I agree.^^Winston wrote:
But nevertheless, your children are YOUR responsibility because you had them, so you have to endure all this for 20 years or more in order to be a proper parent. Once you have them, you are expected to be locked into the monotonous routine of daily life with them, in order to raise them and be there for them.
By the time your kids grow up and move out, you will be old, over the hill, have health problems, be no longer attractive to the opposite sex, and everything will go down from there as you wait to die. In effect, you will have given away the best years of your adult life to raise children. And what will you get for it? A pat on the back from them, and a "thanks for being a good parent", none of which will bring back your lost years.
In that sense, children are the ultimate scam of nature upon parents, albeit a necessary one, for our species cannot continue without them. Thus, Mother Nature has to trick you into feeling empty and incomplete without them, hardwiring it into your DNA. Otherwise you'd never have kids. Technically you will lose a lot but gain nothing from them. It's a totally raw deal for parents, but they must be programmed to want kids, lest the human race become extinct. (unless some future mass artificial insemination becomes the norm, as depicted in scary sci fi films)
And of course, kids will require the stable environment of a home and marriage to raise, which will further tie you down and lock you into a long-term routine in one place, not allowing you to travel or explore as your heart desires. Again, all this compounds to completely remove all freedom from your life, day or night.
So, unless your life is truly empty without children, and you are a very selfless and self-sacrificing person who is willing to give a lot of attention to a child, and you love children so much that you can't live without them, you should consider the consequences above. Otherwise, you will be done for and suffer in misery everyday while you have all your freedom taken away, in exchange for nothing and no ROI (return on investment). It will be the worst thing that's ever happened to you and the BIGGEST MISTAKE of your life! The only way out would be to give up your child for adoption, or become a deadbeat dad. Otherwise, you will face years of regret, and your patience and tolerance will be constantly stretched beyond their limits, all for nothing - no gain, no profit, no reward, no fun, no pleasure, no peace of mind, no intellectual stimulation, etc. except for maybe the love they give you back. If that is fine to you, then more power to you. But when you analyze it logically, it makes no sense and seems like a trick of Mother Nature to perpetuate the species.
Keep in mind that unlike other big life decisions, children CANNOT be undone. You can get a job and quit it. You can marry and divorce. You can get a house and sell it and move. You can quit college and continue later. But you cannot undo children once you have them. So treat this like the most utmost decision in your life!
I know of a 27 year old woman who was a life long friend of mine; she married up the social ladder to well off guy (her wedding cost 40-50k).
Well, a few months ago she had her first baby and I found out from her family that my life long friend and her husband were both were shocked at all the difficulty it takes in raising a child; and because of that they will NOT have another one.
They said they can't do what they want anymore because the baby is always in need of attention and they have no more time to enjoy their lives.
I feel sorry for them because I feel they were scammed into having a baby. The family put pressure on them to have a baby and pop out "grandkids", but what's going on now is that since the novelty of a little baby has worn off and all the pictures are taken, the grandparents have abandoned their role and left the two of them alone to raise the child.
That's not right, somebody should have told them the difficulties in raising a child instead of painting the brush that it's easy. Also, young people should be told the option that it's ok to live child free as an adult.