Why has the universe and my mind been BLOCKING me and PARALYZING me since 2012?!

Vent your rants and raves here about whatever makes you mad, angry or frustrated.
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Post by jtest28 »

Thats interesting, Winston, I have been feeling just like what you described and have been for the last few years. It seems there was a time when, look out, I could really get things done AND enjoyed doing them, and even had little or no anxiety in the process. Crap is so different now. . .

I have this feeling like I just cant get situated, but that if i did, I would be fine. Argh
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Post by droid »

I can point to a few things, with all due respect:

1)
The vegan diet. I'm not an expert, but I believe there are nutrients that vegans lack and it shows in their droopy mood and overall health, despite what they claim. I don't advocate for
the American style of devouring 3 pounds of meat a day, that's another extreme. But I usually eat meat once ore twice a week, and chicken once or twice too. There's got to be a balance.

I would venture to say that your over-weight is due to your body requesting more intake, to compensate for the lacking nutrients.


2)
Lack of exercise. And i mean aerobic exercise. I believe this resets all chemical signals in your body/mind, while stagnation throws them out of whack.
You said you like swimming, how often do you do it?


3)
Too many things on the to-do list, compounded with a lack of organization.
I've done that too, but I've opted for dropping things from the list. It's just impossible to do it all.
Simplify, simplify, simplify. The few bills I now have are on auto-pay, etc.
Also, it helps not picking up other people's tasks, especially if they haven't requested it.

Like another poster said, you don't do the 9-5 work schedule, how can you not find the time to do things?
I can only wish I had those extra 8 hours. But pretty soon I will :wink:

I'm not trying to pass as a know-it-all with these points, but they are things I've concluded from my experience.
Last edited by droid on April 12th, 2014, 6:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Post by jtest28 »

Yeah, vegans definitely lack enough unsaturated fat intake, which can be seen by their frailness. Hell, even a little saturated fat would be better than not enough total fat. They forget the grains, which are the source of fats in a vegan diet...
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Post by droid »

Iron is really important too.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Post by Moretorque »

I was at war with myself but it was all for the better, I am the type of guy who is supposed to be a father because I love children but my subconscious mind was shorting my conscience mind out and I could not figure out what was wrong.

Then when I went on the net and learned a back room click was playing a bad joke on all of us and attempting to program us to serve from cradle to grave it all made sense then and my sub mind no longer tripped up my conscience mind.

Yes my Subconscious mind was correct, NO BREEDING HERE!!!!!!
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Post by Winston »

After doing some meditation, I think I've realized something. Two of my major problems are:

1. An overactive mind that keeps looking for something undone or something to do. You see, if you sit down and think about it, you can always think of things you wanted to do last month, last year, 5 years ago, or even 10 years ago, that you never got around to doing. The list of things you can remember wanting to do is endless.

In my case, with my creative mind, I can think of many things undone, from little things to big things, as well as ideas for new articles I wanted to write but didn't get to yet. When it comes to ideas, the list is neverending. A creative deep mind can always come up with new ideas. Sometimes they pop up out of nowhere because our subconscious mind is always at work, even if we aren't aware of it.

And since my mind is very overactive and busy, the above applies especially to me.

2. Feeling of anxiety when there are undone things on the do to list. If I have things to do on my list, I feel a sense of anxiety and restlessness. I can't let it go. I can't practice non-attachment as Buddhism teaches. I've always had a problem letting go in life, especially of the past.

People like me can be trusted to return things I borrow. Because if I don't, I feel anxiety until I return them. But most people borrow things and never return them and feel no anxiety from it. So you should remember to only lend things to people with either good morals and conscience, or people who feel anxiety, like me, when something is undone. There's a free lesson for you. :)

Solution:

Anyway, the only logical solution to my two problems above are:

1. Prioritize my to do list. Do the most important and time sensitive tasks first. Leave the rest, such as personal projects and ideas, for later. If one were working in an office, this is how one would handle the workload, by prioritizing the most important things first, and leaving the rest for later, or delegating them to coworkers. It's the most logical way to handle it.

2. Learn to control my anxiety, and OCD type obsession with perfection, by using relaxation techniques, meditation, and maybe natural or herbal remedies. Practice the art of letting go. Accept the fact that you can't do hundreds of things at once, and learn to let go.

