Why do most forums have double standards if they dont like you?
Why do most forums have double standards if they dont like you?
Question, or rant rather:
Why is it that on most forums, if you say things they don't like, even if you're not rude or insulting toward anyone, suddenly there are double standards against you?
For example, if I say out of the box things, even without insulting anyone, and some members start insulting and attacking or ridiculing me, then they will not get punished. But IF I DO THE SAME back to them in self-defense, then it counts against me, and I will get warned and then banned for disruptive behavior and trolling?
So basically, people can attack me, and it's excusable, but if I fight back, then I'm guilty of bad behavior and banned?
Those are obvious double standards. How come most forums are like that? Anyone ever notice that?
The only ones that I can post on without angering people are the David Icke forums, and the Above Top Secret forum. Many people there like my posts and respect me and say that they wish they had more quality posts like mine. They are the most open minded large forums I've participated on.
But most forums are like a mob mentality. If they decide that you are a nuisance, then they hold the double standards against you described above, putting you in a no-win situation. In addition, they also use everything you say against you and even start hallucinating things that you said that you never even said! Why is that? Weird. People seem to see what they want to see, even if it's not there.
Why can't people be fair and objective like I am?
I may not be a saint or angel. I may be short tempered, impatient, emotional, excitable, etc. But I am at least truthful, honest and fair. Isn't that what counts? Don't I deserve credit for that? Why does that not count with most people?
It's funny how when I was 5 or 6, Disney films, Sesame Street and Mister Rogers all taught me that the world was kind and fair and that if I was a good kind boy, then everyone would like me. But then in my teens I discovered that if I didn't act tough and fend for myself, then bullies would take advantage of me and single me out as a target for ridicule and persecution. And my peers would say there was something wrong with me if I was being singled out. All the while, I never did anything wrong.
Isn't that F ed up or what? Anyone ever wonder the same thing?
Some, like BellaRuth, are unjaded cause they were fortunate enough to grow up around good caring people, the kind you see on Sesame Street and Mister Rogers, and spared such cruelties. Why couldn't I have been one of those?
Why is it that on most forums, if you say things they don't like, even if you're not rude or insulting toward anyone, suddenly there are double standards against you?
For example, if I say out of the box things, even without insulting anyone, and some members start insulting and attacking or ridiculing me, then they will not get punished. But IF I DO THE SAME back to them in self-defense, then it counts against me, and I will get warned and then banned for disruptive behavior and trolling?
So basically, people can attack me, and it's excusable, but if I fight back, then I'm guilty of bad behavior and banned?
Those are obvious double standards. How come most forums are like that? Anyone ever notice that?
The only ones that I can post on without angering people are the David Icke forums, and the Above Top Secret forum. Many people there like my posts and respect me and say that they wish they had more quality posts like mine. They are the most open minded large forums I've participated on.
But most forums are like a mob mentality. If they decide that you are a nuisance, then they hold the double standards against you described above, putting you in a no-win situation. In addition, they also use everything you say against you and even start hallucinating things that you said that you never even said! Why is that? Weird. People seem to see what they want to see, even if it's not there.
Why can't people be fair and objective like I am?
I may not be a saint or angel. I may be short tempered, impatient, emotional, excitable, etc. But I am at least truthful, honest and fair. Isn't that what counts? Don't I deserve credit for that? Why does that not count with most people?
It's funny how when I was 5 or 6, Disney films, Sesame Street and Mister Rogers all taught me that the world was kind and fair and that if I was a good kind boy, then everyone would like me. But then in my teens I discovered that if I didn't act tough and fend for myself, then bullies would take advantage of me and single me out as a target for ridicule and persecution. And my peers would say there was something wrong with me if I was being singled out. All the while, I never did anything wrong.
Isn't that F ed up or what? Anyone ever wonder the same thing?
Some, like BellaRuth, are unjaded cause they were fortunate enough to grow up around good caring people, the kind you see on Sesame Street and Mister Rogers, and spared such cruelties. Why couldn't I have been one of those?
Last edited by Winston on March 19th, 2011, 2:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Why do most forums have double standards if they dont ly
A few years ago I use to post on the Don Juan discussion forum and one time mentioned the fact that foreign women are better relationship material than American woman. Well some people didn't like that and they flamed me to hell and back! Needless to say, I never mentioned foreign women again on that forum and eventually stopped posting altogether.Winston wrote:Question, or rant rather:
Why is it that on most forums, if you say things they don't like, even if you're not rude or insulting toward anyone, suddenly there are double standards against you?
But most forums are like a mob mentality. If they decide that you are a nuisance, then they hold the double standards against you described above, putting you in a no-win situation. In addition, they also use everything you say against you and even start hallucinating things that you said that you never even said! Why is that? Weird. People seem to see what they want to see, even if it's not there.
Isn't that F ed up or what? Anyone ever wonder the same thing?
Some moderaters go balistic if you even disagree with them in a nice way. The American women suck discussion forum comes to mind. I heard nothing but bad things about the guy who runs that forum. It's nice to belong to a discussion forum here where people are open minded and friendly.
