Paradox: How can unapproachable AW all be taken?

[Rich]

How can it be that nearly every AW that's decent looking and not ugly is taken (or claims to be), yet at the same time, they are unapproachable and unfriendly to men?

They are unapproachable and unfriendly to men ... that they aren't attracted to.

I mean, if men can't approach them or hit on them or seduce them, or even talk to them in most cases, how do they all get "taken" as they claim?

Unattractive men can't approach them.
Plenty "taken" women will let you "borrow" them, ... if you're "hawt" enough.

Who are the guys that have "taken" them and how did they get them? How are these guys any different or better than us? What do they do that's different?

The men are interesting (or useful) to the particular woman in some way. They don't have to be "better" by your standards. It's not a merit based scoring system you can take on a scantron.

How do their boyfriends/husbands get them if they aren't approachable?

Men chase, women choose. These guys were chosen.

Agree with everything here. There's no paradox, it's incredibly simple.

[jamesbond]

How can it be that nearly every AW that's decent looking and not ugly is taken (or claims to be), yet at the same time, they are unapproachable and unfriendly to men? I mean, if men can't approach them or hit on them or seduce them, or even talk to them in most cases, how do they all get "taken" as they claim?

Who are the guys that have "taken" them and how did they get them? How are these guys any different or better than us? What do they do that's different? How do their boyfriends/husbands get them if they aren't approachable?

See what I mean? It's sort of a paradox, on the surface at least.

What do you think?

I have asked myself that same question a thousand times, how can women in America meet guys and get married and have boyfriends if they are so unfriendly and anti-social towards men? How are they meeting men if they don't let men approach them?

It seems like almost every woman in the USA has a boyfriend. Hell, I see a lot of fat girls and ugly girls with boyfriends in the area I live in. I also know of guys who are good looking, in good shape and make lot's of money who couldn't meet a woman if their life depended on it! WTF?

It seems like in America women have unlimited dating options (even though the women in the US are not approachable or friendly towards men). Is the dating scene f***ed up in America for men or what?

[Hero]

Loops, you seem to think that any frustrated guy who can't find a suitable woman must be a total loser who's just not trying hard enough. Well, I know plenty of guys who are anything but losers, and yet they can't find a quality wife. Hell, I know an extremely successful doctor, a graduate of West Point and Bethesda Medical school, who actually married a disfigured girl with a speech impediment. So please, give it a rest already. We've all heard this bullshit that you're spewing a million times, and we're not listening to it anymore. That's why we're seeking love abroad rather than working our asses off here for no reward.

I don't think that. I was just trying to offer a bit of advice and try to understand the other side of the coin. I was just trying to provide a little feedback based on what me and my friends experience dating as in this country. I have roots from somewhere else though, so I guess I may not be the average AW.

We aren't interested in your "feedback".

[loops77]

Loops, you seem to think that any frustrated guy who can't find a suitable woman must be a total loser who's just not trying hard enough. Well, I know plenty of guys who are anything but losers, and yet they can't find a quality wife. Hell, I know an extremely successful doctor, a graduate of West Point and Bethesda Medical school, who actually married a disfigured girl with a speech impediment. So please, give it a rest already. We've all heard this bullshit that you're spewing a million times, and we're not listening to it anymore. That's why we're seeking love abroad rather than working our asses off here for no reward.

I don't think that. I was just trying to offer a bit of advice and try to understand the other side of the coin. I was just trying to provide a little feedback based on what me and my friends experience dating as in this country. I have roots from somewhere else though, so I guess I may not be the average AW.

We aren't interested in your "feedback".

Hmm..now you confirmed for me that most of you all are losers...Why are you still trying to "figure it out" if you are supposedly all abroad and happier with foreign women?

This response clarified why you guys can't get any play. Continue to be victims. Happy 2014.

[Hero]

Hmm..now you confirmed for me that most of you all are losers...Why are you still trying to "figure it out" if you are supposedly all abroad and happier with foreign women?

