The gender difference in our Happier Abroad Forum.

[polya]

I'm noticing when a WOMAN joins happier abroad & introduces herself - guys on the forum are tripping over to talk to her, but when a new guy joins, he is usually ignored, rendered invisible or even abused (I've seen a white-supremicist racist guy posting vitriol about Black guys here).
I am surprised this is happening because the guys here seem to have left the US and have found girls overseas, so there's no need to try to "pick up" or befriend girls on this forum, so new girls and guys should be treated equally here.
Could this be internalized discrimination towards other men?? I've seen wives get custody of kids & child support over 90% of the time. When a WOMAN misses out on a promotion at work she sues, when a man misses out he doesn't sue.... I could go on and on with my observations about discrimination against men (of course you can find opposite examples - I'm talking generally).
I want to ask every guy on this forum to go join a woman's feminist forum (or some other female forum) and see if the girls trip over themselves to talk to him.
I personally like alot of what girls have said here (so I'm not attacking anyone), I'd just like new guys to get the same consideration.

[miles_ahead]

Interesting observation. You mean to say that guys on here kiss Ass once a new chick introduces her self? I dont see why, its not like she's going to introduce lots of single women to any of us members. Well i haven't really seen any chicks on here, except that new UK chick that just posted under introductions. She seems nice although i don't see how her post is relevant to this forum.

[BellaRuth]

I think I'm the only girl here, and I only joined recently (as a mistake! Thought it was a general 'going abroad' forum!). Before then it was just men. You might have seen nice replies, but I got a lot of negativity when I joined. One user even quit the forum, and I read a lot of comments saying I shouldn't be here at all. Some were direct personal insults.

I only stayed because I was asked to by the admin as it adds diversity to the forum, otherwise I would have left (not in outrage, but because I was told/felt this should be a kind of 'locker room' for men).

I've noticed a lot of interest in new male members but they don't always formally introduce themselves.

I think the reason why I got a lot of replies was because it was a novelty and a controversy. No one wanted to win any favours. If anything I feel as if I'm forcing myself in a little here, still.

[globetrotter]

And so it begins...

[Rock]

I think I'm the only girl here, and I only joined recently (as a mistake! Thought it was a general 'going abroad' forum!). Before then it was just men. You might have seen nice replies, but I got a lot of negativity when I joined. One user even quit the forum, and I read a lot of comments saying I shouldn't be here at all. Some were direct personal insults.

I only stayed because I was asked to by the admin as it adds diversity to the forum, otherwise I would have left (not in outrage, but because I was told/felt this should be a kind of 'locker room' for men).

I've noticed a lot of interest in new male members but they don't always formally introduce themselves.

I think the reason why I got a lot of replies was because it was a novelty and a controversy. No one wanted to win any favours. If anything I feel as if I'm forcing myself in a little here, still.

BellaRuth. I think Fuzz had it in for Winston before you even came. You just gave him an excuse to fire off all remaining shots.

Is your interest in this site just about moving somewhere in Europe? Maybe you should consider Colombia too? What city is your boyfriend from? I visited there several times and really liked many of the people I met. Cartegena has got a beautiful old town area and the night-life in some of the other bigger cities - Medellin, Cali, Bogota, and Baranquilla is fantastic several days a week. When I went, it was all super cheap and I reckon its still a good deal. Another good thing about Colombia is that you have base to visit many other countries in LatAm, Caribbean, and even Florida. Just a thought.

[Adama]

You should join these sites:


Mgtow.proboards.com

http://www.the-niceguy.com/forum/index.php?act=idx

[BellaRuth]

BellaRuth. I think Fuzz had it in for Winston before you even came. You just gave him an excuse to fire off all remaining shots.

Is your interest in this site just about moving somewhere in Europe? Maybe you should consider Colombia too? What city is your boyfriend from? I visited there several times and really liked many of the people I met. Cartegena has got a beautiful old town area and the night-life in some of the other bigger cities - Medellin, Cali, Bogota, and Baranquilla is fantastic several days a week. When I went, it was all super cheap and I reckon its still a good deal. Another good thing about Colombia is that you have base to visit many other countries in LatAm, Caribbean, and even Florida. Just a thought.

Hi Rock.

I'm glad to think I wasn't the only reason why Fuzz left. I didn't like the idea of me as a new member driving out an old member, particularly as this forum isn't directed towards people like me really. I'm hoping he returns. Let's see.

Yeah, I'm only interested in Europe. But since I've got to know this site and what it's 'really' about I find the talks on gender interesting, so I like to hang around for as long as I can. I hope that in time I'm just a normal poster albeit with a female view.

