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Discussion for marriage-minded members seeking foreign brides for marriage and serious long-term relationships.
11 posts • Page 1 of 1
After I met the woman I would marry, I called her on the phone. We'd probably talked for 15 to 30 minutes when she expressed concern about me spending so much money on the phone. Telkom in Indonesia charged for local calls in three-minute increments. I told her not to worry about it and persuaded her.
While we were dating, I did take her out to eat, but she'd keep her eyes open for bargain places to eat. I remember once place we ate at the nearest decent mall, a buffet with Italian food including pizza for a couple of bucks. That was back when the currency was devalued and stuff was cheap. Another Chinese place had a deal, four items, for about the same price as the Italian place. They had hot and sour soup on the menu, the first time I'd had it in Jakarta. After we got married, my wife made hot and sour soup for me.
My wife stuck with me through grad school when we were very poor. We had a business and sometimes she worked harder than I did at it as I studied.
My wife cooked a little when we first got married and was always learning new recipes. We ate at this ladies house who was a fantastic cook and my wife resolved to learn to cook that well. She sure has. This has saved us a lot of money. If we eat out somewhere and we really, really like some food, she'll often learn to cook it. She's learned to cook bulgogi, to make kimchi, korean spinach and bean sprouts. She's done chicken ginseng stew for me a few times, but I like other dishes better.
My wife has learned to make Thai curries, the pickles for Vietnamese sandwiches, phoa noodles, papaya salad, various Chinese dishes, and of course, many kinds of Indonesian food. (I've eaten dinner, and I'm getting hungry.) She's also learned how to make 'kebabs', they call them, actually the wraps. She just bought the meat for them, though, which is easier. I like it and so do the kids.
Sometimes when we have wanted to eat out, we have had difficulty deciding because we'll say she already knows how to cook that. It also spoils us a bit if the food isn't that good. My wife can cook a lot of foods better at home.
This also saves money. Part of the cooking is motivated by frugality. It was when I was in grad school at least. During that time, she also waited to buy clothes and shopped at used clothing stores. We have bought used cars when we had them, and she is fine with that.
It is good to be married to a woman who is not materialistic. I could see clues to her frugality when we were dating, and her concern over me spending money on her. At first, she was concerned with the cost of phone calls. I let her know I could afford it. She was concerned with the cost of meals when we were dating. And she showed concern for not wasting money throughout our relationship.
Here is a clip from 90-day fiance where a Russian girl on a fiance visa tells her heft American boyfriend that she is only dating him because he provides her material things.
By the way, she wants to be a high fashion model, too. She didn't commit to stay with him if he were injured and couldn't provide for her if they were married. Yet he stays with her. She treats their arrangement like she gets material good paid for with his money and in exchange he gets her and her looks. I hope for his sake she was playing a role because the camera was on her. But it illustrates that women in other countries can be materialistic if that is really how she is.
If a couple is actually wanting to get married, it is foolish for a woman to try to drain a man's money to have him spend it on expensive gifts unless he's really rich. She's draining money they can spend on something useful for themselves and their children.
If a woman wants you to spend a lot on her while you are dating on expensive gifts that have little functional value (e.g. jewelry), she may not be thinking of you as a potential mate for marriage. Or she may consider you as a potential husband, but she is just foolish and enjoys expensive things without realizing that money has practical value as well.
"Reality TV" shows are anything but. In my experience, nearly every documentary, news story, reality tv show about international dating is presented with the message determined ahead of time and footage edited to support that storyline. Not to mention, with reality tv, people on the show are often more interested in launching their career by acting ridiculous and being memorable than they are in portraying the reality of their relationship. Of course the producers love it because it's higher ratings. I watched that Anfisa and George couple on the show and it was obvious to me that they were acting out for TV. This relationship, and especially how it is portrayed on TV, is a joke, not at all representative of an international relationship, yet it contributes to the perception that this is the norm. Also, it appears (google jorge and anfisa and look for the heavy.com link but don't do it at work !!! ) that how they met is not true at all. From the beginning this relationship was a joke, yet TLC promotes it for ratings. Don't be discouraged, there are beautiful, sincere woman who truly want to find a good man out there, but you wouldn't know it from these shows.
This is one of the biggest cons that women play upon men. When women play this "Don't spend a lot on me" game, they are fooling men into thinking they are not gold diggers so they can exploit the men later when big ticket items are at issue such as car, house, how many children to have, paying for extended family problems, etc.
Fall for this con at your own peril......
