Some observations of American girls vs foreign...

[onethousandknives]

viewtopic.php?f=46&t=28563&start=15#p240993
So, this post I'm making now is in context of this post here.

Anyway, I made a post on here before about OKCupid, even about my unsure conclusions of it, of whether or not I can date in USA or not. For my personal background, I am considered a good looking dude, and was (when I answered match questions and looked at local girl's profiles often...) getting one or more "likes" per day, now dropping to 2-3 a week that I mostly use it as an IM client for foreign girls. I'm also young, too, 24. Don't make much money, not college educated, but decent looking and (I guess?) smart. However, have been diagnosed Aspergers. So, not to necessarily brag, just a combination of things to take into account.

So, I was thinking of how to organize this post. I think first, I'll start with the good, or at least OK experiences of American girls, then the bad, then the comparison with foreign girls.

So, the good. Validation of some sort. I'd heard comments from random (mostly older) people about my looks, but it felt pretty sweet getting all those "likes" and profile views of various girls. I can completely understand why girls go nuts over this sort of thing. Strangely, especially to people on this forum, I actually talked to two virgins. One was a quite traditional (by modern standards, though she hated being called this...) Pakistani-American girl, who I got on with pretty well. I guess somewhat awkward compared to the foreign girls, but still not really bad. Usually responded reasonably quick. Never actually had a boyfriend before, was 27 or 28. Said I was actually the only "normal" guy who talked to her. Another girl was "nerdy" like me somewhat, and possibly had Aspergers (she said so anyway...) seemed fairly intelligent. Also virgin too, she said, at 27 (but I doubt her more than the Pakistani girl...) Got on pretty well at first I think. I had one girl message me and ask me "Why's your confidence so low, you seem really awesome!" As one of my questions I rated my self confidence "below average." She wasn't fat, but not crazily attractive either, but didn't seem like a bad girl, deleted her profile though. Oh, did actually get one real life date with one girl, though she'd actually seen me in real life at a place I frequent and asked me out because of that. And I got a few "hi" from other girls as well. So my experience with American girls and online dating, at the very least wasn't THAT bad. Quite a bit more no reply/ignore than not. But still, not quite as bad as I thought at least.

[Johnny1975]

I want to read this. I really do. But could you break it up some more.

[onethousandknives]

So, for the bad now.

Let's see. Both girls who said they were virgins ended up deleting their profiles. One talked pretty readily and quite often with me, then stopped talking for 3 weeks or so, then deleted her profile after I didn't respond in like 2 hours. This is the Pakistani girl. The other, she probably thought I was too "clingy" or demanding or whatever, for the simple request that she reply back in 3-4 days. She told me "I'm very busy and may take up to a week to reply." And her last reply to me, she took 10 days, and after that I responded "I'd appreciate if you could respond in 3-4." Which I think is 100% reasonable. And then soon later, profile deletion. She seemed weirdly career obsessed, which is weird considering she worked at Subway. Her busy job at Subway prevented her from replying to me, she said. OK.... On her profile questions, she said she'd rather have her "dream job" than a "soul mate." Well OK then. As far as the most shitty experience, a literal fat feminist contacted me. Looking back I probably should have just not replied and pressed the block button after viewing her profile. But I decided to at least show common courtesy by having a conversation (note, do not do this.) She ended up getting extremely mad at me for making the horrendously sexist comment of "most girls don't like giant robot anime" even though she herself didn't like it. I ended up blocking her saying "You've personally insulted and attacked me many times in this conversation. Look at this and see how many times I've personally insulted or attacked you in any manner in this conversation. None. I do not wish to speak to you anymore and do not agree with your ideology of feminism." I didn't think I'd actually encounter real life feminists, but they do exist and are just as terrible as the internet articles make them out to be. And numerous girls in my extremely liberal state (hint, it's near S. Parc and Tsar and starts with a C....) have feminist stuff in their profiles on the website.

