It's a lose-lose situation if you're a nice guy...

[NorthAmericanguy]

Xiongmao, Everdred, and I are all nice guys. We have absolutely no trouble getting dates in Asia. Xiongmao and I were definitely dateless back home; not sure about Everdred, but he's certainly in a happy long-term relatonship with a Chinese lady now.

If thing aren't working out back home, then you might want to take a look at http://www.kayak.com/flights/

I just had a buddy come back from a trip in Asia, and not only did he have the time of his life, but he was juggling around 2-3 different women, and he had so much sex he needed to take breaks! Over here in the States, he goes months without being with women.

As far as Kayak and going overseas. I hear you, but truth be told, it's really only for the privileged few who can not only afford it, but can also take the time off just to be able to go. I'm only in my 30's, but most of the men I know and meet are in their 40's, and either they can't afford it, or they just can't take the time off from work to be able to go.

I have one buddy who lost everything from his cheating x wife. He's living in an apartment now all by himself and he works like a dog just to be able to stay current on his child support payments to keep him out of jail. His x wife is a total B***, and every time he turns around she's asking for more money or taking him back to court.

I really feel for this guy, so next year I'm going to pay for his flight either to Bangkok or Costa Rica. The guy is a good guy and he shouldn't even be going through what he's going through, but unfortunately, he's in the system for the next 10-15 years with no escape unless his x-wife has an "accident".

My point is, it's not realistic for a large percentage of American guys to travel/move overseas. Many people don't even like to fly. Reminds me of the late Patrice Oneal and how he started The Black Phillip Show just before he died to help not only himself, but American men with relationships because he was so moved by the foreign women/p4p he met during his travels in Brazil.

The Black Phillip Show is now the Beige Phillip show: http://beigephillip.com/


Edit: At the end of the day, what I see is that Western men are going to split off into two camps. The first and smaller camp of men who have the extra money, time, and willingness to travel abroad will do so. The second and larger group of guys who stay behind are going to have to get tough, restructure, and learn how to handle a ball busting Western woman. That was the basis to the Black Phillip Show, it was about getting your balls back and learning how to deal with American women.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Don't have anything to do with users and trash that, take advantage of people as described in the original post. Stop using the term 'nice guy' to describe someone that lets themselves be taken advantage-of by highly toxic women in that way, silly pua jargon.

It may seem like all woman are like that, it may seem that way, especially if you've seen evidence of that in your life, or are feeling bitter, if either you or someone close to you has been on the receiving end of such an awful tragedy, it's understandable.

"It's unfortunate that single, unattached women under 35, prefers the kind of man who is fun, exciting, thrilling, "romantic", assertive and focuses on the "3-H's": Height, Handsome and High-income. Sooner or later she realizes these kind of guys are irresponsible, unethical and unreliable. By then it's too late: he will use, abuse and dis-use her and the end result she is damaged goods. "
Rubbish, maybe true if you're dealing with white trash (or black or Asian trash, it's trash all the same), but that seems like a highly cynical view and I understand that things may appear that way.

I certainly wouldn't jump to such balmy, black and white conclusions about 'nice guys' and 'bad boys'. After-all, how's that supposed to help people meet and date decent women? I understand that some of you guys may want to vent your feelings, but this does sound like negativity and resentment and resentment speaking, rather than fact or logic.

I don't mean to sound condescending, it's understandable if some of you feel frustrated by the dating scene, what your choices maybe, and of what horror-stories you've heard, but seriously, for those of you who are unhappy, it certainly won't help you move towards what's important in life, and for those guys who are lonely and at a dead-end in their lives, it will only make them feel despondent and depressed, especially if all they've seen is the worst in people.

I hear you loud and clear bro... I'm going back to Bangkok to stay for a month in a few weeks, then when I get back, I'm going to hit up Central America for a week! I'm actuality more excited about Central America because I'm more attracted to dark, mixed, afro Spanish women.

[Halwick]

There is a great Jack Lemmon 1965 movie called "How to Murder Your Wife" in which he summed up the sorry state of the American "nice" guy and marriage in a very funny court scene:

"Men have been brainwashed into thinking marriage is a normal way of life. Marriage is not a basic fact of nature, it's an invention. It's like the infield fly rule; it exists only because the women say so and like idiots we just go following right along. ...."

"...Too long has the American man allowed himself to be bullied, coddled, and mothered, and tyrannized, and in general meant to feel like a feeble-minded idiot by the female of the species..."


American men, particularly by being overly"nice" and "sensitive" to their women, have no one else to blame but themselves for the current sad situation.

[Rayn]

There is a great Jack Lemmon 1965 movie called "How to Murder Your Wife" in which he summed up the sorry state of the American "nice" guy and marriage in a very funny court scene:

"Men have been brainwashed into thinking marriage is a normal way of life. Marriage is not a basic fact of nature, it's an invention. It's like the infield fly rule; it exists only because the women say so and like idiots we just go following right along. ...."

