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They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Discuss what's wrong with American women. Share problems, experiences and stories about them and why they suck so bad that you've had to resort to dating abroad and foreign women.

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Mercury
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They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by Mercury » August 13th, 2018, 4:37 am

As if the dating scene in America weren't bad enough, people even in America still say that it's the man's job to ask a woman out. To me that is the same as saying that, not only has the man better have a luxury sports car (McLaren, Ferrari, etc) and a huge, sprawling luxury McMansion in a gated community, but he also better be ready to die immediately on the spot. Like, he better be ready to get publicly beheaded immediately for the very act of asking a woman if she'd like to go out for dinner one night. And believe me, I have been told so many countless times that it's the man's job to make the first move that I'm ready to make like a group of street preachers with posters and bullhorns and broadcast that it is a capital felony under Federal law in the United States for men to approach, court, and pursue women, and that any man who even asks a woman out for dinner is guilty right there of a capital felony which is heavily, aggressively, and thoroughly investigated by the FBI, the United States Department of Homeland Security, the United States Marshals, the United States Supreme Court; yes, even the military, and carries a statutory minimum sentence (for the man) of 525 years to life in Federal prison and/or the death penalty.

flowerthief00
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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by flowerthief00 » August 13th, 2018, 5:10 am

The pretense of equality at the same time as of inequality is bullshit. Pick one or the other. I don't care which.

If men and women are equals then fine. They should both at times be approaching, they should both at times be doing the asking out, they should both at times be making the next move, they should both be paying for dinners, they should both at times be leading the other, they should both at times be dealing with rejection.

If men and women are NOT equals, also fine. Men are willing to accept the greater burden in the game of courtship, but we want to be appreciated for it. Which means, among many other things, not put up on the scaffold for displaying a reasonable amount of aggressiveness in courting a woman.

Which is it, ladies? Choose one and only one.

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growup
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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by growup » August 13th, 2018, 2:35 pm

flowerthief00 wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 5:10 am
The pretense of equality at the same time as of inequality is bullshit. Pick one or the other. I don't care which.

If men and women are equals then fine. They should both at times be approaching, they should both at times be doing the asking out, they should both at times be making the next move, they should both be paying for dinners, they should both at times be leading the other, they should both at times be dealing with rejection.

If men and women are NOT equals, also fine. Men are willing to accept the greater burden in the game of courtship, but we want to be appreciated for it. Which means, among many other things, not put up on the scaffold for displaying a reasonable amount of aggressiveness in courting a woman.

Which is it, ladies? Choose one and only one.
I agree with you.
Women are just as capable of asking a man out. They are also just as capable of paying for a dinner, etc.
I've been both the breadwinner and the stay at home Mom during my marriage.
I understand that Mercury is tired of rejection and he is waiting for the right lady to come along, but he needs to be more realistic.
Not all of us are gold diggers who want a souped up car and a McMansion.

Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » August 13th, 2018, 3:41 pm

There is a reason I don't consider women's advice nor take them seriously when discussing men's concerns.
growup wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 2:35 pm
Women are just as capable of asking a man out. They are also just as capable of paying for a dinner, etc.
Well no sh.t. It is not a question of "capability." It is a question of WILLINGNESS to pay. Most women would be greatly miffed if men expected them to pay for dinner, dates, etc, especially in the initial stages.

Women like you know that and are simply pandering by stating that women are capable of paying.
growup wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 2:35 pm
I've been both the breadwinner and the stay at home Mom during my marriage.
And if you remained the breadwinner in your marriage would you have been ok with that? Despite what you and other women say, NO, you would not.
growup wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 2:35 pm
......He is waiting for the right lady to come along, but he needs to be more realistic.
Never, ever, EVER take romantic advice from a female. The very statement that a man "waits" for a lady to come along is damaging, almost as much as the myth that there is only one true person you are meant to be with. Women put these ideas in boys' heads and perpetuate it throughout the males adulthood. Masculine men don't wait for anyone to come along, we go out and GET the women we want and we are not afraid to dump them for more appropriate women if they prove to be poor matches for us.
growup wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 2:35 pm
Not all of us are gold diggers who want a souped up car and a McMansion.
Yes, we know, but we also know that women, especially those above 29, tend to size up men based on their resources which can include wealth, businesses, networks, opportunities, etc. Most women will lie to themselves and others about this but it is very true.

