Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Vent your rants and raves here about whatever makes you mad, angry or frustrated.
I had a conversation recently with an ex-girlfriend (who I dumped) who was complaining about guys not having "any game". It was kind of weird to hear that from her since she is as non-ghetto as you can get (actually a European girl who has been Americanized).
Here's the typical PUA advice and how it just breaks down to just jumping through more hoops for women.
It takes YEARS of hard work to build enough muscle to be even noticeable under a shirt. It's not natural, takes too long, and shouldn't be needed. Oh, you're also supposed to BS yourself and pretend you are doing it "for yourself". Running, rowing, lifting a bit to stay in good health? Yes, I do that for myself. Body-building? Hell no, why would I want to spend my time and energy on that? It's a waste of time.
Yet the "alpha" PUA types say our first order of business is to kill ourselves in the gym for years at a time. And if you can't / won't build the body of a professional athlete in your spare time, sorry buddy you don't deserve to reproduce.
Behave in Entertaining but Socially Taboo Ways
Basically, all pickup means to behave in a socially taboo manner and be cocky / funny. If a girl likes you, "pickup" is a breeze. All you have to do is have a short awkward conversation, and if she likes you, you only have to worry about not saying anything weird or negative. I wonder if some of these guys have ever had a girl actually express interest in them, and if they know how damn easy it is when a girl likes you. Basically all you have to do is drop hints to make yourself sound interesting and she'll eat it up.
Women love it when a guy is dominant / inappropriate because it gives the woman all the power. She can call you out on your bad behavior at any point. It gives her leverage. What she doesn't like is a man who behaves in an assertive manner that cannot be criticized. In the BDSM community, the "sub" or subordinant has all the power. The rape scene in the movie/book "Choke" illustrates this to a comical point.
Maintain your Frame
Basically this says that relationships are 100% one-sided and the man is just there to provide emotional support, entertainment, and act like a parent. When it is wanted. Until it isn't. In my experience, putting your foot down on the smallest thing is the fastest way to "goodbye". If you have to deal with a petulant little child, something is seriously wrong. Basically, this lets women off the hook and says they aren't responsible for any of their actions.
All of this just boils down to supplicating the whims of demanding women at the expense of your own sanity and happiness. These are some of the reasons I don't read the "manosphere" stuff and I think ultimately it's just a lot of overanalyzing with no value.
Coming back to life.
Lol spot on 100%. Some have the effrontery to turn around and say they have "game", "leadership" etc haha
This goes back to the previous point, if you are liked, or the chick is half decent at least, you don't have to eggshell-walk trying to avoid "mistakes" that make you "weak".
There are some things from "PUA" that are common sense of course, but they have sort of appropriated it.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
Most men say that the man is the hunter. I disagree with that. Hunter is a rather primitive strategy, employed by savages, or those who live in subsistence. From the start men were farmers and herders of animals. No need to hunt. It's a poor strategy, especially considering the energy requirements, danger involved and its inconsistency and unreliability.
Most of the time when I had a girlfriend or hooked up with a woman, after I made the introduction (still got to do that part sometimes but even then not always, sometimes you just got to sit next to them and they'll start the conversation if they aren't too too shy), the woman did all the work to get me, if she wanted me. Just like it is the woman who are always putting on relationship pressure.
And most of the time when I was doing my best to get the woman, jumping through hoops and giving chase, it resulted in the woman flaking. I can't think of a single woman that I pursued that I actually caught. Chasing must mean that they are running. Away. Most of them don't want to be caught. They are just playing a game for their amusement, to see if you want them, then they've gotten the ego boost, and it's over. That is, unless you want to get teased again, and chase her again, to have her flake again.
I prefer the less is more strategy. The less you do, the more you'll know she really wants you. It forces them to give chase if they're interested. Especially since 99% of the other men are employing the hunter strategy.
And when you think about it, it makes sense. The woman who are honest are going to reach out and meet you halfway. Whereas the devious women who are looking for ego boosts are going to lead you on and make things difficult for you, as they delight in you doing all those things to get them, as if they're worth all that wasted effort. And they'll keep you in that cycle of attraction and rejection as long as you as the man give chase. I don't believe women who want to be pursued truly want to be caught. I think they just like that men pursue them.
