Why does western society breed so many assholes?

[mattyman]

Couldn't help but post this out of the blue, but anyway, this is an issue related to the social culture.

This is something that gets on my nerves that I had dealings with after going out last night in my local town (which I haven't done in a long time). One thing that annoys me about my area, well really UK-wide, but is especially bad in my area, is that the average guy is bragging, puffed-up, tries to one-up others, tries to make themselves look hard, tough and aggressive, is cocky, sarcastic, full-of-themselves and irritating. They feel that they have to be competitive or have to prove something. You know, they're the complete opposite to humility. It's as if to compensate for something.

Not only that, a lot of these guys feel the need to have a scapegoat, someone to feel better than in some way, someone to be the butt of their jokes, or to be belittled in some ways or put-down to prop up their pathetic ego. You get the picture.
I cannot stand people like that, yet they seem so common, especially in clubs.

The thing is, on my last trip to Italy for instance, and in my local couchsurfing group, (where there are all nationalities), there has never been any of that, no assholes, no immature little pricks, completely different kettle of fish.

Was just wondering why that may be. Could it be that in the latter I'm dealing with normal human beings? Is this sort of rubbish less prevalent outside the english-speaking countries?

I wonder what may be the route cause of it, could it be as a result of society becoming more socially darwinistic (aka, school-like), possibly in combination with bad parenting. Anyway, it would be good to hear some thoughts on this. Thanks

[fschmidt]

Maybe my post about American men also applies to the UK.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Couldn't help but post this out of the blue, but anyway, this is an issue related to the social culture.

This is something that gets on my nerves that I had dealings with after going out last night in my local town (which I haven't done in a long time). One thing that annoys me about my area, well really UK-wide, but is especially bad in my area, is that the average guy is bragging, puffed-up, tries to one-up others, tries to make themselves look hard, tough and aggressive, is cocky, sarcastic, full-of-themselves and irritating. They feel that they have to be competitive or have to prove something. You know, they're the complete opposite to humility. It's as if to compensate for something.

Not only that, a lot of these guys feel the need to have a scapegoat, someone to feel better than in some way, someone to be the butt of their jokes, or to be belittled in some ways or put-down to prop up their pathetic ego. You get the picture.
I cannot stand people like that, yet they seem so common, especially in clubs.

The thing is, on my last trip to Italy for instance, and in my local couchsurfing group, (where there are all nationalities), there has never been any of that, no assholes, no immature little pricks, completely different kettle of fish.

Was just wondering why that may be. Could it be that in the latter I'm dealing with normal human beings? Is this sort of rubbish less prevalent outside the english-speaking countries?

I wonder what may be the route cause of it, could it be as a result of society becoming more socially darwinistic (aka, school-like), possibly in combination with bad parenting. Anyway, it would be good to hear some thoughts on this. Thanks

This is due to the fact that in America, particularly in the cities, you need to be aggressive and domineering towards other people to survive and protect yourself.

You really have no other choice because if you chose to be peaceful, then somebody else is going to take that as a weakness and try to dominate/take advantage of you.

It's as simple as that, and the extreme cases of this attitude can be found in the f** up black communities. In the black communities you will be the butt of all jokes for simply being poor, or that somebody found out that your mom is crack ho.

The only people who are exempt from all this are women which is why many guys turn gay because they can't cope with the harshness of their living circumstances and fighting back so they rather be another guys B**** (not trying to be derogatory) to seek the same protection/privileges that women do.

[All_That_Is_Man]

Why does western society breed so many assholes?

Assholes, you say?... Oh, I couldn't help myself. Sorry, Winnie.

[zboy1]

U.S./Anglo culture has been perverted to the point of decadency; being a jerk and a tough guy is what passes as a man these days, and that is what Anglo women want. Putting other people down and escalating oneself above another is a trademark of Anglo societies. In other words, 'getting ahead' is what is valued in those countries. Greed and selfishness has become a virtue and is worshiped in popular culture. So, as a result, you see so much dysfunction in U.S./Anglo societies.

[targetguy]

Most people are so hypnotized as to how they should act and what psyche drug they should take by watching the boob tube it isnt any mystery to me why people act like they do. Just watch american tv and imitate the stupid actors and that is why people act crazy here. What was once good is not and morality in reverse what was once bad is good here. Just watch the tv, I threw my tv out years ago.

[publicduende]

Couldn't help but post this out of the blue, but anyway, this is an issue related to the social culture.

This is something that gets on my nerves that I had dealings with after going out last night in my local town (which I haven't done in a long time). One thing that annoys me about my area, well really UK-wide, but is especially bad in my area, is that the average guy is bragging, puffed-up, tries to one-up others, tries to make themselves look hard, tough and aggressive, is cocky, sarcastic, full-of-themselves and irritating. They feel that they have to be competitive or have to prove something. You know, they're the complete opposite to humility. It's as if to compensate for something.

