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Weekend evening dilemma

Vent your rants and raves here about whatever makes you mad, angry or frustrated.

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Joined: September 12th, 2010, 11:15 pm

Weekend evening dilemma

Post by mattyman » April 14th, 2017, 9:20 pm

Ever been in this situation, you really want to go out and meet new people, but have no-one to meet up with, your friends are being flaky, boring home-buddies or have moved away. You're left with two equally unpleasant choices; be cooped-in or go to a pub on your own (no thanks). If only I was in a city where there were things to do in the evening that didn't require friends to tag along with, such as salsa events, games nights, language exchanges and places where I know people I know congregate that I can just drop into without the hassle of making plans. That would be great. I am of the knowledge that even people with gigantic social circle are occasionally cast into this situation. It sucks that if there;s no-one available to meet up with, there's nothing to do but go to pubs on your own.

I think I hit the nail on the head for why the social scene is so terrible and non-single-friendly; lack of things to drop into that don't require you to go with someone. I would even argue that social isolation is FORCED for a lot of people (whether going to sit in a noisy pub alone could be consider a 'choice' is debatable, for a large segment of the population, I think not). If those third choices were an option locally, then social isolation would be a choice.

At least in some cities out there in some countries, if you don't want to stay in and have no-one available to go out with, you're not forced to against your will. There is at least a CHOICE of things to do.

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Re: Weekend evening dilemma

Post by Nailer » April 17th, 2017, 12:03 am

It's okay to go to bars alone at happy hour, and people will be at ease and more open. You'll typically see the same people after a while.

Sunday-Thursday evening, it's okay to go to a coffee shop and read a book, but that's pretty much the only option. You can't really go out alone Friday or Saturday evening because not having any plans with other people those nights makes you a loser. I don't know, maybe a coffee shop on a Friday night is a great place to chat up a lonely studious girl.

A sports league or running club can be an okay place to make friends, but you won't meet girls there.

Of course if you have a job as a waiter, bartender, cashier, or other customer-facing position you can go to work and talk to hundreds of people a few nights a week, and get paid for it. Just being a cashier at a hip book store will get you a constant flow of people to talk to and things to do. Once I found that, I stopped hanging around coffee shops and bars spending money and trying to make things happen when everyone around me was obviously lonely but fiercely antisocial. I stay at home most of the time now, because going out and spending money is not worth it.

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