Some more bashing of platitudes for single people

[mattyman]

If you rarely get to meet or date new women, you're probably want to know how you can meet new women on a more regular and consistent basis. I'm guessing you want to meet grls your age, you're wondering how you can increase your chances of meeting someone who's single and likely to be on the same wavelength as you. I don't see anything wrong, needy or desperate with wanting and aspiring to improve your lot. Perhaps you're concerned that love may never be a possibility because you see so many factors stacked against you.

It's likely that you're not looking for the one' but would simply like to start dating, hanging out with new women and meeting and mixing with new people. At the same time you're probably concerned that love will never be a possibility for your in the future, maybe you have little grounds to believe, or that there's so many factors stacked against you. If either of this is the case, you've probably had friends putting on the broken record and giving out these useless, if not harmful cliches;
[*]You should just enjoy your own company, make do with being single
[*]No one will love you unless you love yourself (so you deserve not to be loved because you are starting to wonder that something is wrong with you and are blaming yourself?)
[*]It will happen when you least expect it (I'm guessing that you couldn't be expecting 'it' any less than you are now, so I'm alright, no amount of not expecting it will change anything if you never get to meet new women will it?)
[*]If you don't love yourself you'll end up being needy and drive people away (that really is an encouraging thing to say, don't even bother, give up now)
[*]You'll find someone (what grounds has one got to believe that?)
[*]You won't be happy in a relationship (usually comes from people who're cynical & disillusioned with relationships in general)
[*]Don't go looking, it means you're desperate
[*]A relationship won't cure your problems (What an insulting presumption!)
[*]You're too picky (hmm, if you express that you'll date anything, you get accused of 'low self-esteem', if you express preferences and standards, you get this nonsense, you cannot win)
[*]You're too negative (no, expressing social frustrations and concerns about future prospects of love does not make one a negative person, and shouldn't be used as grounds to insunuate and criticise that one is negative and ff-putting all the time. If you don't have time to listen or don't know what to say; saying 'I really don't know what to say I wish I could help' is the best approach)

Anyone notice anything? A lot of that so-called 'consolation' is actually pretty negative and cynical. That's the LAST thing someone who's either frustrated, or concerned that they may never find love needs. How ironic that peopel wll accuse you, the single person for being negative, when a lot of what they spout out isn't exactly all that positive either.

I believe that;
[*]You don't need to love yourself to the degree that you no longer experience loneliness in order to date. You just need to express that wonderful self you already are
[*]There is nothing wrong or desperate about pragmatism; seeking out opportunities where you're likely to meet girls your own age, who are likely to have the same interests as you, that's common sense (f**k you 'don't go looking' brigade)
[*]Getting fed up with you're own company and wishing you had someone to share it with is a human need, it's not a sign of weakness, it doesn't mean that you 'need' people or that you're undatable, especially if your social life is rubbish. Even so, being open about what your needs and vulnerabilities is probably one of the key things about building up trust (all those people who say they're feeling more confident when they're in relationships, yet who lecture to single people that they should be at a level where they don't need other people in their lives in order to be dateable, I'd like to see if they're really as tough without their partner)
[*]There is nothing wrong, desperate or needy in hoping that any action to expand your social circle will open up the door to meeting new girls of the right type who are single
[*]It is not unreasonable to expect relationships, specifically the right relationships will make you happy and contented, nor aspire to achieve that (screw yourself, 'just make do with your lot' crowd)
[*]Even if loneliness has gotten you down and you're wondering 'what's wrong with me' and you're starting to dislike a part of yourself that you see as responsible, that doesn't make you undatable and unattractive. We all have insecurities and I would argue that the ability to be open about them is something that's key. Truth is nobody truly loves themselves, not even those people who preach the cliche. If anything, my advice is probably the bes incarnation of this cliche
[*]There's nothing wrong with having preferences of the type of person you'd like to be in a relationship with and there is nothing to be ashamed about for expressing that

Notice MY versions of the conventional advice, They're a lot more positive aren't they?

Why do so many people give out rubbish, patronising, and at times, damaging advice? Narcissism, not knowing what to say, arrogance?

[jamesbond]

Most people give out terrible dating advice, especially women who try to give men dating advice.

The best dating advice for men living in western countries is to travel to non western countries in order to meet quality women.