Celtic_Queen wrote: ↑February 7th, 2016, 9:20 pm
Hello Gentlemen,
I am sorry to post here, I hope I am not an unwelcome intrusion and should the concensus be for me to leave, I will. Saying that, I will be using the ladies board. I have been reading Winston's articles for some time now and I fully agree with what he says, as a woman born and living in Europe, if you want to ever truly be happy it is
imperative that you leave the US, just having a foreign woman to love will not be enough. You will both be passionate souls trapped in a soulless, superficial place.
The story is explained in the title really but I wish to explain a bit further:
I am 23 (almost 24) and my Fiance is 38, there is a 15 year difference between us and we have been together now for 6 years and 4 months. When I first met him I liked and fancied him instantly although we were just friends at first (he did not think I would be interested in him, he says not a lot of women ever were), when I started developing deeper feelings for him over the three months we were just friends it didn't even occur to me (who was a few months shy of 18 at the time, he was 32) to not ask him to be my boyfriend because of his age, I wanted to be with him and I hoped he liked me in that way too. When he said yes I was absolutely thrilled and we have been together, happily, ever since. At the time he did not have many material things, he was locked in a tenancy in a shared house and was going through a period of unemployment. I honestly did not care, it was his heart I cared about and I thought he was the most handsome, sexiest man I had ever seen.
We are now happily engaged to be married and have been for a little while now but the time is coming where full planning will soon be underway, so I naively and excitedly joined a few wedding forums for brides to talk about wedding planning, ideas and dilemmas. The first post I made on a UK based one was asking if there were any other larger age gap brides on the forum and I got to speak with lots of nice women, if not having age gaps themselves saying "age is just a number, it is happiness that counts" that was the consensus. There was not ONE negative reply there.
Then, I join an American based one. The difference between what UK and US women were posting were staggering, to name some of the things I saw on the US based one, posts asking for pictures of everyone's designer rings, everyone seems to have designer dresses (my dress,my veil, my tiara and my jacket cost $798), the whole budget for my wedding and $2,000 more spent on decor and it seems so much more competitive and keeping up with the Jones'. I did not like how they seems to be eager to spend more than the down payment for a house on just one day when it is the marriage that matters but I thought I would say hello and posted again looking for Brides with an age gap, I written almost exactly the same I did on the UK one, how long my Fiance and I have been together, how old we are and how many years apart we are.
The difference in response surprised and upset me, comments rolled in about how my man is a perv, a creep and that there must be something wrong with him. One poster even said "There is something wrong with a man in his 30's who is emotionally, psychologically and sexually interested in a teenager". They also questioned my maturity and they are still posting now about how "The brain isn't fully developed until 25".
It upset me, not because I care what they think but because I hate to think of people saying those nasty things about the man I love, but I ignored those comments and tried to just talk to the women who were saying they were in age gap relationships too. But no, as my conversation with other went on, they kept saying nasty things and it took everything for me to not give them abuse in my replies, it was and still is like they are watching, waiting for any way that they can prove something is wrong with him or that I am a child. They will just not drop it, my mother told me to tell them to get lost (in more colourful language) but I can't in case the mods ban me, I suspect if I so much as said one thing against them I think I would be banned. There are some nice women, one in a gap double mine so I will stay on the site, but I remember names.
I just cannot comprehend why they would just not drop it, the single comment and maybe a response to me, sure, but they just keep posting and I don't why they seem to be like wolves hiding away just waiting for something to cling to to prove that they are right, even though the post was now 2 days ago.
I suspect they would say nothing if it was the other way around.
The only reason I could think of is that they assumed that my being with him impeded me and my life goals in someway, which I find odd because it is not like he has had me in wife training, forcing me to cook and clean (I love to cook for him and I like to have a clean house, in fact, I am very houseproud) and have sex with him, in fact, my being with him has given me the love and support needed to achieve the things I want to, like go to University and live in a home with him. We have also travelled across Europe, have pets and spend our time doing nice things together, like walking around our local forests and mountains or snuggled together reading. We are not the richest people in the world but I genuinely feel rich because of the love we share and the experiences we have had together. I am a big believer in that an expensive TV will not help you in your darkest hours, only good memories and love can. When I told them this though they still kept going, the first comment after my post is "Whatevs, he is still a creep for being interested in you" - so that couldn't be it.
I was wondering if you gentlemen had any ideas about this? I have never been able to connect with American women when I have met them in real life or on the internet, even again, earlier today I was attacked seperately in a Facebook group for saying that Christian belief should be respected, by American women. If it was not for the few nice American and other nationality women I meet I would leave these boards and groups.
Thank you for any comment you can offer,
I hope you are all well wherever you are,
Aelwena