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Why are bars and clubs considered places to meet people?

Vent your rants and raves here about whatever makes you mad, angry or frustrated.

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Winston
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Why are bars and clubs considered places to meet people?

Post by Winston » May 23rd, 2010, 9:37 am

I don't get something.

Why is there this cultural mythos or stereotype in the US that bars and clubs are places where you can meet people of the opposite sex?

What is the rationale behind that?

I mean, people are not more open and friendly in bars, clubs or even discos, than they are in normal public settings. So I don't see any logical basis for this mythos.

I've never seen a country or city where people were anti-social and unapproachable in public, and then suddenly open, friendly and inclusive in a bar or nightclub. Come on now.

Plus, in some of these places, especially the dance clubs, the music is so loud that you can't even hear your own voice! So how can you meet people if you can't even hear them talking? People who talk in them usually have to yell in each other's ears.

Also, the vibe in these places is shallow, not natural or relaxed, as well as fake and artificial. It's the kind of place that dumbs you down if you go there often, and numbs your mind. So how does that make it a good social atmosphere to meet people? I don't get it.
Last edited by Winston on May 23rd, 2010, 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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jamesbond
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Post by jamesbond » May 23rd, 2010, 12:18 pm

Come on Winston, don't you know bars and clubs are where all the "cool people" go to meet other people? lol :lol: Your right, I never figured out why there are SO MANY PARTY ANIMALS IN THE USA! I mean, if you are a single person in the US and in your 20's or 30's your SUPPOSED to go to bars and clubs to meet people. If you tell people you don't go to bars and clubs, they look at you LIKE YOU ARE AN ALIEN! lol :lol:

When I was in college, all the guys in my dorm would go out to the bars and clubs (I did too a few times, then I got sick of it and didn't want to go anymore). When I told the guys I didn't want to go out to bars and clubs anymore, they thought I was crazy! They would say things like, "how are you going to meet chicks, if you don't go to bars and clubs?" and "what else are you going to do on the weekends?"

What amazed me was that almost ALL the students at my school went to bars and clubs on the weekends and got wasted. Then they would come home, vomit in the bathroom (or their bed) go to sleep and do the same thing the following weekend! WTF? :shock:

Your right about people NOT being open and friendly at bars and clubs. The women have their "bitch shield" up and are very hard to socialize with. The men usually outnumber the women at bars and clubs so there is a LOT of competition between the men. People at bars and clubs tend to act "fake" and "phoney." The music is so loud, it's ridiculous!

So, why is it that bars and clubs are promoted as being "a great place to meet people." :?:

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Post by FuzzX » May 23rd, 2010, 1:50 pm

Never worked for me and I still go to clubs every other Saturday to stay in shape. They are free dance floors for my bestfriend and I.

If you want to meet people go to a rave. Especially this one: http://www.trance-energy.com/home/index

As a 19 y/o kid and a big fan of electronic music, I went from going to raves every single weekend for about $30 bucks a shot and having the time of my life to going to clubs and talking to maybe one other person the whole night. In a rave everyone can and does dance. In a club dancing is forbidden and the only people who can dance are the strippers they hire to make sure the dance floor doesn't look completely empty. We used to get harrassed a lot at the night clubs when we danced by not only the patrons but also the bouncers. We still get a crowd of girls staring at us every night though...and I get my picture taken at least 4 or 5 times a night yet NO ONE that is taking my picture ever bothers to ask or speak to me... I don't understand clubs or club goers even 10 years later.