Re: Why do most forums have double standards if they dont ly
Lmao Winston. Don't assume things so readily.Winston wrote:Some, like BellaRuth, are unjaded cause they were fortunate enough to grow up around good caring people, the kind you see on Sesame Street and Mister Rogers, and spared such cruelties. Why couldn't I have been one of those?
I never saw Sesame Street or Mister Rogers but I get your point and I most certainly did not grow up in this manner. Part of me wants to give details to prove my point but I don't think this is necessary.
There are those who've had it easy and grow up as complete bastards. There are those who have had horrible lives and grow up as nice people. It's choice and nothing more.
I'd say don't take it personally if people are rude to you. Likely they'd be rude to you anyway. Leave them to get on with their negative lives and you go be happy.
In 'real life' situations I have hardly any respect for people who are rude as it takes no effort whatsoever to be nice. No matter what day I have had I can muster up politeness and a smile and I expect others to do the same.
Remember though, on the internet, people let loose a little more, and wouldn't act this way if you were there in front of them.
Well the thing is, you don't get anything for being nice to people. Only the elderly appreciate it. And also those in poor countries who are more interdependent and communal, such types will give you points for niceness. But not in First World Western countries like the US. Nice is worthless there. You don't get points for it. If you work as a receptionist, you have to be nice. But in social situations it doesn't earn you any points.
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and SE Asia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
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Re: Why do most forums have double standards if they dont ly
Winston wrote:Question, or rant rather:
Why is it that on most forums, if you say things they don't like, even if you're not rude or insulting toward anyone, suddenly there are double standards against you?
For example, if I say out of the box things, even without insulting anyone, and some members start insulting and attacking or ridiculing me, then they will not get punished. But IF I DO THE SAME back to them in self-defense, then it counts against me, and I will get warned and then banned for disruptive behavior and trolling?
So basically, people can attack me, and it's excusable, but if I fight back, then I'm guilty of bad behavior and banned?
Those are obvious double standards. How come most forums are like that? Anyone ever notice that?
I know what you are talking about, and it all comes down to the fact that websites are owned by individual people or companies and they hire moderators to keep the entire form going in a certain direction.
So for example, citydata is owned by real estate interest and real estate agents use that forum to find customers so when guys like me come around talking about all the downsides to western women in the relationship forum they don't want that kind of info on the forum so they delete many of my post or modify them.
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Yea, on citydata I got to know some people who posted almost around the clock. These people would even be a work posting a bunch of BS. At the same time these same people would complain that they have no life and it was hard to meet anybody.zzzz wrote:Most really large forums seem to have a community of people who post WAY too much and sometimes attack anyone new. I don't know why, just some forums are like this. Some people don't like change no matter how small.
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Winston wrote:Well the thing is, you don't get anything for being nice to people. Only the elderly appreciate it. And also those in poor countries who are more interdependent and communal, such types will give you points for niceness. But not in First World Western countries like the US. Nice is worthless there. You don't get points for it. If you work as a receptionist, you have to be nice. But in social situations it doesn't earn you any points.
Everything you said is very true. I'm self employed, and I deal with Americans exclusively and although they are easy to negoitate money deals with, at the same time they are rude, robotic, cold, and emotionless.
I try to be nice along with doing business with Americans but they look at YOU as if something is wrong with you and I'm sure they take it as some kind of weakness. Conversely, elderly Americans appreciate my kindness and so do foreigners such as people from central or south America.
Someone on the David Icke forum gave this insightful explanation to the same question I posted there.
http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthre ... 782&page=2
http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthre ... 782&page=2
I've seen the same thing, but I call it Scapegoating.
People aren't fair. It's much more important to most people to have their own worldview and ego upheld than it is for them to be fair and impartial. From their position, the most fault lies in someone with a threatening opinion, and not who is actually committing the verbal assault. The worldview disagreement is subconsciously perceived by them as the initial assault, and you defending yourself against the intolerant reaction is the second assault. So in their minds, you've assaulted twice, while the people with the Establishment views who took angry issue with your self-expression only acted up once.
This is why I'm not a sheeple lover or defender-- they can be extremely aggressive and blatantly unfair without even realizing it. An unconscious person is always harmful to self and others to some degree, imo. None of this "the poor harmless sheep don't know what they're doing" bullsh*t for me, thankyouverymuch.
I've come to the decision that I will only post in tolerant and open communities. Even with the occasional bickering here on Icke forum, it is by far more accepting and less confrontive than most.
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and SE Asia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Is this true in real life in the U.S.?Winston wrote:Well the thing is, you don't get anything for being nice to people. Only the elderly appreciate it. And also those in poor countries who are more interdependent and communal, such types will give you points for niceness. But not in First World Western countries like the US. Nice is worthless there. You don't get points for it. If you work as a receptionist, you have to be nice. But in social situations it doesn't earn you any points.
Lots of people like me cos I'm 'nice', and like other people because they are 'nice'.
I work with a grumpy, bitchy teenage waitress and the only ones she has time for are the 'nice' staff members even though she isn't one herself.
I thought it was a universally-accepted trait.
In the circles I hang around in, if you aren't nice, you'll have no chance- and these are normal Western people, not rosy-cheeked country hippies.
