Why does it feel weird to eat at a restaurant alone in USA?

[Winston]

Today I ate at a vegetarian restaurant here. Again, it felt awkward and strange, since no one else was eating alone. Everyone brought someone else. Why is it that Americans are afraid to eat alone at restaurants? In other countries it's more normal and ok.

I don't get it. I mean, no one will bother you or make fun of you if you eat alone at a restaurant. So why are Americans afraid to do it? What is with the hang up against it?

And how come Americans will eat alone at a fast food place like Burger King or Subway, but not a restaurant? What's the difference?

Rock's tenant Monkro told me that Americans see eating alone at a restaurant as making you look like a loner, and in America loner = loser. Is that so? Is that why it feels so strange and awkward to eat alone at a restaurant in America?

How come when I eat at a restaurant alone in the Philippines or Europe, it doesn't feel awkward? It just feels like a normal thing that's no big deal?

Is this all in my head, or is there a real reason it feels awkward in America? Is it because the social rules on eating alone in America say its abnormal, and so your subconscious mind picks up on it?

It sucks when you can't even eat alone at a restaurant in America without feeling strange and awkward. f***ing sucks man!

What sucks about all this is that if you don't fit into America, you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you eat alone in a restaurant, it feels awkward like you're a loner and loser. But you can't make friends easily either because of the social disconnection where everyone minds their own business, is self-absorbed and doesn't talk to strangers.

What this means is that if you don't fit in in America, then you're screwed and f***ed. You can't go either way. You can't be a loner without feeling like a loser, and you can't make friends easily either. So you're f***ed.

Is that f***ed up or what?! Why is America so f***ing weird?! I don't understand!

Why isn't America as cool as it looks in the movies?

[jamesbond]

Today I ate at a vegetarian restaurant here. Again, it felt awkward and strange, since no one else was eating alone. Everyone brought someone else. Why is it that Americans are afraid to eat alone at restaurants? In other countries it's more normal and ok.

I don't get it. I mean, no one will bother you or make fun of you if you eat alone at a restaurant. So why are Americans afraid to do it? What is with the hang up against it?

Rock's tenant Monkro told me that Americans see eating alone at a restaurant as making you look like a loner, and in America loner = loser. Is that so? Is that why it feels so strange and awkward to eat alone at a restaurant in America?

How come when I eat at a restaurant alone in the Philippines or Europe, it doesn't feel awkward? It just feels like a normal thing that's no big deal?

It sucks when you can't even eat alone at a restaurant in America without feeling strange and awkward. f***ing sucks man!

Why isn't America as cool as it looks in the movies?

I know the feeling, I stopped eating alone at restaurants years ago. The only time I go out and eat alone is at fast food places like Subway and Arby's.

When I did eat alone at restaurants, I felt awkward and weird. There seems to be some sort of "stigma" with people eating alone at restaurants in the US. I guess in America, you are always supposed to be with another person when you are out in public places or else people might think you are a "loser who has no friends to go out with."

I have heard that in Germany, a lot of single people go out alone to restaurants and to movies and it's a perfectly normal thing to do. People also go to bars and clubs alone in Germany, which is unheard of in the USA.

[Winston]

So it's not my imagination then. There really is something wrong with eating alone at a restaurant in America.

But why is it ok to eat alone at Subway but not a restaurant? What about Dennys? Is it ok to eat alone there? Even if it is, the food at Dennys sucks nowadays. It's only good for breakfast.

How did this stigma against eating alone in restaurants get started? And why is America different in this regard than other countries?

Does our human encyclopedia Momopi have a logical explanation for this? Or is he just going to say "If you don't like it, then vote with your feet"? lol

Have any of you experienced this?

When I eat alone in restaurants, I try to ignore any awkwardness. But it's hard to do so.

Maybe it's a suburban thing. In NYC, it would probably be more normal to eat alone at some joint along the street. Even movies show people doing that in NYC.

[jamesbond]

So it's not my imagination then. There really is something wrong with eating alone at a restaurant in America.

But why is it ok to eat alone at Subway but not a restaurant? What about Dennys? Is it ok to eat alone there? Even if it is, the food at Dennys sucks nowadays. It's only good for breakfast.

How did this stigma against eating alone in restaurants get started? And why is America different in this regard than other countries?

When I eat alone in restaurants, I try to ignore any awkwardness. But it's hard to do so.

Maybe it's a suburban thing. In NYC, it would probably be more normal to eat alone at some joint along the street. Even movies show people doing that in NYC.

No, it's not your imagination, for some reason Americans regard eating alone as "strange" and "weird."

For some reason, people won't think you are a weirdo if you eat alone at fast food places. I think even if you eat alone at a Denny's, people will think you are a loser with no friends.

Your right maybe it is a suburban thing. I think if you went to NYC and ate alone at a restaurant, people would be ok with it.

[starchild5]

This is from my 10 years of research on America...

America was not created for Americans...

This is from my 20 years of research on America...

America is the most dangerous country for Americans....


P.S...Not research.....but general observation of BS***tness ..DO not fall for the con that is America...It makes you suffer for the crime America commit on humanity

Americans are good people NOT America...You did not do anything wroung

[manly5000]

[xiongmao]

Yeah, I hardly ever eat out alone in the UK, except for at McDonalds.

When I was in Thailand I used to eat out alone practically every evening. But there was company there if you wanted it.

[Devil Dog]

Today I ate at a vegetarian restaurant here. Again, it felt awkward and strange, since no one else was eating alone. Everyone brought someone else. Why is it that Americans are afraid to eat alone at restaurants? In other countries it's more normal and ok.

