiss dating sites? Not at all. I have had good results that way too. My American friend is married to a great, religious girl he met on DIA (That's how I found out about it) . Does he help out her family when the need arises? Yes. Even I have helped her mother out, but generally, her mother is an extremely capable business woman, and quite independent, and, except in extreme cases, doesn't need, and often won't even ask, for help from anyone.

Also you make the mistake of assuming we want anything to do with US or whatever western women. I started dating Japanese girls in College. There was no turning back after that.
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Postby globetrotter » Thu Dec 02, 2010 7:03 am

yatterman1 wrote:
Terrence wrote:Keep in mind that despite all the stories you may have read, we are all still out here going for foreign women. Also note that people on the net have a tendency to rant and post about the bad stuff. People who have found their gem and are happy, are probably off enjoying their relationship and not posting on the internet. I know my American friend, married to a great an beautiful young girl in the Philippines, certainly doesn't spend time on forums writing about how great it is. He is enjoying his life out there.

Also note that the bad ones usually show their true colors in short order. A little patience and you will not get burned. It should also be said that a filipina expecting you to take care of her family doesn't mean she is bad. If she works, that is exactly what she will do with her money. If she marries, and thus stops working, she expects the husband to do the same, and it is only fair that he does. And it is not like you need an excessive amount of money to do so. I have spent more in one night out in L.A. than it would take to support a girls family for a couple of months. If they can do it for $100 a month, you can do the same.


If a girl expects her boyfriend to support her AND her whole family.....she is using him. Sorry but I don't see how that is REMOTELY fair. Also I just don't have the money to do this as I have no job so I guess I would never get anything in Asia LOL.

You know...after lurking here for a while I have come to a conclusion about most of you. Don't be offended but it seems to me from everything I have read here that most of you had very little to no success in whatever 1st world country you guys live in (USA, canada, western europe, australia, etc.). So then you guys went to the poor parts of Asia where women are willing to date you but ONLY TO USE YOU. So you guys had two options:

1) live in the west where women want nothing to do with you at all
2) live in SE asia (or china) where women just want to use you for money

You guys picked option two under the "its better than nothing" logic almost all men seem to follow when it comes to dating. Then you guys try to rationalize your choice.


You want fried ice. You want women to not be women. This does not exist on this planet. That you want fried ice also strongly suggests that you are female.

Women are still going to behave a certain way even when you remove the feminist mindset.

They are going to behave like women. This will not change.

If you don't want to play as the rules are currently written, then give up and do something else with your life.

Don't be offended but it seems to me from everything I have read here that most of you had very little to no success in whatever 1st world country you guys live in (USA, canada, western europe, australia, etc.).


Ahhahaahahahaha! So wrong it's tragic.

Dude, if only you knew...
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Postby Winston » Thu Dec 02, 2010 7:13 am

yatterman, you are focusing on the negative and making excuses not to go overseas. If you want to stay in your situation and be miserable, that's your choice.

Sure there are scammers and users out there. But that problem can be overcome. These are not insurmountable obstacles. There are many good foreign women too. You run into both kinds and work with both kinds. That's life. What did you expect?

Plus some here such as Terrence do well in rich Asian countries like Japan, not only in poor countries.

The bottom line is that the positives about foreign women outweigh the negatives. That makes it WORTH IT.

You don't have to give in to women trying to use you. You can and use them back. But you don't have to. Not all foreign women use you. So why are you trying to paint it that way? You are only remembering the bad and not the good.

Yatterman, if you went abroad and dated foreign women, you would not regret it. Then you'd see and understand. You gotta get out of the cave of shadows and into the light (per Plato's cave analogy). Or you can sit there and make excuses.

The fact that 99.9 percent of American men who date abroad say it's MUCH BETTER should tell you a lot! Use your common sense!
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Postby Mr S » Thu Dec 02, 2010 10:11 am

Most women are a pain in the ass to deal with anywhere in the world, it's the nature of their being. They are supposed to have opposite characteristics from males and this is natures way of bringing us together. The problem in Western countries is the line between male and female has been blurred and this is why Anglo-westernized women are generally difficult to deal with. Foreign women from 2nd and 3rd world countries are still much easier to deal with because they are still feminine and wish to play the female role in a relationship, many still NEED a man to be whole in their life. Men in rich, western countries are an afterthought for women in the anglosphere nowadays and only are useful if they think they can bleed them dry getting married to them and then divorcing them and ruining them for life. Men have little rights in America when it comes to family life anymore, so it's better to remain a single male in America. If you want a REAL family life, move overseas and find a women who is interested in being a real mother.