Money is mostly irrelevant. If she really wants you, she will end up being the one to pursue you. She will make things fall into place, if she truly wants you.
Beware of insane women though, although now these are so common it's considered normal. I had one woman tell me that she always volunteers to pay for half of the date. When I told her that I agree that women should pay half, she said, "No, you never let a woman pay!" These people are fake and insincere. They have no intention of doing anything except for oppressing the man by stealth and trickery.
See nowadays a man is supposed to KNOW that a woman will volunteer to pay half but that she's just faking it, and he is simply supposed to go along with this pretense and deception that the woman would pay but overrule her and pay for everything himself. That is how insane it is to interact with many of these female dogs. Beware.
This same woman, who had expressed interest in me to everyone we knew in common, when it came down to us actually getting together, she told me things such as, "Sorry but I live a very full and happy life and don't have time." Always trying to pretend as they have some super high value, trying to make themselves scarce, refusing to cooperate, refusing to proceed honestly, refusing to even meet the man half way. All for their egos.
These people are just psychological criminals walking around pretending to be normal, but expecting you to honor them as gods.
All you got to do is walk away when those red flags start popping up. If anything starts pinging your conscience, it's probably time to move on from them. Don't even touch a woman until you've figured out whether she is sane or insane.
The problem in the states is that men have been brainwashed to worship women, while women have been brainwashed to believe they are gods and to hate men. Also there is a true scarcity of women period, then there is the scarcity of sufficiently attractive women, and then there is the scarcity of humble women.
That makes men desperate and willing to put up with all kinds of emotional and psychological abuse.
Any person who is planning evil or mischief in their heart and who actually exercises and attempts to implement those evil plans, is a worker of iniquity; a servant of corruption, and a child of Satan. You can also see that such people do want to be worshiped, but they have nothing whatsoever to give back except for shame and hatred, scorn and contempt.
And I would bet that even if a man managed to marry such a woman, it is doubtful that she would fulfill her marital duties in the bedroom. She certainly won't seek to please him, and he will never have satisfaction. It's all about THEM.
Caught out by her own bullshittery in a matter of seconds.
Off you slither into the one night stand category, honey!
Why do western men die before their western wives? Because they want to!
I've occasionally heard or read blasphemous stuff about women being 'goddesses', but I don't hear most people saying that. I think you are exaggerating. Women seeking honor to much is not the same as wanting to be literally honored as if they were gods.
Slither is right, as in snake, or rather, like a fire breathing dragon.
She is not one night stand material though. The fact that she is openly trying to deceive for no reason marks her as a worker of iniquity, a child of Satan. She's trying to elevate herself by oppression, taking advantage of her power as a woman.
What I am saying is, any woman who is so psycho as to put on a pretense while expecting the man to know it is a pretense but also expecting him to go along with it, is a damn fool of the highest magnitude.
So after I learned that she is openly a premeditated liar and deceiver, she goes on to play the keep away game, as if she possessed some precious jewel that I wanted. As if she were too busy for me, too important for me, too elusive for me, too precious for me.
I figured out now that most of these women have no intention of getting together. They just have the intention to prove to themselves how sexy, beautiful and powerful they are, by playing the keep away, time waster, attract and reject (and insult) game with men, to see how many times they can make the man come back for more before he gives up on her totally. Then she'll go and slander his name as unworthy to everyone, as the reason why they never got together. She won't tell everyone that she was just playing a game for her amusement and because she loves deception and spiritual murder.
They want to see how many men they can murder in this way, deep down in their souls, and they spend the whole attractiveness of their youth on this folly that is going to send them straight to hell. Foolishness is her name, and she is the opposite of Ms Wisdom. Folly's guests are in the depths of hell.
Actually, it doesn't matter who pays. Whoever wants to pay can pay.
The point of it is, if someone is going to open their mouths and declare that they want to pay, but they are completely lying under a pretense, then that is just messed up and completely stupid, but that's what many women are doing. But they take it one step further in that they also expect the man to know that them volunteering to pay is a pretense. So the man is supposed to just play along with this pretense.
This is pathological behavior. Instead of just proceeding honestly, because these women are crooked, they must practice deception. They even know and acknowledge they are using deception, but expect that deception to be known, and for the man to go along with it. These are workers of iniquity, the servants of corruption (because they could be honest and do well, but instead they conceive mischief continually). These people are corrupt to the core.
And if for some reason you can't understand that prideful people think and act like they are gods without outright stating it, then it is doubtful you'll understand any part of what I have to write.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.