"...Too long has the American man allowed himself to be bullied, coddled, and mothered, and tyrannized, and in general meant to feel like a feeble-minded idiot by the female of the species..."


American men, particularly by being overly"nice" and "sensitive" to their women, have no one else to blame but themselves for the current sad situation.

Funny. Judging from how married life is led by the male in the relationship I thought that marriage exists because men wanted to keep other men from stealing their women.

[Jester]

My Filipina wife bought both of our wedding rings. In addition, I've never taken her on a honeymoon, a vacation, bought her flowers or bought her a dress and she sticks to me like glue. She's very supportive of me and rarely complains.

A real woman.

+10 to her!

Happy for you.

[RedMenace]

Typical American Woman after you marry her.

[travelsouth]

I think it is fair to say that we as men have to get our "heads right" before we jump on a plane overseas to date women. If you look like a male model you don't have to do much and women in the USA will be very interested in you. If you look above average you can do a decent job pulling women in but there is no free lunch. I could go to a bar right now and reel something decent in. There are all kinds of single moms out there and women out of bad relationships, etc. I've had women even offer to buy me a drink on occasion. Heck I even know guys that have attractive domestic women and they are happy couples with the woman being a half-way decent partner.

Part of my personal problem is I get bored with plainness and women making mountains out of molehills. I'm a chill guy and nothing bothers me more than my partner freaking out about something small. But to get back on topic we as men have been conditioned to behave a certain way. To pick up women you've got to be an entertainer and a bit of a smart ass. I don't mind the chase but I will tell you it sucks when being nice or chill is seen as a potential weakness.

Now when you go overseas you still have to engage and learn the culture BUT our thinking has to change. We've got to look in the mirror and discover that we are catches. Dress nice, look nice, smell nice and let's have some fun. Heck I was just a dumbass off the plane the first time having no idea what I was getting into but I learned (and so can everyone else).

I'm still learning about Asians but with Latinas you are screwed if you put them up on a pedestal. I read a report a long time ago from a nice guy who went to Colombia. The chica he was dating asked him if he was gay or something. Here is the deal girl... you chase me. You start kissing their ass and letting them get away with bullcrap and they own you.

The problem here in the USA is that if you take that sort of attitude you get called sexist. Well I can tell you positively that if you don't man up Latinas will not respect you.

Learn from my experiences if you've never traveled. When you go overseas be your entertaining charming self but also expect something from her. Let her sell you on her. Why the heck should you pick her out of all the other women in this country that want to date you?

Sure I made the mistake of not calling a chica on her BS one time. Things got a little nuts and I learned my lesson by cutting her the f loose. Never be afraid to cut em' loose and say NEXT!

[NorthAmericanguy]

My Filipina wife bought both of our wedding rings. In addition, I've never taken her on a honeymoon, a vacation, bought her flowers or bought her a dress and she sticks to me like glue. She's very supportive of me and rarely complains.

Happy for you bro!

[Falcon]

Anglosphere problems

"Top 10 Mistakes Men Make With Women" from Jad T. Jones
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL67110E823B2EB9C3

1. Being too nice and showing too much interest too soon
2. Leaning in too much (physical body language)
3. Not taking the lead
4. Thinking too much of what to say next
5. Trying to impress her
6. Being needy
7. Being negative
8. Having weak body language
9. Dressing poorly
10. Calling too much

[Tezcatlipoca]

I think it is fair to say that we as men have to get our "heads right" before we jump on a plane overseas to date women. If you look like a male model you don't have to do much and women in the USA will be very interested in you. If you look above average you can do a decent job pulling women in but there is no free lunch. I could go to a bar right now and reel something decent in. There are all kinds of single moms out there and women out of bad relationships, etc. I've had women even offer to buy me a drink on occasion. Heck I even know guys that have attractive domestic women and they are happy couples with the woman being a half-way decent partner.

Part of my personal problem is I get bored with plainness and women making mountains out of molehills. I'm a chill guy and nothing bothers me more than my partner freaking out about something small. But to get back on topic we as men have been conditioned to behave a certain way. To pick up women you've got to be an entertainer and a bit of a smart a**. I don't mind the chase but I will tell you it sucks when being nice or chill is seen as a potential weakness.

Now when you go overseas you still have to engage and learn the culture BUT our thinking has to change. We've got to look in the mirror and discover that we are catches. Dress nice, look nice, smell nice and let's have some fun. Heck I was just a dumbass off the plane the first time having no idea what I was getting into but I learned (and so can everyone else).