What do you think?
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Post by Renata »

Try having marijuana tea in the morning. Draw it with a clove & a cardamon smashed, then sweeten to taste with coconut milk & honey. Just 1 cup 3 times per week. Or green tea with cammomile & sweeten with coconut milk & honey. These teas are calming. You should really try a good detox, what do you have to loose? Maybe you've got a level of toxicity that's interferring with your mental clarity! Then when you mind becomes tortured due to it's confusion it in turn affects your body negatively. Why not take the challenge to detox, flush & rebuild your body as an experiment & see the outcome 8) Nothing to loose!
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Post by Moretorque »

It's hard not to let your mind get the best of you, just try and relax and enjoy the simple things in life. The simpler the better.

The best things in life are free, for me coming to ease with everything was realizing and getting over the family breeding hump that nature programs you to do.

The love sex thing is the major driver in a males life and can be the biggest trouble as well so as you age it can become a major sigh of relief if you do not make a mess and have a bunch of baggage going on on the down slope of life.
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Post by momopi »

Winston wrote:After doing some meditation, I think I've realized something. Two of my major problems are:
1. An overactive mind that keeps looking for something undone or something to do. You see, if you sit down and think about it, you can always think of things you wanted to do last month, last year, 5 years ago, or even 10 years ago, that you never got around to doing. The list of things you can remember wanting to do is endless.
In my case, with my creative mind, I can think of many things undone, from little things to big things, as well as ideas for new articles I wanted to write but didn't get to yet. When it comes to ideas, the list is neverending. A creative deep mind can always come up with new ideas. Sometimes they pop up out of nowhere because our subconscious mind is always at work, even if we aren't aware of it.
And since my mind is very overactive and busy, the above applies especially to me.
2. Feeling of anxiety when there are undone things on the do to list. If I have things to do on my list, I feel a sense of anxiety and restlessness. I can't let it go. I can't practice non-attachment as Buddhism teaches. I've always had a problem letting go in life, especially of the past.
People like me can be trusted to return things I borrow. Because if I don't, I feel anxiety until I return them. But most people borrow things and never return them and feel no anxiety from it. So you should remember to only lend things to people with either good morals and conscience, or people who feel anxiety, like me, when something is undone. There's a free lesson for you. :)
Solution:
Anyway, the only logical solution to my two problems above are:
1. Prioritize my to do list. Do the most important and time sensitive tasks first. Leave the rest, such as personal projects and ideas, for later. If one were working in an office, this is how one would handle the workload, by prioritizing the most important things first, and leaving the rest for later, or delegating them to coworkers. It's the most logical way to handle it.
2. Learn to control my anxiety, and OCD type obsession with perfection, by using relaxation techniques, meditation, and maybe natural or herbal remedies. Practice the art of letting go. Accept the fact that you can't do hundreds of things at once, and learn to let go.
What do you think?

1. You do not need to be in Vegas to write articles. You can do it anywhere with a notebook and pen.

2. Hypothetically, if you have trouble completing certain tasks in months, there's little difference between staying versus going to China for a month. If you stay in Vegas, it won't get done. If you leave for a month long vacation, at least you got a vacation out of it.

3. The key to controlling your mind is learning how to empty it. Physical activities like shooting sports, archery, fencing, martial arts, yoga, etc. that build muscle memory may help you focus better than chess and meditation.

(Warning: other than licensed shooting/archery ranges, it's generally illegal to discharge BB/pellet guns & arrows/bolts in cities like LV, even in your own backyard.)
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Post by droid »

Winston wrote: 1. Prioritize my to do list. Do the most important and time sensitive tasks first. Leave the rest, such as personal projects and ideas, for later. If one were working in an office, this is how one would handle the workload, by prioritizing the most important things first, and leaving the rest for later, or delegating them to coworkers. It's the most logical way to handle it.
2. Learn to control my anxiety, and OCD type obsession with perfection, by using relaxation techniques, meditation, and maybe natural or herbal remedies. Practice the art of letting go. Accept the fact that you can't do hundreds of things at once, and learn to let go.
What do you think?
You can't leave out exercise. Your mind is tied to your body, no matter how much 'spiritual' we want to be.
Doing a competitive sport or plain swimming for example, will literally disconnect you from current tasks. This is key to avoid a race condition in the mind, which needs variety in order to 'defrag' the different 'sectors'.
In my opinion, sport is the best form of 'meditation' as you focus in the present, taking a break from ruminating the past/future.

