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Discuss personal development, self-improvement and motivational psychology.
7 posts • Page 1 of 1
http://www.crisismagazine.com/2016/trau ... osexuality
The Traumatic Foundation of Male Homosexuality
As a psychologist treating homosexually oriented men, I’ve watched with dismay as the LGBT movement has convinced the world that “gay” requires a revised understanding of the human person.
The psychological profession is much to blame for this shift. Once, it was generally agreed that normality is “that which functions in accordance with its design.” There was no such thing as a “gay person,” for humanity was recognized as naturally and fundamentally heterosexual. In my 30-plus years of clinical practice, I have seen the truth of that original anthropological understanding.
Homosexuality is, in my view, primarily a symptom of gender trauma. Although some people may have been born with biological conditions (prenatal hormonal influences, inborn emotional sensitivity) that make them especially vulnerable to such trauma, what distinguishes the male homosexual condition is that there was an interruption in the normal masculine identification process.
Homosexual behavior is a symptomatic attempt to “repair” the original wound that left the boy alienated from the innate masculinity that he has failed to claim. This differentiates it from heterosexuality, which arises naturally from undisturbed gender-identity development.
The basic conflict in most homosexuality is this: the boy—usually a sensitive child, more prone than average to emotional injury—desires love and acceptance from the same-sex parent, yet feels frustration and rage against him because the parent is experienced by this particular child as unresponsive or abusive. (Note that this child may have siblings who experienced the same parent differently).
Homosexual activity will be the erotic reenactment of this love-hate relationship. Like all the “perversions”—and I use that term not to be unkind, but in the sense that homosexual development “perverts,” or “turns a person away from,” the biologically appropriate object of erotic attachment—same-sex eroticism contains an intrinsic dimension of hostility.
Thus, homosexuality is inherently rooted in conflict: conflict about the acceptance of one’s natural gender, conflict in the parent-child relationship, and usually, conflict regarding ostracism by same-sex peers. This means we will see the emergence of dominance-submission themes contaminating gay relationships.
For the homosexually oriented man, sexuality is an attempt to incorporate, “take in,” and “master” another male. It functions as a symbolic “possession” of the other person that is often more aggressive than loving. One client described his sexualization of fear-provoking men as “the victory of the orgasm.” Another, as the “orgasmic painkiller.”
There are some exceptions to the trauma model of homosexual development. We have found at our clinic another form of homosexuality that is characterized by a mutual, affectional attachment, most often seen in our adolescent clients and in some immature adults. In this type of homosexual attraction, there are no hostile-dependent features, but rather, a romantic adolescent quality—an infatuation that has a sexual manifestation. Such liaisons may occur for a period of months or years and then be abandoned, never to be resumed, as this phase of attraction passes.
Still, the general rule remains: If a child is traumatized in a particular way that affects gender, he will become homosexual, and if you do not traumatize a child in that particular way, the natural process of heterosexual development will unfold.
Many gay men report sexual abuse by a same-sexed person during their boyhood. Sexual molestation is abuse, because it comes disguised as love. Here is one client’s account of an older teen who molested him:
I wanted love and attention, and it got all mixed up with sex. It happened during a time when I really had no sexual interest in other boys… I thought he [the abuser] was cool. He never gave me any attention unless he wanted to fool around. When we did get sexual, it felt special… It felt exciting and intense, something between us, a shared secret. I had no other friends and my lousy relationship with my father didn’t help. I was looking for friendship…[but] the intensity of the memory… I hate it. The whole thing is just disgusting, disturbing…. This is the root cause of my same-sex attraction.
This client had made the following association: “In order to receive the good: i.e. ‘love’ and ‘attention,’ I must accept myself as shameful and bad: engaging in activity which is ‘frightening,’ ‘forbidden,’ ‘dirty,’ and ‘disgusting.’ ”
In therapy, as this client attended to the feelings in his body during an unwanted homo-arousing moment, he discovered that before he felt a homosexual feeling, he would invariably experience the sense of having been shamed by another man. In a reenactment of his childhood abuse, the “shamed self” proved to be a necessary prerequisite to his homosexual arousal.
