Happier Abroad Forum Community

That's because you mistake customer service for friendship. Not a terrible judgement on you, since in America that is normally the only human interaction you get.

You're not paying for the food and drink. You're paying for the human companionship and female attention.

Wow I almost posted a thread like this. My best friend left me completely out of her life when I sent her a picture of my new improved teeth and overall change of looks. I noticed that she posted those typical "I prefer to be alone than be surrounded by fake people" posters in fb implying that I was a fake for wanting to look a little bit better. But she has changed hair color a million times before did whatever she wanted and not once has she ever been called fake by me or anyone. I kept losing friends after high school and now the count is zero without any real reason (no fights, no disagreements, nothing big) just plain old being left behind.

Being friends with men proved to be a fruitless endevour so I'm left to fend for myself alone.

I deeply resent the hermit culture in this f***ing lonely place.

BlueEverglades wrote:Wow I almost posted a thread like this. My best friend left me completely out of her life when I sent her a picture of my new improved teeth and overall change of looks. I noticed that she posted those typical "I prefer to be alone than be surrounded by fake people" posters in fb implying that I was a fake for wanting to look a little bit better. But she has changed hair color a million times before did whatever she wanted and not once has she ever been called fake by me or anyone. I kept losing friends after high school and now the count is zero without any real reason (no fights, no disagreements, nothing big) just plain old being left behind.

Being friends with men proved to be a fruitless endevour so I'm left to fend for myself alone.

I deeply resent the hermit culture in this f***ing lonely place.

Welcome back BlueEverglades, you haven't posted since July of 2016, I thought you moved to another country.

Yes the US is an isolating lonely place to live. You need to make your friends early in life (when your in school) and then you need to hold onto those friends for the rest of your life. It's difficult to make friends with people after you are out of school in America.

Perhaps taking some college courses might help or doing volunteer work.

Guys, people come into your life for a reason or a season, and when the season's over, it's over. Chalk it up and move on. You can't be everybody's friend, nor should you want to he. If there's nothing that bonds you together, people tend to fade from your life, no matter where you're from.

jamesbond wrote:
America is a "hermit culture" where everybody hides in their houses and only leave their homes to go to work or to go shopping. Most people in the US don't even know who their neighbors are and they don't want to get know their neighbors either.

Americans not only do not know their neighbors, Americans hate their neighbors! They see a neighbor outside playing basketball or dominoes and they're like; "There's gonna be a shooting! Get inside! Get downstairs!"

People in America tend to be cliquish and only socialize with people they already know, they hate meeting new people. You need to meet women through your friends or else you probably won't meet any women.

Obviously true, Americans are closed and hateful. Americans go out in closed cliques.

The same thing is true in all English speaking countries from what other posters on this board have said who live in the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

Scary to be told it's the entire Anglosphere and every first world country. No wonder Jesus said that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to Heaven!

Much of this applies anywhere. I don't have any friends from school. Some from the army but we live all over the country and many overseas so rarely see each other and I don't do facejew so don't keep tabs on what they had for lunch or where they went on the weekend.

Bike mates are interest dependent.

As djean said, people come and go in your life as your location, activities, work place and situation changes. It is no big deal. It is normal. You make new friends. But later in life as you have family and responsibilities, your have less time and need for friends except occasional recreation. When i feel the need I can always pop into a biker place and have companionship. The married okes generally have to leave early though for lunch with the family etc.

Mercury wrote:

The same thing is true in all English speaking countries from what other posters on this board have said who live in the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

Scary to be told it's the entire Anglosphere and every first world country. No wonder Jesus said that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to Heaven!

So even when I go abroad, a lot of Kiwi Anglo women keep to themselves, but there's always one non-White dyke in the Anglosphere on these abroad trips lurking in hostels and shit.

Be careful with people.

Has anyone ever asked someone for directions, and then later on they came to realize that the person(s) who gave them directions gave them the wrong directions intentionally? This happened to me twice when I was around 17 and going to take a placement test for college. I was literally steps away from the building, but asked a set of college students where the building was, and they sent me miles out of my way. That happened twice that day. I also lived with a man who did this to random strangers one night when we were out together. He just gave them the wrong directions on purpose. And when I asked him why, he just said not to worry and that everything was going to be okay.

But what's the point? I never understood it. My point though, is that for most of my adult life, I had a friend who was also doing this to me but with other things. He would offer to help me, but his help was just the semblance of help. Really he just enjoyed watching me spin my wheels and get nowhere.