The event:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EEfCiNTN8o&NR=1
(This place is the size of an aircraft hanger)

Trance Xplosion
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3DXkzStOgA&NR=1

The official dance of raves across the world:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzcTh-w2 ... re=related

Contrary to popular belief raves are just as much about the music and dancing as the drugs although you can certainly find it there if you want to. I've been going to raves since I was 18 and I've never touched a drug or smoked a cigarette in my life but I still have my fun fur pants and vest and wear them whenever I get a chance. I have yet to go to a rave and not have at least 30 people come up and introduce themselves to me over the course of the night. A friend and I went to a massive rave in Bangkok that was held on the street in papong during Song Kran (The big water fight)... man we started dancing and a huge circle... must have been 200 people long formed around us... afterward brits, yanks, thais and chinese came up to speak to us.. it was an awesome experience. Another time I got up and danced in Korea during a Break Dance Battle in front of Hyundai Dept. Store... across from the school I was at, the crowd went nuts and tons of people wanted to know where I was teaching at. I digress...

Anyway clubs suck. Goto a rave if you want to meet people and learn to dance.

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Post by Winston » May 23rd, 2010, 2:19 pm

FuzzX,
Do you mean that raves in the US are a great place to meet people? How are raves legal when there are drugs there?

When I say clubs, I mean the kind that college girls go to, where there is a long line of them outside at the door. Anyone can dance there but the scene is very stuck up.
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Post by FuzzX » May 23rd, 2010, 4:20 pm

Drugs are illegal but renting a venue, setting up speakers and inviting headliner DJs with the intention of throwing a good party is not. Its near impossible to find every single drug, especially when the bouncers are getting a cut of the money.

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Post by globetrotter » May 23rd, 2010, 4:38 pm

FuzzX wrote:Drugs are illegal but renting a venue, setting up speakers and inviting headliner DJs with the intention of throwing a good party is not. Its near impossible to find every single drug, especially when the bouncers are getting a cut of the money.
One of the ways to make raves, clubs and strip bars profitable is to capture the cash tip income of employees.
The most efficient way to do that is via speedy drugs.

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Post by momopi » May 24th, 2010, 1:02 am

Some people enjoy going clubbing because they like the scene, and girls dress to kill. It's a phase in your life when you enjoy going every weekend, then you get tired of it and that's that.

In my area, there's several nice clubs in OC, but we're not known for the night life scene. IMO Koreatown in LA and Vegas is better. If you go party in K-Town in Los Angeles, you can come out at 1am and go eat Korean spicy pork. The LA K-Town area has approx. 1,100 businesses that opens late at night.

Clubs in Vegas are over the top sometimes, because people are away from home and in party mood. One way to decide if you want to go to a certain club is to drive around the parking structure and see what kind of girls (and what they're wearing) are going clubbing there at night at the casino. You get a feel of the age and demographics. Nobody wants to check in their coats (super long lines) so the girls usually just go in their party dress with a tiny handbag.

To avoid the lines, call for limo service and ask if they can get you VIP access to the club. It'd cost you some $$ for grease payment. Oh and, dress to impress. Don't worry if you can't dance, half the people there can't dance anyway, hahaha.

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jamesbond
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Re: Why are bars and clubs considered places to meet people?

Post by jamesbond » July 5th, 2010, 11:31 pm

Winston wrote:I don't get something.

Why is there this cultural mythos or stereotype in the US that bars and clubs are places where you can meet people of the opposite sex?

What is the rationale behind that?

I mean, people are not more open and friendly in bars, clubs or even discos, than they are in normal public settings. So I don't see any logical basis for this mythos.

I've never seen a country or city where people were anti-social and unapproachable in public, and then suddenly open, friendly and inclusive in a bar or nightclub. Come on now.

Plus, in some of these places, especially the dance clubs, the music is so loud that you can't even hear your own voice! So how can you meet people if you can't even hear them talking? People who talk in them usually have to yell in each other's ears.

Also, the vibe in these places is shallow, not natural or relaxed, as well as fake and artificial. It's the kind of place that dumbs you down if you go there often, and numbs your mind. So how does that make it a good social atmosphere to meet people? I don't get it.
I have never understood the "fasination" with the bar scene that so many young single people have. Most guys who go to bars and clubs don't meet any girls, they just stand around drinking and talking to their friends. How can you talk to any girls when the music is very loud, it's also crowded and very clickish.

