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Do you get a bad negative vibe in countries you don't fit in?

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Do you get a bad negative vibe in countries you don't fit in?

Post by Winston » November 28th, 2017, 1:28 pm

Do you guys notice that when you're in a country or culture you dont fit into and dont belong in, you get bad negative vibes from the people and social atmosphere? Vibes that tell you you're a loser and weirdo who is unwanted, unaccepted and disliked? Doesnt that f**k up your self esteem and confidence after a while? Like kryptonite does to Superman? Thats how i feel in America and Taiwan.

You get negative vibes from people and going out feels awkward and draining and exhausting and boring. Its like everywhere u go u feel this bad vibe from people that tells u "you dont belong here. We dont like u. Youre a weirdo and freak. You and us are like oil and water, matter and antimatter". You know what i mean? Do u experience that too when ur a total misit somewhere where u have nothing in common with people there?

In China, even though i dont agree with everything or like everything, at least there is some synergy and chemistry with people, which creates energy. Thus the vibe feels better and going out doesn't feel weird or awkward. You dont get that "you dont belong here, we dont like u" etc. type of vibe from everyone.

Know what i mean? Have u experienced that too?

Why do i get bad vibes from countries that i dont fit into at all? Its like people are subconsciously telling me that they dislike me and that there's something wrong with me. its very ego deflating.

Dont you also hate that vibe in america that tells you that theres nothing to do but work work work and that thats the norm and youre supposed to want to do that too? Lol. As if thats a given? And life has no other purpose? And u have no purpose without your job of servitude to the economy?

Have all noticed that young people, especially young asians, usually suck at observing people and reading people? Usually older people and elderly people are better at it. Young people cannot say anything except "people here are friendly" and have no insights beyond that. Why are young people so dumb?

I guess since we are better at observing people, maybe we are older souls?

Isnt it the most ego deflating thing when people dislike u not for anything u did but simply because they dont like who you are? Its the worst feeling. Most invalidating feeling.

I get the sense that our thoughts make us different so that we have a different aura and vibe. People can sense it. People sense that we arent liberals and dont care what others think and we believe women should be traditional women, etc and we dont buy into this complete equality and female superiority crap. So we carry a different vibe than others. And people feel it so they dont like us.

I have a theory. Just like some people are immune to hypnosis, some are immune to brainwashing too. So perhaps we are misfits because we are immune to brainwashing of US media. Thus we were not properly socialized and conditioned. So their brainwashing didnt work on us. Thats what made us misfits.

What u think of my theory?

I mean average people are brainwashed to believe that all of reality must be politically correct and leftist and socialist. But the brainwashing failed on us. We have some immunity to it. Thus we were turned misfits because we couldn't be brainwashed and conditioned to be like everyone else.
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Re: Do you get a bad negative vibe in countries you don't fit in?

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » November 28th, 2017, 4:11 pm

I don't know that I "fit in" anywhere in the world, but not fitting in often translates into a positive vibe or extra positive attention.

The only places I received negative vibes from not fitting in are:

Puerto Rico
Tunisia
Morocco
Jordan
Turkey
*Azerbaijan
France
Saint Martin/Sint Maarten
USA
Canada
*Japan
South Korea
Singapore
*Albania
Greece
*Malta
Bulgaria
*Croatia
Switzerland
*West Africa
*Peru
Uruguay
*Argentina
Guatemala
*Mexico
*Central Asian 'Stans
Austria

This seems like a large list, but it is a small sample of the countries 130 or so countries I've visited. The countries with asterisks are special cases where many locals don't even fit in so I had a great time there including with the women who felt freer with the fact that I am a foreigner.

The lesson here is that there are many places where you will not fit in but you will be treated well and you will love it. The countries on the list without asterisks were socially rotten places. I might go back to Singapore, but only for the cuisine not the social environment.

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Re: Do you get a bad negative vibe in countries you don't fit in?

