Good points. Two generations ago, shy/awkward and also less physically attractive men had more social safety nets to guarantee them some decent marriage prospects. People met through very organic social circles with people very similar to them, at churches, neighborhood socials, parties and straight-up date arrangements through friends, parents, cousins, coworkers... Working-class Americans married their high school girlfriend or girl next door introduced by their parents who attended the same church. Upper-class Americans also met their spouses through social arrangements or at greek/sorority socials on university campuses. I believe many people in the baby boomer generation met their spouses at college. Nowdays the majority of millennials are either just hooking up or living an introverted life of pizza and video games during college age. Decades ago, it also was not uncommon for older men in their 30s and even 40s-50s to be introduced and married to younger brides in their 20s and even teens. Wasn't it Ty Cobb's father who remarried in his 40s to a 12 year old?GoingAwol wrote:Jamesbond,jamesbond wrote:It's sad but true, America is a country filled with extroverts and women love extroverts because they are seen as more masculine than shy guys are.GoingAwol wrote:I've been pondering the reasons why so many men can't get dates or sex in America and I think the main reason is introversion/shyness. Sure, there are undoubtedly men who struggle to get women because of other reasons, but I think this is the biggest factor for most men that are perpetually single. The reason being is America is an extremely extroverted society and it's every man for himself in the dating scene. Just a few decades ago shy men had social safety nets in place to meet women, but not anymore. If you are a shy/introverted man in America you are sh*t out of luck if you aren't exceptionally good looking.
one of the things I've noticed is people in America don't introduce people to each other anymore. Based off of what i've heard from my family and other older people it seems that most people in the older generations would meet boyfriends/girlfriends via introductions from friends and family. Just try to imagine how much easier it would have been for shy men to meet women back in those days. You didn't have to cold approach women at clubs or crowded parties because you could be set up by friends and family and connect with them one on one in non-threatening settings. That stuff just doesn't exist anymore... It's every man for himself.
I think it today's dating climate, you have to be more independently proactive, which by default, makes dating more Darwinian. The social fabric of unity via family/church/neighborhood has waned over the years, making attributes like social charisma (this includes Game) and good looks all the more important. I think a lot of young women nowdays are distracted with all the options of this very wide-open dating ecosystem, and shy/introvert males are at a marked disadvantage.