I didn't have issues dating in America when I was there, the problem is the quality of women that are available. Most are either over weight, have bad habits like smoking, aren't really that attractive or don't like to dress feminine, many have serious emotional or mental issues and try to conceal them from you until you have been with them for a while. I dated a cool Kenyan chick for a while that had moved to the states, but over time her personality slowly changed and we grew apart due to feminist ideas and other subtle influences affecting her personality. I eventually discovered she was on all these psychotropic drugs that her doctor subscribed to her for depression and whatnot. There are far too many people being medicated in the United States rather than facing their problems directly and overcoming them. These medicines are ruining America. Another example would be my sister, she is in her mid-30's and still attractive but she is a pain in the ass to deal with and she still can't figure out why she can't find a BF! The average women in America is so out-of-this-world in regards to their perceived reality, it's a no brainer why many guys would rather play video games in their parents basement and masturbate to porn on the internet then date the average American!

The previous list summed up a majority of the issues we men deal with in America. I just don't want to settle just to get laid on a regular basis, and this is what most American guys end up doing cause it's such a pain in the ass to go through the dating routine unless you live in a large city with a wider selection of women to choose from. IF you are in a small city or rural area, your pretty much f***ed. Best to just save your money and travel overseas than waste it on trying to date ugly, f***ed up women.

Even though I bitch about Filipina's on here a lot, they are still 100% easier to deal with than a typical American women. If you don't want to have a Filipina who gives money to her family then you can find ones who don't or you can lay down the rules before you get serious. There are so many available women here, you can find anything you want here for the most part. For myself, I prefer intellectual, independent, serious style women and those are rare here in the Philippines unless you hang out at University of Philippines, Ateneo, or De Lasalle University those are the 3 top ones in the country. The girls you find in the clubs or bars are usually lower educated, flakes or gold diggers and you can pretty much expect to find those types in any country you go to if you are going to be doing the nightlife thing.

Plus being a western foreigner who is independent overseas is like being a rockstar in America, you get plenty of attention just being different from the norm there. You will be able to date and be with women you could not normally get with in the states, especially if you have some income and play around with your money. You will notice you will always have a stream of datable women overseas flocking to your door. For the first few years of living in the Philippines I literally collected dozens upon dozens of numbers from different women and got laid whenever I wanted to, sometimes had two or three different women at different times of the day. Living in a major city overseas in a halfway decent condo or apartment in a good location will do wonders for your social life and help get you a lot of experience with women in and outside the bedroom. I don't do that now because I have to work much more now than previously, but I make way more money each month as well as take of my daughter part-time, but I assume down the road I'll be able to experience a playboy lifestyle once again if I maintain a decent income and look halfway decent when I get into my 40's.

Girls don't ask you how old you are, they ask how young you are in this country. However, I still haven't figured out when you are considered old. I'm 36 and I would be over-the-hill with younger women in the states but in the Philippines I am still considered young and a "macho looking guy" to most girls. I get hit on so much in department stores I get seriously annoyed. Store clerks will literally follow me around and try to start up stupid conversations just to chat with me. I feel like a hot blonde woman trying to go shopping in the men's part of a department store! Even though I have toned down my nightlife I still find ways to hook up with various women and get laid. Hooking up and getting laid in the Philippines is the easy part, finding someone you want to have sex with a second or third time is the problem! (what a problem to have, eh?) :lol:

I laugh at all you guys still stuck in America complaining about it and not doing anything to actually LEAVE for good! There's a treasure trove of info on this site to show you how to leave within 6 months to a year if you really wanted to. it took me about 9 months to finally leave the states once I had set my mind to it.