Post by Winston » November 28th, 2017, 4:18 pm

What do you mean CE? If you don't fit in at all, into the culture or social culture, you won't be liked at all. You will get bad vibes from people too. If you mean you stand out or look different, and get more attention from it, well that's not what I'm talking about. I mean when you have no chemistry or synergy with a culture or people, like I do with Taiwan. Some countries where you are different give you no attention, only alienation. Others give you lots of attention from curious onlookers. In some countries people don't like anyone they don't know and ignore all strangers. How is that a positive vibe? I don't get it.

In such countries, if you aren't part of a social clique, you feel like a loser and won't be able to meet people, because those are exclusive countries where you have to ALREADY have friends in order to meet more friends. You can't be a lone guy and meet new people or make new friends. This is true of North America and Taiwan. Not as true of Europe, Russia or China, where people are more open to meeting new people and are curious about others. You see what I mean?

I may be different than everyone else in a country like Russia, but I have chemistry there because women are approachable, flirtatious and like talking to strangers, like me. But I'm not like the men there because I don't drink vodka or act macho. But I get lots of attention there. And people are direct and straightforward and authentic, like me. So we have some good connection. See what I mean? When I talk about not fitting in, I mean countries where you are ignored and disliked and get no attention at all, but are ignored. And nothing good happens to you like chance encounters with girls you end up dating, etc. So perhaps you misunderstood what I meant by "not fitting in".

Btw, where did you get the money to visit so many countries? Wow.
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Re: Do you get a bad negative vibe in countries you don't fit in?

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » November 28th, 2017, 10:37 pm

Winston wrote:
November 28th, 2017, 4:18 pm
What do you mean CE? If you don't fit in at all, into the culture or social culture, you won't be liked at all. You will get bad vibes from people too. If you mean you stand out or look different, and get more attention from it, well that's not what I'm talking about. I mean when you have no chemistry or synergy with a culture or people, like I do with Taiwan. Some countries where you are different give you no attention, only alienation. Others give you lots of attention from curious onlookers. In some countries people don't like anyone they don't know and ignore all strangers. How is that a positive vibe? I don't get it.
It is kind of hard to describe. In one particular Muslim country which shall go unnamed, I got very bad vibes from young men on the street and many older people. However, since that country was very restrictive with its women, I was very popular and successful with them and that made me love the place.

I don't see "fitting in" as an all or nothing proposition. I might not fit into the mainstream of a culture, but I might be very comfortable with a sub-culture or sub-group in that culture. For example, I don't like Turks generally, but Kurds, Kemalists, and counterculture Turks might be a different story altogether.
Winston wrote: In such countries, if you aren't part of a social clique, you feel like a loser and won't be able to meet people, because those are exclusive countries where you have to ALREADY have friends in order to meet more friends. You can't be a lone guy and meet new people or make new friends. This is true of North America and Taiwan. Not as true of Europe, Russia or China, where people are more open to meeting new people and are curious about others. You see what I mean?
Being an introvert and a Sigma male, I reject cliques entirely. I strongly prefer to go it alone and meet people alone rather than be with a group of people who are always trying to pull me back in the group. I find that I can meet people very easily by going out and engaging the women who interest me with idle conversation or foreign language use. From there, the accent intrigues them and conversation/interaction flows.
Winston wrote: When I talk about not fitting in, I mean countries where you are ignored and disliked and get no attention at all, but are ignored. And nothing good happens to you like chance encounters with girls you end up dating, etc. So perhaps you misunderstood what I meant by "not fitting in".
Those would be the countries on my list without the asterisks. Puerto Rico was the worst, but I got that vibe in Switzerland during a one day stopover also. Anglosphere countries also tend to be that way to varying extents. But I have a way of finding my niche by seeking out fellow travelers who are often feeling just as ignored. So it can still work.
Winston wrote: Btw, where did you get the money to visit so many countries? Wow.
My travels are from a combination of study abroad trips, work for Uncle Sam abroad, and personal travel in conjunction with the others. Whenever I was studying or working abroad, I would springboard to nearby countries whenever I had the chance. Now that I have retired early, I live on the road permanently as a perpetual traveler and I move every month or so. I was also big on extended layover trips just to see a new country.