I don't think you can learn much from PUA. The only way you can learn is from your own experiences with women. What have women done for you without you asking them? But that takes a mind that isn't defiled.
That's why I always say, go back in your mind to look for patterns of behavior which women have shown you. Because those things will teach you what you should be doing, if you can see them.
By remembering what has happened in the past that worked, and what didn't work, I know what works and what doesn't work for me.
I don't mean to hijack a thread, but this is sort of related and it's how I feel. I feel that dating is a waste of time, is stupid...and it's kind of "disgusting". What I mean is, we're all thrown in a batch together, 'the pool' and we're expected to date each other on a rotunda of switching partners every week, or every other day... I've always felt this way about dating, ever since I was a teenager.
There came a point where I just dipped out of the scene, and I'd never got back in it.
I don't like the idea of using some girl that 99 other guys have dated and then left, it's like we're all recycling each other, and that's a disgusting idea to me. I suppose that "I'm weird" because of that...but I don't care, really. I've even felt that way since a teenager.
Just the idea of seeing somebody different every week - it seems disingenuous, disgusting and shallow to me. But, it's common apparently, and most people, men and women hook up that way...by "dating." Maybe I should get over myself, and get back in the scene somehow.
I'm sick of being solo and single. I've been so for years....but that's what happens when you refuse to play by the rules.
I think PUA is a bunch of shit, because it's contrived, manufactured and forced - AND that will come through. It doesn't even sound like a good idea...and common sense speaks up. How about learn how to talk to girls?
PUA is dumb.
I don't like and recognize the idea of "dating" as shallow...it always seemed to me, like Someone was like...okay, let's just throw all these people into a batch together, and this is for Cretans. It's like Wal Mart...there's got to be a better way...
yet I go out and try to "hook up" with girls. Some things don't make sense, but that's how I feel. If I want to just hook up, rather than "fake" it by a half assed attempt, or by "dating". Unfortunately - that's not how the vast majority of females think, so guys are suckered into this 'dating' bullshit.... where everyone's lying, it's expected, and known....and it's just so superficial and fake.
Last edited by Eric on March 28th, 2017, 1:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.
This guy doesn't hit it exactly - but it's sort of how I feel...
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.
It is just like with men. Some people click with you and some don't. With compatible women you will click easily if you are just yourself. What makes it more difficult is there must be physical attraction as well. You go wrong when you let physical attraction alone, or how easy it is to get a pomp, guide you and ignore your gut feel. With every bad relationship, you must have noticed the red flags and chose to ignore them. When it is right you get no red flags even if you look for them.
Men can judge men easy. use your same radar to judge women and then factor in if the attraction is also there to warrant going forward. if not, she is just a nice lady. If the gut feel is wrong, she is not compatible, so let some other sucker stick his dick in her.
Don't pursue after sex. Take sex off the table. Things will become clear when a man can do that. I find that if I just hang out with a woman on her terms, she will come around if she wants to. Pursuing and chasing a woman puts all the power on her side. Don't do anything, and the man retains all his power. If she wants him, then she will do what she has to do to get him, if he doesn't try to do it himself. Patience is required.
Dating is an illegitimate form of relationship. God didn't design humans to date. If you read your Bible, you will not see any instances of any people dating. God gave them their wives. And even sometimes they became the men's wives on the same day they met.
I truly believe dating was invented recently in the last century or so, with the advent of High school and adolescence, to get people to fornicate for 10 years or so before they get married. After people get used to fornicating with dozens of people for a dozen years, they get married to one person. That makes it easier to divorce, since they are used to having sex with new partners every so often. When they get divorced, they just resume "dating". And I bet if people could get married earlier in life, much earlier, then everyone would already have their partners, and divorce would be uncommon.
Yeah, the more I think about this, the answer isn't "self-improvement". The answer is to broaden your social connections and greatly increase your exposure to others. You have to find the right kinds of things to be involved with that give you exposure to many attractive women, so that if one acts up you can easily replace her.
Bulking up, studying "game", and learning to chop wood aren't going to change anything. You have to have a broad social circle in a location with lots of attractive women.
