Seattle Freeze - Can America get any more antisocial?

[Eric]

I've tried and tried to adapt here - but I'm never happy. I might be autistic or something...I'm willing to admit that. I just appreciate and find other cultures more 'real' and less paranoid and alienating.
I often feel like an alien here.
I definitely haven't dated in years, and I'm sure this has something to do with it. Even my friendships suffer here. There just seems to be nothing under skin deep, here.


I just get tired of acting when going out. I wished the "scene"was different. A bit less narcissistic and paranoid ...and honestly not everything based on "attraction" of men and women to the insane degree. We should have some civility...Nothing wrong, but that eems like there's all there is.
I've found just get it out of your head that you want anything different - you will just make yourself miserable while here. Just try to 'nod to the culture' and get what you can out of it while you are here. Take the good with the bad, and try to glean some depth out of it also...that's the hard part.

[Mercury]

When I went to New York, by purchasing a 5 day subway ticket I discovered a new hobby. Going to the subway station, getting on a train, sitting right next to someone, turning to them and starting up a conversation. They were horrified to show any signs of being human in such a place. I even joked about it with a police officer how it's funny because I'm not breaking any laws, yet it upsets them as if I had killed their dearest family member.

Another thing I noticed was how an offering of a handshake is reacted to like the commanding of a prison sentence.

How true! In America your not supposed to talk to strangers. Your supposed to mind your own business when you are out in public. The only way to meet people is either through your friends or bars, nightclubs and parties.

The opposite is true in a lot of countries where it's ok to talk to strangers while you are out in public places like buses, trains, bookstores and grocery stores. In the US, we are a nation of strangers, a lot of people don't even know who their neighbors are!

What's more scary is when American police literally even act like talking to strangers is a capital felony under Federal law, FBI and Homeland Security enforced, and punishable by even 300 years to life in Federal prison or even up to 100 consecutive life sentences in prison without parole and/or the death penalty for all involved. As if even interacting with strangers at your local bar/tavern would result in about a hundred FBI squad cars swarming the place and a bunch of FBI and Homeland Security officers armed with MP-5s and sniper rifles rushing in, knocking you to the floor, threatening you with use of deadly force, and then hauling you off to Federal lockup.

[Cornfed]

What's more scary is when American police literally even act like talking to strangers is a capital felony under Federal law, FBI and Homeland Security enforced, and punishable by even 300 years to life in Federal prison or even up to 100 consecutive life sentences in prison without parole and/or the death penalty for all involved. As if even interacting with strangers at your local bar/tavern would result in about a hundred FBI squad cars swarming the place and a bunch of FBI and Homeland Security officers armed with MP-5s and sniper rifles rushing in, knocking you to the floor, threatening you with use of deadly force, and then hauling you off to Federal lockup.

I don't know why you insist of exaggerating things to the nth degree. Reality is bad enough.

[traveller]

Yes, the cliquishness of Americans is appalling! Facebook and myspace actually keeps people from interacting with one another face to face. Some people would prefer to just communicate via the internet rather than face to face!

Actually, I see Facebook as a tool to help people keep in touch. Phone numbers change all the time, phones get disconnected, people are too busy to give their new number to their friends, when people especially move to another state or another country, it gets expensive to keep in contact, especially when you have to dial the "011" code followed by about 15 different digits, and International calls can cost up to $15 to $25 for just a few minutes. Even emails get changed or discontinued.

That is where Facebook comes in. Regardless of what state or country one relocates to, his/her Facebook info remains the same. Also, the Facebook Private Messenger is built directly into the website, making it very easy to exchange numbers with old friends you have not seen in years.

Facebook is the #1 way to keep in touch with people. The only other alternative is to cut everyone out of your life who moves to another state or country and close the door on them for good.

[Nailer]

I've tried and tried to adapt here - but I'm never happy. I might be autistic or something...I'm willing to admit that. I just appreciate and find other cultures more 'real' and less paranoid and alienating.
I often feel like an alien here.
I definitely haven't dated in years, and I'm sure this has something to do with it. Even my friendships suffer here. There just seems to be nothing under skin deep, here.


I just get tired of acting when going out. I wished the "scene"was different. A bit less narcissistic and paranoid ...and honestly not everything based on "attraction" of men and women to the insane degree. We should have some civility...Nothing wrong, but that eems like there's all there is.
I've found just get it out of your head that you want anything different - you will just make yourself miserable while here. Just try to 'nod to the culture' and get what you can out of it while you are here. Take the good with the bad, and try to glean some depth out of it also...that's the hard part.