I hadnt talked to this person since October. On April first (the fool's day) he sent my mother a message on Facebook asking her about me. I just wondered, how in the world did he get her info. Apparently he used one of those websites that track people that employers use. In other words, he couldn't take the hint when I blocked him on FB and changed my phone number. He went into stalker mode, because he lost his narcissistic supply.

Looking back, his other friend made fun of me when I went to visit him in his house. I mean the whole time just making jabs, and instead of telling the other dude to stop his racket, he told me to "fight back." In other words, I should go down to his level of insults. Well if you are a decent person who isn't skilled in insulting people for fun, it seems disgusting and revolting to act in such a manner, and besides that, unless you are a reprobate, you are not free to do such things for hours and days (you'd only embarrass yourself and give them more ammo). [And this guy was a filthy pervert who would whip out his penis when women were not around. He is also a banker making tons of money.]

I also should have known by the filthy things that always came out of his mouth too, like when he was making fun of the girl who he and his other two friends ran a train on all night long while I was passed out. He was even laughing at her (as he tells the story) when they were going into her. (She had a boyfriend too, and she was a very pretty skinny 18 yr old blonde.) And I never touched her.

(Sidenote: I even caught them in the act, and she saw me. But later on, she lied saying nothing happened, even knowing that I knew the truth. Talk about pathological liars. Will they enjoy their eternal destiny?)

I'm tired of people saying it's like that everywhere - it isn't. I'm sorry, I understand why you're saying that - but not true.


America it's set up to be impossible to establish connections of any kind. It's like putting roots out constantly for them not to take. It's exhausting and the culture doesn't permit it so people just half assed try, or give up. It's a constant process of painful half assed trying and failing. You can try and try and try to make establish friendships with people you meet outside.

Since there's no one culture - or the culture's entirely work, individual - whatever. It's been completely deconstructed, people are afraid and wary of you, of strangers. They don't even look long enough to say anything. When they do....they're afraid, since there's no underlying culture.

IMO it's tragic. No one knows how to relate to anyone anymore, it's been derascinated. We have no to little common ground. People are permanently alienated.


It's terrible and it sucks here.
It's just work work, and more work.


At least in other countries there is an essence of a culture that makes it livable.

I feel like I'm going insane here, lonely, every single day of my misreable assed life.

I want nothing but to get out of here, again.
Americans are irritating and insular and piss me off. They are so stupid, the ones "happy" here are shallow morons .... happy with their "egos" and toys they've accumulated, happy in their insular life they've built.
They are the arrogant ones. That's it, work hard in a niche... get a job, save, then walk around and look down on everybody else like a jerk, an arrogant jerk. And a shitty house with a picket fence that you tend to all day so you can keep up with the Jones's.

What a great life.

It's hollow. You can do that your whole life you work hard it's like a process just so at the end you get to sit in a home with a wife who hates you, with a house. The American Dream is already faded......it's dodgy, sketched, there's no outline of it anymore, there's too much distraction.
I don't understand it, it's like people gave up and half assed it, so everyone's socialist. Of course, with that you can't have the DREAM anyway. That takes discipline and hard work.
IDK what people are going for now. just aimlessly wandering, rootless. half working for that dream, half having fun doing whatever.

It's a f***ing nightmare.

jamesbond wrote:

BlueEverglades wrote:Wow I almost posted a thread like this. My best friend left me completely out of her life when I sent her a picture of my new improved teeth and overall change of looks. I noticed that she posted those typical "I prefer to be alone than be surrounded by fake people" posters in fb implying that I was a fake for wanting to look a little bit better. But she has changed hair color a million times before did whatever she wanted and not once has she ever been called fake by me or anyone. I kept losing friends after high school and now the count is zero without any real reason (no fights, no disagreements, nothing big) just plain old being left behind.

Being friends with men proved to be a fruitless endevour so I'm left to fend for myself alone.

I deeply resent the hermit culture in this f***ing lonely place.

Welcome back BlueEverglades, you haven't posted since July of 2016, I thought you moved to another country.

Yes the US is an isolating lonely place to live. You need to make your friends early in life (when your in school) and then you need to hold onto those friends for the rest of your life. It's difficult to make friends with people after you are out of school in America.

Perhaps taking some college courses might help or doing volunteer work.

F*ck this narcissist, fake, infantile country full of bullshit. I'm about to pawn off some of what I own....just take a plane trip over to Turkey or something. Get a job as a shitty English teacher. At least I'll be happy and can go from there. happiness is everything.


I have 1,000 delta miles I can use.

Adama wrote:Be careful with people.