I think the main difference between foreign and US women is simple, they want a man. I got the impression with US dating profiles, especially with those older (supposed) virgin girls, they were just like "eh, whatever..." when it came to getting a man. "Hmm, it might be nice to meet my life partner or soul mate. But there's TV shows to be watched and some video games to play! Oh, and my job! I can't spend like 5 minutes replying back on OKCupid, that's too hard!" The foreign girls almost ALWAYS apologize or explain why if they didn't respond in a few hours or that day. Whereas US girls almost NEVER did. I was talking to my dad's girlfriend's son, who's Puerto Rican. He told me how he was dating a white girl and how it was frustrating, said "I work like 60 hours a week and still find time to text her and ask her how she's doing, and she works like 20 and won't talk to me for 3-4 days at a time..." and I started imitating and saying "I need my space! STOP! You're being so controlling and possessive!" He was like "dude wtf, are you her?! Hold on, let me dig up some text messages, I swear she said exactly that!" So in this realm, do US women only need men or want men like fish need or want bicycles now? This might be maybe though, the number one difference. There's so little urgency or want. A romantic partner is less important than their job, or even their TV shows. Meanwhile the Vietnamese girl was seriously sad and stayed up til 4AM (her time, not mine) talking with me about how she was afraid of "being left on the shelf" and getting too old to be married... at 23.

[onethousandknives]

I'd like to end it on this. I went into this with trying to have the most positive attitude, positive thinking, whatever, about American women, and seriously give them a try. But, it didn't work really. Thanks to even just having girls to chat with from overseas like this, my confidence and happiness has soared a lot. With this, I did find the premise of foreign girls being better was mostly correct. Obviously nobody you meet is perfect but better and worse does exist. I think the most apt comparison is jobs. I worked a few jobs. All were weird dysfunctional high turnover places where the boss would send you out to buy bottles of liquor for him. Then I did an internship at a labor union, and they treated me and all the employees quite well, maybe a bit too well (lots of work inefficiency, let's say that.) Then I worked at another place and was treated like shit again. I might have stayed at that place being treated like shit if I didn't have the experience with the good place, but I had a baseline of how a job that doesn't treat you like shit feels, so I left. And I feel this is what happened with foreign women. The "baseline" changes, and thus your expectations do as well, as you realize your own worth as a person and that better people out there do exist.

So with everyone on here, at least the younger guys. Even if you do absolutely zero to actually get you abroad (I certainly didn't make enough money this year...) just please, get on a dating site that allows profiles all over the world, a social network popular in whatever country you wanna go to, etc. And just talk to some girls. At least for me, none asked me for money, and all were actually OK with employment situation (own business not making much money currently) and still living at home, having Aspergers, etc. I told them all this straight out and they still like me and talk to me. With looks, yes, it still matters. So I'm not really suggesting you'll be able to bat out of your league attraction-wise, and for the older dudes as well, not guaranteeing you'll get some 20 year old, but if you're a young dude who looks reasonably OK, give it a shot and just see! You'll be quite glad you did, and it may lead you to something more serious and permanent down the line.

So, long rant, I guess this is all.

[onethousandknives]

I want to read this. I really do. But could you break it up some more.

Better?

[onethousandknives]

Double blind...

I had a double blind test of sorts for confirmation. A girl messaged me, white, skinny, red hair, no profile information, just three pictures. Location, about an hour from me. She messaged me because I liked anime and she said I seemed really cool (ooh boy, PAG style bragging...) We got to talking a bit. She seemed quite nice and friendly. I'm thinking "wtf, why is she so friendly and nice and easy to talk to..." I asked her about a few things. She didn't know of one popular TV thing from a few years ago here, which was a bit weird to me, but whatever. Then I asked her about a fruit I liked, and she said "Oh, when I go home for Christmas, I eat those all the time!" I've never seen this fruit in the winter here, and asked how/where she got them. She said "Oh, I'm from Zimbabwe." She's here for college but she was white and from a former Rhodesian family. She said she very much hates the political correctness here, and said even in Zimbabwe she could speak more freely about race, etc, and said "being in an all girl school makes me want to be an anti-feminist."

So, this is quite some confirmation. I had a girl I thought was American, but then wasn't, so now there's no longer an excuse of "oh, it's just in your head..." and then having someone say "yeah, it's only because you feel more comfortable with a foreign girl because of your negative beliefs..." or whatever. That's almost blown out of the water now. And to have this girl herself tell me basically, all these girls here are crazy, the PC stuff and feminism is crazy, too, it's mindblowing. And I didn't even seek this girl out, she messaged me first.

