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Murphy's Laws in Love and Dating - Hilarious and True! LOL

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Winston
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Murphy's Laws in Love and Dating - Hilarious and True! LOL

Post by Winston » October 8th, 2013, 4:00 pm

Check out these Murphy's Laws in love and dating. They are so funny yet true! I'm sure we've all experienced these to some extent.

http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-love.html

It's a long list. Here are some of my favorite ones:

All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.

The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.

Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

The duration of a relationship to a person is inversely proportionate to the importance of person to you.

When a man wants his wife to hear, she doesn't listen.
When that same man doesn't want his wife to hear, she's all ears.

It's always easier to get a partner if you already have one.

A girlfriend is like a credit card, if you have one it's easier to get a new one.

Being taken attracts women. Being single makes them avoid you like the plague.

The hornier someone is, the less likely that it will be they have sex.
Corollary: Horniness is inversely related to one's chance of scoring

In Romance; and in Finance we play with Figures.

if a man has it he won't want it,
the guy who buys it won't use it,
the guy who uses it could give a shit about it,
so don't give a shit and you will have it all.

Girls are like toilet rooms. Either it is taken, or full of sh*t.

If you're having difficulties choosing between potential two girls, you'll always pick the wrong one.

If a girl tell you "let's stay friends", she won't call ever again. If you call, she won't answer.

Being honest with someone will always turn that person into an enemy.

When you're girlfriend says that you have to talk the relationship is over.

The day you decide to tell you're girlfriend you could not live without her she will leave you the next day.

The more you want a women the less she will want you.

When she says: "Don't buy me anything expensive" and you listen, expect to be single.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife. But they never said anything about their daughter.

The best men (or women) are always taken--or crazy.

When you take your time getting ready your date will arrive 20 min. early; when you're on time they're 30 min. late.

As soon as you break up the man (or woman) who couldn't commit TO YOU will get married.

A good women/men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken.

Procrastination is a lot like masturbation, it feels good until you realize your just f***ing yourself.

Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money.
Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.

The length of a relationship is directly related to how much you are attracted to your significant other's best friend.

Being told your the nicest guy they know is the kiss of death.

The partner you want doesn't want you. The ones that want you are not made for you.

Sex ends all interest.

The love of your life will only want you back once you are in another serious relationship.

The most intelligent statements will be thought of at the most inappropriate times. (i.e. during a make out session, strike up a law of Quantum physics, thus demonstrating that you are not interested in the other person).

If (s)he wants to dump you, (s)he will find a reason.
or
If (s)he wants to dump you, (s)he will.

Marriage is like a dog with a bone, he might not touch it, just doesn't let another dogs come near it.

If you love her/him, s/he doesn't love you
If you are in love, he/she isn't
If you want love, you don't get it
If a beautiful wo/man loves you, it's fake
If you are happy together, wait till you are married

Being told that someone doesn't want to date you because you're such a good friend, is like being told that you didn't get the job because you're overqualified.

The perfection of a person is proportional to how much you love him/her.
The imperfection of a person is proportional to how much you hate him/her.

You'll think of a great line to say to someone the moment after your chance is gone.

Kids in cars cause accidents.
Accidents in cars cause kids.

"All women are neurotic; all men are assholes" - Kurt Vonnegut
Last edited by Winston on May 27th, 2014, 9:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Winston » October 8th, 2013, 4:51 pm

Here are some funny general Murphy's Laws:

http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-laws.html

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw
Corollary: The hidden flaw never stays hidden for long.

(That probably explains the Titanic lol)

Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

(That probably explains why so many of us have procrastinated and stalled about going abroad lol)

Every solution breeds new problems.

After you've bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original.

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere else cheaper.

The other line always moves faster.

In order to get a personal loan, you must first prove you don't need it.

Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.

When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.

Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.

A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.

Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.

"No good deed goes unpunished." - Mark Twain

Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.

If you want something bad enough, chances are you won't get it.

Any time you put an item in a "safe place", it will never be seen again.

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.

You will never leave a parking space without someone in an adjacent space leaving at the same time.

Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statements are never forgotten.

The clothes washer/dryer will only eat one of each pair of socks.

When you see light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel will cave in.
Or in another version:
The light at the end of the tunnel is a train

Whatever you want, you can't have, what you can have, you don't want.

Whatever you want to do, is Not possible, what ever is possible for you to do, you don't want to do it.