The relationship between this client’s past abuse and his present-day homosexual enactment is an example of a repetition compulsion. In the search to find love and acceptance, he becomes entangled in repeating a self-defeating and self-punishing behavior, through which he unconsciously seeks to gain final victory and resolve his core injury. Repetition compulsion contains three elements: (1) attempt at self-mastery, (2) a form of self-punishment, (3) avoidance of the underlying conflict.
For such men, the pursuit of fulfillment through same-sex eroticism is spurred by the fearful anticipation that their masculine self-assertion will inevitably fail and result in humiliation. They opt for a ritualized reenactment with the hope that, unlike all other past occasions, “This time, I will finally get what I want; with this man, I will find masculine power for myself,” and “this time, the nagging sense of internal emptiness will finally disappear.” Instead he has given one more person the power to reject him, shame him, and make him feel worthless. When the shame-producing scenario is played out over and over again, this only reinforces his conviction that he really is a hopeless victim and ultimately unworthy of love.
Gay men often report craving an “adrenalin zap” which is heightened by an element of raw fear. There is an entire gay subculture of public sex that revels in the thrill of acting out in places like parks, public bathrooms and truck stops, and is erotically driven by the fear of discovery and exposure.
The act of sodomy itself is intrinsically masochistic. Anal intercourse, as a violation of our bodily design, is unhealthy and anatomically destructive, damaging the rectum and spreading disease because the rectal tissues are fragile and porous. Psychologically, the act humiliates and demeans a man’s dignity and masculinity.
Compulsive sexual acting-out—with its high drama and its promise of gratification—masks the deeper, healthier underlying drive to gain authentic attachment.
The dysfunction of the gay male world is undeniable. Scientific studies offer us evidence for the following sad comparisons:
Sexual Compulsivity is more than six times greater among gay men.
Gay men engage in partner interpersonal violence three times more often than do heterosexual men.
Gay men engage in the sadistic practices at much higher rates than do heterosexual men.
The incidence of mood disorders and anxiety disorders is almost three times greater among gay men.
Panic Disorder is more than four times greater than for heterosexual men.
Bipolar Disorder is more than five times greater than heterosexual men.
Conduct Disorder is almost four times greater (3. than heterosexual men.
Agoraphobia (fear of being in public places) is more than six and a half times greater than among heterosexual men.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is more than seven times greater (7.18) than heterosexual men.
Deliberate Self Harm, (suicidality) is more than twice (2.58) to over ten times (10.23) greater than among heterosexual men
Nicotine Dependence is five times greater than heterosexual men
Alcohol Dependence is close to three times greater than among heterosexual men
Other Drug Dependence is more that four times greater than heterosexual men.
Promiscuity is well-illustrated in the classic research of McWhirter and Mattison, two gay men who reported in their book The Male Couple (1984), that of 165 relationships they studied, not a single pair was able to maintain fidelity for more than five years. The authors—a gay couple themselves—were surprised to discover that outside affairs were not only not damaging to the relationship’s endurance, but were in fact essential to its very survival. They conclude: “The single most important factor that keeps couples together past the ten-year mark is the lack of possessiveness they feel” (p. 256).
By recognizing the love-hate dimension in homoerotic activity we can empathize with the homosexual man’s reparative attempt at resolution of his childhood trauma. This offers us a window of understanding as to why there continues to be deep dissatisfaction in the gay community in spite of unprecedented gains in gay social acceptability.
Homosexuality has no significance in the natural world other than as a symptom, a consequence of tragic events. Otherwise it is otherworldly, a figment made of fantasy and desire. But through the help of social media, Hollywood and political force (most recently, the Obama administration), a new definition of the human person has been invented. This linguistic sleight-of-hand has created a figment of the imagination; an erotic illusion has hijacked reality. Classical anthropology has been turned on its head and a new man has been contrived. When a person labels himself “gay,” he moves himself out of the natural realm and disqualifies himself from fully participating in human destiny.
From father to son to grandson to great-grandson, a man’s seed is his link to the generations. Through his DNA, he lives on in other lives. When implanted into the woman’s womb, his seed produces human life. But in homosexual sex, the seed of life can only result in decay and death.
In the natural sex act, the human race is preserved, and the man lives on through future generations. But in the trauma-driven sex act that violates our bodily design, his generative power engenders death and annihilation. And so the wisdom of the body presents this contrast: new life vs. decay and death.