Also, if you had never been with a girl, or even gotten laid the best way to get over that is to go to Thailand or Philippines and get with bar girls. They won't think your weird and will rather think its cute your shy or inexperienced and they will help you along in the bedroom. They don't cost much n comparison to trying to date in the states and pretend you've gotten laid so you don't look like an idiot in your 20's or god forbid 30's! Before you know it, you will be a pro in the bedroom. That's how I got over all my shyness issues with women, being in the navy in my late teens and early 20's and going to Thailand really helped me learn how to kiss, chat, flirt and bang women in different ways. Back in the old days many fathers brought their sons to whore houses when they came of age just to get them used to a girl and not be an idiot around them. I think that would be a great 16th birthday gift from father to son, getting laid by a hot prostitute! It can still be arranged in Asia... Soapy massages are great for that in Thailand. Asian men still act like men, even though they are portrayed by hollywood as geeks or losers often, unless they know martial arts and even then if they are paired with a black or white guy they are usually not as lucky with the ladies in the scripts. America has lost its masculine identity due to radical feminism and the outward gay movement. BTW, they have f**k massage places in Philippines too, but they are called Athletic clubs for some reason, weird name. You will find most of them near Filipino/Japanese/Korean style girly bars and clubs, mainly in Quezon city, Manila/Malate and Makati areas.

Just for God's sake don't fall in love with them because it's your first f**k and they treat you nice....geez, even the pros fall for the whims of these hot bar girls; they can be like a dream girl to the inexperienced, don't get conned with your emotions and little head, use the big one!
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Postby Rock » Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:16 pm

yatterman1 wrote:
Terrence wrote:Keep in mind that despite all the stories you may have read, we are all still out here going for foreign women. Also note that people on the net have a tendency to rant and post about the bad stuff. People who have found their gem and are happy, are probably off enjoying their relationship and not posting on the internet. I know my American friend, married to a great an beautiful young girl in the Philippines, certainly doesn't spend time on forums writing about how great it is. He is enjoying his life out there.

Also note that the bad ones usually show their true colors in short order. A little patience and you will not get burned. It should also be said that a filipina expecting you to take care of her family doesn't mean she is bad. If she works, that is exactly what she will do with her money. If she marries, and thus stops working, she expects the husband to do the same, and it is only fair that he does. And it is not like you need an excessive amount of money to do so. I have spent more in one night out in L.A. than it would take to support a girls family for a couple of months. If they can do it for $100 a month, you can do the same.


If a girl expects her boyfriend to support her AND her whole family.....she is using him. Sorry but I don't see how that is REMOTELY fair. Also I just don't have the money to do this as I have no job so I guess I would never get anything in Asia LOL.

You know...after lurking here for a while I have come to a conclusion about most of you. Don't be offended but it seems to me from everything I have read here that most of you had very little to no success in whatever 1st world country you guys live in (USA, canada, western europe, australia, etc.). So then you guys went to the poor parts of Asia where women are willing to date you but ONLY TO USE YOU. So you guys had two options:

1) live in the west where women want nothing to do with you at all
2) live in SE asia (or china) where women just want to use you for money

You guys picked option two under the "its better than nothing" logic almost all men seem to follow when it comes to dating. Then you guys try to rationalize your choice.


Yatterman, I've only read this far. Before I even look at other responses below, I'm gonna say that I TEND TO AGREE WITH WHAT YOU WROTE ABOVE. But there is still a sweet spot that you can go for.

From what you've said about yourself before, you sound like a poor guy who also happens to be YOUNG as in a 20 something, not outta school too long. You are also a native speaker of English. Assuming you are an average (or even somewhat below) looking westerner, normal height and body type range (you know, nothing extreme), you can find countries where a significant percentage of girls who will gladly date you but absolutely NOT TRY TO USE YOU FOR SUPPORT. In Taipei, I've known a lot of cases either directly or through third parties where women would support boyfriends from poorer areas like Africa, India, Nepal, and even Turkey. Some relatively poor English teachers date richer women who are a few years older. I knew a sexy Taiwanese girl who 'lent' her Argentinian lover NT$800,000 (around US$26,000). Now those cases are extreme. But its quite normal for a girl who dates English teacher types to have very low expectations as in often taking turns treating for date expenses, etc. Her family will never ask you for anything either. And English can be your tool to make a living until you work your way to something better.

Besides Taiwan, you can consider medium income countries with nice looking girls, and demand for English teachers. Brazil has become fairly expensive but if you can swing a teaching post there, you would have a good chance of finding regular girls who didn't expect financial support. Perhaps some you could find something in Eastern Europe where you would have great odds as well. What you gotta understand is that as a young foreigner, you have a fighting chance with many of the beautiful sincere locals (the ones who are not connected with questionable marriage agencies, looking for sugar daddies, gold diggers, etc.), especially if you ramp up your relevant language skills and localize to some extent. Even in a country like Thailand, I believe you could find a decent girl who didn't expect support. One of my European friends met a similar aged (mid 20s) Thai girl several years ago in Bangkok and they've been married around 3 years now. He's totally broke. However, there is a dowry system there which will prolly cost you something if you ever marry. I'm not sure how my poor European friend got around that.