You're probably good enough right now, but how is anyone ever going to find out if you're just an anonymous member of the public?
Winston has described really well how the U.S. is 100% cliquish and talking to strangers is taboo. You have to take extreme action to overcome that, even to the point of changing careers just so you can have a life and romantic options. If you aren't in a situation where you talk to 100 new girls a week (not just hitting on them, you have to have a reason) then you're leaving your fate to chance and you probably won't get good results.
If she hasn't seen you on two previous occasions already, and the seed of interest isn't already planted in her mind, your chances are pretty slim.
If she doesn't know anything about how well-respected you are in a group, your chances are pretty slim.
If she doesn't already feel a little comfortable with you, your chances are pretty slim.
If all you do is go out in public as a "customer", you're never going to see the same person twice and your chances are pretty slim.
It is possible to pick up girls in bars, coffee shops, art festivals, etc. but if that's all you have to rely on you're going to go mad. These are also the kind of chicks that will drop you like a hat, since they are in the habit of saying yes to anyone new or interesting.
Coming back to life.
Although this opinion sounds a bit over the top from Adama, there is some truth in it.
I think dating became popular because of feminism, as men outnumber women in most cases. Dating gives women a wide choice to accept and reject men for short-term (even only for one night) and long-term (a few months or so) and then look out for the next man, who offers more money or other advantages - the problem is however the age for these females - time is a mighty factor and is working slowly but persistently against women.
Regardless if you are religious or not, dating is not a good way for men to meet women - who often choose thugs and other useless men as their favorites, while ordinary honest men remain lonely.
But what is the alternative in Western countries? Not dating at all? MGTOW? Well, many men do that now.
You meet women in many places. Half the world is female. The advantage of seeing the same ones frequent is they are not afraid when you ask them out, like in Internet dating. They know what you look like and your habits, status, and you have greeted or talked to each other before and she is comfortable around you. She may say yes or politely say no. Not a rude rejection as you see each other regular.
But what is dating? How is it new? No matter how you meet women you must do something with them, which is dating. Our grandparents also did it. It is so not some new feminist thing. They just called it courting or something else. You met women, Met one you liked and asked to call at her home. If you didn't get on, you call elsewhere.
The advantage of knowing them before is you can ask them home for dinner or a braai. You can't with a stranger on internet or that you picked up.
I always went this route before. I did not want to take them out. I never wanted to take them for dinner or to a movie or such. Only to the bedroom, so I invited them home. If no sex came soon i moved on. I got much sex this way but no suitable woman. There was no shortage of willing heifers and would change them a few times a year if relationshit noises.
As Adama says, when sex became not the purpose, rather doing things and making dinner with a woman whose company was a lot of fun, laughing, joking, flirting etc then I found decent. Even with no sex it was fun. Sex just comes later but was not the main focus. After marriage if that is what you adhere to. It doesn't matter as sex is not the main focus of being with them and it is fun without sex. And for me it is much better sex than with the ones only there for sex and nothing else.
It could be some of the earlier ones were also decent but because I only wanted sex I wasn't even interested in knowing the person. But if they were willing to engage in regular sex with no other activities, just pomp and go, then probably not.
Isn't this also dating? A process of meeting lots of women, finding what works for you and go for that. Women do exactly the same. I found what works best for me is not pomp and go but women that refuse to do that and wait until they know there is a compatible future with this man and you are happy together in day to day things, not just fun dates. The time together is fun, as much fun as riding my bikes, not just sex. The pomp and go types I would always prefer to go riding. The sex and the heifer can wait.
No matter where you meet them you must go through this process of meet, call, evaluate and rate, unless you negotiate to buy a wife you never met. Sure it is a time consuming painfully process of wading through many kak heifers. But there is no other way. It is better than becoming some whining faggosphere faggot complaining that you get no sex and no women and blaming the world for that. The world doesn't care. MGTOW faggotry only means there are more women for the rest of us, to even the odds for all the trash heifers you don't want. Let them bum f**k each other on the Internet about their miserable state. That means the rest of us have more available women to choose from.
Yes, this has been the general trend for centuries, to empower women, and to destroy the authority of the man and the sanctity of marriage. We are almost at the end of this present age, as you see, they have destroyed marriage and the authority which the husband holds as father and lord of his household.
