basedonnees wrote:PublicNude, I think it's completely unfair to compare your experience from 10 years ago to nowaday dating site. It's way more challenging to date in london now...
I really don't think hooking up with girls in London is harder now than it was 10 years ago, all things being equal. I have been married for more than 5 years, but the few time my wife and I want to savour some good ol' nightlife in central London, I see exactly the same scenes happening between young men and young women. Nothing has changed. Perhaps the ethnical mix has changed a little, with a lot less Japanese and Korean a lot more Chinese, Vietnamese, slightly more Latin Americans (especially Brazil and Colombia) and a lot more ex Eastern bloc Europeans, which reflects the change in Schengen borders and visa policies.
For many of us, the thing about London is, it's a metropolis that can easily grow with you, at least if you're smart and/or wealthy enough to follow the tide of socio-economic development. You might be a penniless student attending a good uni in central London, say UCL, and having the life of Riley between student parties, genuine cultural evenings, student halls and private apartments promiscuity. The you get your grades, start working and making money, and the opportunities don't really change in quantity or quality - they just shift from the student to the young professional (and occasional postgrad/Phd student) demographics. You may find social/dating hooks in any conceivable team, band, group, club or micro-community that London offers. One of my best friend has been seriously hooked to an Ultimate (frisbee) team for years and most of his friends and girlfriends were from there, then he chose to embrace modern dance and he found a totally new social circle, etc. The difference is very stark between London and any place around London, no matter how commutable. ut if you live in London, as you say you do, there is absolutely no excuse to complain about shortage of social and dating chances.
basedonnees wrote:Just some information about me:
I'm living in london for almost 4 years now, I'm an average asian, shorter than other males and average looking. However, I look young (20-30), I'm not shy, I'm sociable, I have a decent job and can afford to live in central london.
It's true that it's very easy to meet new people, especially foreigner and gap years students... I'm involved in a lot of meetups and I think I talk in average with 8-10 new (decent looking) girls / week. When I say "talk" it's a about a proper conversation of more than 10 mn. All countries. All nationalities. I also go out almost every day, that's how I manage to meet so many of them: On the street, on pub, bar, grocery stores, meeting, etc..
I think I manage to hang out (as 1 to 1) with one of them every 1 or 2 weeks. Sometime it goes a bit further and some kiss... and some somehow look like a date...
But I never manage to really have a girlfriend. They never last. It only works when I manage to get her when she just arrives (within few days/weeks), or if she's chinese (because I'm chinese too) but I'm not really into chinese ones...
So why...? why why why?? I've been asking myself this question for a while... because I've meet SO MANY GIRLS. and when I say many, it's really A LOT! 10 per week is 520 girls / years. I probably have less than that because sometime I like to have a break...
Perhaps that's exactly the problem: you've been focussing on quantity and never gave yourself (let alone a potential partner) the time to discover each other. As a member of your generation I really can't blame you: impatience and a sense of "easy, cheap and yesterday" type of entitlement is basically part and parcel of your DNA. If you took the time to savour every new budding friendship, perhaps calling her multiple times and trying to date the same girl for at least a few weeks, things would certainly progress. Perhaps not in all cases, but in some at least.
Another thing: unless you look like one of those martial arts studs like John Foo, your being Chinese, short and average looking definitely works against you, especially with the more vacuous leggy bimbos, the "birds" in the local parlance. Perhaps you could reduce your frustrations by dating girls within your league. London is full of gorgeous petite girls of Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, Vietnamese etc. origins. Even more than the looks barrier, I think consistency is your real problem.
basedonnees wrote:The answer is actually quite simple:
S A T U R A T E D C O M P E T I T I O N
Leave any decent looking girl anywhere in central london (Zone 1), she'll get picked up by some "PUA" guys within minutes. I've seen that so many times I didn't have any reaction last week when I've let one of the girl I was hanging with 5mn alone to see one guy trying to get her number.
That a guy hits on a girl in a public venue when he sees her alone and/or unsupervised, doesn't necessarily mean he's following some PUA plot. It's just standard practice. The sporadic times my wife and I have hit the London nightlife without groups of friends, we both received passing attention from random chaps. It's what normally happens in a typical, crowded London nightlife venue.
basedonnees wrote:If a decent looking girl is waiting in common places such as covent garden, soho, or else can be picked up 4-5 times in 30 mn... Worse is when you talk to a girl and she asks you if you knew the guy who said the same thing to her 5 mn ago...
If you're meeting a girl for a date, she might have given her number 5 times by the time you met her...
Which is why it's quite important to know what you're doing and refrain from that kind of pathetic robotic approach preached by the PUA gurus. And anyway, are you looking for a girfriend or a random pickup potentially leading to a one-night stand? If it's the former, I think you're barking up the wrong trees. Maybe something arranged by a common friend, or even a quiet coffee shop date arranged via Zooks, Badoo or Tinder?
basedonnees wrote:London WAS maybe a good place to pick up. 10-15 years ago. Saying the same thing now is disillusionary. You however still get bonus if you're good looking (doesn't have to be italian) or british because they want to learn the language. My british friend has more luck than me because he can play on the language...
You don't know what you're talking about. How can you even know if you weren't here 5 years ago, let alone 10-15? Nobody gives a damn about language exchange if you're Italian or foreign, unless you have enough patience to realise the potential and drag that person in a quieter place when a better conversation can be had, instead of trying for fluid exchange. You say your British friend has more luck...you mean because he's a native speaker and can run circles around foreign girls?