Why do women reject/dump Winston or lose their love for him?

[smallcheese]

I don't think it was lack of tact. It was the tactic that was wrong.

You can't use logic on a woman, especially if you're arguing with her. With most women, that's the worst possible thing you can do, especially with Westernized feminist leaning women. Going Mr. Spock on a woman in an argument will only infuriate them and make them angrier at you. Double down by continually throwing more and more logic at them and eventually they'll explode and start yelling, screaming and cursing at you. You can't believe the type of profanities that can come out of a woman when they're in this emotional state.

This is especially pertinent if you're married to the woman you're arguing with.

Been there. Done that. Total waste of time.

It's better to run as fast and as far away as possible from women who act like this.

I second this notion, living through this kind of illogical, emotion based with the mother of my kid. Most women are emotionally based and only respond to triggers that reciprocate that response. The key is to figure out those triggers with these kind of women to limit damage control. The best thing to do of course is to not get involved with women like this, but since at least 3/4th's of women are like this anywhere in the world, most guys have been stuck after the fact with their hands in the air grasping for a sense of emotional stability with their woman. If one understands that their emotional level is generally stunted to pubescent age, then one can use emotional stop-gaps to lessen the blows. Logic just doesn't work. I think mostly Introvert type women are perhaps a better chance with being more logical than the extrovert types, so if you want a women that understands or appreciates logic or at least one that isn't a drama queen then go for the introverted type, even if they aren't intellectual then at least they shut their mouth a majority of the time and are quiet in comparison to dealing with emotional women who fly into beast mode in any kind of emotional tirade over the stupidest shit.

+1

You are sooo right Mr. S!!!!! I was married to a woman who acted just like that and I persevered for as long as I could for the sake of my children.

It will always be a tradeoff between intellectualism or peace and quiet. Having learned my lessons the hard way, I'll trade for peace and quiet over intellectualism every time! There are plenty of other venues available now to stimulate your mind so I don't need that much in a woman. Just basic common sense and a willingness to listen and learn is all I would look for now.

Yeah, I'm going through what you went through for the sake of my kid, it's hell at times, but at least I'll have a decent daughter; hopefully with her head straightened right rather than a mess like most modern women nowadays. I figure it's a mid-range time sacrifice for long-term father/daughter stability. Yes, it sucks right now but it'll be over once she hits her teens and that only around 5 years give or take from now. I did meet a decent compatible Filipina during the first year my daughter was born and if I didn't have to choose between my daughter or her or had not gotten the wrong women pregnant then I probably would have found the perfect long-term female companion for me. I had to let her go and some other lucky American guy scooped her up and flew her to somewhere in Tennessee. Oh well, live and learn. I suppose if I keep my eyes open down the road someone else may be compatible for me. (I'm a bit difficult to match-up with so I'm also psyched myself to accept being alone for the rest of my life, possibly) I suppose the only problem will be age, but it also depends on the location too, and I don't plan on living in America again or another Anglo-Western country, which discriminates against older men. I just gotta keep my health up as best as possible and see what happens in the 2020's.

Having a simple woman that doesn't talk back and cause drama and does typical womanly type stuff without fuss is I think a better long-term solution for compatibility than trying to find an intellectual equal who may evolve differently than you as you age and totally destroy your life in the process. I guess it would be nice being with an intelligent woman, but in todays world its rather dangerous as well, especially if you're in a Western country with liberal no-fault divorce laws. I admit screwing up and playing the field a bit too much and hopping over some good girls always looking for the next best thing, but sometimes one needs to learn these hard lessons to not make them again in the future.

If you are with a woman and she stays the night and either makes dinner for you at your place without asking or cleans your entire place or both, she's a keeper. I've met a few of those out of many women I've been with and at the time I didn't think it was such a big deal, now I know better, ha ha. A modern Western (or even Eastern or Latina women) woman cleaning your place cause she likes you? Good luck finding one of those in the modern dating world nowadays.

I kick my a** every day now thinking of the opportunities I dropped the ball on. UGH!

Even if the mother of my kid were to drop dead tomorrow, I probably wouldn't get involved with anyone new anyways cause it's too weird dating a 'new' woman while trying to raise a kid. I'd rather the kid be out of the picture than have to worry about what she thinks of me dating other women and the girl I'm dating having conflicts with a teen daughter who is still attached to her father. I especially wouldn't want to all of a sudden have another ready made family or the girl getting pregnant or something then my life would truly be over again. At least I can have a new life at late 40's with no kid in the picture than be saddled with more kids or something like that.

