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What is the problem people have for being happier abroad?

Vent your rants and raves here about whatever makes you mad, angry or frustrated.

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mattyman
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Joined: September 12th, 2010, 11:15 pm

Re: What is the problem people have for being happier abroad?

Post by mattyman » December 27th, 2017, 4:37 am

Regarding the note about men showing disapproval to men settling in relationships with foreign women, one reason I can think of is that such men who show disapproval are scared of disapproval from their peers. There maybe genuine issues with western women that need to be brought-up and understood BUT, men cannot adress these without fear of being labelled a sexist. Western women do need to need more kind. Because they cannot, they feel nobody understands.

Look what I captured from another forum; a post titled 'to the women'
There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. An air of light confidence makes women feel safe. Arrogance is horrid.

For me,
A man that believes in God or a higher spiritual power than himself
A man that is compassionate and genuinely caring of animals or vulnerable people such as elderly
A man that is generous- with his time!
A man that is humble, down to earth and not pretentious
A man who's primary focus is not his wallet or climbing the ladder (albeit social or financial)
A man that puts his parents needs above his own need to be free of responsibility

Essentially a man that possesses the necessary skills to be a responsible decent human and therefore husband and father

Contrary to belief, all most women want deep down is a decent human being with moral ethics or at least is honest about being not always honest. The rest of the crap we put on dating sites is just lies we ramble to make it sound like we want some Prince with a carriage when really deep down a horse or merely barefoot will do as long as he true. But putting all this other non important shit about hair colour and height and stuff is a protection in case you hurt us so we can pretend you just aren't right for us instead of looking inside ourselves and thinking hey there something wrong with me- sweet insecurity.
How many men say they want the same from women? How many women live upto that? How come men justify having preferences about weight all the time? This poster's right, she has rightly identified a sense of entitlement. Why is it OK for women, but not for men? How many western women do you know that fit the bill of that list?

Is it unreasonable that a bloke is happy when he meets a woman who meets the criteria of the list? Is it unreasonabe that if a man meets such a woman from another country? Isn't it more concerning that women like that are more common from other countries? Is't it even more concerning that people are too scared to even address the issue for fear of dissapproval from peers?

Actually, this goes for men as well, my grandma is right, western men are just as bad as western women.

Zambales
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Re: What is the problem people have for being happier abroad?

Post by Zambales » December 27th, 2017, 9:27 am

mattyman wrote:
December 27th, 2017, 4:37 am
Regarding the note about men showing disapproval to men settling in relationships with foreign women, one reason I can think of is that such men who show disapproval are scared of disapproval from their peers. There maybe genuine issues with western women that need to be brought-up and understood BUT, men cannot adress these without fear of being labelled a sexist. Western women do need to need more kind. Because they cannot, they feel nobody understands.

Look what I captured from another forum; a post titled 'to the women'
There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. An air of light confidence makes women feel safe. Arrogance is horrid.

For me,
A man that believes in God or a higher spiritual power than himself
A man that is compassionate and genuinely caring of animals or vulnerable people such as elderly
A man that is generous- with his time!
A man that is humble, down to earth and not pretentious
A man who's primary focus is not his wallet or climbing the ladder (albeit social or financial)
A man that puts his parents needs above his own need to be free of responsibility

Essentially a man that possesses the necessary skills to be a responsible decent human and therefore husband and father

Contrary to belief, all most women want deep down is a decent human being with moral ethics or at least is honest about being not always honest. The rest of the crap we put on dating sites is just lies we ramble to make it sound like we want some Prince with a carriage when really deep down a horse or merely barefoot will do as long as he true. But putting all this other non important shit about hair colour and height and stuff is a protection in case you hurt us so we can pretend you just aren't right for us instead of looking inside ourselves and thinking hey there something wrong with me- sweet insecurity.
How many men say they want the same from women? How many women live upto that? How come men justify having preferences about weight all the time? This poster's right, she has rightly identified a sense of entitlement. Why is it OK for women, but not for men? How many western women do you know that fit the bill of that list?

Is it unreasonable that a bloke is happy when he meets a woman who meets the criteria of the list? Is it unreasonabe that if a man meets such a woman from another country? Isn't it more concerning that women like that are more common from other countries? Is't it even more concerning that people are too scared to even address the issue for fear of dissapproval from peers?

