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What to do against a mind and invisible wall BLOCKING you?!

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Winston
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What to do against a mind and invisible wall BLOCKING you?!

Post by Winston » April 10th, 2014, 4:04 am

I sent this to my dad explaining why I am six months behind on returning to Taiwan. What do you think? How do you fight against your own mind if it's against you? How do you fight against yourself if there are seemingly "two selves" inside you?

What can you do? Fighting your mind is like hell, it's one of the hardest things. If you've never experienced it, you don't understand. How come other people are lucky to be unified in mind, but not me? Geez!

"This is one of the productive things I have to do. I was going to do this three months ago. I was also going to answer your emails 30 days ago and other emails. But everything takes so long and I can't get to anything. Too much shit keeps getting in the way. Too many problems block me.

Then it becomes night and I have to to go sleep again. This repeats for many days. What can I do? Life gives us too many things to do and everything takes long to do. And our time and energy are limited. I need to slow down time but I can't.

My schedule is totally messed up too. I was supposed to leave back in August and September. And I wasted the last two years of my life in places I don't thrive in, and I can't get it back. I am so angry and depressed about it everyday that I want to explode.

If you didn't move the house from Bellingham, I would not be here. I could have been in China last year, instead of being stuck again. Everything in my life is bad luck and bad timing. Every day I'm angry and yelling to God and destiny because of that. You can't imagine the anger and frustration I feel. I feel that demons and bad entities are blocking me and trying to mess me up.

I have a very hard time managing time. My own negative demons in my head keep blocking me with excuses and problems. The mind is very hard to control. There are conflicts inside, as though I have two selves inside me. It's VERY hard to fight with your own mind everyday.

When I'm depressed and angry, I like to get revenge on people. It's a way of venting anger.

I told my aunt I would try to help by doing things my way, using my tricks. But I did not make any promises. She does not think about that incident unless I bring it up. I am merely trying to do justice.

Love,
Winston"
Last edited by Winston on July 8th, 2014, 11:31 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Post by momopi » April 10th, 2014, 5:42 am

We've already gone over this several times. i.e.:
viewtopic.php?p=97098&

My question was why you cannot simply buy a non-refundable plane ticket, and put yourself on the plane.

If you have an updated "to do" list, let's see what can be out-sourced.

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Re: How do you fight against your own mind?! It's so hard!

Post by Bitch_Slapper » April 10th, 2014, 6:38 am

Too much shit keeps getting in the way.
What exactly is getting in your way?
My schedule is totally messed up too.
You've been saying this for at least 4 years now. That's when you first complained about how life sucked for you in Taiwan.

You're always very vague about what's messing up your schedule. I mean, it's not like you have any major responsibilities. You don't have a regular job (and don't need one), and you live rent-free with your parents. Honestly Winston, I really don't understand what you're complaining about.
I could have been in China last year, instead of being stuck again.
You could have been in China back in 2010, when people first suggested this idea to you.
I have a very hard time managing time.
I don't think that's your problem, to be honest. I think your problem is that you're afraid to travel, for some reason. There's no other explanation.
When I'm depressed and angry, I like to get revenge on people. It's a way of venting anger.
That kind of thinking is no good. Highly inadvisable IMO.
I told my aunt I would try to help by doing things my way, using my tricks. But I did not make any promises. She does not think about that incident unless I bring it up. I am merely trying to do justice.
If she doesn't think about the incident, then neither should you. You were not involved, and you're not doing her any favors bringing up an unpleasant memory. That incident is over, and done with. Move on to something more interesting and hopeful.

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Re: How do you fight against your own mind?! It's so hard!

Post by Jester » April 10th, 2014, 7:14 am

Winston wrote:I sent this to my dad explaining why I am six months behind on returning to Taiwan. What do you think? How do you fight against your own mind if it's against you? How do you fight against yourself if there are seemingly "two selves" inside you?

What can you do? Fighting your mind is like hell, it's one of the hardest things. If you've never experienced it, you don't understand. How come other people are lucky to be unified in mind, but not me? Geez!
This is one of the productive things I have to do. I was going to do this three months ago. I was also going to answer your emails 30 days ago and other emails. But everything takes so long and I can't get to anything. Too much shit keeps getting in the way. Too many problems block me.

Then it becomes night and I have to to go sleep again. This repeats for many days. What can I do? Life gives us too many things to do and everything takes long to do. And our time and energy are limited. I need to slow down time but I can't.