Now we have homosexual marriage and adoption of children, the rise of the transsexuals, and men put in prison for child support payments and accusations of marital rape against their own wives, when the husband and wife are one flesh, and one can't deny the other.
They've been slowly implementing this over centuries and now we are at the place where they've wanted: Men are destroyed, the family is destroyed, heterosexuality is destroyed, perversion is exalted as normal.
If you have heard of Sodom and Gomorrah, it is said that the End of Days will be like that: the whole society filled with homosexuals who want to rape. We are practically at this point now.
It is clear to me liberalism has divided apart the sexes. It appears that when you are "liberated" you are free, and happy...there is no responsibility, but that you are also liberated from the opposite gender. What I mean is, you have no responsibility to the other gender...and seeing them reminds you that you must be observant and careful to not offend, not bother.... not intrude on their liberty, to be free of you.
That's why you see these ultra happy power walking females, the smiling free men....when they cross paths just ignore each other as best they can.
Thats why people seem divided - they are; that's also why many are homosexual now.
I believe, it's become clear to me - as much as I didn't want to believe this... liberalism is just a tool being used to destroy a society. It causes irresponsibility, production of productivity, softness/ weakness...people get soft and flabby, partying all the time. Relationships stop - as the dividing between the genders is the greatest effect of liberalism (maybe that way was planned) ....and relationships between sexes stop happening; "blatant" homosexuality proliferates.
People are in effect homosexual - homosexual means unable to form lasting or meaningful relationships with the opposite sex.
Another effect when people realize this, is the PUA crap, and this is really bad. It typically means guys and girls take a predatory stance towards each other, this is another step down the ladder to destruction and hate/division. It spoils the water, now means that men will manipulate women for their own ends, essentially becoming dark entities ....becoming dark. It doesn't feel good, and this is really bad.
Society is fragmenting beyond levels, PUA is another level of that fragmentation, so don't go down that road. Tom Leykis is a Jew who has his own radio program on how to pick up women. This sleaze bag, uknowingly to most of his North American followers who have resorted to liberalism and frustrated with women) do not realize he is Jewish...they don't see his point of view, that he is a Jewish man who is essentially praying on, using, manipulating and spitting on non-Jewish women...... to his own delight;
he is being paid to usher in and propagate this further arm of societal degradation ......
his fans American degenerates who have no idea of this sinister angle of how he sees it - that he is hiding it from them by omission, and that these guys are now predators, scumbags who are lying to manipulate women all over.... lowering their self worth and making them completely loath degenerates.
At least for Leykis is Jewish, he's reaping his b***y off of other nations as much as he can.....he is a soldier for the Jews, doing his duty.
The PUA's are doing this to their own people, however unknowingly following blindly; traitors and they know it, these "people" are degenerate filth.
Most Israeli Jews are more religious and even more observant than American Jews (many who are grist for the mill I believe)... American Jews have been used maybe. Fully 1/4 Jews havent finished high school in Israel, while 90% of Jews in America are highly 'educated in the system' (indoctrination and brainwashing). This means one thing: given how much value education and learning is given to Jewish population - why would they not attend high school? Because high school is for the goyim. They learn in religious studies in their own way, this is what I think.
There is a game afoot and the Jewish leadership elite are willing to sacrifice American Jews. 5.5 million Jews is a sizable amount... I guess they were given to chance to go to the Jewish state, they declined, so this is their consequence?
There is a despotic Jewish elite that rules even the Jews themselves, telling them what to do and trying to dictate where and when everyone lives - they try and herd the Jewish population.
Only half of people in Israel believe in God, which means the other half 50% of Jews in Israel don't believe in God....they believe in Zionism, which is in the ultimate power of Jewish people;
you should be scared, this means they will resort to anything, and have done so already (Holodomir, Bolsheviks and Cammisars).
Who are these people? I don't know, they tend on being super secret... highly powerful and ruthless psychopathic personalities. They tend to be the Jewish intellectuals that occupy high places. I'm not sure who they are -but they exist, and are willing to do anything; anything for "their people".
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.
The Rothschilds are the top of the pyramid.