Listen up all you guys get rid of the drama queens and stay single or choose wisely and date more simple minded women if you want to keep your sanity and hair on the top of your head! Stress does make you go bald, I'm a living example of that circumstance now unfortunately.

Even though we've been divorced for many years already, I still have to communicate with my ex-wife from time to time because of our children. I try to always use email but sometimes on some matters, it's not possible. She still acts the same way, embittered now by divorce and still emotionally unstable and angry. I hate talking to her because she's a seething volcano underneath, ready to explode at the slightest hint of provocation. Even though I was already genetically predisposed, I am positive that my high blood pressure accelerated more rapidly because of my ex-wife.

The good thing is my sons have lived with her now for several years and they've realized that it wasn't me. They both understand now why I had to leave and divorce their mother. This is what I was hoping for when I decided to divorce their mother but stay in Hong Kong and remain a part of their lives growing up. I just wanted them to learn the truth on their own, but not feel abandoned by their father.

I only have 4 more years to go until my youngest son goes off to college. My oldest son is going to college in the U.S. this coming September. The good thing is that after several years of living alone in Hong Kong (except whenever my boys came over to visit), I got married last year to a well spoken, college educated, former beauty queen from a province a couple of hours away, outside Manila. So over the next 4 years I'm making my plans to finally escape my ex-wife forever.

I've already purchased a large tract of land in the province and will spend the next couple of years, slowly designing and building a nice home there for my wife and any family we might have in the future. I'm funding my wife's studies now as she's getting her masters in education while teaching English and other courses at the college level. My plan is to bring her here to Hong Kong on a spousal visa for a few years so that she can get some international teaching experience on her resume before we go back to the Philippines. I'm also looking at several business opportunities in the Philippines. I know I will pass away long before my wife does. So I want to set up for my wife and all of my children a future that is as financially secure as I possibly can.

Mr. S, I don't know you. I've never met you or talked to you before. I only know you from your writings here in this forum and I appreciate your willingness to share your life experiences with others so that they might learn from your hard earned wisdom. And I really appreciate how you're respectful to others and thoughtful in your writings. If no one has ever said this to you before, then I will.

Thank you for sacrificing for your daughter now. I'm sure after she grows up, she will realize (just like my sons have) what you have given up for her. She will know that you love her unconditionally and you always will. There's no greater satisfaction for a father than knowing that.

I greatly admire what you're doing because 99% of the men in the world wouldn't make the same life choice that you did. No one knows that better than I.

I know you're looking forward to being alone and enjoying your life after your daughter grows up and moves into another phase in her life. And I hope you will be succeed and get the happiness that you deserve. But don't give up on women yet.

I lived mostly on my own for several years after my divorce and like many men would do after being locked in a sexually deprived cage for many years, I sowed my oats over and over again throughout Asia. Thailand, the Philippines, China, Hong Kong, Macau, Korea and on and on. How can you not, when you're living in the world's sexual breadbasket? But after awhile, I still felt like I was missing something in my life. P4P and pseudo P4P (called dating with benefits) is great fun and you can have many wonderful experiences but in the end, it's unfulfilling as it becomes more and more like a business transaction. You go into a store, look around, see what you like, make your choice, pay for the service, have some fun and then go back to the solitude of your life.

If the Philippines isn't for you anymore, then I think you should strongly consider Vietnam. They have the type of woman you're looking for and hopefully you can finally find the woman you've been looking for, after all these years. I find Vietnamese women to be just as beautiful as Chinese women. Many women there are simple, unassuming, hard working with a good heart. I'd avoid women from the major cities as they seem to be getting corrupted more and more by money and Western influences. But it still may be possible to find some gems there.

The biggest barrier there might be language as their English skills are poor to non existent. For me, choosing to settle down came down to between the Philippines and Vietnam. But I felt that I was too old, lazy and stupid to learn a new language at my age.

But my white Jewish American friend is about to marry a Vietnamese woman, more than 20 years younger than him, and bring her into the U.S. (I know, a potentially fatal mistake! I've warned him many times already). After 5+ years of courting, he can't speak Vietnamese and she can't speak English (I wonder how their U.S. embassy interview is going to go) But they're still happy and in love. So some food for thought.

But Mr. S is right!!!! The simpler the woman the better! Common sense, basic intelligence and a good heart are much more important. You don't need intellectual stimulation from a woman, just other types of stimulation.