This response clarified why you guys can't get any play. Continue to be victims. Happy 2014.

There's no way, by any stretch of the imagination, that I could be considered a "loser". I accomplished more by age 32 than most people will in a lifetime. In addition to that, even brutally honest women tell me that I'm good-looking And I've had plenty of opportunities in this country to get married, but I'm holding out for something better, because I deserve it. The real losers are they guys who marry sub-par women because they cave in to societal pressure to get married.

[Guyver]

2. In America, social life is all about CLIQUES. You are expected to mind your own business and limit your social interaction to within your own clique or family. AW aren't comfortable talking to strangers. They limit their socializing to within their own clique. If you are outside their clique, they aren't friendly to you. But even if you are in her clique, if you aren't her type, she won't be into you either, which goes without saying. Regardless, we aren't conformists so we don't break into cliques naturally.

This pretty well sums up the largest portion of the problem. If you aren't involved in a clique, then you are on your own. If you are in involved in a clique, and every single woman in the clique doesn't consider you her type for whatever reason, then you are shit out of luck. My experience is every clique that I have ever belonged to, most of the women are already with a man. Also, Winston, what do you consider the natural way to break into a clique? Join the local golf club or something?

[Guyver]

Women are not responsive to men that they are not attracted to. This is if you are introducing yourself to them cold.

It also gets tiring to politely avoid guys that come on to you, unless you already know them from work, school, hobby activities. Even as an average woman, there are men that try to pick me up several times a day when I am happy being celibate and single..and that is a personal choice, not something that has to do with the man approaching me. Women open up more when they have at least seen you around the block a few times and are familiar with you in some way. That goes for the decent women that I know. Remember that some of us are just protecting ourself from being used since a lot of guys will pretend to be a good guy and fake comittment for sex. Then, when you let your guard down, you find out that the guy isn't what he presented himself to be.

It is true that Americans in general are very cliquey..and most women that I know find their partners in their group. Outsiders are generally overlooked.

I honestly would like to know how most men on here approach women? Do you go for the 9/10 chicks and expect to score everytime? Do you see them as a commodity or as a human being with their own likes/predilections/preferences?

If you have men approaching you on a daily basis, then just wait until you get older. From what older women are saying, that will come to a screeching halt. Don't you think there should be a line somewhere in protecting yourselves? There are only 2 reasons that I can think of for these guys feigning commitment for sex. The first is he is just plain screwed up from something in his past. The second is that he is thinking of how you are going to hurt him later on in life by using pro-female divorce laws against him if he does make the commitment.

Thank you for your honest question. Most of us on here wised up after seeing that approaching women doesn't work on this side of the world. Most of you want nothing to do with us for whatever reason you want to state. I stopped cold approaching women many years ago. Do we expect to score with 9/10 chicks every time? Whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. Regardless of what you look like, the only thing that I expect is for you to give me a chance. Unfortunately, since you AW are too busy overprotecting yourselves, I don't see that happening. For your last question, I see a misguided, misrepresented, misinformed, man-fearing, man-disdaining, overly picky female human being believing that I am supposed to be made of steel in order to get through her impossible barrier in order to get to know her. Any other questions?

[droid]

How can it be that nearly every AW that's decent looking and not ugly is taken (or claims to be), yet at the same time, they are unapproachable and unfriendly to men? I mean, if men can't approach them or hit on them or seduce them, or even talk to them in most cases, how do they all get "taken" as they claim?
Who are the guys that have "taken" them and how did they get them? How are these guys any different or better than us? What do they do that's different? How do their boyfriends/husbands get them if they aren't approachable?......

Again, you forget to mention the demographics. See, remember the 1million army of extra chumps here in the States?, it breaks down to about an extra 1000 dudes per town. That's why Winston, that's why one goes out and there's an extra 10-20 guys in the bar hitting on the women. Add to that that the men in the average are better looking than the women, and the results are predictable. No magic about it; feminism could push xyz agenda all it wanted, but without these ingredients, it wouldn't happen.