I started exercising consistently again since February, in preparation for my move. Seeing your gut disappear helps your mind a lot too, as some sluts are giving me looks now. Not being shallow, as all this is interconnected.
Some anxiety has taken me over a bit in the last few weeks, in anticipation of my trip, panicking a little bit to see my life go by without any dating. My move has taken pretty much priority #1; as moretorque put it,"The love sex thing is the major driver in a males life".
Excuse this messy last paragraph.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Post by momopi »

+1 on swimming, great exercise for the whole body. If you have access to a relatively clean HOA swimming pool, it's preferable to the dirty one at the gym.

Hint: you don't need to be a hotel guest to use the pool at some LV casino resorts:

http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/17 ... s-20130416

Bagatelle Beach, (702) 701-0200. This is adjacent to the Tropicana but has its own private entrance. Bagatelle promises fun in and out of the water. There are two pools and beach activities including a sand volleyball court. Cool off with a custom cocktail such as the pampelmousse, made with Avion tequila and fresh grapefruit and pomegranate juices. It's slated to open May 4; prices aren’t yet set, a rep said but she expected them to be about $20 for women and $30 for men.

Caesars Palace, (702) 731-7110. The Garden of the Gods Pool Oasis is an aquatic playground with eight distinct pools, including the secluded Venus Pool Club at which topless sunbathing is allowed. The pools are open to the public, if space is available, for $20 per person.

Flamingo, (702) 733-3111. The Go Pool is surrounded by 15 acres of tropical foliage (and flamingos too) and features a nonstop party atmosphere and outdoor gaming. Those not staying at a Caesars Entertainment hotel pay a $25 cover charge.

Mandarin Oriental, (702) 590-8888. The pool, on the eighth floor of this five-star hotel, overlooks CityCenter. Non-guests must rent a cabana and prices start at $350 on weekdays and $550 on weekends. Each cabana holds six to eight people, and rental includes a bottle of Moet Ice champagne; a mini-bar stocked with complimentary, non-alcoholic beverages and more. And, if your sunglasses need cleaning, a pool attendant will be happy to help.

The Palazzo, (702) 607-7777. The Azure, a trendy pool with a St. Tropez vibe, features plenty of creature comforts. Guests get fresh fruit, including frozen grapes, and sunscreen application. There’s a $20 cover, but locals get in free.

Rio, (702) 777-7777. The resort’s VooDoo Beach features four pools and outdoor spa treatments (fees apply). Best of all, there’s no admission charge for non-hotel guests.
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Post by Winston »

momopi wrote: 1. You do not need to be in Vegas to write articles. You can do it anywhere with a notebook and pen.

2. Hypothetically, if you have trouble completing certain tasks in months, there's little difference between staying versus going to China for a month. If you stay in Vegas, it won't get done. If you leave for a month long vacation, at least you got a vacation out of it.

3. The key to controlling your mind is learning how to empty it. Physical activities like shooting sports, archery, fencing, martial arts, yoga, etc. that build muscle memory may help you focus better than chess and meditation.

(Warning: other than licensed shooting/archery ranges, it's generally illegal to discharge BB/pellet guns & arrows/bolts in cities like LV, even in your own backyard.)
1 and 2. Yes true. I know. But if I were in China now, I'd be traveling and meeting girls. I would have no time to write. I'd also have to settle in different hotels or hostels everyday too. And I'd be paying everyday for accommodations. I cannot relax and write something under those conditions. Same in the Philippines. Here I can relax and do that though.

3. I'm not into shooting like you are. I like hiking, swimming and martial arts. But it feels lonely doing those things alone. I was going to do them long ago, but everything got f***ed up and mistimed again.
momopi wrote: +1 on swimming, great exercise for the whole body. If you have access to a relatively clean HOA swimming pool, it's preferable to the dirty one at the gym.