P.S. Mr. S, please feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk or vent your frustrations. Sometimes it helps just to talk to someone who's in the same situation you're in. I travel to the Philippines almost on a monthly basis to see my wife and I always go through Manila. So if you're living there and you'd like to meet up, we can. I think we have much in common. At least we can commiserate together over some cold drinks!

[Winston]

I finally scored!!! See here:

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26294&p=224230#p224230

[Winston]

Smallcheese,
Yeah you should try to meet Mr s if you can. I've met him many times. He's very genuine and deep. We talk about deep subjects a lot.

But you should let him know in advance because he lives outside of the city and can't come downtown very often. Maybe you can arrange to meet with rock at the same time.

I agree with you about wives. The best wives have good character and do not need to be too smart. My parents told me that you should never marry a woman with a strong personality if you want a peaceful life. An easygoing personality is best, especially if you have a strong personality yourself, since two strong personalities are a recipe for disaster. Lol.

[Winston]

I have another complaint:

Why do most women that go out with me always need to cover their arms and legs with clothes? They wear jackets and pants or long skirts. Yet when I go out in China, most girls show their arms and legs by wearing shorts and tank tops. WTF?! Why can't I be dating one of those girls? Why do I only have prudes to date?! Again, Murphy's Law always gives me the opposite of what I want. Frigging asshole.

It's as if women don't want me to get aroused, so they cover up their bodies around me. Sheesh. Why? I want them to wear shorts and show off their sexy white legs, so when we sit close together, I can touch them and feel their skin. But they always have to dress super conservative and prudish around me.

Yet outside in public I see women in short skirts and short pants showing their hot legs everywhere. Why can't I have one of those normal women? Why am I always so unlucky in this area? Sheesh.

Also, when I go somewhere where there's dancing, why is my date always the ONLY one that refuses to dance, even if everyone else is dancing? Why am I always stuck with the prudish one that's no fun? Geez. Why does luck and Murphy's Law always target me?

Even Dianne does this. At restaurants or bars with dancing, she is the only one who doesn't want to dance. Her excuse is that she doesn't like to dance in public and be seen by everyone. She only likes to dance with me in private. Yet how come other girls don't mind? Do I bring out the prudishness in every girl or something? Geez. Why is God so mean?

This is not fair. Why am I always singled out like this?

Also, I think that if a woman wants to be intimate with you, she will want to drink wine or champagne with you. My new girl that I got intimate with, said she wanted to drink wine with me, though we didn't have a chance to. So I would surmise that if she wants to get intimate and physical with you, she will want to drink wine with you. But if she doesn't, she will want to be clean and non-sexual and goody two shoes by avoiding alcohol around you.

So now, you can't make a woman horny for you by just giving her wine. She will refuse it if she doesn't want to be aroused by you, and pretend to be clean and goody two shoes and claim that she doesn't drink.

Why do I so often attract the prudish goody two shoes type though? Why?!

It seems that 99 percent of women I date are either:

1) Gold diggers and users who want to use me materially or to get a visa abroad, but don't want to give me physical intimacy, so they always makes excuses to avoid intimacy or delay it. Some of them just want to get married to avoid shame from their parents and relatives, they don't care who they marry as long he's civilized and decent. They simply want the "married status" and want to use me for that, even if we have no romantic chemistry together.
2) Super prudish girls who are very square and don't like to dance, wear sexy clothes or shorts or tank tops, or drink alcohol around me. They cover their arms and legs and don't want to arouse me. They always pretend to be goody two shoes and clean and innocent, so I never get my sexual satisfaction or intimacy needs met. They assume that I shouldn't need sex because they don't need it, so it's not an issue. If I bring up the subject, they always say "I don't like to move fast" or "I need to know you more first" or "I'm not ready for intimacy yet", etc. Sometimes they claim that we have to get married first before we have sex, because they want to minimize their sexual partners before marriage and don't want to be used.

WTF man?! Why can't I date a NORMAL GIRL? Sheesh! Come on God! Why does God and Murphy's Law always give me the OPPOSITE of what I want? Why do they hate me so much? Why Why Why?!

[Seeker]

Why are you worried about this stuff now? You already found a girlfriend right? That was in just a few weeks of looking so it shows that you can do it again if you have to by playing the numbers game like you've been doing.