My boyfriend's from Bogota. He doesn't want me to consider going to Colombia for a few reasons. He says I wouldn't like it- I'm used to countryside around me, and if I lived in Colombia I would need to be in the big capital city, as the countryside areas are too far from anything and more dangerous, apparently. He doesn't want me to miss my family, and says I wouldn't be able to continue in art/design over there- would have to just teach English perhaps. He also prefers Europe himself, he loves it here in the UK, and doesn't want to go back (apart from the fact he misses his family and friends). Whenever I mention us trying to live in Colombia he is pretty adamant that he doesn't want it to happen unless there's no other way.

I love Colombians though. His family are amazing and I've met a few of his friends who've come over to visit. I think I'd have a great time there.

[Winston]

BellaRuth. I think Fuzz had it in for Winston before you even came. You just gave him an excuse to fire off all remaining shots.

Is your interest in this site just about moving somewhere in Europe? Maybe you should consider Colombia too? What city is your boyfriend from? I visited there several times and really liked many of the people I met. Cartegena has got a beautiful old town area and the night-life in some of the other bigger cities - Medellin, Cali, Bogota, and Baranquilla is fantastic several days a week. When I went, it was all super cheap and I reckon its still a good deal. Another good thing about Colombia is that you have base to visit many other countries in LatAm, Caribbean, and even Florida. Just a thought.

Hi Rock.

I'm glad to think I wasn't the only reason why Fuzz left. I didn't like the idea of me as a new member driving out an old member, particularly as this forum isn't directed towards people like me really. I'm hoping he returns. Let's see.

Yeah, I'm only interested in Europe. But since I've got to know this site and what it's 'really' about I find the talks on gender interesting, so I like to hang around for as long as I can. I hope that in time I'm just a normal poster albeit with a female view.

My boyfriend's from Bogota. He doesn't want me to consider going to Colombia for a few reasons. He says I wouldn't like it- I'm used to countryside around me, and if I lived in Colombia I would need to be in the big capital city, as the countryside areas are too far from anything and more dangerous, apparently. He doesn't want me to miss my family, and says I wouldn't be able to continue in art/design over there- would have to just teach English perhaps. He also prefers Europe himself, he loves it here in the UK, and doesn't want to go back (apart from the fact he misses his family and friends). Whenever I mention us trying to live in Colombia he is pretty adamant that he doesn't want it to happen unless there's no other way.

I love Colombians though. His family are amazing and I've met a few of his friends who've come over to visit. I think I'd have a great time there.

He had threatened to leave before. He could have stayed if he didn't like me, and just ignored me while chatting with the rest. But he got over the edge. I wouldn't mind trading him for you though. It'd be like trading a dysfunctional part of a computer for a functional part. lol

He now has gone over to AWS and posted rants against me. Good riddance. The AWS owner is far far nuttier than me. So for Fuzz to tolerate him but not me speaks volumes.

Maybe your bf doesn't want you to go to Columbia cause you'd get too much attention there?

Why not try Costa Rica or Brazil then?

[BellaRuth]

Maybe he doesn't want you to go to Columbia cause you'd get too much attention there?

Why not try Costa Rica or Brazil then?

Haha, I'd doubt I'd get much attention there. Colombia is known for its women. I would stand out like a ghost, though.

Well I wouldn't push for another country in South America because I can't stand much hot weather, and its too far from my family. There are a lot of options in Europe for me that aren't too hot, and everywhere's pretty accessible to the UK. Plus I feel more comfortable in Europe, it feels like my homeland. South America will be a much bigger culture shock. I'd go to Colombia if my boyfriend wanted, but apart from that, no- not long-term.

[Winston]

Maybe he doesn't want you to go to Columbia cause you'd get too much attention there?

Why not try Costa Rica or Brazil then?

Haha, I'd doubt I'd get much attention there. Colombia is known for its women. I would stand out like a ghost, though.

Well I wouldn't push for another country in South America because I can't stand much hot weather, and its too far from my family. There are a lot of options in Europe for me that aren't too hot, and everywhere's pretty accessible to the UK. Plus I feel more comfortable in Europe, it feels like my homeland. South America will be a much bigger culture shock. I'd go to Colombia if my boyfriend wanted, but apart from that, no- not long-term.

So you can't stand hot too? I thought I was the only one. Everyone else seems to be able to tolerate it here. That's why I don't want to live in the Philippines long term. When I'm always hot everyday, I can't even THINK clearly. And that's terrible! I hate humidity too. Food spoils so quickly in humid climates.

What about China? Do you like Asia?

[BellaRuth]

What about China? Do you like Asia?