Actually, this goes for men as well, my grandma is right, western men are just as bad as western women.
To sum it up. The majority of western women are entitled. The majority of western men are stupid.

The woman who you quoted seems cleverer than most - although I don't agree with a couple of her preferences but that's her prerogative which she's entitled to.

Hair colour, height etc. is not the number one priority here. She's totally correct. Inside first. Outside second. Experience should tell a person this but unfortunately for some they never learn and continue to make the same mistake.

onethousandknives
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Re: What is the problem people have for being happier abroad?

Post by onethousandknives » January 10th, 2018, 7:58 am

I've gotten less hate for wanting to live abroad, going abroad, and having a foreign girlfriend than I thought I would. I get lots of "That would be nice" and "man, here really sucks right now" etc kind of comments, which especially have ramped up since the Trump administration. Of course there's some clueless Boomers who give me all the old trites, but basically anyone younger is at least semi-open to the idea. To be fair, I usually don't bring up how bad Western women are, and try not to emphasize too much how bad USA is, I just say "I want to live in X country for ____ reason." Also, in my area of the US, it's basically renowned for being a place full of cold stuck up mentally ill people, and it is generally miserable to live unless you are a millionaire, and has more people leaving the state every year than people moving in. It's very easy to find discussion boards speaking about my state talking about how terrible and closed and cold the people are, and how they moved from other states and can't find friends, etc. On a state level it has all the problems spoken about here about USA to a very high extreme.

In my own real life talking to real people and not just on forums, etc, I ended up meeting some people who did actually become happier abroad, did live overseas, traveled overseas extensively, lived overseas, etc. So I get some real opinions that actually have some level of being informed compared to just Fox News watching Boomers.

I think with any sort of alternative lifestyle of any kind, you'll get some hate. But, as with anything, you have to let it roll off your shoulders and press on towards your goal. If you can't handle 'haters' then you won't accomplish anything at all in life. I think importantly, too, once you actually do it, you'll get a lot less haters, and a lot more awe from people. In my case, I was the first member of my family to go abroad at all. My father when he dropped me off at the airport told me "Man, you got balls of steel, if I were you, I'd be shitting my pants right now." And for a lot of people, it does simply come down to that.

OutWest
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Re: What is the problem people have for being happier abroad?

Post by OutWest » January 10th, 2018, 9:02 am

onethousandknives wrote:
January 10th, 2018, 7:58 am
I've gotten less hate for wanting to live abroad, going abroad, and having a foreign girlfriend than I thought I would. I get lots of "That would be nice" and "man, here really sucks right now" etc kind of comments, which especially have ramped up since the Trump administration. Of course there's some clueless Boomers who give me all the old trites, but basically anyone younger is at least semi-open to the idea. To be fair, I usually don't bring up how bad Western women are, and try not to emphasize too much how bad USA is, I just say "I want to live in X country for ____ reason." Also, in my area of the US, it's basically renowned for being a place full of cold stuck up mentally ill people, and it is generally miserable to live unless you are a millionaire, and has more people leaving the state every year than people moving in. It's very easy to find discussion boards speaking about my state talking about how terrible and closed and cold the people are, and how they moved from other states and can't find friends, etc. On a state level it has all the problems spoken about here about USA to a very high extreme.

In my own real life talking to real people and not just on forums, etc, I ended up meeting some people who did actually become happier abroad, did live overseas, traveled overseas extensively, lived overseas, etc. So I get some real opinions that actually have some level of being informed compared to just Fox News watching Boomers.