IMO, poor countries tend to be better suited to P4P, guys who are much older, guys who have more extreme physical issues, etc. Don't waste your youth dating the same girls that your grandpa can get. I believe many medium income countries offer a very attractive dating and social life options to qualified (in country, local skills, etc.) younger guys from the States who get absolutely zero from American girls.
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Postby aozora13 » Fri Dec 03, 2010 12:38 am

I was actually wondering about that too. I was wondering if I should try middle income countries where it is somewhat similar to first world in infrastructure but the women are easier to talk too.
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Postby Truthville » Fri Dec 03, 2010 1:41 am

ahh Yaterman?

The concept of supporting relatives, especially older relatives, is a part of Asian culture. It was the same here UNTIL Social Security came into existence. You see Yaterman, most undeveloped countries ie:Phillipines/Thailand/Cambodia etc.............. have no social safety nets at all!

Also Asian countries, in my mind, have more of a "group" social dynamic than most western countries, which have a "individual" dynamic. Family is VERY important ot them, just like it used to be here.

Try telling a non-westerner about how we put our elderly relatives in "Nursing Homes", and watch the look of disdain and disgust on their face.

No offence, but you might try actually researching and learning about different cultures, instead of trying to look at them with your jaded "The West is the Best" eyes. You might actually learn something!

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Postby Winston » Fri Dec 03, 2010 2:03 am

Truthville wrote:ahh Yaterman?

The concept of supporting relatives, especially older relatives, is a part of Asian culture. It was the same here UNTIL Social Security came into existence. You see Yaterman, most undeveloped countries ie:Phillipines/Thailand/Cambodia etc.............. have no social safety nets at all!

Also Asian countries, in my mind, have more of a "group" social dynamic than most western countries, which have a "individual" dynamic. Family is VERY important ot them, just like it used to be here.

Try telling a non-westerner about how we put our elderly relatives in "Nursing Homes", and watch the look of disdain and disgust on their face.

No offence, but you might try actually researching and learning about different cultures, instead of trying to look at them with your jaded "The West is the Best" eyes. You might actually learn something!

TruthVille


That's all fine and dandy. But the point is, it's not right to attempt to force or pressure a foreign boyfriend to support ANOTHER family, without any regard or consideration for HIS needs. Not all Asian countries will do that. Even poor Taiwanese families will not try to pressure a foreigner into supporting them. It's not part of the culture, and people would feel too shameful to do that. On the other hand, Filipinas NEVER ask me "Is this too expensive for you" no matter what, EVER. Chinese girls will do that, cause they are more considerate and conscientious about wasting money, but Filipinas NEVER. Thus there is a shamelessness in Filipinas that isn't true of women in all Asian countries. Of course, Filipinas are more fun, easy going, relaxed and less judgmental, but also simple and clueless as well.

There's nothing wrong with supporting YOUR family. No one here has a beef with that. It's supporting your girlfriend's family that we have an issue with. Thus no one here is arguing that we should ignore our own families. (Momopi supports his parents, for example, and has mentioned it here I think, but no one here has a problem with it) That's not the issue. The issue was "unfair leeching and pressure" by Filipinas to obligate a foreigner to support her family and not considering his needs.

The Filipino fallacy is to assume that ALL foreigners have extra money that they don't need, and that ALL the cash in his pocket is extra money he doesn't need. That may be true of some foreigners, but it is not true for all. The problem is that poor Filipinos put the expectation on EVERY foreigner to give out free unlimited cash. To us, that is rude, naive and inconsiderate.

We can always say no of course, but that type of constant expectation is annoying, to the point where if we are dating a Filipina, we will not want to visit her family, cause we know what will come out of it.

Rich Filipinos do not give out cash freely, so why should we?

Generosity should be a choice, not an obligation.

When I have extra cash, I usually donate it to people I admire whom I respect and have inspired me in some way. I will support their work with a donation, buying their books, etc. But not to some poor random family just because.

What's rude is that the Filipinas who want us to help their family NEVER EVER consider how it would hurt us financially to give away cash that we later might need. That's what makes it inconsiderate. People in the real world do not give away free cash, not even their own people do. So why should we?
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