Hint: you don't need to be a hotel guest to use the pool at some LV casino resorts:

http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/17 ... s-20130416

Bagatelle Beach, (702) 701-0200. This is adjacent to the Tropicana but has its own private entrance. Bagatelle promises fun in and out of the water. There are two pools and beach activities including a sand volleyball court. Cool off with a custom cocktail such as the pampelmousse, made with Avion tequila and fresh grapefruit and pomegranate juices. It's slated to open May 4; prices aren’t yet set, a rep said but she expected them to be about $20 for women and $30 for men.

Caesars Palace, (702) 731-7110. The Garden of the Gods Pool Oasis is an aquatic playground with eight distinct pools, including the secluded Venus Pool Club at which topless sunbathing is allowed. The pools are open to the public, if space is available, for $20 per person.

Flamingo, (702) 733-3111. The Go Pool is surrounded by 15 acres of tropical foliage (and flamingos too) and features a nonstop party atmosphere and outdoor gaming. Those not staying at a Caesars Entertainment hotel pay a $25 cover charge.

Mandarin Oriental, (702) 590-8888. The pool, on the eighth floor of this five-star hotel, overlooks CityCenter. Non-guests must rent a cabana and prices start at $350 on weekdays and $550 on weekends. Each cabana holds six to eight people, and rental includes a bottle of Moet Ice champagne; a mini-bar stocked with complimentary, non-alcoholic beverages and more. And, if your sunglasses need cleaning, a pool attendant will be happy to help.

The Palazzo, (702) 607-7777. The Azure, a trendy pool with a St. Tropez vibe, features plenty of creature comforts. Guests get fresh fruit, including frozen grapes, and sunscreen application. There’s a $20 cover, but locals get in free.

Rio, (702) 777-7777. The resort’s VooDoo Beach features four pools and outdoor spa treatments (fees apply). Best of all, there’s no admission charge for non-hotel guests.
I know about this. But you are forgetting a few important things that you don't understand about me.

1. Those hotels are on the strip and the strip has very toxic and inauthentic vibes with unfriendly people who are not down to earth at all. The vibe there is 100 percent materialistic and superficial. It doesn't jive with my energy field and aura.

2. When I go out here, I get emotionally drained. Not just from the toxic vibes, but from temptation as well. You see, if I go to a swimming pool and see hot girls, I will be strongly tempted to hit on them and flirt with them, because sexy girls are my prime desire.

Then I will have an internal conflict. I will have to restrain myself from hitting on girls because in America that's considered creepy and inappropriate. Here you are expected to only socialize with your clique, mind your own business, and the only talking to strangers allowed is only for business purposes. Or you can talk to old men, but not to young women.

But if I restrain myself from approaching women, then I will beat myself up over it afterward. You see, I can't just forget about it afterward. For the next 2 or 3 days, my mind will obsess over the missed opportunity. My mind has OCD symptoms, remember? So it can't just forget something. If something goes wrong in my life, or if I fail to approach a girl I like, my mind will beat myself up over it for several days. I won't be able to relax and concentrate afterward.

This happened in Taiwan too. My parents took me swimming several times at a hot spa and pool place. If I see a cute girl, the same conflict results. I want to meet her, but I can't because it feels inappropriate to chat up girls in Taiwan, and I feel like a pedofile for trying too. The vibe there also tells me to mind my own business. Like the USA, there is an underlying assumption that you already have a partner or girlfriend and do not need to meet girls or chat them up. Hence out in public one is supposed to mind one's business. Same as in America.

So again, in Taiwan, I have to restrain myself and resist temptation. But if I do, then I will obsess over the missed opportunity and beat myself up about it afterward for the next few days. My mind won't let it go. Overall, it's a very emotionally draining and nerve-racking experience.

This is why I avoid going out unless I have to. Because once temptation comes my way, I'm in a lose lose situation. And Murphy's Law makes sure that temptation comes my way so that I can suffer from it. Whatever controls Murphy's Law enjoys seeing me suffer it seems. The more I try to avoid temptation, the more it happens. When you fear something, you attract it more. The law of attraction says this as well.

Better to have peace, then to have constant temptation that leads to internal conflict and emotional taxation. This is why I have to shelter myself in countries like USA or Taiwan where I'm not allowed to approach girls.

Remember Momopi, my mind is not as unified as yours and Rock's is. I have OCD problems that you don't have. That's why I'm very cautious and nervous about things going wrong. If something goes wrong, not just with girls, my mind obsesses about it for days. It won't let go. That's why I have to take extra care to shelter myself. As Rock said, my mind is often my own worst enemy. It's true.