Mercury
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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by Mercury » August 13th, 2018, 5:49 pm

Men get in trouble with the police all the time for approaching women, even for the first time ever. They get arrested and locked up exactly for the very act of approaching a woman and striking up a conversation with her (especially if the conversation is not strictly business related) Even I have gotten in trouble for doing exactly that. Guys also get arrested for the exact act of asking a woman if she'd like to go out for dinner. That in itself tells me that it is a capital felony under Federal law in the United States of America for a man to approach, court, and pursue a woman at all with a mandatory sentence of five hundred twenty five (525) years to life in Federal prison and/or the death penalty. Enforced aggressively by the FBI, the United States Department of Homeland Security, the United States Marshals, the entire military, and the United States Supreme Court. In other words, guys, FLEE and FLEE HARD from all women in America or you will go to prison and/or face the death penalty. And American women are heavily entertained every time they see another man get the handcuffs slapped on, get thrown into the back of a police car, and hauled off to prison with the entire incident broadcast on the evening news.

Mercury
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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by Mercury » August 13th, 2018, 5:56 pm

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 3:41 pm
Never, ever, EVER take romantic advice from a female. The very statement that a man "waits" for a lady to come along is damaging, almost as much as the myth that there is only one true person you are meant to be with. Women put these ideas in boys' heads and perpetuate it throughout the males adulthood. Masculine men don't wait for anyone to come along, we go out and GET the women we want and we are not afraid to dump them for more appropriate women if they prove to be poor matches for us.
In America, only men who are not afraid to get blasted and taken down by an M-16 rifle or RPG attack, toasted in the electric chair, guillotined in public, or face even 175,000,000,000,000,000 consecutive life sentences in the United States Penitentiary Administrative Maximum Facility (ADX Florence) in Fremont County, Colorado, would dare to go out and "get the women" as Contrarian Expatriate says.

Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » August 13th, 2018, 9:44 pm

Mercury wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 5:56 pm
Contrarian Expatriate wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 3:41 pm
Never, ever, EVER take romantic advice from a female. The very statement that a man "waits" for a lady to come along is damaging, almost as much as the myth that there is only one true person you are meant to be with. Women put these ideas in boys' heads and perpetuate it throughout the males adulthood. Masculine men don't wait for anyone to come along, we go out and GET the women we want and we are not afraid to dump them for more appropriate women if they prove to be poor matches for us.
In America, only men who are not afraid to get blasted and taken down by an M-16 rifle or RPG attack, toasted in the electric chair, guillotined in public, or face even 175,000,000,000,000,000 consecutive life sentences in the United States Penitentiary Administrative Maximum Facility (ADX Florence) in Fremont County, Colorado, would dare to go out and "get the women" as Contrarian Expatriate says.
That might be the case if one is an absolute MORON. Men who know how to and actually like initiating conversations with women in whom they are interested have no irrational fear of such consequences. Incels, social misfits, and halfwits should not even try, especially with your mindset. But the point I was making is that men shouldn't just sit around waiting for the right one to come by. That is a female strategy. An active effort to go after who you want is a masculine (not just male) strategy.

But if you are frightened at that prospect, don't even try. Leave the pursuit of women to the rest of us.

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growup
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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by growup » August 14th, 2018, 12:25 am

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 3:41 pm
There is a reason I don't consider women's advice nor take them seriously when discussing men's concerns.
growup wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 2:35 pm
Women are just as capable of asking a man out. They are also just as capable of paying for a dinner, etc.
Well no sh.t. It is not a question of "capability." It is a question of WILLINGNESS to pay. Most women would be greatly miffed if men expected them to pay for dinner, dates, etc, especially in the initial stages.

Women like you know that and are simply pandering by stating that women are capable of paying.

