Customers are "randos"

[Kradmelder]

That's nonsense. It's a sales funnel. You need prospects. You can't just hope and pray the "right" customer will come along some day. You have to put yourself into a position to have maximum numbers of potential sales, because 90% of them will not work out. You don't have to wait around months or years to see if a new location will work out. If you aren't getting bites in the first week, it's no good. By the time you do meet someone you will be so desperate and needy you won't be in a good position to bargain from.

If you aren't going out with one new girl each week you need to make drastic changes to your situation or change your location. You need those numbers even if you are looking for just one steady partner.

The only thing I know in America that actually works is a part-time bartending job. Everything else is snakeoil and pop psychology.

Well.. how is that working out for you?

I am not saying your wrong, I am just telling you how I got my wife. I heard what your saying right now a million times from PUA types. Put yourself out there. Get numbers. Go on dating sites. For every 1000 girls you contact, 10 will say yes, from those 10, 9 will say no, and then by the power of numbers, that 1 special girl will say yes.

The problem with that theory, is you get 999 rejects which I don't think is good for anyone's self-esteem.

Well, you can do it that way if you think that is the path to success. I just told you mine. I prayed to the Lord, and the very same day I met my wife. But if you want to go through all that hassle I just described above, good luck bro.

I agree. It seems the ones that are dead set in their ways are not successful with women, yet think they have an answer. If a way of thinking is not working, try another.


I always had a string of women by never doing what i read here: having a shit job, PUA stuff, being a doos, putting myself 'out there etc. I cant recall the number but it is plenty. But I never got the right type. Either a decent woman who is not compatible, or trash women. Fit for sex but no more. That had become my pattern. sex but no more. So I was only meeting women suited for that. I only got a decent one that clicks when I changed my approach and did the opposite of my norm: move on when no sex after 3 encounters. I stuck it out, and found the main attraction wasn't get my dick wet but the many things we had in common. Also for the first time I prayed for the right reason. Not to get what I want in an entitlement way, but for God to send what is good for me and that i don't bugger it up. After I realised it could be right, I prayed, and next thing I know it went to a whole new level. No sex immediately but much more intimate. Then sex came with a bang. And all the other things men complain the wish they had: lunch packed, shared expenses, back scratches, respect, always asking what i want, meals cooked, help running my house etc. Months later not 1 complaint and certainly my life is even more happy than it was.

So maybe it sounds silly, especially if you are not Christian, but for me it worked. You can figure out the right way for you, or continue on what has been the wrong path. I am not saying what works for me will work for you. We are a different ages and cultures. But maybe it will help you find your way.

The people on here who are not getting women, well what is their opinion worth? certainly they are not doing the right thing for them.

[Nailer]

I worked another volunteer event in the food industry this weekend, and got another date tomorrow (presumably) with a cute blonde girl from the Midwest. That would not have happened if I went to the event as a customer, as the title of this thread states.

[Nailer]

Just went to a bar, talked to a group of girls, they suddenly all decided to leave. If you are not staff, you are a rapist / molester / terrorist.

This is really interesting. I'm seeing what Winston is saying all around me. Even if you get in with the right clique it really sucks you can't be open and direct with other citizens.

I live in a place that is 99.9999% white, and people are still terrified of each other.

[Kradmelder]

Just went to a bar, talked to a group of girls, they suddenly all decided to leave. If you are not staff, you are a rapist / molester / terrorist.

This is really interesting. I'm seeing what Winston is saying all around me. Even if you get in with the right clique it really sucks you can't be open and direct with other citizens.

I live in a place that is 99.9999% white, and people are still terrified of each other.

My son is a teen in high school, a private boys school. He often gets asked out by groups of girls as the only boy. I don't know how he meets them as there are no girls in his school. He is probably much closer to your age than I am. Maybe I will ask him. Getting together is better than sitting around texting.

Yesterday afternoon he went to one of their houses and he said the girls cooked food. All the girls are attractive and good family. I am not sure if that is normal for most boys now, but my son is a big well over 6 ft blonde kid so maybe he pulls them in.I tease him he only gets asked by girls because his dad owns bikes and takes him there by bike when I was that age mostly just guys got together. No girls.

What I notice is young people don't go out anymore to malls like they did a few years back. Nor do they get together and braai at night like we used to. Men braai and the women preparing dishes in the kitchen. These days it seems they go to a house in the afternoon and cook and go home early. The girls cook again. Like they did when I was that age. That seems like a positive sign.

Maybe I should tell him feel free to invite girls here and braai or cook then I can try and find out what young girls like to do these days. Will be a small sample and not in your country but maybe it will give you ideas. These days they do mix and he does socialise and play sport with black boys, but never mixes with black girls. He says it is just wrong.

[MrMan]

Kradmelder,

If it weren't for looking things up from the Internet, would be lost with your mix of Africaans and English. Braai apparently refers to having a barbecue.

[Kradmelder]

Kradmelder,

If it weren't for looking things up from the Internet, would be lost with your mix of Africaans and English. Braai apparently refers to having a barbecue.

That is because you don't speak proper south African English by God's grace . You call petrol a gas when it is actually a liquid. You call the Bonnet of a car a hood, when a hood is where black people live or what they put over their heads to look like gangsters.

And heavens forbid, you call whiskey a whisky and a woman' bum a fanny, when the fanny is actually the front hole

[MrMan]

Nailer, have you tried being introduced to waitresses instead of having to work with them?