Not only that, a lot of these guys feel the need to have a scapegoat, someone to feel better than in some way, someone to be the butt of their jokes, or to be belittled in some ways or put-down to prop up their pathetic ego. You get the picture.
I cannot stand people like that, yet they seem so common, especially in clubs.

The thing is, on my last trip to Italy for instance, and in my local couchsurfing group, (where there are all nationalities), there has never been any of that, no assholes, no immature little pricks, completely different kettle of fish.

Was just wondering why that may be. Could it be that in the latter I'm dealing with normal human beings? Is this sort of rubbish less prevalent outside the english-speaking countries?

I wonder what may be the route cause of it, could it be as a result of society becoming more socially darwinistic (aka, school-like), possibly in combination with bad parenting. Anyway, it would be good to hear some thoughts on this. Thanks

Interesting you're drawing a comparison with your experience in Italy. In Italian clubs, discos and trendy bars, young men are usually only interested in one target: the chick or chicks. They won't need to ridicule another man, especially one they never met before, to feel better or "charged" with confident. That is not to say they're perfectly smart, mature people. Try to cockblock them or, worse, approach their girlfriends or even female friends within their cliques and you may actually end up in a pot of blood at 3 AM. It's a double-edged sword, as usual with different cultures. I understand you're not mentioning Italian men specifically, but a bunch of nice guys who shared the trip with you...

[Jester]

Why does western society breed so many assholes?

Assholes, you say?... Oh, I couldn't help myself. Sorry, Winnie.

You are terrible!

PS Threadjacker!

[Jester]

I threw my tv out years ago.

Hats off to you.

I did that years back, and subsequently created quite a social life.
Pretty much had to.

I relapsed though. Can't remember why. I think I needed internet and fell for the bundle pitch.

Good to be reminded of the choice though.

[publicduende]

Couldn't help but post this out of the blue, but anyway, this is an issue related to the social culture.

This is something that gets on my nerves that I had dealings with after going out last night in my local town (which I haven't done in a long time). One thing that annoys me about my area, well really UK-wide, but is especially bad in my area, is that the average guy is bragging, puffed-up, tries to one-up others, tries to make themselves look hard, tough and aggressive, is cocky, sarcastic, full-of-themselves and irritating. They feel that they have to be competitive or have to prove something. You know, they're the complete opposite to humility. It's as if to compensate for something.

Not only that, a lot of these guys feel the need to have a scapegoat, someone to feel better than in some way, someone to be the butt of their jokes, or to be belittled in some ways or put-down to prop up their pathetic ego. You get the picture.
I cannot stand people like that, yet they seem so common, especially in clubs.

The thing is, on my last trip to Italy for instance, and in my local couchsurfing group, (where there are all nationalities), there has never been any of that, no assholes, no immature little pricks, completely different kettle of fish.

Was just wondering why that may be. Could it be that in the latter I'm dealing with normal human beings? Is this sort of rubbish less prevalent outside the english-speaking countries?

I wonder what may be the route cause of it, could it be as a result of society becoming more socially darwinistic (aka, school-like), possibly in combination with bad parenting. Anyway, it would be good to hear some thoughts on this. Thanks

Matty, the way you speak, it sounds like you live somewhere up North. For heaven's sake I have lived most of my UK time in London and Cambridge, but the year I spent in Birmingham (going out on Broad Street like, everybody else) and the few times a friend invited me up for a Saturday night in Liverpool and Plymouth, I have seen a very different humanity indeed.

In Birmingham I would see girls fainted drunk before midnight being gang-groped their slightly less intoxicated friends doing nothing to stop them, busy with some other kid. In Liverpool I saw a little scousy who couldn't be older than 16 pulling her skirt up and showing her tangas in the freezing cold while shouting "somebody f**k this wet thing", or something like that.

London is not like that, let me tell you. Unless you're specifically targeting the rare pockets of Romford girls on skimpy dresses at the train stations, you're quite likely to be striking a conversation with somebody, male or female, with an IQ higher than 90.

Like with anything, it depends who you're mingling with. I am usually not taking my chances with unknown groups of people met randomly. I have my social circles of people I trust, or whose ability to put up a decent chat and behaving in a way that doesn't embarass a dozen people is well documented. I don't even think it's a problem with English or British people in particular. New generations are left free to express themselves, without constraints of sorts. At current divorce rates, parents are hardly role models and, with a public schooling system that bailed on social and moral education completely, it's no surprise very few of these kids grow up as young adults with a balance or their own and a purpose in life.