Has anyone ever asked someone for directions, and then later on they came to realize that the person(s) who gave them directions gave them the wrong directions intentionally? This happened to me twice when I was around 17 and going to take a placement test for college. I was literally steps away from the building, but asked a set of college students where the building was, and they sent me miles out of my way. That happened twice that day. I also lived with a man who did this to random strangers one night when we were out together. He just gave them the wrong directions on purpose. And when I asked him why, he just said not to worry and that everything was going to be okay.

But what's the point? I never understood it. My point though, is that for most of my adult life, I had a friend who was also doing this to me but with other things. He would offer to help me, but his help was just the semblance of help. Really he just enjoyed watching me spin my wheels and get nowhere.

I hadnt talked to this person since October. On April first (the fool's day) he sent my mother a message on Facebook asking her about me. I just wondered, how in the world did he get her info. Apparently he used one of those websites that track people that employers use. In other words, he couldn't take the hint when I blocked him on FB and changed my phone number. He went into stalker mode, because he lost his narcissistic supply.

Looking back, his other friend made fun of me when I went to visit him in his house. I mean the whole time just making jabs, and instead of telling the other dude to stop his racket, he told me to "fight back." In other words, I should go down to his level of insults. Well if you are a decent person who isn't skilled in insulting people for fun, it seems disgusting and revolting to act in such a manner, and besides that, unless you are a reprobate, you are not free to do such things for hours and days (you'd only embarrass yourself and give them more ammo). [And this guy was a filthy pervert who would whip out his penis when women were not around. He is also a banker making tons of money.]

I also should have known by the filthy things that always came out of his mouth too, like when he was making fun of the girl who he and his other two friends ran a train on all night long while I was passed out. He was even laughing at her (as he tells the story) when they were going into her. (She had a boyfriend too, and she was a very pretty skinny 18 yr old blonde.) And I never touched her.

(Sidenote: I even caught them in the act, and she saw me. But later on, she lied saying nothing happened, even knowing that I knew the truth. Talk about pathological liars. Will they enjoy their eternal destiny?)

I do wonder, the kind of people you attracted in your life... I can understand these sort of bad friends who bring mostly bad to you, from my time during the period where I strayed far from God and the church. But, really thinking of it, with the exception of one guy, who really toned down over the years, and who talks less to me anyway, since our interests are vastly, vastly different now compared to before, and our entire lifestyles, goals, etc, are too. Mind you, I'm not claiming to have tons and tons of friends and go out drinking and "getting chicks" every week, but I see my friends once in a while and we do something and it's OK, and no giant drama. I feel like since I became Christian, uh, again (well, hard to explain, but had a lapse in faith during middle school and high school) I've not attracted really any of these very terrible types of people you describe. But when I'd lapsed, I did get these kind of people in my life frequently. I understand you basically lapsed and only became serious about Christianity relatively recently. But your post made me think, and yeah, really looking back, since I came back to Christ (though I still struggle quite a lot) I've not had too many of these purposefully negative and malicious people enter my life under the guise of friends, especially having them stay a while. And obviously exceptions exist, but even for me as well, many strangers have been incredibly kind and great and gracious towards me, and acquaintances as well, USA and abroad. Again, not that bad people don't exist, but it seems like now in my life, they just don't mix, and it's like oil and water. Really thinking, this is something to be thankful to God for. But I'd not put the connection of two and two together before reading your post, Adama.

Thinking more, a friend, or acquaintance of mine here in USA, sort of just out of the blue, gave me a free running car, with almost no issues, and it's something I like as well. We'd spent some time together, actually didn't mesh too perfectly, and even disagreed and got into arguments before. But he just gave me a free car, just because he bought a new car, and his one offer on it for sale was to a kid who was gonna race it out, etc. He knew my car was pissing oil, so he just gave it to me. So really thinking, I know abroad, things are easier and better socially, and people are more open, less paranoid, etc. And in some countries, shit is less third world dirty and trashed up than America currently is (though this has nothing to do with making friends.) But thinking of my American friends, and how I've been helped by them over the years, it has been a lot, and I'm really thankful for it. Obviously, again, USA has other social problems galore, moreso than many other countries, but lots of people over the years here have helped me a lot, legitimately, and I can't discount this. I'd still rather be abroad for a lot of reasons, but I will miss a good deal of my friends and family here, when I do, God willing, leave.

The U.S.A. used to be a good country, more or less it's virtues outshadowed most negatives; that's how I felt. It was that tail- end of America post-Reaganesque which started what we really see today. I'm ashamed to be a part of this 'culture'. I'm American and I like my country, I've read a lot about it's origins tist hough...and I have to wonder.