Thus: If an AW decides to date, all she has to do is either: answer the phone, reply to the Facebook message of her choosing, or just say "Ok, yes, I'll give you a chance" to one of the several chumps that approach her a day.
And they do get approached a lot. Guys literally beg here, haven't you seen it? At work, at school, etc. they may not be technically hard-cold approaches, but I've seen it. Just when you're about to make your move, ZAP! another CHUMP starts hitting on her and cock-blocking.

The regular Joes you see dating/married or claiming to be 'pulling' have settled for heavy-set and/or trashy tat'ed up women, below their true league, don't forget about that. American guys have no standards whatsoever, and they're eager to white-knight the first OW single-mom that gives them the time of day, all the while saying "oh, this feels sooo right". I see it all the time with my own eyes.


Salsa classes? LMAO, tried that, only to dance with older ladies (no disrespect), and the few occasional younger ones would put absolutely no effort into a friendly conversation (And yes, ZAP! another CHUMP starts hitting on her and cock-blocking).

[droid]

Why not seek to improve yourself as best as you can? Or, pick women that are more in your league? Fat chicks will go with fat guys...etc etc.

Wrong, Fat chicks get to go with ripped guys above their league.

But you can't be a wooden log either than burries his head in books all day. Take an effort to engage us.

And, you don't need to put any effort whatsoever. Each and every requirement falls on the man.

[Winston]

Just because you take a class with a lot of girls isn't going to do anything. The girls aren't going to see you outside of the class and will blow you off with "I have a boyfriend" if you ask them out. If they are all taken, what's the point?

The point is NOT to ask them out right away. You'll come off as some kind of creep, and they don't know you that well anyway. I'd be creeped out if a girl asked me out, 5 minutes after seeing me too! Either she's my soulmate, or some kind of soulSUCKER

In my experience, you gotta spend TIME in the class. Once people are around you more, you seem more like a regular. Someone they can get to know. People who you may not think you could get in your entire life, start TALKING TO YOU! O_O

People who you may not know, want to be your friend. This has happened my whole life, so I can at least vouch for THAT happening. Whatever you do, don't do anything with the desired outcome being getting laid. Might as well go to the strip club for that.

Sure, being around the women in the class more will make them more familiar and acquainted with you. But so what? What do you get out of that? You still don't get dates. You still get friendzoned. Tons of women have gotten to know me and became comfortable with me. They have called me "a good friend, like a brother" etc. One Vietnamese girl who was a friend of my Vietnamese ex even told me that I was such a good listener and so easy to talk to and wise and understanding, that she felt like I was her "best girlfriend". lol. I didn't know how to take that. ::::: eyes rolling ::::::

In fact, I still have female friends in the US that I've known for 10 or 15 years. But so what? They trust me and are very comfortable around me. They appreciate my intellect and uniqueness and how I'm different from other guys and far more wise and understanding. But they aren't suddenly going to want to date me or get romantic or sexual no matter how comfortable they are with me.

Maybe in the movies a long time female friend could develop feelings for you, or maybe in Asia too, but not in real life America. I'm a quality guy and quality friend, so plenty of women are happy to friendzone me for life. But so what? That doesn't get me dates, sex, love, or romance.

I can't just call a woman I've known for 10 or 15 years and ask her to have sex with me because I'm horny. I would love to have a f**k buddy or "friends with benefits" but they don't want that with me.

See what I mean? Look at the big picture. It's still a zero sum game. Why play a futile game that you can't win at? I might as well play basketball with Michael Jordan and lose 1000 times in a row. Same thing.

Bottom line is that nothing you've said changes anything or proves anything I said wrong. Results are still the same.

More than one woman had told me some variation of 'girls like bad boys, but they don't make good husbands'", long before PUA became well known.

Every man's life will not mirror yours for 20 different variables & reasons. Some guys are going to do, see, and experience things that won't happen to you and vice versa. That doesn't make it fiction.