Traffic is inversely proportional to how late you are, or are going to be.

The complexity and frustration factor is inversely proportional to how much time you have left to finish, and how important it is.

Crespins law of observation:
the probability of being observed is in direct proportion to the stupidity of ones actions

If authority was mass, stupidity would be gravity.

Hunter's Observation on hypocrites:
A person without values or standards can never be a hypocrite.

Garbage abhors a vacuum. It will grow to fill available space.
Corollary: The more space you have, the more junk you'll have.

Chaos always wins, because it's better organized.

It takes forever to learn the rules and once you've learned them they change again.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds,
the pessimist fears this is true.

You will find an easier way to do it, after you've finished doing it.

In Las Vegas, wherever you want to go in a casino, it's as far as possible from where you are, no matter where you are.

A valuable falling in a hard to reach place will be exactly at the distance of the tip of your fingers.
If a valuable falls in a hard to reach place at a distance shorter than the tip of your finger, as soon as you try to reach it you'll push it to that distance.

When you really need something, its either not available, or can't be found. When you don't need it, its either available, or lays around in plain sight.

Whenever you cut your finger nails, you find a need for them an hour later.

Law of Conservation of Filth:
In order for something to get clean, something else must get dirty.
Conclusion to the Law of Conservation of Filth:
It is possible for everything to get dirty and nothing to get clean.

The file you are looking for is always at the bottom of the largest pile.

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Common Sense Is Not So Common

Common sense isn't.

Power Is Taken... Not Given

If the truth is in your favor no one will believe you.

Key to happiness is to be O.K. with not being O.K.

Every rule has an exception except the Rule of Exceptions.

Law of cooperatives
In any particular situation, if three things can go wrong, they usually do in sequence, each facilitating the occurrence of the next

Lewis' Axiom
The person ahead of you in the queue, will have the most complex transaction possible.

Better to be a pessimist than an optimist because when you say the glass is half empty it will have to be refilled.
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Post by Billy » October 8th, 2013, 6:23 pm

Wow, in other words these are arguments against love but for MGTOW. Basically love is the greatest scam in the history of scams.

I feel inspirated to create one myself: you only get the women which you have paid for.

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Post by Winston » April 2nd, 2014, 6:22 am

I've just wrote a serious post about Murphy's Law here:

viewtopic.php?t=22588
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne

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Re: Murphy's Laws in Love and Dating - Hilarious and True! L

Post by Winston » December 26th, 2015, 10:59 am

Did any of you read the Murphys Laws in love and dating above? They are so depressingly TRUE! Haven't you all experienced them too? They should be very familiar to you. Why are they true though? Why is it that when you love a woman a lot, or want her a lot, it repels her away? It's like you can't have what you want. It seems like the love system is designed for men to fail. Why is that?

Here is one of mine that I'd add to the list:

"If you are happily in love with a partner who is in love with you, something will go wrong. The forces of the universe will gang up to make things go wrong in your relationship to try to break you up, including events that are one in a thousand type chances."

In the general Murphys Laws list above, these ones seem consistently true because I've personally experienced them many times: (but the question is, WHY are they true? What force in the universe is causing these things and working against us?)
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.

Lewis' Axiom
The person ahead of you in the queue, will have the most complex transaction possible.

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere else cheaper.

When you really need something, its either not available, or can't be found. When you don't need it, its either available, or lays around in plain sight.

Whatever you want, you can't have, what you can have, you don't want.

Whatever you want to do, is Not possible, what ever is possible for you to do, you don't want to do it.

You will find an easier way to do it, after you've finished doing it.
These are funny and hilarious by the way. lol
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

Better to be a pessimist than an optimist because when you say the glass is half empty it will have to be refilled.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds,
the pessimist fears this is true.

Hunter's Observation on hypocrites:
A person without values or standards can never be a hypocrite.
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!

Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne

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Re: Murphy's Laws in Love and Dating - Hilarious and True! LOL

Post by fdiv » July 24th, 2018, 2:29 am

Damn Winston your Murphy Karma demon is stalking me now! I began dating a girl and then met her family. Her sister looks A LOT like Tian Jing and has a good personality and is single! Damn it!
options in the US: maybe have a shot at a angry bluehaired landwhale and then, prison :roll:
options abroad: limitless 8)

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