Anyways, there is serious evil afoot here in this country... it's deceptive and insidious and its trickery. Young kids are not in the place to absorb and discern about harmful vs. wholesome or helpful and good info. To target youth is so wrong....
especially when they twist truth with deception and sell it. To my shame, I bought into it against my will, that is the power of deception and temptation's call in this country. They find ways to infiltrate the mind and get into you to make you pry apart - and tell you that it's good.
Seemingly intelligent people buy into that, they use pornography and sexual promiscuosneyss to break apart people - make shame based people. I'm ashamed of my part in this country, how I was affected. Yet I know I was a deliberate target of insidious lies and malevolence and that's why I'm so adament about it today.

I pray that the evil stops.

onethousandknives wrote:

Adama wrote:Be careful with people.

Has anyone ever asked someone for directions, and then later on they came to realize that the person(s) who gave them directions gave them the wrong directions intentionally? This happened to me twice when I was around 17 and going to take a placement test for college. I was literally steps away from the building, but asked a set of college students where the building was, and they sent me miles out of my way. That happened twice that day. I also lived with a man who did this to random strangers one night when we were out together. He just gave them the wrong directions on purpose. And when I asked him why, he just said not to worry and that everything was going to be okay.

But what's the point? I never understood it. My point though, is that for most of my adult life, I had a friend who was also doing this to me but with other things. He would offer to help me, but his help was just the semblance of help. Really he just enjoyed watching me spin my wheels and get nowhere.

I hadnt talked to this person since October. On April first (the fool's day) he sent my mother a message on Facebook asking her about me. I just wondered, how in the world did he get her info. Apparently he used one of those websites that track people that employers use. In other words, he couldn't take the hint when I blocked him on FB and changed my phone number. He went into stalker mode, because he lost his narcissistic supply.

Looking back, his other friend made fun of me when I went to visit him in his house. I mean the whole time just making jabs, and instead of telling the other dude to stop his racket, he told me to "fight back." In other words, I should go down to his level of insults. Well if you are a decent person who isn't skilled in insulting people for fun, it seems disgusting and revolting to act in such a manner, and besides that, unless you are a reprobate, you are not free to do such things for hours and days (you'd only embarrass yourself and give them more ammo). [And this guy was a filthy pervert who would whip out his penis when women were not around. He is also a banker making tons of money.]

I also should have known by the filthy things that always came out of his mouth too, like when he was making fun of the girl who he and his other two friends ran a train on all night long while I was passed out. He was even laughing at her (as he tells the story) when they were going into her. (She had a boyfriend too, and she was a very pretty skinny 18 yr old blonde.) And I never touched her.

(Sidenote: I even caught them in the act, and she saw me. But later on, she lied saying nothing happened, even knowing that I knew the truth. Talk about pathological liars. Will they enjoy their eternal destiny?)

I do wonder, the kind of people you attracted in your life... I can understand these sort of bad friends who bring mostly bad to you, from my time during the period where I strayed far from God and the church. But, really thinking of it, with the exception of one guy, who really toned down over the years, and who talks less to me anyway, since our interests are vastly, vastly different now compared to before, and our entire lifestyles, goals, etc, are too. Mind you, I'm not claiming to have tons and tons of friends and go out drinking and "getting chicks" every week, but I see my friends once in a while and we do something and it's OK, and no giant drama. I feel like since I became Christian, uh, again (well, hard to explain, but had a lapse in faith during middle school and high school) I've not attracted really any of these very terrible types of people you describe. But when I'd lapsed, I did get these kind of people in my life frequently. I understand you basically lapsed and only became serious about Christianity relatively recently. But your post made me think, and yeah, really looking back, since I came back to Christ (though I still struggle quite a lot) I've not had too many of these purposefully negative and malicious people enter my life under the guise of friends, especially having them stay a while. And obviously exceptions exist, but even for me as well, many strangers have been incredibly kind and great and gracious towards me, and acquaintances as well, USA and abroad. Again, not that bad people don't exist, but it seems like now in my life, they just don't mix, and it's like oil and water. Really thinking, this is something to be thankful to God for. But I'd not put the connection of two and two together before reading your post, Adama.