But what can I do? If I go to a psychiatrist, as Repatriate suggested, he will give me medication that will make me emotionally numb and take away my sex drive. I took them before as a teen, and that's what happened. I don't understand why Repatriate is so pro-psychiatry. Perhaps he has been helped by them before?

A therapist will just talk to me, same as you guys do, but will not be able to solve anything. Once they know my whole story, they will simply tell me "Well then go abroad if you are happier abroad." So it will be no different than what you guys will suggest. I've gone this route before, so I know.

What about going to a psychic? Well maybe. But you never know what kind of psychic you will get. They are not all the same. Not all are genuine either. Some psychics, even if genuine, may not vibe with me well, thus we will have no energetic rapport.

As you can see, I am more complicated than you can imagine. I'm not simple and practical like you are.

Momopi, try to understand and not oversimplify my situation. Keep the above in mind. Understand that REAL problems in life do not have simple solutions. If they did, they wouldn't be problems. Problems are even worse when they are internal rather than external, in other words, when they come from your own mind. The lesson for you is: Nothing is as simple as you think it is.

I also have a problem called "the invisible wall" phenomenon, which I will elaborate on in the next post.
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Post by Winston »

Can anyone answer the big questions here:

How do you stop your mind from making excuses to block you and delay you?
How do you stop your mind from countermanding your will?

The invisible wall phenomenon

Another big problem I have is that I seem to have some kind of "invisible wall" blocking me too, in addition to the mind making excuses. I don't know if this invisible wall is from God, Satan, the forces of destiny, or from my own mind. Any of you ever experience it too?

Let me tell you a weird and creepy story.

Back in 2004, I had planned to visit a girl in Sochi, Russia that was very sweet to me online and seemed like a real gem and keeper. I was supposed to go there in June that year, when the beaches were high season. But my mind kept blocking me with excuses and stuff undone.

By the time I arrived in Russia it was August. I was supposed to leave Moscow after one week. But every time I tried, something blocked me or got in the way. So I could not leave Moscow for 6 weeks. So my schedule, which was already 2 or 3 months behind, got delayed another 6 weeks. There seemed to be an "invisible wall" blocking me. I hated it and was furious!

After 7 or 8 tries, I finally left Moscow but by then it was almost October. It started becoming cold and gloomy in Russia. All my plans were f***ed. The school I was gonna teach at in Izhevsk rejected me too.

To make things worse, bad things started happening to me. I fell victim to scams, mugging and tricks by even my own friends. (See here: http://www.happierabroad.com/Russian_Scams.htm) More so than I ever had before. As a result of one of the muggings, I developed Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome too.

It seemed that, by breaking this "invisible wall" that kept me in Moscow for 6 weeks, I invoked some kind of curse. It was as if by not obeying the invisible wall, I had upset the order of the universe, or the will of God, and so by stepping out of line, I was being punished for it by bad luck and bad events. Really weird and creepy. WTF?

The weather became colder and gloomier too, and so did the mood of the people around me, all of which rubbed off on me. So I got off to a bad start with too many delays, which zapped my motivation and enthusiasm as well. As usual, everything is wrongly timed and off schedule in my life.

I didn't arrive in Sochi until November. But by then, the beach was too cold. The girl was sweet and a gem after all, but she did not have romantic feelings for me as she thought. I'll never know if it would have made a difference if I had arrived in June instead.

So the entire adventure seemed f***ed up from the start, and then jinxed later on.

I also experienced this invisible wall in the Philippines too. It kept making things happen to delay me getting out of Angeles City for years and months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Likewise, last year when I came to Las Vegas, I planned to visit my beloved Southwest nature and canyons and then go to China by July, August, or September at the latest. But we got busy with moving the house for a month. Then my parents had to leave to get medicine in Taiwan. I don't know why they couldn't just have it mailed to them. Sheesh.

So I toured the Southwest with an old female friend that I was a kindred spirit with. But she had a very hot temper that exploded over trivial things, and was very feisty and prone to anger issues, similar to me. So I could not always enjoy everything, as two people with hot tempers and anger issues is a recipe for disaster at some point. We had fun though. But she could only stay out for two weeks due to classes.