I think with any sort of alternative lifestyle of any kind, you'll get some hate. But, as with anything, you have to let it roll off your shoulders and press on towards your goal. If you can't handle 'haters' then you won't accomplish anything at all in life. I think importantly, too, once you actually do it, you'll get a lot less haters, and a lot more awe from people. In my case, I was the first member of my family to go abroad at all. My father when he dropped me off at the airport told me "Man, you got balls of steel, if I were you, I'd be shitting my pants right now." And for a lot of people, it does simply come down to that.
I am certainly a boomer. First of all, the Happier Abroad thing is not something that Winston or anyone else really invented! LOL
Why do you think Europeans were leaving Europe to come to the "New World" 2 or 3 hundred years ago? Flash forward to more recent times, WWII certainly gave some of the boomers' fathers a real look at the world. Only problem was, people were shooting at you. Never-the-less, there was this shift in awareness of other places, even well before Air Travel was possible for most.
Remember, just who was being drafted and sent to SE Asia by the hundreds of thousands? Boomer young men. A great many of those got past the war and went home, never to venture forth again. After all, their experience in Vietnam was not exactly inspiring. However, a significant number saw past the war itself and saw SE Asia as it might be beyond the war. Some joined the peace corp bound for places around the world. Some were not looking for "Happiness abroad", they were not entirely self focused. A peace corp worked living in some dump is not exactly looking for what most here would call happiness abroad.
I would very much like to see young millennials engaged and eager to experience the rest of the world. While I am in the states I volunteer with a mentoring project and unfortunately, very few millennials express interest. When I try to capture their imagination with accounts of other places, their eyes glaze over and they seem to be counting the minutes till they can get back into the social media world. There is an exception to this- that is the young people who are involved with church related overseas projects. By far, most of the more experienced millennials are in this group.
I have been in and out of over 60 countries- most of the third world places and lived in 6. I have plenty to relate to others in terms of wanting to wet their appetites for adventure and alternatives in other places. Some listen intently. Very few want to imagine that they might do the same, unfortunately.
I may be having some success with the sailing program we have been putting together. We start with day sails and once they experience that, quite a few want to go further. Well, on the West Coast of the USA, one of the good places to sail is down to Mexico. It's a start. Our goal with mentoring young men is to have them experience sailing- cruising and if they really get into it, those that do will likely end up with some kind of usable small sailboat such as a cal 27. Its a start, so we find it encouraging. We want to "infect " them with the travel bug and they can take it where they may.

Man With a Plan
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Re: What is the problem people have for being happier abroad?

Post by Man With a Plan » January 11th, 2018, 7:38 pm

OutWest wrote:
January 10th, 2018, 9:02 am
I would very much like to see young millennials engaged and eager to experience the rest of the world. While I am in the states I volunteer with a mentoring project and unfortunately, very few millennials express interest. When I try to capture their imagination with accounts of other places, their eyes glaze over and they seem to be counting the minutes till they can get back into the social media world. There is an exception to this- that is the young people who are involved with church related overseas projects. By far, most of the more experienced millennials are in this group.

I have been in and out of over 60 countries- most of the third world places and lived in 6. I have plenty to relate to others in terms of wanting to wet their appetites for adventure and alternatives in other places. Some listen intently. Very few want to imagine that they might do the same, unfortunately.

I may be having some success with the sailing program we have been putting together. We start with day sails and once they experience that, quite a few want to go further. Well, on the West Coast of the USA, one of the good places to sail is down to Mexico. It's a start. Our goal with mentoring young men is to have them experience sailing- cruising and if they really get into it, those that do will likely end up with some kind of usable small sailboat such as a cal 27. Its a start, so we find it encouraging. We want to "infect " them with the travel bug and they can take it where they may.
As a younger person (mid-twenties), those kids you mentor are missing out. Me? I can't stand social media and while they can't wait to get back to their facebook, I can't wait to hear more stories about adventures. It's too bad your mentorship is wasted; I could've used that myself. Maybe things would be different for me.
The Grey Menace.

OutWest
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Re: What is the problem people have for being happier abroad?

Post by OutWest » January 12th, 2018, 3:47 am

Man With a Plan wrote:
January 11th, 2018, 7:38 pm
OutWest wrote:
January 10th, 2018, 9:02 am
I would very much like to see young millennials engaged and eager to experience the rest of the world. While I am in the states I volunteer with a mentoring project and unfortunately, very few millennials express interest. When I try to capture their imagination with accounts of other places, their eyes glaze over and they seem to be counting the minutes till they can get back into the social media world. There is an exception to this- that is the young people who are involved with church related overseas projects. By far, most of the more experienced millennials are in this group.

I have been in and out of over 60 countries- most of the third world places and lived in 6. I have plenty to relate to others in terms of wanting to wet their appetites for adventure and alternatives in other places. Some listen intently. Very few want to imagine that they might do the same, unfortunately.