Not to beat a dead horse, but a single man who has no wife, children, or debt, can save a huge amount by just remaining that way. It often baffles people who earn more because they don't realize that they have to SPEND more than the single man. Instead of furniture, school tuition, extra cars, etc, I just traveled....

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Re: Do you get a bad negative vibe in countries you don't fit in?

Post by pete98146 » November 28th, 2017, 11:21 pm

Yes! My father was career Air Force officer and as a young kid we lived in Germany. Even though I was a young buck, I could tell that Germany's ultra rigid, strict, formal and stern atmosphere was not for me! Even today when I see tourists from Germany who are travelling abroad, they carry these same traits that I witnessed.

I'm more of a fun loving, easy going type of person. My personality and that of folks from Germany certainly don't mesh well.

P.S. I have met a few Germans that don't carry their typical personification but most I have met, do.

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Re: Do you get a bad negative vibe in countries you don't fit in?

Post by Winston » November 29th, 2017, 9:56 am

CE,
I dont think you understand what i mean. When you dont fit in, you wont be on the same wavelength as others. And you cannot even hold a decent conversation with anyone. Everyone seems so uptight and disinterested, like in America.

Conversations will be superficial and low quality. They will go nowhere. They will feel lifeless. Just like in Taiwan. Come here and you'll see. No one has any interest in making friends or even doing language exchange. People only care about privacy. Their self hating character rubs off negatively on you too. It takes away your confidence and drains your spirit. It causes feel shame, fear and guilt for no reason, just for the sake of it, which is f***ed up. Its like a virus that no one can identify or resist or try to fix. Its worse than words can describe.

How the f**k are you supposed to fit into that? By becoming an uptight self hating recluse who just wants to work and consume and be left alone? What will that accomplish? See what i mean?

@Falcon recently posted about this too.

Like you i dislike groups too, unless they're like minded. Its human nature to want to be part of a loving group. But i am good at meeting people alone. The problem is that in some places no one wants to talk to you. Everyone wants to be left alone. And it feels inappropriate to try to meet people. Have you been to Seattle or Washington state? Or Vancouver, Canada? Its like that there too. Yet Washington is beautiful and i love its scenery and nature environment.

Eventually it starts to kill your life force and spirit too. Energy is important. You need it to grow and evolve and stay motivated and to recharge easily. If its not there, you have a hard time moving and are prone to depression.

You see what i mean? You've been to many countries. You must know what i mean.

In Taiwan its even worse. The girls are hot to look at yet very cold and dont want to talk to you. And the self hating character and vibe there make you feel shame, guilt and fear all the time for no reason, just for the sake of it. Even if you resist it, it will keep trying without end. Its awful, worse than i can describe. Its very oppressive and toxic. And it makes you feel disabled, like your hands are tied and theres nothing you can do. Its the epitome of social tyranny. Has nothing to do with government, and all about the social vibe.

Its kind of like the toxic vibe in America that destroys your self esteem and keeps telling you "Youre not good enough! There's something wrong with you! You're a loser! The problem is you!" over and over without end. How can you have a good healthy self esteem with that? You know the US so you know what i mean right? If you have a soul and seek connection and authenticity, you will feel this toxic vibe the most.
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Re: Do you get a bad negative vibe in countries you don't fit in?

Post by E Irizarry R&B Singer » November 29th, 2017, 6:32 pm

Per denotation of CE's legend: * - not fitting in with the mainstream but got along with the sub-group that didn't fit into the mainstream either.