I don't get it. I mean, no one will bother you or make fun of you if you eat alone at a restaurant. So why are Americans afraid to do it? What is with the hang up against it?

I am perfectly comfortable eating alone at a restaurant in the US. I realize that some people aren't. It's just a personal thing, probably a question of whether you are "comfortable in your own skin".

[Jester]

A great OP, Winston.

Oddly, this may become my main, top, prime criterion for where I move to.

I am so tired of this problem.

Reading the thread, apparently this problem does NOT exist in the Philippines, Thailand, and Germany? Or all of Continental Europe?

I am really, seriously interested in this. I might prefer to live somewhere I can have a life, and nutrition, and take my chances on finding (or importing) the woman/women.

[manly5000]

For me, it feels weird to eat alone at a restaurant, because I'm surrounded by people in groups who have companionship and other people in their lives, enjoying their experience. But there I sit, alone, unwanted, un-cared for.



Does that make any sense amigos?

[Jester]

For me, it feels weird to eat alone at a restaurant, because I'm surrounded by people in groups who have companionship and other people in their lives, enjoying their experience. But there I sit, alone, unwanted, un-cared for.



Does that make any sense amigos?

Well, yes, it makes sense to ME, I avoid going out to eat alone in a sit-down place, unless in a great mood beforehand.

Many of us have experienced this.

But the question is, what makes some places NOT like this?

And can some guys here confirm what was said above about SEA and Europe?

[manly5000]

But the question is, what makes some places NOT like this?

Ummm... hmmm...

Really really good pizza? That's my guess!!

[Jester]

But the question is, what makes some places NOT like this?

Ummm... hmmm...

Really really good pizza? That's my guess!!

Wise guy!

[Winston]

Today I ate at a vegetarian restaurant here. Again, it felt awkward and strange, since no one else was eating alone. Everyone brought someone else. Why is it that Americans are afraid to eat alone at restaurants? In other countries it's more normal and ok.

I don't get it. I mean, no one will bother you or make fun of you if you eat alone at a restaurant. So why are Americans afraid to do it? What is with the hang up against it?

I am perfectly comfortable eating alone at a restaurant in the US. I realize that some people aren't. It's just a personal thing, probably a question of whether you are "comfortable in your own skin".

How often have you done that in the US? Eat alone at a restaurant? What kind of restaurant? How formal? Can you name some chains? Or do you only eat alone at fast food places?

I'm comfortable in my skin too. But it does feel awkward in the US to go to a restaurant alone. Are you saying you feel zero awkwardness? Come on now.

I guess some guys are sensitive and some aren't. Some guys are really good at suppressing their feelings and vulnerabilities. And some aren't.

[Winston]

A great OP, Winston.

Oddly, this may become my main, top, prime criterion for where I move to.

I am so tired of this problem.

Reading the thread, apparently this problem does NOT exist in the Philippines, Thailand, and Germany? Or all of Continental Europe?

I am really, seriously interested in this. I might prefer to live somewhere I can have a life, and nutrition, and take my chances on finding (or importing) the woman/women.

Well, yes, it makes sense to ME, I avoid going out to eat alone in a sit-down place, unless in a great mood beforehand.

Many of us have experienced this.

But the question is, what makes some places NOT like this?

And can some guys here confirm what was said above about SEA and Europe?

Yes Jester. I'm glad you understand the significance of this topic. You see, the question might seem trivial on the surface. But it's not, because the question of WHY it feels weird and awkward to go to a restaurant alone in the US but it does NOT in Europe, leads to something deeper that is very revealing. The reasons and answers to this question will speak volumes about our society, feelings of social connection, loneliness, dysfunction, etc.

I hope more people will comment on this topic and share their experiences on it. But it's also sort of a taboo topic in that most men do NOT like admitting that they feel lonely or vulnerable. They prefer to deny such feelings. So they do not like to talk about this.

If you ask most guys why they won't eat at a restaurant alone, they will make excuses like "It's too expensive. It's cheaper to cook or go to fast food." etc. But they will not admit that it's awkward or lonely. It's a guy thing.

It's a pity though, because there are a lot of good restaurants in the US and being limited to fast food or cooking at home sucks.

I wonder why it's more normal to eat alone at Burger King or Subway though.

To answer your question Jester: In Europe, no it is NOT awkward at all to eat alone at a restaurant. There is not this feeling of judgmentalness around you like in America. The social vibe feels relaxed and cool and no-uptight. I don't know why. But that's the best way I can explain it.

Same in the Philippines. It's a very non-judgmental culture. So it does not feel awkward to eat alone. I've done it many times there. There is zero awkwardness in it.

The question is: WHY? I think the answers will speak volumes about the dysfunction and social disconnection of our society.

However, I can't say the same for Taiwan though. In Taiwan, it does feel awkward to eat at a restaurant alone, especially if it's a formal one. When I did it, the waiters even asked me "You are alone? Why?" as if it was unusual to go to a restaurant alone in Taiwan. The waitresses directly acted like there was something wrong with it. At least in the US, they would be more polite about it.

But Rock's tenant Monkro said that it's not weird to eat alone in Taiwan. However, he lived in Taipei, a big city, and in big cities, it is more normal to eat alone at restaurants for some reason. But I was in a small city in Taiwan, and so perhaps it's different there.

But in canteens in Taiwan, where the food is cheap and the seating is cafeteria-like, people often eat alone there. So it's ok to eat alone there, just not in big restaurants.