I may be having some success with the sailing program we have been putting together. We start with day sails and once they experience that, quite a few want to go further. Well, on the West Coast of the USA, one of the good places to sail is down to Mexico. It's a start. Our goal with mentoring young men is to have them experience sailing- cruising and if they really get into it, those that do will likely end up with some kind of usable small sailboat such as a cal 27. Its a start, so we find it encouraging. We want to "infect " them with the travel bug and they can take it where they may.
As a younger person (mid-twenties), those kids you mentor are missing out. Me? I can't stand social media and while they can't wait to get back to their facebook, I can't wait to hear more stories about adventures. It's too bad your mentorship is wasted; I could've used that myself. Maybe things would be different for me.
I did not make myself clear. We are not mentoring those who are not willing to leave social media behind. I was referring to those that are not interested... We dont waste our time with them. That said, the number of hungry but lost young men is astounding. In many cases their boomer dads should have been caned. We do not bullshit young men. We teach and invest in what we teach.

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publicduende
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Re: What is the problem people have for being happier abroad?

Post by publicduende » January 12th, 2018, 4:13 am

The reality is not black and white: being happier abroad isn't as easy as moving to another country and live placidly with a cute girl 15+ years your junior.

If you take the Philippines, for example, one problem most people have is that they come over here in full "happy go lucky" mode, feel embraced by the friendliness of the local, have their fun with the young ladies. Then the mall dinners for two (or more), the not so low rentals (if one doesn't want to live in a roach nest that floods every other day, that is), the occasional handouts and never-to-be-returned "loans" to the needy girls and friends and their families and acquaintances, it all adds up pretty soon.

Before they know it, they will have spent several thousand dollars, perhaps all the savings they have or they devoted to their exotic escapades. The issue of survival then sets in, and that's where they realise that, as foreigners on a tourist Visas, they are not allowed to legally work in this country and, even if they did find something decent, it would have to be in large metro areas and paid a pittance.

While the best option for them is to have an online job providing them at least $2000 net per month, I know very few of such cases. Those I know are probably digital nomads who are reluctant to spend more than a few months in any location.

While adopting a nomadic and adventurous lifestyle is certainly something to applaud, on whatever generation and at whatever age it happens, the practicalities of such a choice are more complicated than just "save and go".

Even third world countries are getting expensive, especially if one targets the beaten tracks of tourist-friendly cities.

Man With a Plan
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Re: What is the problem people have for being happier abroad?

Post by Man With a Plan » January 12th, 2018, 5:53 pm

OutWest wrote:
January 12th, 2018, 3:47 am
I did not make myself clear. We are not mentoring those who are not willing to leave social media behind. I was referring to those that are not interested... We dont waste our time with them. That said, the number of hungry but lost young men is astounding. In many cases their boomer dads should have been caned. We do not bullshit young men. We teach and invest in what we teach.
Exactly why you need to take your style of mentoring all over and reach to these men. Not just America or the west, but the world.
The Grey Menace.

OutWest
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Re: What is the problem people have for being happier abroad?

Post by OutWest » January 13th, 2018, 8:06 am

Man With a Plan wrote:
January 12th, 2018, 5:53 pm
OutWest wrote:
January 12th, 2018, 3:47 am
I did not make myself clear. We are not mentoring those who are not willing to leave social media behind. I was referring to those that are not interested... We dont waste our time with them. That said, the number of hungry but lost young men is astounding. In many cases their boomer dads should have been caned. We do not bullshit young men. We teach and invest in what we teach.
Exactly why you need to take your style of mentoring all over and reach to these men. Not just America or the west, but the world.
Funny you should mention that. I cannot take credit for it, but what we do is very effective. As mentors, we ask for commitment from the young men involved. Sailing is a tool we use. It teaches responsibility, teamwork and ageless skills that put you close to nature and fill your life with adventure if you are up to it. One learns to sail, learns responsibility and courage as well as how to work on boats. This is not some big outfit- it is a cluster of us doing this and it works. Our goal is that every young man involved will end up with his own "starter boat" if he wants. It might be a 27- 30 foot sailboat like a Cal or Ericson that might be more than 30 years old. We work on refitting it as a group project. We just turned over the title and keys to a refit Cal 29 sailboat to a 27 year old young married men from a working class background that has never had squat in his life. He knows he worked hard to end up with it and has a great "Pay it forward" attitude. His dad is a kind of limp, go with the flow boomer who still does not get how damaging to his son he was with his passivity.

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