My schedule is totally messed up too. I was supposed to leave back in August and September. And I wasted the last two years of my life in places I don't thrive in, and I can't get it back. I am so angry and depressed about it everyday that I want to explode.

If you didn't move the house from Bellingham, I would not be here. I could have been in China last year, instead of being stuck again. Everything in my life is bad luck and bad timing. Every day I'm angry and yelling to God and destiny because of that. You can't imagine the anger and frustration I feel. I feel that demons and bad entities are blocking me and trying to mess me up.

I have a very hard time managing time. My own negative demons in my head keep blocking me with excuses and problems. The mind is very hard to control. There are conflicts inside, as though I have two selves inside me. It's VERY hard to fight with your own mind everyday.

When I'm depressed and angry, I like to get revenge on people. It's a way of venting anger.

I told my aunt I would try to help by doing things my way, using my tricks. But I did not make any promises. She does not think about that incident unless I bring it up. I am merely trying to do justice.

Love,
Winston
It sounds to me like your mind is overactive. I am working on the same thing with an acupuncturist from Hong Kong with EXCELLENT results in 4 visits ( 2 weeks). She has offices here and in Anaheim California (Orange County).

Also I have a sign on my wall: "Take In LESS Information." Generally with modern technology, we are like restaurant patrons trying to finish a dictionary-length menu before allowing ourseves to eat.

At restaurants I have trained myself to pick something immediately without considering all the options elaborately. Scan, make a choice for today, do it.
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."

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Post by starchild5 » April 10th, 2014, 11:17 am

For higher souls....It will be much harder to make a decision in coming times...The "Indecisiveness" has increased....You know there is an issue..90% of world can't even figure out the problem they have....

for example...you can watch last weeks Bing Bang Theory S07E19...where Sheldon goes crazy about choosing between Xbox1 and PS4.....its basically the same...If we dig deeper, higher minds will have difficult time in choosing as the Matrix is getting reversed.....thats just a show, but it has very deep meaning about this force


The Invisible force can manipulate you when you are in the middle and would make your life hell in deciding which way to go even more so now than before....


I'm not sure whats the solution is, this is a completely new beast that humans are been thrown at, even higher souls are finding it difficult to come up with a solution. This is the new weapon they have now, earlier it was HOPE to screw our minds and make us go round in circles.

----------------WARNING*****

Forget about the old tricks you had in your mind to tackle the issues you had in your life...IT WONT WORK....The Matrix has reversed.....The invisible force is up with new tricks...that is why you are facing so much hard time making decisions...

--------------------------------

I'm having hard time making a decision now to go to Philippines even though now I have a good work from home job, but it needs a good internet and Ph net connections sucks and if I don't get a good net, I could loose my job....I have drawn a list of Positives and negative about staying in India, Philippines or Thailand >> Thailand is the new option I forcefully introduced to get an easy decision....

I'm still undecided..If you draw up a list of Positives and negatives...You will end up with a Balance ZERO....Its so nearing perfection....

-------------------------------

If I stay in India, I will be suicidal even with a job, if I go to Philippines I could loose my job...If i go to Thailand....My money wont cover the lifestyle I need plus all girls, nightlife hates Indians......Atleast I have a respite that I have third option that has eased my life a bit

-------------------------------

Don't take your time...TIME WONT SOLVE THIS ISSUE....The more you wait on it, the worse it will get.... Old Tricks wont work...The Invisible force that you know.has changed the game...BE CAREFUL

-------------------------------

You need to introduce a third option...something that will take the force out of TWO equations, your two minds, your two halfs....You need to create a THIRD HALF inside you ......This is not the best solution but will help you keep your sanity and would find you ways to get out...Also, DO NOT fall for Right or Wrong answer,,,,,,,NEVER for RIGHT CHOICES & then regret it cycle.....Those days are long gone....

---------------------------

Sorry, This is what I have so far...I'm also fighting the indecisiveness in my life, I have not gotten out of it to give you a clear answer...however, introducing a third option have eased my life a bit....I'm more confident than before somehow, even though they all offer the same zero balance to me..somehow my mind is taking it well when it has a third option to go with....

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Post by lavezzi » April 10th, 2014, 1:33 pm

Winston, it seems you are unable to delay the drive for instant gratification long enough to bring about the prolonged gratification you really want, creating suffering and conflict. The fundamental problem, though, is you're operating from a feeling of general lack which is rooted in dishonesty within.