[Mr S]

http://www.businessinsider.com/tips-att ... guy-2014-4

[droid]

http://www.businessinsider.com/tips-att ... guy-2014-4

meh, that applies mostly in America. South Korean pop music and drama dudes are clean shaven.

Yeah there's some common denominators, but like Ghost suggests, it depends on the society and whatever fad is current.
Where I am right now, you have to look like this to get the most action, and i'm not making this up:

[Mr S]

http://www.businessinsider.com/tips-att ... guy-2014-4

meh, that applies mostly in America. South Korean pop music and drama dudes are clean shaven.

Yeah there's some common denominators, but like Ghost suggests, it depends on the society and whatever fad is current.
Where I am right now, you have to look like this to get the most action, and i'm not making this up:

Well, I've followed most of those scientific 'findings' instinctively since going through puberty other than wearing red, which I really can't stand and have had little trouble getting laid if I put the effort into it. In my early days I didn't get laid more so because of my shyness and awkwardness around women rather than them not being attracted to me which I can look back now and understand a bit better than at the time.

Obviously, cultures that don't have much facial and body hair like in Asia and Latin American Indians or some meztimos won't apply to them but I think most of the other points still apply with whatever country you're in. I got laid like crazy when I got to Asia where I didn't feel the social constraints and could be myself and where the women weren't as standoffish like in America. I got many compliments on body hair, slight facial hair, muscles and being in shape but not overly built, they always commented on how I smelled good. I'm not a big smiler, which actually worked to my advantage because it make me somewhat appear aloof or mysterious, colors I don't think make that much of a difference unless you look like fag or something, darker or cooler colors I think work better for me than bright or warm colors, but it also depends on the energy of the person and how their own aura meshes with particular colors. I seem to get the best results with violet/purple, indigo, black, dark green/blue colors.

In relation to where you are, the mohawk style is a fad unless they are regressing to their Aztec or Mayan roots or something. I think that particular look only a certain type of person can pull off, like a MR T or someone similarly muscled and bad ass looking. If you look like a teenager or skinny dude wearing that look (like in that picture) I think you look more like an idiot than a badass or whatever they are trying to pull off. Anyways, if that's the style and a majority are copying it just goes to show that the culture is a sheeple culture and no one has their own independent brain or thinking going on. If a woman is attracted to that look, then she probably has the same idiotic viewpoint of life and just follows the crowd without thinking. You don't want to be with a women like that anyways so no big loss.

If you're not having much luck in Latin America then it probably doesn't resonate with you. It's best to hop on a plane and get over to one of the SE Asian countries as you will maybe have better luck there. Usually 3-6 months is enough time to realize whether a place works for you or not.

If Winston was able to follow at least half of what that video suggested then his chances with women would probably sky rocket, however he'd have to reinvent himself and break out of current bad habits and create new positive ones aligned with the new goals and he probably isn't willing to do that as it usually takes around 3-4 weeks of consistency to create a new habit.

[Winston]

Rock,
heres a constructive question for you. if u had been in my position with summer or lisa, what would YOU have done differently to get a different result? read my detailed account with them on forum and tell me please. be specific. and how confident are u that ur "different actions or game" would have bore any better results than me? be honest please.

havent u been in any situation where u did everything right and logical, yet everything went wrong? that never happens to you? or is life is always logical and makes sense?

life and love are not like that. im sure u know that. u can do everything right and good, but if its with the wrong person, it wont work. on the other hand, u can mess up repeatedly, like i did with dianne, but if its meant to be, she will come back to u and still love u. see what i mean? so are u still 100 percent sure that things could have gone differently with summer or lisa if i did something differently?

anyhow, what makes you so sure that i did something wrong with summer or lisa? Why u act 100 percent certain of it? why dont u think that maybe THEY did something wrong? or that they just didnt like me for me? Why u think all women are controllable and will like u for u if u do the seduction or game correctly?

ask summer what i did wrong. see if she can come up with something i did wrong that a reasonable man would not have done. or even that u would not have done. if u can come up with something concrete and valid, ill give u 100 dollars. you on? lets get to the truth here, not ur baseless shaming tactics that AW tend to use. comprende?

rock now let me ask u a hypothetical question:

if you went with lisa on a 39 hr train ride, and u suffered and was uncomfortable and complained, and she used it against u as a sign of ur weakness and lost her love for you after that, would u think that she was being fair or reasonable? answer honestly please?