Again, can't guarantee the future and forever and all that, and not everything is 100% trouble free, but for me it's great. As with these girls, the interactions feel normal and natural. I don't have to try to be something. I don't have to walk on egg shells. I don't have to get horribly bitched at over the smallest offense in a conversation.

Most people don't get a "double blind" test like this like thrown at them, but wow. It seems now beyond a shadow of a doubt the HA philosophy is true, even if the messenger(s) are flawed.

[Adama]

Get yourself saved and these things will be illuminated for you. Jesus promised that anyone who follows him will have the light of life. You'll know the truth, and the truth will make you free.

[onethousandknives]

Get yourself saved and these things will be illuminated for you. Jesus promised that anyone who follows him will have the light of life. You'll know the truth, and the truth will make you free.

I am saved, I'm not Protestant.

[jamesbond]

Get yourself saved and these things will be illuminated for you. Jesus promised that anyone who follows him will have the light of life. You'll know the truth, and the truth will make you free.

I am saved, I'm not Protestant.

I agree with you onethousandknives, protestants like Adama think in order to be saved you must not be a catholic or any other denomination other than protestant.

It just goes to show you how arrogant and judgmental some so called 'Christians' are.

[Adama]

Get yourself saved and these things will be illuminated for you. Jesus promised that anyone who follows him will have the light of life. You'll know the truth, and the truth will make you free.

I am saved, I'm not Protestant.

Good. If you are saved, then God will reveal the answers to you if you ask Him.

[Adama]

I agree with you onethousandknives, protestants like Adama think in order to be saved you must not be a catholic or any other denomination other than protestant.

It just goes to show you how arrogant and judgmental some so called 'Christians' are.

No, it just indicates that you're not a Christian. You're Catholic. Not even nearly the same thing.

[MarcosZeitola]

Good. If you are saved, then God will reveal the answers to you if you ask Him.

What answers did He give you? I am curious.

No, it just indicates that you're not a Christian. You're Catholic. Not even nearly the same thing.

Two sides of one coin, like Sunni and Shia muslims are both Muslims, Catholics, Protestants, Reformed, Evangelical, Born Again, it's all different interpretations of the same basic faith: there is a God in Heaven, whose son is Jesus Christ, who died for our sins and wants us to live good lives, obey the ten commandments and not worship other Gods. Catholics and Protestants both believe these things, therefore both are Christians.

[Adama]

Good. If you are saved, then God will reveal the answers to you if you ask Him.

What answers did He give you? I am curious.

No, it just indicates that you're not a Christian. You're Catholic. Not even nearly the same thing.

Two sides of one coin, like Sunni and Shia muslims are both Muslims, Catholics, Protestants, Reformed, Evangelical, Born Again, it's all different interpretations of the same basic faith: there is a God in Heaven, whose son is Jesus Christ, who died for our sins and wants us to live good lives, obey the ten commandments and not worship other Gods. Catholics and Protestants both believe these things, therefore both are Christians.

Actually I wouldnt have said anything about the Catholics, had JamesBond not said anything about it. I don't care to explain the difference again. Respectfully, if people have been reading my posts and don't get it by now, then they never will. It isnt about continually throwing pearls before swine so they can continually turn to rend me. Also many of the things I have learned about women I have also posted here, but as for the OP individually, he needs to find out what is going on with things for himself and how God is working in his life, not for me or for men in general. I can not help him with that.

I'm not even going to argue about it, because I am not here to change anyone's mind. You've each already made up your minds. I merely stated my opinions. Believe what you want.

[Gadfly]

Two sides of one coin, like Sunni and Shia muslims are both Muslims, Catholics, Protestants, Reformed, Evangelical, Born Again, it's all different interpretations of the same basic faith: there is a God in Heaven, whose son is Jesus Christ, who died for our sins and wants us to live good lives, obey the ten commandments and not worship other Gods. Catholics and Protestants both believe these things, therefore both are Christians.

I'm curious: are you a Christian yourself? And do you know the difference between Catholics and Protestants?

[jamesbond]

No, it just indicates that you're not a Christian. You're Catholic. Not even nearly the same thing.

Your not very Christ like being very judgmental all the time. Judge not least ye be judged. Think about that for a minute Adama.