If you keep telling yourself "I am an evolved soul and other people are this and that", "this country is full of repressed, boring people and this other country is this and that" etc., you create a dream world inwardly which is accompanied inevitably by strong urges to affirm it's reality through experience outwardly, and great suffering ensues if you find yourself unable to do so. The solution is to come to the point in your life where you start becoming 100% objective and honest about the way things truly are, in the understanding that this is the best and only way to achieve equanimity and happiness. Without inner lies there is no inner disharmony.

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Post by Renata » April 10th, 2014, 8:41 pm

Are you always tired, so tired to the point of zero energy?

Do you fall asleep alot during the day?

Does your body feel lethargic & sluggish?

Are you forgetful?

Do you start task but never finish?

If you answered yes to all or most of the questions, you're sick. If your body isn't functioning properly then your mind won't either & it will affect all aspects of your life. Think of a slow computer. Bad hardware will affect the software. Even if you've got the fastes speed internet & a bad PC your internet will be slow too. Your body is the hardware. Your mind is the software, and your life is like the internet. Can't think, can't upload can't dowload, can't process!

I don't think it's demons or any thing of the sort, your balance & Homeostasis are off. You could have a high level of toxicity in your body interferring with your balance & mental clarity.
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Post by Rock » April 11th, 2014, 6:33 am

Renata wrote:Are you always tired, so tired to the point of zero energy?

Do you fall asleep alot during the day?

Does your body feel lethargic & sluggish?

Are you forgetful?

Do you start task but never finish?

If you answered yes to all or most of the questions, you're sick. If your body isn't functioning properly then your mind won't either & it will affect all aspects of your life. Think of a slow computer. Bad hardware will affect the software. Even if you've got the fastes speed internet & a bad PC your internet will be slow too. Your body is the hardware. Your mind is the software, and your life is like the internet. Can't think, can't upload can't dowload, can't process!

I don't think it's demons or any thing of the sort, your balance & Homeostasis are off. You could have a high level of toxicity in your body interferring with your balance & mental clarity.
So...what would you do if you answered YES to those questions to overcome the problems?

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Post by Winston » April 11th, 2014, 6:42 am

momopi wrote:We've already gone over this several times. i.e.:
viewtopic.php?p=97098&

My question was why you cannot simply buy a non-refundable plane ticket, and put yourself on the plane.

If you have an updated "to do" list, let's see what can be out-sourced.
I'm trying. But I told you, my mind BLOCKS me. Why don't you have a practical solution for that? How do you fight against your own mind if it's split in two? You want to do something, but half of your mind wants to do another? How do you solve that?

You aren't a psychologist, so this might be out of your field.

Your specialty is in practical solutions, but even you do not see everything. My mind and my life are more complex and multi-dimensional than you can imagine. Trust me.

Please don't make the assumption that Atheists do, that everything outside of your knowledge and understanding doesn't exist.

My to do list is so long that it would take too much time and energy to write up. What would be the point? Most of it can't be outsourced and even if it could, it would take up too much additional time. I hold most of the to do list in my memory.

All the new threads I start and posts I do here on the forum were on the to do list as well. Lots of ideas and lots of emails I have to get to. Etc. Stuff gets added everyday to the to do list and I don't have time to write any of it down. I just get to quickly as possible.

I have a sort of OCD with to do lists. I feel anxiety until I get everything done. That's the curse of it.

But again, I've noticed you don't have any solutions to psychological problems. And neither do American psychologists, all they'd do is prescribe medication. This isn't your field. A self-help guru like Walt Goodridge would be better suited to advise on such things.
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Post by Winston » April 11th, 2014, 6:50 am

Renata wrote:Are you always tired, so tired to the point of zero energy?

Do you fall asleep alot during the day?

Does your body feel lethargic & sluggish?

Are you forgetful?

Do you start task but never finish?

If you answered yes to all or most of the questions, you're sick. If your body isn't functioning properly then your mind won't either & it will affect all aspects of your life. Think of a slow computer. Bad hardware will affect the software. Even if you've got the fastes speed internet & a bad PC your internet will be slow too. Your body is the hardware. Your mind is the software, and your life is like the internet. Can't think, can't upload can't dowload, can't process!

I don't think it's demons or any thing of the sort, your balance & Homeostasis are off. You could have a high level of toxicity in your body interferring with your balance & mental clarity.
Sometimes. Yes. But it's mostly due to being out of shape and not getting exercise and to feeling depressed and isolated. My nutrition is ok. I have no major illnesses. Just in bad shape.

I sometimes feel ok and fine, but not 24/7. Everything in life is in cycles, including happiness and depression.

Buddha said that life is suffering, so we are all suffering in some way, even if we don't realize it.