we both know that if i had been on an uncomfortable grueling 39 hr train ride with dianne, dianne would NOT have changed her feelings or love for me after that. so why would lisa? either lisa never truly loved me or shes super changeable, which she admitted many times. the lisa that fell in love with me and the one that dumped me rudely didnt seem like the same person at all.

incidentally, i never used any game or seduction on lisa. she liked me for me. when we first met she was drawn to me and enamored because i was so different than typical chinese guys. she liked that i was deep, genuine and a freethinker, all of which was very refreshing to her and made me an intriguing novelty.

all i had to do to get her into bed was tell her that i wanted to sleep with her and make love. thats it. she was aroused and found the notion of forbidden love (since she was still married at the time) to be intoxicating. she was drawn to the taboo.

anyway, she liked and loved me for me. even when she read all about me online, she still loved me. when someone loves all that u are, then u pretty much got it made with her right? nothing can go wrong in theory, especially if you do nothing wrong and play it safe and go with the flow, which is exactly what i did.

so what eventually happened with her was totally inexplicable and unexplainable and illogical. remember lisa freely admitted that shes very changeable. Therefore if SHE changed and i did NOT change, then the fault and cause of the breakup can NOT be me, technically speaking! after all, i did not change into something else. i was still the same guy she fell in love with. bottom line: she changed, not me. thus technically i cannot be at fault. therefore, you cannot justifiably blame me or spin it against me using unfair shaming tactics like dirty politicians do. agreed? case closed. so please dont ever blame me for the lisa incident ever again, unless u have a logical reason to. make sense? comprende?

[Winston]

Rock,
Also, two things you don't seem to take into account, which you have agreed with in the past, but for some reason you don't want to acknowledge in my case because you like to bully me subtlely, right?

1. First, the truth about women is that if they really love you, they will keep loving you, even if you turn criminal. For example, Mark Chapman's Asian wife Gloria still loved him after he shot and murdered John Lennon. So she truly loved him. In contrast, if a woman does not love you, she will fish for any trivial reason to dump you, even if it doesn't make sense. And when she does, she was using these things as EXCUSES, meaning they are NOT the actual reasons. Yet you forget that and think that excuses are the actual reasons, when in reality they are just excuses to dump him because she's not in love anymore. So you use these "excuses" against me and insinuate FALSELY that I did something wrong to cause these excuses. So you miss the true nature of psychology in this case. Do you realize that?

You heard the excuses that Summer and Lisa gave to dump me. Yeah they were very trivial, especially Summer's excuses. But they weren't real reasons. They were just excuses. They didn't really love me, or the infatuation wore off, so they looked for reasons to dump me. You understand that right? This is human psychology.

2. Second, women don't seem to enjoy peace. If everything is going great during a relationship, they get bored and start fishing for drama and conflict, because that's what they thrive on. So if you don't start and argument, THEY WILL. That's a pattern with women. Haven't you noticed? They THRIVE on drama and conflict. So you gotta start some conflict and argument once in a while. Too much peace and love bores them. It's also a way for them to test you of course. I'm sure you've noticed this too. I don't know if all women do this, but a lot of them do.

So when that happens to me, why is it my fault? I don't ask for drama or conflict? I don't start arguments. I'm a man of peace and I enjoy peace and life? So why do you try to pin it on me in this case in regard to Summer or Lisa? I think deep down, you know you were wrong to do that. Maybe your white genes like to bully asian guys, so you can't help it?

Can you explain logically and rationally? Did I misunderstand you or misread you?

This paragraph below describes what Lisa admitted that she did.

http://www.returnofkings.com/78898/9-se ... -of-cancer

We are constantly poking, prodding and testing a man, in order to find out what his boundaries are. If he has no boundaries, we will destroy him, especially if he loves us. A man has to have boundaries, and he has to outline them precisely, and he has to force us to adhere to them with the power of his conviction and the power of his action. If he doesn’t do that, we will beat him over the head with his weaknesses (his lack of boundaries) until he breaks.

She admitted that she didn't like that I didn't have "boundaries" whatever that meant. I guess I tolerated too much shit from her during her shit tests, so she saw me as weak, because real man wouldn't tolerate it and would tell her to shape up or get out. Why is that my fault? There's nothing wrong with being too nice, unless you're a dysfunctional bully who needs to take advantage of it. In that case, it's not the victim's fault, but the bully's fault. How can being nice, kind and peaceful be a character flaw? If you think it is, then you are buying into the dysfunctionality bullshit. But you can't rightfully say that such stuff is my fault. There is nothing in the moral code that says that nice, kind, peaceful guys are wrong and have a character flaw.