Here is my list:

*Brazil (even with Afro-Brazilian women I felt out of place, the prostitutes were cheap (I went to the low-end (thicker women) hole-in-the-walls) and let me have my way with them in bed)

*Peru (especially Trujillo, Peruanos hate their dark skin. Iquique Chileans are better, but Peruanos are the Mexicans of S. America bar-none. The beach town next to it I had better vibes like night and day)

*Mexico (southern MX (excluding Merida & Cancun) treated me well and cities in Veracruz, but the rest of the country including TJ I felt out of line/out of place)

Hong Kong (the only thing I liked was the Pakistani food in Kowloon from the immigrants likewise, albeit still expensive - even the African female pro's ignored me there)

*Thailand (because I cannot speak the language although I was beginning to recognize speech patterns in succinct dialogue, but got along with the pro's in the sub-culture)

*Australia (I rejected the mudshark culture full-stop there, which is not the norm hence a sub-cluture of Aussie. Mainstream didn't accept me...snobby like their American influence. I don't like non-Black women whom think I'm Black and only like me because they think that's what I am - I only broke that promise to myself once when this Persian girl that was stunning but was a mudshark that accosted me. Fcuk it. Pun intended.)

*Canada (because I mostly had access to mediocre non-Black women that weren't mixed that were from different cultures that even the mainstream dudes don't fancy but they were about a 5 or 6/10 scores! Canada has hot White women because their GMOs stick to their frames more curvier and healthier than their U.S. of Gay female counterparts - they are more feminist to non-Black men; they placate to Black and Mixed Race men that have their assets in order!! Just saying. I should know; I almost married a white Brazilian that looked Puerto Rican whom is from Toronto. Off-topic: Asian women are far less bigoted there than in the U.S. of Gay; things might have changed but Asian women will be with you in public - no worries. I had a Chinese girl's brother walk in on me and the Chinese girl fcking like horses and he said "Ooops me sorry" and treated me to free pizza-pizza for the rest of the relationship she and I were in . #1year That only ended because her mother didn't approve of me. Gee I wonder why.)

*Dominican Republic (although I speak the language well even despite DR's slangy dialect, classism and colorism is REAL in DR. Trujillo was a mother f***er that implemented that shit. Look at how Dominicans act in Orlando and in Washington Heights section of NYC. )

*Colombia (classist and must dress the part!!! One time I walked down the street in Bogotá in regular NY street summer clothes and women half my size wre snickering with no shame laughing. I felt so embarassed that when I went back to my hostel room to change into slacks and a dress shirt tucked in, the laughs stopped - even in the same place I came from 15 minutes earlier and was ignored like it was normal and nothing special that i dressed business casual. So weird of an experience! But if you were to go to Calí, Valle del Cauca in southern Colombia, my NY street summer gear was not mocked.

I've been to Ecuador and it's night and day with Colombia. I had access to a lot of good looking cheap p***y. Ecuador is the only country I like on the South American west coast but Ecuador shouldn't have been mentioned because it's irrelevant to this list, I digressed sorry.

*Argentina (I have never set foot there, but I had the best upper-class/White Hispanic experience with them when I was in Brazil (both parties on vacation), they treated me well, spoke to me in Spanish 75 percent of the time and we had full-on conversations in Spanish which most Hispanics refuse to do with me! They implored me to visit them in B.A. Argentina - I still have that raincheck

- However, when I met a group of Mestiza-Indian mixed that had her group of white Argentines in Brazil at the hostels, their attitudes were god-awful. A brown female tried to make fun of my Spanish when her white Argentine friends didn't - I wanted to smack the livid shit out of her but I would have been ejected out of the hostel quickly. You can tell that the stockholm syndrome is strong in Argentine to stay away from non-White ilk of the Argentine population - I met some cool white Uruguayan women in Rio. I almost smashed one of them...so hot 9/10!)