When we returned, I got lazy to go off and travel again on my own. So I got into a comfort zone and enjoyed the peace and solitude of having a house to myself. My mind became lazy and made excuses everyday not to travel again. So I wasted June, July and August. They just flew by quickly.

By September, I was anxious to travel the Southwest again so I could go to China afterward. But stuff kept getting in the way, my mind made excuses again, and again, as in Russia and the Philippines, there was an INVISIBLE WALL again!!!!!!!!!!!!

After many failed attempts to leave Las Vegas in August, September, and October, I finally left in November. But again, as in Russia, it was too late. The weather was TOO COLD to do anything I wanted. National parks and campgrounds were closed. There was a "Closed for Winter" sign everywhere. I could not do what I wanted. It was snowing outside in Utah too. All I could do was stay in hotels, away from the cold, but that was not what I wanted. Everything was f***ed up again!!!!!!!!!!

So again, Murphy's Law applied with this axiom:

- You can't do what you want, and by the time you can, it's too late.
- When you get what you want, it's already too late to enjoy it.

I was f***ing pissed. The trip was f***ed again. And as in Russia, bad things began happening after I broke the invisible wall. Everything was closed, my plans were f***ed, and the NV brothels scammed me with ripoff prices (unlike before).

So as in 2004, my whole schedule was off by several months, and jinxed as well. I also suffered from the extreme cold in November and December. Again, it seemed that by breaking the invisible wall, I had upset the natural order of things and got jinxed and punished again.

Now I am two years behind schedule on going to China. There seems to be an invisible wall blocking me again. As usual, by the time I get there, it will be too late, and jinxes may start to happen again, because I broke the invisible wall and did not obey it.

So WTF is this "invisible wall"? Is it something from my mind? From God? From Satan? From the forces of destiny and karma? And what can you do about it?

I don't know. My only theory is this:

Perhaps if you are very deep, aware and freethinking, nature has to countermand your unique gifts and qualities by giving you a stronger dark side than what normal people have. In other words, the more spiritual and rich you are on the inside, the more internal challenges you will have. The dark side will rise to challenge you more than it would an average person. Your inner demons, complexity, conflicts, issues and dark side will be bigger than that of an average simple person. Nature balances everything out with its opposite to create a "union of opposites" as in the Ying Yang symbol. So if something in the universe increases, its opposite will increase as well.

So perhaps this is why I have bigger demons and dark sides than others do? I don't know. But this is the only metaphysical and Taoist explanation I can think of. Many gifted individuals in history have suffered from a complicated dark side as well. We all know many examples.

Moreover, it could also be that if you are not a conformist and do not follow the herd, then more dark forces and dark entities try to attack you and weaken you as well, because you stand out as an energetic target to them that is vibrating at a different frequency than the mainstream conformist population that is easily controllable. And you are probably more of a threat to them as well.

What can you do? Any of you experience this kind of thing before?

How do you remove curses, jinxes and invisible walls? With white light spells?

I also have a problem of being too easily distracted by too many things and falling into a comfort zone as well. The mind resists change too.

Anyway, I'm exhausted now from anger and frustration. Too bad such problems have no simple solutions or easy answers.
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Post by Mr S »

Modafinil
This is supposed to be a good drug to take for super concentration and brain focus boosting. Maybe you should give it a try, I would if I was in the states.

Info:

http://www.bulletproofexec.com/where-to ... -chime-in/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armodafinil
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Joined: April 21st, 2010, 9:16 am

Post by Rock »

Mr S wrote:Modafinil
This is supposed to be a good drug to take for super concentration and brain focus boosting. Maybe you should give it a try, I would if I was in the states.

Info:

http://www.bulletproofexec.com/where-to ... -chime-in/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armodafinil
It's super expensive in the States if you go through usual channel. U get a doc to give u prescription for narolepsy. It's like $2,000 a 30x200 mg tablet bottle or $230-600 for generic equivalent (Costco pharmacy has the best deal).

But, with some willpower, you can still find ways to order from companies in India online and get it for like $120 including shipping for 120x200 mg tablets.

Does it work? It affects different people differently. It can have side effects on some. And tolerance can be developed. But the guy you linked (Dave Asprey) claimed that it did him well for several years in school though he's not taking it now. But he may be just a gifted human.
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