Furthermore, in the Philippines, the girls NEVER use "being too nice" as a penalty point against men or view it in any negative light. So in that sense, Filipinas are more sane.

[ethan_sg]

Enough dwelling on Lisa Winston. I know you two had a connection but she's a single mum and used goods by Chinese standards. I think you're fully capable of finding a girl who would have a strong connection with you and doesn't have the kind of history, baggage and mental issues that Lisa has.

[droid]

Enough dwelling on Lisa Winston. I know you two had a connection but she's a single mum and used goods by Chinese standards. I think you're fully capable of finding a girl who would have a strong connection with you and doesn't have the kind of history, baggage and mental issues that Lisa has.

+1

[yick]

I don't think it is 'Murphy' Laws' or any of that bollix.

I think they just google search your name or email address and 'pop' there you are - a thousand pictures of you surrounded by
half naked Filipina whores in Angeles City.

One minute they are into you - the next they go colder than an ice lolly in Antarctica - doesn't take a genius.

[Winston]

I don't think it is 'Murphy' Laws' or any of that bollix.

I think they just google search your name or email address and 'pop' there you are - a thousand pictures of you surrounded by
half naked Filipina whores in Angeles City.

One minute they are into you - the next they go colder than an ice lolly in Antarctica - doesn't take a genius.

I don't care if you buy it or not. You are the one full of bollocks. Murphy's Law is a consistent pattern. I've seen it so many times that each time I do, I imagine Rock or Momopi next to me, while I say to them, "Look! See! It happened again!"

Either way, your denial doesn't change the reality I experience. I'd rather believe my eyes and experience, than you.

Actually, Lisa knew all about this site and my past history, yet she still loved me for me. So I thought I found a real soulmate. Nothing should have went wrong with her in theory. That's my point. There does seem to be some curse, bad karma, or Murphy's Law against me. Just because you are an atheist who doesn't believe in anything you can't see, doesn't change anything.

Also, if a woman says to you "I don't love you anymore. I don't know why. I can't explain it." isn't that an indication of a curse or unseen forces against you? It's like an invisible agent is breaking up your relationship with her, and she can't explain it. Isn't this indicative of some external agent or force?

[Rock]

Rock,
heres a constructive question for you. if u had been in my position with summer or lisa, what would YOU have done differently to get a different result? read my detailed account with them on forum and tell me please. be specific. and how confident are u that ur "different actions or game" would have bore any better results than me? be honest please.

havent u been in any situation where u did everything right and logical, yet everything went wrong? that never happens to you? or is life is always logical and makes sense?

life and love are not like that. im sure u know that. u can do everything right and good, but if its with the wrong person, it wont work. on the other hand, u can mess up repeatedly, like i did with dianne, but if its meant to be, she will come back to u and still love u. see what i mean? so are u still 100 percent sure that things could have gone differently with summer or lisa if i did something differently?

anyhow, what makes you so sure that i did something wrong with summer or lisa? Why u act 100 percent certain of it? why dont u think that maybe THEY did something wrong? or that they just didnt like me for me? Why u think all women are controllable and will like u for u if u do the seduction or game correctly?

ask summer what i did wrong. see if she can come up with something i did wrong that a reasonable man would not have done. or even that u would not have done. if u can come up with something concrete and valid, ill give u 100 dollars. you on? lets get to the truth here, not ur baseless shaming tactics that AW tend to use. comprende?

rock now let me ask u a hypothetical question:

if you went with lisa on a 39 hr train ride, and u suffered and was uncomfortable and complained, and she used it against u as a sign of ur weakness and lost her love for you after that, would u think that she was being fair or reasonable? answer honestly please?

we both know that if i had been on an uncomfortable grueling 39 hr train ride with dianne, dianne would NOT have changed her feelings or love for me after that. so why would lisa? either lisa never truly loved me or shes super changeable, which she admitted many times. the lisa that fell in love with me and the one that dumped me rudely didnt seem like the same person at all.

incidentally, i never used any game or seduction on lisa. she liked me for me. when we first met she was drawn to me and enamored because i was so different than typical chinese guys. she liked that i was deep, genuine and a freethinker, all of which was very refreshing to her and made me an intriguing novelty.

all i had to do to get her into bed was tell her that i wanted to sleep with her and make love. thats it. she was aroused and found the notion of forbidden love (since she was still married at the time) to be intoxicating. she was drawn to the taboo.