It's never appealed to me to be honest. I grew up really close to a family where the wife was Filipina (she came over with her new British husband), her daughter was my best friend. So I got used to the food they eat etc., I love it, and find Asian people really friendly and open. And I've seen such gorgeous pictures of where she lives now they've moved back. But as for me living there, no. I guess once again in my mind it seems tropical, which doesn't appeal. And I feel too 'European'. I like the architecture, the history, the landscapes. I'm the sort of person that would rather be in an art gallery than sunbathing. Also, luckily, I find European languages come to me very quickly. I tried learning Chinese a while back and it was a whole different story, although I'm not daunted by Russian.

Pretty much... I think of Asia and think of crazy languages, an insane cultural barrier, a looong flight there, tropical humidity, palm trees and paddy fields and soy sauce. I think of Europe and I think of a fresher climate, everything feels more familiar, cultures/countries I've been introduced to from a young age, etc. I know Europe is pretty big to generalise but on my trips so far, although the languages, weather and some cultural aspects changed, I felt very much at home. Plus it's not too far to see my family if I miss them!

[globetrotter]

What about China? Do you like Asia?

Pretty much... I think of Asia and think of crazy languages, an insane cultural barrier, a looong flight there, tropical humidity, palm trees and paddy fields and soy sauce.

an insane cultural barrier: Nope.
a looong flight there,: Yep.
tropical humidity: Nope. Northern and Central China are dry and frigid in winter. Korea and Japan are like Canada in winter.
palm trees and paddy fields and soy sauce: No, no and no.

[Rock]

Hi Rock.

I'm glad to think I wasn't the only reason why Fuzz left. I didn't like the idea of me as a new member driving out an old member, particularly as this forum isn't directed towards people like me really. I'm hoping he returns. Let's see.

Yeah, I'm only interested in Europe. But since I've got to know this site and what it's 'really' about I find the talks on gender interesting, so I like to hang around for as long as I can. I hope that in time I'm just a normal poster albeit with a female view.

My boyfriend's from Bogota. He doesn't want me to consider going to Colombia for a few reasons. He says I wouldn't like it- I'm used to countryside around me, and if I lived in Colombia I would need to be in the big capital city, as the countryside areas are too far from anything and more dangerous, apparently. He doesn't want me to miss my family, and says I wouldn't be able to continue in art/design over there- would have to just teach English perhaps. He also prefers Europe himself, he loves it here in the UK, and doesn't want to go back (apart from the fact he misses his family and friends). Whenever I mention us trying to live in Colombia he is pretty adamant that he doesn't want it to happen unless there's no other way.

I love Colombians though. His family are amazing and I've met a few of his friends who've come over to visit. I think I'd have a great time there.

Makes sense. Europe is an amazing continent for architecture and visible history. It seems like anywhere you go in urban continental Europe could be the setting for an impressive post card. As for LatAm, keep in mind, Chile and Argentina are temperate to cold. And Buenes Aires looks like a a piece of Europe transplanted with its architecture, style, and predominantly Caucasian population. Your money goes so much further too. It is a long way from the UK though.

I doubt you would like Asia, not because of the climate but because its just so different from Europe. I feel that in Asia, nobody really cares about the external appearance of public areas, buildings, houses, etc. And it really shows. But as far as climate, most of China is temperate to cold, ditto for Monglolia, Korea, and Japan. Those countries plus the Asian part of Russia which is cold account for well over 75% of Asia's total land mass. And Asian languages, yes, very different for the most part. Chinese in its standard form plus all the dialects, Thai, Vietnamese, and Cambodian, employ inflections or tones over each syllable, Japanese and Korean have complex and unfamiliar (for most westerners) grammar rules, and many of these languages use non-romanized writing systems. I've heard some expats say that Tagalog and some other Fillipino languages and Bahasa Malaysian/Indonesian are relatively easier for most westerners though.

[Winston]

I agree. The architecture in Asia is bland and ugly. Most streets look the same. It's not as nice as the backdrop of all those kung fu movies that take place in large palace and temples.

Europe is more fun overall too. More diversity and variety and more social energy. And the people/culture are more broad minded as well. In Asia, I tend to feel rigid, as if the vibes around me are trying to turn me into a robot who only follows and doesn't think. The Philippines is the only place where I feel relaxed and carefree.

BellaRuth and I probably have similar souls, especially since she's artistic and right brained too. So it's possible she would feel the same as me in Asia.

Bella, what kind of Filipino food did you eat? Most westerners cannot eat classic Filipino food. It's really gross. Maybe you had a westernized version of it.

[Winston]

Btw, for what it's worth, if any of you miss FuzzX and want to try to get him to come back, here's his email in his profile:

dogbot@hotmail.com

I've already changed his user name back to what it was before. Tell him he is welcome back as long as he behaves civilly and fairly.