In addendum, Latin America (excluding Argentina, Uruguay, & Puerto Rico (only because I haven't been to the island since I was a child and want to see if the SS/BBWs are really feminist that are on the island but outside of San Juan before I deep six it), here's to you: "vete a la mierda")

I rather go to central and eastern Europe from hereon out and I will make plans once the new fiscal year begins.
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Re: Do you get a bad negative vibe in countries you don't fit in?

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » November 29th, 2017, 7:49 pm

Winston wrote:
November 29th, 2017, 9:56 am
CE,
I dont think you understand what i mean. When you dont fit in, you wont be on the same wavelength as others. And you cannot even hold a decent conversation with anyone. Everyone seems so uptight and disinterested, like in America.
Actually I do get it, but don't agree that a society is quite as WHOLESALE disinterested as you described.

One reason I am in South Florida now is because I vibe with many of the Eastern European, Latin, Caribbean, people here in ways that I simply cannot do in more mainstream (White and Black) areas of America.

My experience in the Washington, DC area is precisely how you describe so I would get out of there often. However, I found my "niche" in Richmond, VA which has a more open, southern hospitality, vibe to it. Southerners are not really "mainstream American," they have a huge regional culture of which they are very proud.

So my thing is to pursue different regions, different ethnic groups, and different subcultures when a society ignores or isolates you.

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Re: Do you get a bad negative vibe in countries you don't fit in?

Post by E Irizarry R&B Singer » November 29th, 2017, 11:33 pm

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:
November 29th, 2017, 7:49 pm
Winston wrote:
November 29th, 2017, 9:56 am
CE,
I dont think you understand what i mean. When you dont fit in, you wont be on the same wavelength as others. And you cannot even hold a decent conversation with anyone. Everyone seems so uptight and disinterested, like in America.
Actually I do get it, but don't agree that a society is quite as WHOLESALE disinterested as you described.

One reason I am in South Florida now is because I vibe with many of the Eastern European, Latin, Caribbean, people here in ways that I simply cannot do in more mainstream (White and Black) areas of America.

My experience in the Washington, DC area is precisely how you describe so I would get out of there often. However, I found my "niche" in Richmond, VA which has a more open, southern hospitality, vibe to it. Southerners are not really "mainstream American," they have a huge regional culture of which they are very proud.

So my thing is to pursue different regions, different ethnic groups, and different subcultures when a society ignores or isolates you.
So what vibes did you receive while in North Carolina? The Triangle and Piedmont areas included.
It's time to expatriate to evade your fate; it's time to expatriate before the barn door permanently closes on "US" sheep.
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Re: Do you get a bad negative vibe in countries you don't fit in?

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » November 30th, 2017, 1:17 am

E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:
November 29th, 2017, 11:33 pm
Contrarian Expatriate wrote:
November 29th, 2017, 7:49 pm
Winston wrote:
November 29th, 2017, 9:56 am
CE,
I dont think you understand what i mean. When you dont fit in, you wont be on the same wavelength as others. And you cannot even hold a decent conversation with anyone. Everyone seems so uptight and disinterested, like in America.
Actually I do get it, but don't agree that a society is quite as WHOLESALE disinterested as you described.

One reason I am in South Florida now is because I vibe with many of the Eastern European, Latin, Caribbean, people here in ways that I simply cannot do in more mainstream (White and Black) areas of America.

My experience in the Washington, DC area is precisely how you describe so I would get out of there often. However, I found my "niche" in Richmond, VA which has a more open, southern hospitality, vibe to it. Southerners are not really "mainstream American," they have a huge regional culture of which they are very proud.

So my thing is to pursue different regions, different ethnic groups, and different subcultures when a society ignores or isolates you.
So what vibes did you receive while in North Carolina? The Triangle and Piedmont areas included.
My experience in NC is limited to Oxford and Fayetteville areas only. Oxford is a virtual Pleasantville akin to Andy Griffiths Mayberry. People are kind and warm with me there.

Fayetteville is more working class and infused with more military family influence. They are not as friendly, but pleasantly indifferent to me there. When I engage a female in F'ville, they are usually receptive.

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