In China, if you want to do some business with someone, someone who is in his social or business network as to introduce you. I'd imagine dating is similar.

In the old days in England, before you struck up a conversation with a woman in society, you should be introduced first (going by movies based off of old fiction books, which makes me an historical culture expert. )

[Adama]

I worked another volunteer event in the food industry this weekend, and got another date tomorrow (presumably) with a cute blonde girl from the Midwest. That would not have happened if I went to the event as a customer, as the title of this thread states.

Did you ask her or she asked you?

I think it is just that it takes American women some time to work up their confidence.

An American woman isn't necessarily going to open up right away. So many of them simply can't say yes to you when they first see you. They need their time to warm up to you in a closer setting.

Also, I think many women see other women who get picked up by a random guy as just being sluts. And they don't want to be like that. Or possibly they think the guy is a man-whore. So if you just go straight up to them without knowing, they might think you are just in it for the action.

And even many of them who are attracted to you initially don't want to waste the time to "get to know you" on an actual date. That might be a waste of time and energy. Much better to get to know someone a little before going on a date.

Actually are you really going on dates? That may be part of the problem right there. In some ways I look at things like this, just adding another person to the things that you normally do, whatever that is. In other words, continuing life as it always was, just with a tag along partner to go along with you. That's the way I dated most of the time. Sometimes I did actually go out, but that was rare.

It's not really a dating relationship for many people. It's more like adding a buddy to your schedule. Or more than likely if she really wants you, she will add you to her schedule.

[Adama]

Yes, the problem with American women is the introduction. After the introduction, if she wants you, she will do the work. It is just a matter of patience. Just play dumb. I know we're trained to pursue, but really it is the women who pursue often times. After the introduction, just sit back and relax. Be friendly and willing to engage in normal conversation. And if they are interested in you, they will ask you. That may seem like a violation of gender roles, but that is honestly how things work.

[Nailer]

I worked another volunteer event in the food industry this weekend, and got another date tomorrow (presumably) with a cute blonde girl from the Midwest. That would not have happened if I went to the event as a customer, as the title of this thread states.

Did you ask her or she asked you?

I think it is just that it takes American women some time to work up their confidence.

Actually are you really going on dates? That may be part of the problem right there. In some ways I look at things like this, just adding another person to the things that you normally do, whatever that is. In other words, continuing life as it always was, just with a tag along partner to go along with you. That's the way I dated most of the time. Sometimes I did actually go out, but that was rare.

It's not really a dating relationship for many people. It's more like adding a buddy to your schedule. Or more than likely if she really wants you, she will add you to her schedule.

Okay, so I have to constantly maintain a schedule of fun things I am doing with friends, and hope that everyone happens to want to hang out on the same day? How often are the stars going to align like that, like once a year? I can't even get another guy to go hiking. I haven't been hiking in years. "Just add another person"? How do you even get started when no one even wants a single guy around?

The Midwest girl seems to have ghosted after she suggested we get together today. Clearly, there is a hidden social norm I must have violated by not texting the exact right thing overnight, and It is all my fault.

An American woman isn't necessarily going to open up right away. So many of them simply can't say yes to you when they first see you. They need their time to warm up to you in a closer setting.

Also, I think many women see other women who get picked up by a random guy as just being sluts. And they don't want to be like that. Or possibly they think the guy is a man-whore. So if you just go straight up to them without knowing, they might think you are just in it for the action.

And even many of them who are attracted to you initially don't want to waste the time to "get to know you" on an actual date. That might be a waste of time and energy. Much better to get to know someone a little before going on a date.

This is a good description why bartenders and waiters get more p***y than lawyers and doctors.

[Adama]

Whenever I tried dating it never worked. But when I hung out with the woman the same way I would a male buddy, it worked much better and more often. When we were just hanging out doing whatever we might normally do, instead of officially dating (not that dating was avoided, just that it was incidental and later).

Whenever a woman flakes I see it as her not being the right person.

But I hope you weren't blowing up her phone, putting you in the feminine position.

[Nailer]

Whenever I tried dating it never worked. But when I hung out with the woman the same way I would a male buddy, it worked much better and more often. When we were just hanging out doing whatever we might normally do, instead of officially dating (not that dating was avoided, just that it was incidental and later).

Whenever a woman flakes I see it as her not being the right person.

But I hope you weren't blowing up her phone, putting you in the feminine position.

Yeah, I don't really go on "dates". The first time I get together with a girl is super casual. She actually texted me back and forth pretty actively yesterday and it was very balanced. No, I didn't do anything stupid like send twenty messages or ask what she wanted to name our children.

[Adama]

That's the whole thing. They will build you up just for fun. And it is even more fun to randomly drop you. That's not you. It's them. Don't take it personally. That's them.

[Nailer]

That's the whole thing. They will build you up just for fun. And it is even more fun to randomly drop you. That's not you. It's them. Don't take it personally. That's them.

I've got her on the line now. I've seen this before. It's just one of those power struggle things where you have to prove you're willing to walk away. I'm going to f**k this bitch in the ass within two weeks. I already have a premonition of her jiggling butt cheeks.

[Nailer]

Why do you not see educated professionals whining they have no women?

I personally know 6 right now. No prospects. All the attractive girls are dating "fun" guys.