Social polarisation in the UK is pretty bad, a lot worse than in many European countries. It's quite clear that the country is maintaining one system for the 10/15% of the population who will grow up to rule and run the essential services of the public and private sector, and another for a huge blob of shapeless, opinionless individual with no other raison d'etre than buying crap to fatten corporate balance sheets and drink themselves to oblivion on Friday nights. Not much of a difference from Victorian society, only without all the philanthropy and the industrial innovation.

[mattyman]

Matty, the way you speak, it sounds like you live somewhere up North. For heaven's sake I have lived most of my UK time in London and Cambridge,

I might as well be from the north, I live in a seaside town called Weymouth. It's a chavvy shithole to put it bluntly, used as a dumping ground for all the jeremy kyle fodder from up north, thanks to it's over-abundance of former guest-houses come bedsits. I think, if you've lived most your time in a vibrant city like London or Cambridge, then I suppose you're less exposed to the mentality I'm referring to. To be fair, my view has probably been distorted somewhat.

But anyway, what I'm referring to is this mentality;

You really have no other choice because if you chose to be peaceful, then somebody else is going to take that as a weakness and try to dominate/take advantage of you.

The way that you can't be nice, civil and decent, or else someone will find a weakness. The mentality where people feel that they can't be genuine or dent for fear of being seen as weak or taken advantage of. I think that it's fair to say that this is a mentality that's at it's worst in chavvy deprived areas.

London is not like that, let me tell you. Unless you're specifically targeting the rare pockets of Romford girls on skimpy dresses at the train stations, you're quite likely to be striking a conversation with somebody, male or female, with an IQ higher than 90.

Like with anything, it depends who you're mingling with. I am usually not taking my chances with unknown groups of people met randomly. I have my social circles of people I trust, or whose ability to put up a decent chat and behaving in a way that doesn't embarass a dozen people is well documented. I don't even think it's a problem with English or British people in particular.

I would definitely agree with you there. The types I've had to mingle with locally are not necessarily that positive to be truthful, having the similar mentality that just described. Also, there is an unusually high percentage of dicks, the kind that would have a go at you, if you're minding your own business, if they don't know you. I must say, that when I lived in Cardiff, I didn't have it to the same extent. So, it's definitely a mentality of rough and tough deprived areas, and I've probably been more exposed to it. It probably also partly explains why people in such areas to to look more unhappy and have lower aspirations.

[publicduende]

I would definitely agree with you there. The types I've had to mingle with locally are not necessarily that positive to be truthful, having the similar mentality that just described. Also, there is an unusually high percentage of dicks, the kind that would have a go at you, if you're minding your own business, if they don't know you. I must say, that when I lived in Cardiff, I didn't have it to the same extent. So, it's definitely a mentality of rough and tough deprived areas, and I've probably been more exposed to it. It probably also partly explains why people in such areas to to look more unhappy and have lower aspirations.

I see where you're coming from, metaphorically and else. London is probably a world of its own due to its service industry drawing the best and brightest from the rest of UK as well as the world over. It's a privileged pocket of society that is probably less representative of UK as a whole than one would want to believe. The Olympics have been a chance for the UK to showcase London as a creative, event organising powerhouse. Yet if you walk around Stratford now you will see the same grim looking council estates, friend chicken shops and depressed people strutting around, as they were before the big thing happened. You go to Canary Wharf (where I'm currently commuting every day, for work) and you could have the impression of being in a futuristic version of Manhattan, so well built and integrated the place is. Yet you move a couple of miles north or south of the site and you still find residential streets with no public lightning, "high street" that look like run-down kasbah and more or less the same human material you could find in the docklands of yesteryear.

Your experience has been twisted downwards by the chavs and ladettes you meet in Weymouth just as much as mine has been lifted upwards by the glamour and sophistication of (a relatively small part of) London.

[All_That_Is_Man]

Why does western society breed so many assholes?

Assholes, you say?... Oh, I couldn't help myself. Sorry, Winnie.

You are terrible!

PS Threadjacker!

Jester, I can picture you at your desk singing, "I'm an asshooooole lee-o lee-o, Lee-o lee-o, LEE-O LEE-OLE!!!!!!"

[Jester]

[
Jester, I can picture you at your desk singing, "I'm an asshooooole lee-o lee-o, Lee-o lee-o, LEE-O LEE-OLE!!!!!!"

I should perform it on Karioke for my gf and her friends

[NorthAmericanguy]

I threw my tv out years ago.

Hats off to you.

I did that years back, and subsequently created quite a social life.
Pretty much had to.

I relapsed though. Can't remember why. I think I needed internet and fell for the bundle pitch.

Good to be reminded of the choice though.

Same here.... I gave up TV and drinking soda back around 2004. During that time Telemundo was the only channel I would watch so I could learn Spanish.