Yeah, well more than woman has told me that most women she knows do not go for bad boys and that only a small minority of women do. I would probably agree with that. Most AW just want a guy who is their type who meets their standards. He doesn't have to be a bad boy. Go to any public place and look around. Not every guy with an AW is a bad boy. MOST of them aren't. They are just the girl's type.

Yeah every man's experience is different. But more than half of the white guys I've met lie and BS and make up shit. Guys bullshit a lot, you know, especially online. Most of the PUA talk sounds like bullshit. No one I know in real life says things like that. And certainly no guy I know who understands women believes in any PUA shit. They do not use words like "alpha male" and "beta male" or "bad boys" or "cocky and funny", or rate women from 1 to 10, etc. They've never even heard of any PUA shit. The PUA talk I hear sounds totally fictional, existing only on the internet. Not something that applies in real life. No wise or down to earth guy uses such terms or puts people in such categories. Mature adults don't do that. Only geeks who live on the computer use such terms. This speaks volumes.

[Winston]

You gotta consider that, and stop assuming that America is the world and that the only dating options are in America. They are not. Don't you get our message?

I'm not assuming. I know that there is a big world out there. I was just trying to pick your brains and gain a little perspective. I guess I wonder why there are still complaints about AW still since everyone seems to be over seas or trecking overseas. I personally shun away from dating American men and I have had good luck doing that. I guess I'm just trying to see the otherside of the coin.

But, In your post, you said that you see average guys with good looking women all of the time. Isn't that proof that, hey, AW don't always get with hot guys with money, status, and...whatever you guys think attracts women?

Well think about it. We all know that FW are better, but many guys can't just pick up and go overseas. They have jobs here, bills, low budget, etc. Also moving overseas is a huge step that most guys can't do. It takes a lot of will and resourcefulness to pull it off. You try it and you'll see what I mean.

People on the internet like to vent. A lot of us here are like movie critics. We love to nitpick things and judge. It gives us a sense of power in a world where we feel powerless.

Who do you date if you don't date American men? Do guys cold approach you? If so, how?

I think you misunderstood me. I never said that I see average guys with good looking women all the time in the US. (I do see that in Asia though) I said that I see couples everywhere in America. Usually they are either average joes with fat or trashy women, or very attractive tall guys with slightly cute girls.

[Winston]

2. In America, social life is all about CLIQUES. You are expected to mind your own business and limit your social interaction to within your own clique or family. AW aren't comfortable talking to strangers. They limit their socializing to within their own clique. If you are outside their clique, they aren't friendly to you. But even if you are in her clique, if you aren't her type, she won't be into you either, which goes without saying. Regardless, we aren't conformists so we don't break into cliques naturally.

This pretty well sums up the largest portion of the problem. If you aren't involved in a clique, then you are on your own. If you are in involved in a clique, and every single woman in the clique doesn't consider you her type for whatever reason, then you are shit out of luck. My experience is every clique that I have ever belonged to, most of the women are already with a man. Also, Winston, what do you consider the natural way to break into a clique? Join the local golf club or something?

I don't know. I haven't belonged to many cliques. I've always had one to one friendships, or a small group of friends. In Washington, I went to meetings with the Sci Fi Club and camping trips with them, but they were never really close. It was more of a hobby group with geeks loosely connected.

I guess people break into cliques through friends or friends, or get invited. You know how it is. I don't think people work hard to break into cliques or prove themselves. They just get involved in stuff and naturally break in. Like attracts like, so they find a like-minded group that they fit into.

It's probably better if you ask this question of people who have broken into cliques and found their partner in one. Or go around your neighborhood and ask average ordinary Americans about this. lol

I've always wondered though, how people in America make new friends if they move or their friends grow apart. I've heard that a lot of people in America have no friends, only acquaintances, especially in big cities and in the SF Bay Area. They just accept it and don't draw attention to it.