Actually, dear, I pay a great deal of the time. More than half.
growup wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 2:35 pm
I've been both the breadwinner and the stay at home Mom during my marriage.
And if you remained the breadwinner in your marriage would you have been ok with that? Despite what you and other women say, NO, you would not.

Technically, I am STILL the breadwinner as I make more money, and I always have.
growup wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 2:35 pm
......He is waiting for the right lady to come along, but he needs to be more realistic.
Never, ever, EVER take romantic advice from a female. The very statement that a man "waits" for a lady to come along is damaging, almost as much as the myth that there is only one true person you are meant to be with. Women put these ideas in boys' heads and perpetuate it throughout the males adulthood. Masculine men don't wait for anyone to come along, we go out and GET the women we want and we are not afraid to dump them for more appropriate women if they prove to be poor matches for us.
growup wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 2:35 pm
Not all of us are gold diggers who want a souped up car and a McMansion.
Yes, we know, but we also know that women, especially those above 29, tend to size up men based on their resources which can include wealth, businesses, networks, opportunities, etc. Most women will lie to themselves and others about this but it is very true.

MrMan
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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by MrMan » August 14th, 2018, 4:52 am

I think women generally consider men showing initiative and being a bit assertive as an attractive quality, assuming the man in question is someone who is potentially attractive for looks and how he handles himself. An obese 55-year-old man with moles and warts all over his face who expresses romantic interest in a 20-year-old girl might not be appreciated. But the assertiveness of the 25-year-old man with model good looks might be. But there are a lot of men in the middle in some kind of zone where, if there looks aren't in the 80th or 90th percentile, if they have they are assertive with a charming personality, women might become interested.

I saw a documentary on dating. It pointed out that women basically make the first move in a subtle way with body language. The way they stand, angle their necks, touch their hair, etc. is a signal to men of their interest. The man then 'makes the first move' after she gives these cues. Most men do not pick up on the cues consciously unless they have studied these things intentionally, but it is possible that certain men perceive these things on a subconscious level and respond.

I would say that men initiating conversation might have some roots in biology, and it may. But I also realize that from an anthropological perspective, there are and have been throughout history that do not have 'dating.' Even American and British culture did not have our modern form of it a 120 years ago or so. If we go way back, father's gave their daughters away in marriage. Maybe girls in the village showing a bit of body language attracted the young men to propose or ask their father's to arrange a marriage, or however they did things back then.

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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by MrMan » August 14th, 2018, 4:55 am

Mercury wrote:
August 13th, 2018, 4:37 am
As if the dating scene in America weren't bad enough, people even in America still say that it's the man's job to ask a woman out. To me that is the same as saying that, not only has the man better have a luxury sports car (McLaren, Ferrari, etc) and a huge, sprawling luxury McMansion in a gated community, but he also better be ready to die immediately on the spot. Like, he better be ready to get publicly beheaded immediately for the very act of asking a woman if she'd like to go out for dinner one night. And believe me, I have been told so many countless times that it's the man's job to make the first move that I'm ready to make like a group of street preachers with posters and bullhorns and broadcast that it is a capital felony under Federal law in the United States for men to approach, court, and pursue women, and that any man who even asks a woman out for dinner is guilty right there of a capital felony which is heavily, aggressively, and thoroughly investigated by the FBI, the United States Department of Homeland Security, the United States Marshals, the United States Supreme Court; yes, even the military, and carries a statutory minimum sentence (for the man) of 525 years to life in Federal prison and/or the death penalty.
How many times have you been arrested for asking a girl out? How many men do you know personally who have been arrested for this? How many have received capital punishment for it?

I don't remember who is where, or know if such information is in the profiles, but are in in some city on the west coast where men greatly outnumber women, and there are many men competing with you who have huge salaries?

Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » August 14th, 2018, 7:30 am

MrMan wrote:
August 14th, 2018, 4:52 am
I think women generally consider men showing initiative and being a bit assertive as an attractive quality, assuming the man in question is someone who is potentially attractive for looks and how he handles himself.
Yes, completely.
MrMan wrote:
August 14th, 2018, 4:52 am
I saw a documentary on dating. It pointed out that women basically make the first move in a subtle way with body language. The way they stand, angle their necks, touch their hair, etc. is a signal to men of their interest. The man then 'makes the first move' after she gives these cues. Most men do not pick up on the cues consciously unless they have studied these things intentionally, but it is possible that certain men perceive these things on a subconscious level and respond.
Desmond Morris is famous for advancing that theory in his The Human Animal series. He is basically calling attention to indicators of interest.
However, I have never found that strategy of looking for indicators of interest to be of much use personally. It only rarely would involve women I would be interested in, and it often was employed by attention whores, manipulators, and prostitutes. The exceptions would be, decent women who simply plant themselves close by in my field of vision, of create "incidental" physical contact which is not incidental at all. I take these as pretty reliable invitations to initiate conversation.

The strategy that always worked for me is identifying the attractive women, then approaching. Sometimes you get shot down but more often you get indulged and begin some sort of relationship. That way, you are guaranteed to be with a woman you want to be with, and not just settling for someone who showed you interest.

It is nothing but a numbers game in this regard and the more you do it, the better you get and you become virtually immune to rejection. I have also had women who rejected me, warm up later on when they see me talking to other women. The rejecting women tend to feel a sense of, "He must be really something if he is talking to HER. I had his interest before, I have to try to get it back." So men can use female "rejection regret" to their advantage! Female competition for attention is primal and, at times, fickle.

Too bad many young men are missing out on these strategies because no one is teaching them. No one taught me either, although a stranger once told me in a club, "Your job is to speak with every woman in this club you find attractive till you get a hit. If you do that and don't get a hit, go to another club and try again." That was a wise young man who told me that some decades years ago.

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Zambales
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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by Zambales » August 14th, 2018, 9:46 am

How many of you guys have been asked out by a woman? If you have, how did you feel?

It's happened to me on the odd occasion but because they were the brash/confident/full of themselves type of women I didn't find it particularly endearing. Fine if you like this kind of personality in a chick but what are the chances of you being asked out by the quieter, retiring type of female? At a guess, extremely slim!

It's in his own interests therefore to do the donkey work whether a woman thinks so or not. Rejection issues can be a massive barrier but once you learn to expect rejection, things become far easier.

However, wouldn't it be nice to be a fly on the wall to witness a woman who's never experienced such a situation abstaining from her comfort zone and seeing how she copes with the rejection and the games that go with the territory?

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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » August 14th, 2018, 1:53 pm

Zambales wrote:
August 14th, 2018, 9:46 am
How many of you guys have been asked out by a woman? If you have, how did you feel?
I have found it off putting because it has never been a girl/woman whom I would have ever asked out.
However, wouldn't it be nice to be a fly on the wall to witness a woman who's never experienced such a situation abstaining from her comfort zone and seeing how she copes with the rejection and the games that go with the territory?
Because there is a very narrow pool of what I find attractive, I rebuff women quite a bit (85% of them occur in American strip clubs or mainstream clubs in Europe), and they rarely take it well. The better looking the woman is, the more gracious she takes it. The uglier the woman is, the worse she takes it. That, I found ironic.

My theory as to why is that in America, even "Chads and Tyrones" indulge unattractive women who approach them since females are, of course, the master race today. Consequently, they are not accustomed to rejection.

And in the case of black American women, please don't get me started..... :roll:

anabolic
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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by anabolic » August 17th, 2018, 2:53 am

the truth of the matter, when I have discussed this with women is they do not even know how men do it, they describe approaching as the most brutal thing to withstand, at the end of the day, they're women, for 99% of human history they could be raped at killed at any moment , its not hard to see why they are like that

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Re: They still say it's the man's job to ask a woman out, even in America.

Post by Mercury » August 18th, 2018, 9:34 pm

In America, only a man who is brave enough to face Pelican Bay State Prison and/or the electric chair for exactly the act of approaching a woman and asking her if she'd like to go to the movies or out to dinner would dare to make a first move and ask a woman out.

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