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"Don't Spend so Much Money on Me"

Discussion for marriage-minded members seeking foreign brides for marriage and serious long-term relationships.

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"Don't Spend so Much Money on Me"

Postby MrMan » Thu Apr 13, 2017 4:51 pm

After I met the woman I would marry, I called her on the phone. We'd probably talked for 15 to 30 minutes when she expressed concern about me spending so much money on the phone. Telkom in Indonesia charged for local calls in three-minute increments. I told her not to worry about it and persuaded her.

While we were dating, I did take her out to eat, but she'd keep her eyes open for bargain places to eat. I remember once place we ate at the nearest decent mall, a buffet with Italian food including pizza for a couple of bucks. That was back when the currency was devalued and stuff was cheap. Another Chinese place had a deal, four items, for about the same price as the Italian place. They had hot and sour soup on the menu, the first time I'd had it in Jakarta. After we got married, my wife made hot and sour soup for me.

My wife stuck with me through grad school when we were very poor. We had a business and sometimes she worked harder than I did at it as I studied.

My wife cooked a little when we first got married and was always learning new recipes. We ate at this ladies house who was a fantastic cook and my wife resolved to learn to cook that well. She sure has. This has saved us a lot of money. If we eat out somewhere and we really, really like some food, she'll often learn to cook it. She's learned to cook bulgogi, to make kimchi, korean spinach and bean sprouts. She's done chicken ginseng stew for me a few times, but I like other dishes better.

My wife has learned to make Thai curries, the pickles for Vietnamese sandwiches, phoa noodles, papaya salad, various Chinese dishes, and of course, many kinds of Indonesian food. (I've eaten dinner, and I'm getting hungry.) She's also learned how to make 'kebabs', they call them, actually the wraps. She just bought the meat for them, though, which is easier. I like it and so do the kids.

Sometimes when we have wanted to eat out, we have had difficulty deciding because we'll say she already knows how to cook that. It also spoils us a bit if the food isn't that good. My wife can cook a lot of foods better at home.

This also saves money. Part of the cooking is motivated by frugality. It was when I was in grad school at least. During that time, she also waited to buy clothes and shopped at used clothing stores. We have bought used cars when we had them, and she is fine with that.

It is good to be married to a woman who is not materialistic. I could see clues to her frugality when we were dating, and her concern over me spending money on her. At first, she was concerned with the cost of phone calls. I let her know I could afford it. She was concerned with the cost of meals when we were dating. And she showed concern for not wasting money throughout our relationship.

Here is a clip from 90-day fiance where a Russian girl on a fiance visa tells her heft American boyfriend that she is only dating him because he provides her material things.

By the way, she wants to be a high fashion model, too. She didn't commit to stay with him if he were injured and couldn't provide for her if they were married. Yet he stays with her. She treats their arrangement like she gets material good paid for with his money and in exchange he gets her and her looks. I hope for his sake she was playing a role because the camera was on her. But it illustrates that women in other countries can be materialistic if that is really how she is.

If a couple is actually wanting to get married, it is foolish for a woman to try to drain a man's money to have him spend it on expensive gifts unless he's really rich. She's draining money they can spend on something useful for themselves and their children.

If a woman wants you to spend a lot on her while you are dating on expensive gifts that have little functional value (e.g. jewelry), she may not be thinking of you as a potential mate for marriage. Or she may consider you as a potential husband, but she is just foolish and enjoys expensive things without realizing that money has practical value as well.
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