[Teal Lantern]

Yeah, well more than woman has told me that most women she knows do not go for bad boys and that only a small minority of women do. I would probably agree with that. Most AW just want a guy who is their type who meets their standards. He doesn't have to be a bad boy. Go to any public place and look around. Not every guy with an AW is a bad boy. MOST of them aren't. They are just the girl's type.

Thing is, the girl's "type" will change according to where she is in her life. They won't tell you this, directly. What really sucks is when her "type" changes, while you're with her.
In public, I see all kinds. Women past mid-20s who are (or looking to be) married usually aren't with the "bad boy", that was for fun. The guy I see them with, now, is for paying the bills.
As you go lower down the class scale and/or younger in age, the ratio of girls with "fun guys" vs "good guys" flips well in favor of the fun guys.
So, when you say "with an AW", it really depends on whether you're talking about with or without a ring and with or without co-habitating. When you ask about AW, do you only mean the white ones?

Yeah every man's experience is different. But more than half of the white guys I've met lie and BS and make up shit. Guys bullshit a lot, you know, especially online. Most of the PUA talk sounds like bullshit. No one I know in real life says things like that. And certainly no guy I know who understands women believes in any PUA shit. They do not use words like "alpha male" and "beta male" or "bad boys" or "cocky and funny", or rate women from 1 to 10, etc. They've never even heard of any PUA shit. The PUA talk I hear sounds totally fictional, existing only on the internet. Not something that applies in real life. No wise or down to earth guy uses such terms or puts people in such categories. Mature adults don't do that. Only geeks who live on the computer use such terms. This speaks volumes.

I used to think this about a lot of things, too. It turns out, going forward, fewer adults will meet any definition of "mature" you care to create, pua lingo or not..

[Mr.Darcy]

Lol this dating advice only applies to white men. If you are a young minority in a conservative area than you are beyond fuckeddd

[jamesbond]

Again, you forget to mention the demographics. See, remember the 1million army of extra chumps here in the States?, it breaks down to about an extra 1000 dudes per town. That's why Winston, that's why one goes out and there's an extra 10-20 guys in the bar hitting on the women. Add to that that the men in the average are better looking than the women, and the results are predictable. No magic about it; feminism could push xyz agenda all it wanted, but without these ingredients, it wouldn't happen.

Thus: If an AW decides to date, all she has to do is either: answer the phone, reply to the Facebook message of her choosing, or just say "Ok, yes, I'll give you a chance" to one of the several chumps that approach her a day.
And they do get approached a lot. Guys literally beg here, haven't you seen it? At work, at school, etc. they may not be technically hard-cold approaches, but I've seen it. Just when you're about to make your move, ZAP! another CHUMP starts hitting on her and cock-blocking.

The regular Joes you see dating/married or claiming to be 'pulling' have settled for heavy-set and/or trashy tat'ed up women, below their true league, don't forget about that. American guys have no standards whatsoever, and they're eager to white-knight the first OW single-mom that gives them the time of day.

Salsa classes? LMAO, tried that, only to dance with older ladies (no disrespect), and the few occasional younger ones would put absolutely no effort into a friendly conversation (And yes, ZAP! another CHUMP starts hitting on her and cock-blocking).

You hit the nail on the head! First of all, studies show there are at LEAST 4 million more single men than single women in the US between the ages of 18 and 49. Not only that, in America 50% of the women are overweight!

Also, like you said, if a woman really want's to meet a man, all she has to do is respond to the guys who are sending her messages on Facebook. She could use online dating and get hundreds of guys a month sending her messages. (even if she is fat or ugly she will still get lot's of guys sending her messages).

Your correct when you say "American guys have no standards whatsoever." I have seen good looking guys settle and date and marry ugly girls. I know of guys who make lot's of money who are married to women who are morbidly obese!

In America, the dating scene is so one-sided in the woman's favor, it's not even funny! Roosh V estimates that the average girl in America will get asked out 2,500 times before she get's married! Holy dog shit, no wonder why women in America are so picky about what guys they go out with, they have ton's of options!