I'm still learning about Asians but with Latinas you are screwed if you put them up on a pedestal. I read a report a long time ago from a nice guy who went to Colombia. The chica he was dating asked him if he was gay or something. Here is the deal girl... you chase me. You start kissing their a** and letting them get away with bullcrap and they own you.

The problem here in the USA is that if you take that sort of attitude you get called sexist. Well I can tell you positively that if you don't man up Latinas will not respect you.

Learn from my experiences if you've never traveled. When you go overseas be your entertaining charming self but also expect something from her. Let her sell you on her. Why the heck should you pick her out of all the other women in this country that want to date you?

Sure I made the mistake of not calling a chica on her BS one time. Things got a little nuts and I learned my lesson by cutting her the f loose. Never be afraid to cut em' loose and say NEXT!

Yeah, that's one thing I really love about latinas, it's almost like they feed your masculinity. Unfortunately, I feel like being very financially limited right now makes me feel less assertive and bold than I would be otherwise because I simply do not have the freedom to take as many risks (without suffering the consequences) right now. I can't wait until I get through school.

[mattyman]

Anglosphere problems

"Top 10 Mistakes Men Make With Women" from Jad T. Jones
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL67110E823B2EB9C3

1. Being too nice and showing too much interest too soon
2. Leaning in too much (phyiscal body language)
3. Not taking the lead
4. Thinking too much of what to say next
5. Trying to impress her
6. Being needy
7. Being negative
8. Having weak body language
9. Dressing poorly
10. Calling too much

Hmm, makes the whole courting process look like an exam. Not a mindset that makes interactions flow freely is it? Haven't got time to worry about whether you're doing the 'right' thing or not. Such thinking only serves to inhibit you.

Anyway, I would like to have a rant about something that's a bit off-topic, namely criticism of the advice.

Weak body language?
Come on now, this is getting ridiculous. If someone's shy for-instance, it's likely that they're under pressure (most likely under the idea that 'I must not look nervous, must look composed, the idea that 'I must not show weak body language etc.) during social interactions. Of course, if during an interaction they notice that they're not performing upto this, they might become self-conscious of this, rousing more pressure, which in turn makes it worse. It certainly won't lead to free-flowing interaction.

Seriously, focusing on fixing knit picking details of your body language (especially if it's based on the thinking that 'I must not appear nervous/must display the 'right' body language so I won't be rejected') will certainly not help you, which is exactly what this type of advice encourages.

The way forward, if that is a problem for you is to fix the root cause of whatever rouses any anxiety. It is, as if often the case, people's unwillingness to experience anxiety/nervousness, and to have it visible that is the problem; as is the adoption behaviours to try and suppress and hide it. In a way, this sort of advice is about doing exactly that. By doing that, you don't get the chance to find out that it's OK to just be you, or that you can cope with any negative outcomes, which is so absolutely crucial for building true confidence.

[newlifeinphilippines]

My Filipina wife bought both of our wedding rings. In addition, I've never taken her on a honeymoon, a vacation, bought her flowers or bought her a dress and she sticks to me like glue. She's very supportive of me and rarely complains.

wow. does she come from money?

[marklambo]

Typical American Woman after you marry her.

white trash at its finest...

[Mercury]

American women themselves are toxic, hateful, spoiled rotten with a bad attitude; they are even lethally violent in their toxic hearts. On the outside, they may look graceful and harmless, but inside, they are worse than Adolf Hitler. American women themselves enjoy and praise violence, terrorism, illegal drugs, they are entertained even by videos of 9/11. That is why they friend-zone the nice guys and go for violent gang bangers, serial killers, terrorists; they'd practically enjoy living in Syria or Afghanistan!

And that's another reason College Night is nothing but hard core violent rap music. Over 95 percent of American college women themselves are in gangs, the most common gangs of choice being MS-13, Los Zetas, Latin Kings, and Four Corner Hustlers. And thank goodness American women are scared of firing a gun, otherwise there would be about 75 massacres a day in America.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

.....And that's another reason College Night is nothing but hard core violent rap music. Over 95 percent of American college women themselves are in gangs, the most common gangs of choice being MS-13, Los Zetas, Latin Kings, and Four Corner Hustlers. And thank goodness American women are scared of firing a gun, otherwise there would be about 75 massacres a day in America.

1) Errr more American women are baring arms now...even more so they are Black American women.
2) Dude. Hanging out in a unisex/male-female group at a restaurant or a youth hostel (yes the U.S. of Gay ironically has them but they have a 2-week cap for any American citizen to stay per calendar year - when it comes to most hostels abroad, you can stay for months), and the women are sitting there acting prude like they don't recognize how they got here on planet Earth and/or like they realize that they cannot reproduce or have sex without reproduction. The conversations are politically correct, monotone, monotonous, and myopic. P-M-M-M or the "P-cubed syndrome": I should patent that.