Thinking more, a friend, or acquaintance of mine here in USA, sort of just out of the blue, gave me a free running car, with almost no issues, and it's something I like as well. We'd spent some time together, actually didn't mesh too perfectly, and even disagreed and got into arguments before. But he just gave me a free car, just because he bought a new car, and his one offer on it for sale was to a kid who was gonna race it out, etc. He knew my car was pissing oil, so he just gave it to me. So really thinking, I know abroad, things are easier and better socially, and people are more open, less paranoid, etc. And in some countries, shit is less third world dirty and trashed up than America currently is (though this has nothing to do with making friends.) But thinking of my American friends, and how I've been helped by them over the years, it has been a lot, and I'm really thankful for it. Obviously, again, USA has other social problems galore, moreso than many other countries, but lots of people over the years here have helped me a lot, legitimately, and I can't discount this. I'd still rather be abroad for a lot of reasons, but I will miss a good deal of my friends and family here, when I do, God willing, leave.

I am hardly the only one. I am just one of the few who understands what's going on.

I remember being told a story by one man who was in the army. He said that two other guys in his unit were extremely tall, probably over 6'4'', and that the other guys made fun of them relentlessly daily and had those two tall guys in tears. This is spiritual murder, committed by those who seek death. That kind of insult will make a person a reprobate or it will shorten their lives.

Scripture is clear. Jesus said it Himself. If you say to your brother Thou fool, you are in danger of hellfire. This is in the context of murder, if you look at the verse right before it, which has a colon, meaning part of the same sentence and thought as murder. In other words, insults are spiritual weapons of death. Poor souls use them daily and condemn themselves with their words.

Childhood bullies are like this too. Just it doesn't really end after High School. High School is just where they learn.

Now some of the real sociopaths will pretend to be your friend while slandering you behind your back and trying to confuse you to your face. This same friend, whenever I would talk about my success with women, would tell me that I was abnormal or otherwise try to confuse me by saying or implying what I did was bad. He was putting bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter, intentionally trying to confuse me and lead me down the wrong path. To confuse my conscience. This is some real stealth this guy was employing. And since I wasn't evil and had not yet woken up to these ravening wolves in plain sight, I had no idea. I thought of him as a brother, but really he was a secret enemy.

Even family members can be this way, making fun of me and my problems at the dinner table even. I stopped eating dinner with my family when I was a teenager. I just couldn't stand the constant derision. That is probably why I thought it was normal to have a friend who would do that to me. My own family made fun of me daily. That must be normal. People will tell you it is normal or that you're insane and taking things out of context, calling you paranoid or otherwise suffering from a persecution complex. No, these are just people who reject the truth of what's right in front of them, while insulting your intelligence and further sending you down the wormhole of confusion, confusing you by saying the unacceptable is normal. And if enough people tell you that, you're in for trouble, with no solid ground to stand on. That's how they work.

Adama did you ever try and understand why you keep attracting these broken, nasty or sociopathic people? Certainly these people are not the norm and most people are not as surrounded by it as you. I certainly rarely see this.

There was a time i kept attracting lame duck broken wing type women. Mostly they were nutters who made their own mess by their own behaviour. I realised nutters want a stable man to bail them out of their own mess. But they treat you nasty.

So eventually i just stopped dealing with nutter women. First tantrum i walk. I cannot fix them nor is it my role. I am not God to put them on the right path. If they want to have tantrums and behave nasty they can do it in front of the mirror as i dont want to see it, or they must seek direction and guidance from higher authority.

Eric wrote:The U.S.A. used to be a good country, more or less it's virtues outshadowed most negatives; that's how I felt. It was that tail- end of America post-Reaganesque which started what we really see today. I'm ashamed to be a part of this 'culture'. I'm American and I like my country, I've read a lot about it's origins tist hough...and I have to wonder.

Anyways, there is serious evil afoot here in this country... it's deceptive and insidious and its trickery. Young kids are not in the place to absorb and discern about harmful vs. wholesome or helpful and good info. To target youth is so wrong....
especially when they twist truth with deception and sell it. To my shame, I bought into it against my will, that is the power of deception and temptation's call in this country. They find ways to infiltrate the mind and get into you to make you pry apart - and tell you that it's good.

Well on an individual level it isn't just the USA. I am sure these evil people exist everywhere. But on the level of the governments, it may mostly be western governments. But then we know who are really in control of governments, the same who are in control of the media, the money and the rest of the culture. The spiritual children of Satan.

Yes, getting the youth is the key. The key is to destroy their sense of conscience when they're young. Unfortunately parents have the most influence and many parents have fallen for their lies and thereby destroy their children before those children even get a chance.

And if you escape their brainwashing, you're a weirdo, because they want to enforce conformity. How dare you not fall for the brainwashing and become absolutely evil like the rest of us?

Thanks be to God, I kept my soul. Most of the rest of them have already lost their souls. They love evil more than God and good things, which means they love death more than life. And so in the end they will have death, which is hell.