What exactly happens when you go to bar or club? You get a few drinks in your system, listen to extreamly loud music and a get rejected by stuck up women! And a lot of single guys in the US actually like doing that! Unbelieveable!

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Post by Adama » July 6th, 2010, 4:33 am

I took a survey on another board and most of the men say they met their wives/GFs at bars. I cant believe it.

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jamesbond
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Post by jamesbond » July 6th, 2010, 7:54 am

J.Adama wrote:I took a survey on another board and most of the men say they met their wives/GFs at bars. I cant believe it.
I can't believe it either! It's difficult just to get a woman's phone number at a bar or club, let alone get into a relationship with a woman you met at a bar or nightclub. At bars and clubs the air is so tense and thick, you can practically cut it with a knife! Everyone is acting tough and arrogant and the women have their "bitch shield" up.

Also, most of the time the men outnumber the women at bars and clubs, which REALLY makes it difficult for men to meet any women there.

How about these guys who say they get laid with no problem by going to bars and clubs! I highly doubt that, I think they are either lying or exaggerating.

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Post by globetrotter » July 6th, 2010, 12:10 pm

I have met scores/dozens of women in bars and clubs.

Through most of history people met during dances, around a fire, with alcohol served and music blasting. At night.

Clubs and bars just modernize the concept. The music is loud because people spend more when it's loud and it forces people to be very close to each other, exchanging hormones and pheromones and accessing the reptilian brain.

If there were not bars you would be gathering around a fire, drinking home brew, listening to the loud drums, dancing. If you did not like that 'scene' the results would be genetically the same.

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Re: Why are bars and clubs considered places to meet people?

Post by ajushi » July 9th, 2010, 1:53 am

Winston,

You have definitley just nailed yet another one of the observations I have made about this society since about 15 years ago... A continued source of confusion and frustration, Never understood why alcohol and bar scene seems to be needed for an active and natural social life here or any chance to meet women outside of work or preexisting social connections. Am so tired of it I don't even want to be in the US social scene. Talk to a random person in public and they'll look at you like a crazy person. So weird. Try to ask a woman on a date who you meet at the store or whatever, and you are a weirdo. About half of my family and fiends from my earlier life actually haveb almost no friends or socail life. Here's to friends and relationshisp abroad or from other cultures and doing the best we can with what we'vce discovered in this life.

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Post by GFX » July 21st, 2010, 4:51 pm

I always thought bars and clubs were where all the party animals went. I don't feel that is where you will find a long term relationship. It's where the "players" go.

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jamesbond
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Post by jamesbond » July 28th, 2010, 1:04 am

GFX wrote:I always thought bars and clubs were where all the party animals went. I don't feel that is where you will find a long term relationship. It's where the "players" go.
Your right, a lot of "party animals' go to bars and clubs but so do people who aren't "party animals" since bars and clubs are the only places in America where a man can strike up a conversation with a woman. Try striking up conversations with women in bookstores and grocery stores and see what happens! lol :D

In order to even have a snowballs chance in hell of meeting women in America, a guy has to go to bars and clubs. Either that, or he has to meet women through his friends! Welcome to the dating scene in modern day America! :D

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Post by Think Different » July 28th, 2010, 1:33 am

Depends what kind of joint you're talking about. Some clubs are just a fun place for people to hang out, dance and have fun. They even have clubs for "elderly" folks that want a theme, such as 50/60/70s night. No problem.

There are also bars (more along the lines of "pubs" in Europe), where people, mainly guys, just go to chill and have a beer and chat after work. Cool!

Then there are the clubs and bars, where people go to find a quick hookup and get laid. If that's what you're into and what you're looking for, fine. If you're looking for something long-term and substantial, you won't find it at these latter places. That's where you go to allow alcohol to lower your inhibitions, so you'll hook up with some chick, who you'd never consider, sober. It's called beer-goggling desperation. And I completely understand....been there, done that......

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