No wonder we see so much dissatisfaction in the gay world; not just because of society’s disapproval, but because the man who lives in that world, senses the futility of a gay identity. It represents the termination of that long line of his ancestors who were once linked together, through the ages, in natural marriage.
In the real world, a gay identity makes no sense. Only as a symptom, as an eroticized reparation for attachment loss, does homosexuality have meaning.
Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D., is the Clinical Director of the Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic in Encino, CA and author of four books on homosexuality, including Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality and Shame and Attachment Loss. To learn more, visit JosephNicolosi.com.
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.
Somebody actually took the time to write all that about faggots?
LOL....another failed white man's logic...
Look at the Psy-op...They have to write so long, such lengthy article because its BS...they need to write this long to make you believe in fake ....
Homosexuality, LGBTQ is nothing but possession....If you are homosexual...you are possessed by a female ghost...
All problems are spiritual in nature.
See ..Just two lines and I'm done with it ...I don't need to write a million words to convince you that homosexuality is satanic
Truth does not need much convincing...You will come to truth or you will not...These people want to insert truth into your head...aks lies...by writing such long articles...
I believe they are writing it to show you that it's unhealthy starchild, not the other way around.
Kradmelder, they are people too. I think I believe this too. Why can't we get accurate facts on homosexuality? Why is it presented as something chic or cool or a fad, not as disordered. I know some gay people and they are all without exception screwed up. I think many of them believe they are like that...but you can see a compulsive behavior in them that reeks of trauma... just like author said. It's sad. They seem to be unhappy imbalanced. Though I know a guy who was with another guy for 10 years...so I don't know.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.
My roommate in college was homosexual. I didn't know he was a homosexual at the time. But he had a terrible relationship with his father.
I would say though, that just like becoming a serial murderer, or a serial adulterer, it is the choice of the individual to walk down the wrong path. How much does murder appeal to you? Homosexuality should appeal to you about as much as that.
The rulers of this world are spiritually wicked, and want everyone to be homosexual, and they want every woman in rebellion against God and men. They are achieving this goal, which is one indicator that we are getting closer to the end.
In the end time, the world will be as wicked as Sodom and Gomorrah and the days of Noah. That is, with people being great fornicators in homosexuality and murderers.
A homosexual is a reprobate, and all reprobates are sociopaths, regardless how pristine and innocent they seem on the outside. They are like a piece of tin covered with silver. Seemingly precious on the outside, but it's only made of tin.
Seriously. Why would you want to have detailed conversations with homosexuals and seek to get to know them deeply? These are people who should be avoided. They are mentally twisted. But then again, the reason why most people become psychs is because they figure working on another person's problems helps with their own issues. They're completely stupid, even awarding themselves (one another) titles of honor and wisdom, such as Doctor of Philosophy.
I think a major problem in today's wicked world is pornography...which distracts and disrupts, yet everyone thinks its alright, and the media says its okay? It's an issue of, well if "he wants to look at it than he can". No, the issue is why's it there at all... and who'd want to be looking at it? It's that people can't help themselves and they know it. It's a huge issue. It's a main reason I think the internet was invented. How could the world be so. I believe Adama is right, but I don't have the answers.
It truly freaked me out reading about the explanations and justifications for homosexuality as if it were normal... healthy. It was one of the ways I freaked out spiritually when I knew I was being manipulated and deceived purposely when I started reading about this stuff, this is evil and shouldn't be allowed. Youre right, society can't last long...
none of this should be allowed into a spiritually healthy society. The other thing that cued me off was attacking Christ and Jesus and Christianity. .. only a sick individual would do that. Period. I always couldn't understand what evil.would hate Christ, growing up, nothing made sense to me. ... I swear. It wasn't until I read more and understood some history that I understood. But I still can't fathom it, these people are so completely opposite of , and spiritually dark that I just don't want to understand them, even though, now I do.
It was like literally trying to understand an alien. Now some of the fear's gone because I know, but disgust remains. When you're young... you freak out and overwhelmed because you don't know. ..
But now you know, sort of. Who would hate Christ?
Someone that's from a different group, a worldly one...that stands to lose everything from it. So they have to do everything they can to keep it, that's what it comes down to.
I didn't think in terms of this when I was younger, I just knew to hang onto my beliefs and myself and I was scared... I knew the better I'd be if I hang on.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.