anyway, she liked and loved me for me. even when she read all about me online, she still loved me. when someone loves all that u are, then u pretty much got it made with her right? nothing can go wrong in theory, especially if you do nothing wrong and play it safe and go with the flow, which is exactly what i did.

so what eventually happened with her was totally inexplicable and unexplainable and illogical. remember lisa freely admitted that shes very changeable. Therefore if SHE changed and i did NOT change, then the fault and cause of the breakup can NOT be me, technically speaking! after all, i did not change into something else. i was still the same guy she fell in love with. bottom line: she changed, not me. thus technically i cannot be at fault. therefore, you cannot justifiably blame me or spin it against me using unfair shaming tactics like dirty politicians do. agreed? case closed. so please dont ever blame me for the lisa incident ever again, unless u have a logical reason to. make sense? comprende?

Constructive question? I like that lol.

I've messed up a lot with girls cus I too often behave weakly or react to their tests, especially if I like the woman too much from the onset.

But I do act more masculine sometimes too and that tends to work out a lot better. Even if the girls does not like me romantically, at least she's more likely to respect me and not make a chump out of me.

A few points:

- It's not so much about what you did. It's about what you didn't do. If you walk on eggshells and do no wrong, that is not gonna attract many women. You're better off being bolder, stronger, and acting like some sort of guy who's got his shit together. Have an agenda and follow it without hesitation. Don't get sucked into her drama. Better to be cool and don't react emotionally when she tests you (which they almost always do). If she goes too far, be prepared to walk. Who knows, she might just come running after you, apologize profusely, and beg for forgiveness. Even if she doesn't, she will be more emotionally moved in a positive way. Carry yourself in a way that tells her you are complete, with or without her ass. Don't do the opposite (kiss her butt, argue, whine, get upset, etc.) which is what so many modern weak men do!

- I would never get on a 39 hour train with any woman. That's not gonna happen with me. I would tell her if she really wants to go by slow train, she's on her own. I may fly to the destination (if I feel like it) and she's welcome to contact me when she arrives days later. When a girl insists on doing something stupid and you follow along (even reluctantly), you've already lost a lot of points.

- If a girl can easily control, manipulate, or cause you to react, you've shown blatant weakness and that's a big turn-off. If she doesn't leave you, she will at least loose respect for you and will more likely cheat when the first opportunity arises.

- If a girl has too strong a personality and you can't manage to dominate her the way a natural alpha might, you are better off just having a good bout of sex with her then leaving her. She will actually respect you more if you behave like that instead of letting her control you in some way.

- As for mainland Chinese girls, so many tend also to consider the practical long term. You are pretty transparent and they easily see through you in short order. They peg you as an unstable player type with no real career, goals, or direction. Add to that your on-the-spot behavior is hesitant, slow, and sometimes confused. Since you're middle age, they expect you to be a solid man, not a curious lost boy. They see you as set in your ways, someone who will not change. That doesn't give them much sense of security.

- I met Summer a few weeks ago in Shenzhen. She told me that she really doesn't care about a guy's looks and that her last bf was older than you, darker, and not really good looking. But he made her feel safe and taken care of. But with you, she felt like she would have to take care of you, that you are kinda a helpless child. That's why she started acting evasive, flaky, and bitchy. She wanted to drive you away.

- A lot of Asian girls are not like westernized white chicks. They don't expect you to be a hyper masculine alpha with a long hard cock to boot. But you need to at least have a plan and lead the dates a bit. Also, they expect you to read them to a degree and take care of them (empathy). You remember when you, I, zboy, and Marissa were in Koreatown looking for a place to eat? Marissa was starving and kept indicating that no so subtly. But you ignored her and insisted that we keep walking further down to see what food was available. She just wanted to stop and eat at any of the places we passed and it was very clear to me. But you seemed to miss it. That pissed her off and if you had been her date, you would have lost a lot of points I think. Do you remember her getting annoyed at you later that evening? There was a reason.

- It's true that some player types can manage to successfully seduce women in China even though they are identifiable as a player. They succeed on the basis of other strengths. Either they are young and/or good looking or they are experts at reading a women and connecting with them emotionally. Others may widely be considered to have personal charisma and charm. They bring something to the table which can work magic on certain girls. But if you don't have any of these 'gifts', and they see you as a player, then your SOL cus you have no compensating factors.