My mind is super active though, too active, as Jester said.

You cannot rule out demons or parasitic entities. They very likely exist. As well as the black goo, or Murphy's Law that Starchild mentioned.

Plus some are more sensitive than others. I happen to be an HSP (highly sensitive person) so I get drained more than others.

More info about HSP's here:

http://www.hsperson.com
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Post by Renata » April 11th, 2014, 10:36 am

Rock wrote:
Renata wrote:Are you always tired, so tired to the point of zero energy?

Do you fall asleep alot during the day?

Does your body feel lethargic & sluggish?

Are you forgetful?

Do you start task but never finish?

If you answered yes to all or most of the questions, you're sick. If your body isn't functioning properly then your mind won't either & it will affect all aspects of your life. Think of a slow computer. Bad hardware will affect the software. Even if you've got the fastes speed internet & a bad PC your internet will be slow too. Your body is the hardware. Your mind is the software, and your life is like the internet. Can't think, can't upload can't dowload, can't process!

I don't think it's demons or any thing of the sort, your balance & Homeostasis are off. You could have a high level of toxicity in your body interferring with your balance & mental clarity.
So...what would you do if you answered YES to those questions to overcome the problems?
I went though this when I was living in the UK. I was really young & take-out & ready meals were so afforable there, that I never cooked, :? as a result I had zero energy, felt sluggish & had no mental clarity. No matter how much I planned or organised it all got messed up.

Detox using Ayuvedic golden milk (tumeric, honey & hot cashew/coconut milk), Ginger tea, Chinese Green tea, Apple cider vineager or fresh squeezed, beet, carrot or celery juice with a bit of ginger. Fresh V8 juices made with a juicer daily wil also help flush out toxins that have built up. Milkshakes dervided from cahsews, coconut milk & other nuts, sweetened with honey or fresh squeezed apple juice are also very healthy & it satisfies cravings & are filling. These recipies will also replenish your system with minerals, vitamins & antioxidants.

Only eat fruits, vegetables, meat, seeds, nuts roots, herbs, spices, legumes. no processed foods as everything packaged & sits on a shelf contains sugar & chemcials which are resonsible for that sluggish feeling. NO SUGAR or ALTERNATIVE SUGARS. Sweeten with raw honey. No beer, alcohol, drugs, cigars, cigarettes, hot dogs, sandwhich meat like salami or hams. No dairy cheeze or animal milk. No bread kinds or pasta kinds.

When I met my husband he was a little bit chubby, not fat. He fell into my lifestyle ate what I ate & had fresh V8 juices everyday. Like cucumber, red cabbage, carrots, celery roots, maca powder, ginger, tomato, with apples or grapes to sweeten. Healthy smoothies & milkshkes.Did the ocaasional detox etc. He's been working out at the gym for years & has kept fit, but as of last year all the fat burned out his BMI changed & now he's totally ripped. This is the first time he has seen his musle mass. We think lots of people work out to no avail because thier bodies can't make the transition due to toxicity. It's almost like a blockage. Like if you put a fast car with turbo & nos in traffic. It's the fastest car but can't go anywhere becuase it's blocked.

Winston, I remember you posting something about geographic locations suiting some people more than others. Maybe you need a chage of scenery. When ever I go the Venezuela I never want to leave but always do. I think that's my spot, where I'm supossed to be. Maybe you're where you are too long. i checked out the HSP link, intersting stuff.
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Post by jamesbond » April 11th, 2014, 12:48 pm

Even these doctors are trying to figure out what's going in your mind Winston. :P

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Post by Winston » April 12th, 2014, 10:00 am

None of you are addressing the question about how you fight against your own mind or deal with a conflicting mind.

Anyway, regarding my to do list, you guys can help me with one item on the list: Finding the mature or adult content on this forum so I can re-submit it to Adsense. Google says it's still on the forum, but I can't find any more. I told you guys about it before but you guys aren't helping. So there.

To help you understand what Google considers mature content, here is the Google Adsense video about it.

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Post by rudder » April 12th, 2014, 2:13 pm

Tell google you removed all the adult content, and that there is a glitch in their system. The burden of proof lies in their hands, so they need to be able to prove to you that there is still adult content. If they cannot show you exactly where this "adult content" is, then there is no reason to believe that their system is accurate.

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Post by xiongmao » April 12th, 2014, 10:21 pm

Just listen to what I've told you on the AdSense thing. I had the same, so f*ck Google, I just replaced their ads with other ads.

Why is this stopping you from going to China/elsewhere?
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