I think that guy's right on.Winston wrote:Someone on the David Icke forum gave this insightful explanation to the same question I posted there.
It's the usual social psychology of groups. Most people are desperate to feel like they're part of a group--whether it's online or offline--and are just itching for more opportunities to prove themselves to their group (especially to the group's leaders!). When someone who is clearly an outsider physically or ideologically comes along, these conformists get their cherished opportunity to prove themselves to the group by mercilessly bashing the outsider.
This is also the reason why a lot of kids will just stand by and laught if they see a weaker kid getting teased or beat up. By laughing and pretending to approve, they prove their allegiance to the group and display that they are good "insider" and not a despised "outsider."
And the powerful, established members on online communities like to show off their power by bullying others and waiting for their sycophants to laugh.
Yep, it's basically scapegoating combined with kissing up to those with authority.
We're different here because we actively question authority: such people are often not popular in society ("Hey! Isn't what you guys are doing a bit unethical and pointless?" "Shut up!!").
One of my moderators on my other forum gave me some insights into this question.
Boy I'm sure glad that we don't have that "in crowd" crap on this forum.Happy Thanksgiving to you too!
Basically, you hit the nail right on the head about forums in general. Some people get away with murder and other can't even politely state their personal opinion without being whacked. It's nothing more than a world wide web popularity contest. If you are with the 'in crowd' you can say as you please without fear of reprisal but if you're not part of that group they want to get rid of you real fast and look for just about any excuse.
Because the internet is anonymous, people don't care about what they say or to who. They don't care if their remarks are hurtful or mean. Heck, some people develop a major internet mean streak because it's the only place they can bully other without getting their physical asses whipped.
The solution is to stay away from forums where you are not appreciated and most of all.... don't use the same ID or your real name. If you stay anonymous and don't give any personal information, there is less of a chance of some jerk who knows you from another forum outting you and creating the same problem from forum to forum.
There is no reason for anyone to know your personal business when interacting on subject material. All you need is to state your facts and back up what you say with a bit of Google research. Internet 'bullies' will use anything personal against you to get their point across.
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and SE Asia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Here is another example of how control freakish and insane other forums are. This guy just got banned from the RetirePhilippines Forum for no reason, other than being controversial or showing that he has more knowledge than the forum moderators do. He wrote me and others this mass message for some reason.
"Why are you telling me about this? If you are banned then can you even see this message? Most forums are petty minded and subjective. That's why my forum at HappierAbroad stands out. NO ONE gets banned on my forum for telling the truth. We are freethinkers who are full of truth. Come visit my community and see the refreshing difference:
index.php
Regards,
Winston"
I wrote him back this message and invited him to this forum:-- Original Message --
From: dylanaz
To: Entreprenomad, Colin37, B-Ray, Graham4384, dick7517, WinstonWu, rainymike, tigerllc74, uzicom, Jonnyivy, ManilaCockney, MikeBal, johnamendall
Sent: Mar 19 2011, 6:23 pm EDT
Subject: DYLANAZ just got BANNED from the 'other' site
It was rather odd... I purposely avoided religion and politics - and even when pressured to continue my ARMM thread I simply posted photos with captions.
I think the last thing I posted was to say that BAGUIO is my preferred place to live, but their internet is too slow
Wow... very - odd... no caution, warning or anything... just a ban...
WOW
Exact message I got says :
"An Error Has Occurred!
Sorry dylanaz, you are banned from using this forum! "
Wow...
Thats the price you pay for becomming a local and looking at the world from the inside out
Cheers all
DylanAZ
"Why are you telling me about this? If you are banned then can you even see this message? Most forums are petty minded and subjective. That's why my forum at HappierAbroad stands out. NO ONE gets banned on my forum for telling the truth. We are freethinkers who are full of truth. Come visit my community and see the refreshing difference:
index.php
Regards,
Winston"
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and SE Asia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
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I just want to add that the men's rights forums are some of the worst offenders. They treat horribly anyone they disagree with. The Spearhead comment section let's readers downrate comments until they are hidden, and any comment that doesn't follow the Spearhead party line is inevitably downrated into oblivion. The very worst men's forum is antimisandry.com where you aren't just bashed and censored, but the prick who runs the forum will actually block your access if he doesn't like you. Most other men's forums are the same. The whole MRA/MGTOW movement is dominated by jerks.
The most tolerance that I have seen is on religious forums, particularly Christian and Islamic. And of course this forum which seems rather unique.
The most tolerance that I have seen is on religious forums, particularly Christian and Islamic. And of course this forum which seems rather unique.
I have stopped posting on every board except for this one, because they are a waste of time. I am on this board because it is solution oriented. I am only interested in solutions and sharing good information. Any board that has been around for any length of time develops a small click who treat the board more like a social club, and anyone new who upsets their worldview is unwelcome. The reality is that I am hard pressed to come up with one example of where I have gotten useful information over the Internet. I always solve my immediate problems by making alliances with people in the country where I am actually living. The information is then immediate, relevant, and non BS. The MRA/MGTOW movement is irrelevant to me because I have been living outside the US for four years now, and American men and their female problems just are not relevant to me anymore.
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