I remember I was stranded in north Seattle (I forget what the neighborhood is called) after the busses stopped running and a middle-aged woman offered to give me a ride back to Ballard. Grateful, I paid for her drink. There was zero sexual intent there (believe me). Then she started saying that maybe I was a serial killer and I was dangerous to her.

I took a cab.

[Adama]

I was in Europe one time at a hospital, and I was in the waiting room asking for help from the desk person. One woman overheard that I needed directions to go to the other hospital nearby. It was only about two blocks away, as it turns out, but I had never been there and didn't know. So this woman who overheard offered me a ride and dropped me off right in front of the other hospital.

I have been to a place here in the states where a woman and I were taking the same class, and we were talking together. She then hopped in her car and left me to walk the way to class. She never offered a ride.

Now I realize that these American women are simply too exalted for me. They are too far above me. I simply cannot reach that high.

[Winston]

This girl that contacted me on YouTube made a video about the Seattle Freeze too. Check it out below. It's only 5 min and she explains why it sucks.

[traveller]

Having lived in Seattle for 25 years, I'd venture to say NO place is as bad as Seattle.

I take it you've never been to DuPage County, Illinois.

DuPage County is one of Chicago's collar counties. It contains many of Chicago's mid and far west suburbs, such as Lombard, Glen Ellyn, Wheaton, Naperville, Downers Grove, Bloomingdale, Elmhurst, Oak Brook, Carol Stream, and West Chicago.

Trust me, even New York City residents would be horribly disgusted at the toxic, anti-social vibe of DuPage County, Illinois. I wouldn't be surprised if there were 50 suicides a day within the student population at College of DuPage and the 4 Glenbard high schools. Even when crowded, that cafeteria at College of DuPage is about as quiet as a study hall. Approaching a woman in DuPage County, Illinois is about as likely to get you a one way trip to DuPage County Jail as pounding a hornet nest is likely to get you swarmed and stung by a bunch of angry hornets.

I'd venture to say that DuPage County, Illinois is far worse than Seattle. Worse than New York City, worse than Toronto, worse than even Chicago itself. Although DeKalb County, Illinois (about roughly 60 miles west of Chicago and home to Northern Illinois University) in fact has a noticeably worse social atmosphere than DuPage County.

[jamesbond]

Just want to mention that I read an article talking about the Seattle freeze, describing how people in that region of the states are very closed and wary of meeting new people. the important thing is that that area has a maritime climate similar to britain.

I have a question here. I wonder which social environment is more anti-social; Britain or Washington State? I would be curious to know. Funnily enough, I should mention that some have said that they find americans more socially open than brits.

It always baffles me that whenever I try to meet people in public in Britain they all seem SO uncomfortable and unapproachable (especially young people). How come, even when I've been to various classes and voluntary work, people are always distant and want to go their own seperate ways and stick with their own little tight clique. Why are english people so bloody terrified of talking to strangers and including new people in their group?

It sucks that meeting new people is confined to pubs and clubs. It is a form of social exclusion. Why are people, especially young people terrified of having conversations? I absolutely detest it.

The fact that meeting people is limited to pubs and clubs, work, mutual introductions etc. is just too bloody restrictive. It enfuriates me when people say 'join clubs, classes and societies'. I've done that. People just want to have polite chit-chat (at most) then keep to themselves. They don't want to meet new people, be invited out, get to know you or even just bring you into their circle. They just go their own seperate ways. Even if you are persistent, it takes YEARS just to meet a handful of people because of this. I really don't get it. I'm sick to death of it.

Question is, when will people stop being so f***ing paranoid and terrified of each other. When will neighbours start talking to each other and inviting each other over? What a depressing society! The weather over here really doesn't help, cloudy a lot of the time.

It seems as if all the english speaking countries are unfriendly and anti social. It must be the way people are raised, to not talk to strangers, (stranger danger) to not socialize with people outside of your social cirlcle.

This explains why most people in Anglo countries only meet people through their friends. How else are you going to meet people living in a closed, cliquish country? No wonder why so many guys are leaving Anglo countries and moving to more friendly countries like the Philippines, Thailand, Brazil, Columbia, Poland and Spain.

[josephty2]

I hate France, I hate Germany.

Really now, why do people eat sushi? Taste? No, university student social signal. Sushi's Japanese not German.

Seattle's like a combination of France and Germany but no actual French people, moreso Scandinavian immigrants. Its not really anti-Vietnamese, but it tries to use some ideas from the French, along with the culture of Germany (when in other areas outside of Washington state, some French ideas may not be easily understood)