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Vent your rants and raves here about whatever makes you mad, angry or frustrated.
2 posts • Page 1 of 1
A long distance move is exactly the same as death. You will never see that friend who is moving long distance for the rest of your whole life as if he/she already died.
It's one thing when someone working in an office moves long distance and there are only maybe 15 or 20 people, mainly co-workers, grieving that they are losing a colleague. It's another thing when a bartender or waitress is moving long distance, and there are upwards of 300 people grieving, weeping, and mourning that they are losing a friend. Especially when that bartender may have hung out with possibly 30 to 40 percent of her common customers outside of work, even taking some of them to bike nights, concerts, the movies, the beach, picnics, cookouts, and yes, possibly even Busch Gardens, Disney World, or Universal Orlando. But then she moves to, let's say, Colorado. And now especially the loners who have no other friends who used to hang out with her, possibly even 1 on 1 or 2 on 1, are in grief and mourning because they know the adventures are over, the friendship is over, and God Himself could never, ever drive from Denver all the way to Fort Myers and take them to another bike night, another concert, another movie, cookout, or to Disney World again. The distance itself is too far. Even if there is a plan to see each other again, everyone left behind knows it will be at least 50 years, possibly even 60, before they do actually see face to face again. And while the social atmosphere here in Florida may be an improvement from Illinois, there unfortunately are still people in Southwest Florida that are in closed cliques that act like they're still in DuPage County, Illinois or like it's illegal under Federal law to talk to strangers except for business reasons.
Even now, there's a bartender from a restaurant/bar on the beach that is moving to Colorado. And Colorado is 18 billion miles from Florida. True, you can get from Denver to Fort Myers in 28 hours at the speed of light! At 75 miles per hour on the highway, it would take roughly 27,378 years to drive from Denver to Fort Myers! She was very much loved by her common daytime customers. Now that place is going to be a lot more empty during the day because she's gone. And I am sure a lot of daytime patrons are already looking for other bars to frequent during the day and likely won't be back to their old hangout for years.
People who have long distance moves planned should never work as bartenders or waitresses at all, including in Florida. More appropriate jobs for people who have long distance moves planned for the future include;
-Front desk receptionist at a hotel.
-Housekeeping/maintenance staff at a hotel, hostel, or resort.
-Receptionist at a doctor's office.
-Receptionist at a dentist's office.
-Cashier or sales person at a retail store, grocery store, or supermarket.
-Customer service agent at a department store such as Wal Mart, Home Depot, or Loews.
But people who plan to move long distance in the future, stay away from bars and restaurants. The fewer people you come into regular contact with, the less pain the community as a whole will feel when you move long distance, and the less depression and fewer suicides you will leave in your wake when you move.
Even if you're moving, say, from Fort Myers to Tampa, the distance from Fort Myers to Tampa is 15,876 miles one way. A drive from Tampa to Fort Myers at 75 miles per hour takes 211 hours, or almost 9 days! And again, God Himself could not drive from Tampa down to Fort Myers and take someone out for lunch or ice cream, again, it's too far.
Again, America is an individualist country! In America, you are expected to stay completely out of everyone else's life, live in complete isolation, stay in complete isolation, and mind your own business. In other words, be a stranger, and stay a stranger, to every single person you encounter in the community. And that includes waitresses and bartenders. You are also expected to follow the same repeating schedule every single day, 365 days a year; get up, shower, eat, go to work, go straight home, have dinner at home, do laundry, and go to bed. Any deviation or detour from the daily schedule causes you to be labeled a lowlife loser. Not being part of a clique by your 18th birthday causes you to be permanently outcasted.
Additionally, the United States of America on the whole is a heavily transient country with no roots. All 50 states see a 100% population turnover on average every 5 to 10 years. You're sad that you lost a favorite bartender from your favorite bar on the beach, in America, again, friendships are superficial and fleeting, mostly a facade! I guarantee you, this bartender, whoever she is, will not even remember you 6 months from now. There's even a good chance that, if you even happen to run into her, she will make like she never knew you. You may remember her as iron-clad as if you knew her for years, but she will not even know who you are.
You need to especially back off from people moving long distance. In America, when someone is about to move long distance, they put up walls towards everyone they ever met. They become distant, even total strangers again like they never met. Many even become a jail term waiting to happen to those they are leaving behind. For many, their idea is that it hurts less if they distance themselves and act like strangers, in other words, dismantling and taking down the facade before the storm hits, but really they are showing their true colors. They don't want people crying in front of them or on their shoulder while saying their final goodbye. They know the friendship is over. And when they move, they expect you to cut them out of your life, make like you never knew them, like you don't know who they are, and move on. You may think 20 years is too long to go without seeing a friend that moved long distance, but that "friend" that moved long distance wants nothing to do with you anymore and does not want to see you or hear from you for the next 100 years! The ice may be broken, but they rebuild their barriers with welded steel.
Additionally, many transients bartend and waitress because they want to break hundreds of hearts when they move! They get a huge kick out of forming fake friendships with customers, then moving long distance, and then hearing that her old customers are getting institutionalized or are suffering from depression and social withdrawal or are committing suicide.