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Let's Suppose I Brought a Filipina Wife back to Canada...

Discussion for marriage-minded members seeking foreign brides for marriage and serious long-term relationships.

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ExpeditionSailor
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Let's Suppose I Brought a Filipina Wife back to Canada...

Post by ExpeditionSailor » April 3rd, 2012, 2:22 am

I know it's not the recommended course of action, but let me play devil's advocate for a minute. What I want to know is, if I did such a crazy thing, is there any way of preventing the wife from disappearing once she gets that proverbial 'green card'? And is there any way of predicting whether a prospective wife would do such a thing? I know it may be hard to figure out, since some women are quite capable of playing a long game and the mask doesn't come off until the green card is just on the verge of being granted. I'm also aware of the risk of a foreign wife becoming feminized once she gets used to the culture and soaks up the feminist, anti-male teachings that North American society is saturated with.

As an aside, there's no such thing as a 'green card' in the Canadian immigration system. The holy grail here is something called 'landed immigrant' status - or permanent residency, which is about as good as actually getting citizenship, which follows after being in Canada for five years. The kicker though is that in order for the wife to get her citizenship, you have to sponsor her financially. And under Canadian law, if she takes off on you, you will be billed for the welfare costs if she starts collecting welfare. It doesn't matter that she set up what is effectively an elaborate fraud.

Part of the reason I ask is that I've heard horror stories of men who are abandoned once the wife gets her citizenship papers... and other stories of men whose foreign wives stay with them for the rest of their lives even after they get their papers.

Moving to the Philippines to get married is not an option right now because I have no source of guaranteed income. Some in the HA forums have suggested setting up an online business as a way around the problem. All very well and good, but for every 10 online businesses that get set up, nine fail and one makes it. I've learned the only way to succeed in business is to have a hot product everyone wants to have or must have... it's a lot like how you have to be Superman these days to attract even ugly women in North America. And if you don't have the 'hot product'... you're shit out of luck.

provocateur
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Post by provocateur » April 6th, 2012, 7:25 am

My first post...what an honor to partcipate in this forum!

Anyway, regarding your situation, it seems the common wisdom is to live with your prospective wife in her country for the long haul (at least three years) to evaluate what would happen if you moved back to Canada. During that time, see how she reacts during some "bad times". Financial woes. Relatives dying. Family feuds. And perhaps, best of all random declarations that you never want to go back to Canada, ever. If all is good and she doesn't keep harping about moving and getting married and stays by your side, I'd say you have a winner. You will have a time-tested feel for whether or not you would be a meal ticket or not. A gold digger or passport hunter will eventually start looking elsewhere. Only time will give you the comfort you seek.

It could work out great if you took the chance, but marriage is too risky for men, in my opinion. I realize you are probably looking to make a big decision very soon, but consider it carefully.

emh
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Re: Let's Suppose I Brought a Filipina Wife back to Canada..

Post by emh » April 6th, 2012, 8:01 am

ExpeditionSailor wrote:I know it's not the recommended course of action, but let me play devil's advocate for a minute. What I want to know is, if I did such a crazy thing, is there any way of preventing the wife from disappearing once she gets that proverbial 'green card'? And is there any way of predicting whether a prospective wife would do such a thing? I know it may be hard to figure out, since some women are quite capable of playing a long game and the mask doesn't come off until the green card is just on the verge of being granted. I'm also aware of the risk of a foreign wife becoming feminized once she gets used to the culture and soaks up the feminist, anti-male teachings that North American society is saturated with.

As an aside, there's no such thing as a 'green card' in the Canadian immigration system. The holy grail here is something called 'landed immigrant' status - or permanent residency, which is about as good as actually getting citizenship, which follows after being in Canada for five years. The kicker though is that in order for the wife to get her citizenship, you have to sponsor her financially. And under Canadian law, if she takes off on you, you will be billed for the welfare costs if she starts collecting welfare. It doesn't matter that she set up what is effectively an elaborate fraud.

Part of the reason I ask is that I've heard horror stories of men who are abandoned once the wife gets her citizenship papers... and other stories of men whose foreign wives stay with them for the rest of their lives even after they get their papers.

Moving to the Philippines to get married is not an option right now because I have no source of guaranteed income. Some in the HA forums have suggested setting up an online business as a way around the problem. All very well and good, but for every 10 online businesses that get set up, nine fail and one makes it. I've learned the only way to succeed in business is to have a hot product everyone wants to have or must have... it's a lot like how you have to be Superman these days to attract even ugly women in North America. And if you don't have the 'hot product'... you're shit out of luck.
I can't really comment on your question. But I wanted to respond to the making money online thing. While it's true that there are no guarantees of success, remember that the amount of money you'll need to live in the philippines is a lot less than what you'd need in Canada. So whereas you might need $5-10,000 a month in the US, in the philippines you could probably get by on $1-2,000. So your threshold for success at making money online in the philippines is a lot lower.

ExpeditionSailor
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Post by ExpeditionSailor » April 6th, 2012, 2:39 pm

provocateur wrote:My first post...what an honor to partcipate in this forum!

Anyway, regarding your situation, it seems the common wisdom is to live with your prospective wife in her country for the long haul (at least three years) to evaluate what would happen if you moved back to Canada. During that time, see how she reacts during some "bad times". Financial woes. Relatives dying. Family feuds. And perhaps, best of all random declarations that you never want to go back to Canada, ever. If all is good and she doesn't keep harping about moving and getting married and stays by your side, I'd say you have a winner. You will have a time-tested feel for whether or not you would be a meal ticket or not. A gold digger or passport hunter will eventually start looking elsewhere. Only time will give you the comfort you seek.

It could work out great if you took the chance, but marriage is too risky for men, in my opinion. I realize you are probably looking to make a big decision very soon, but consider it carefully.
Sounds good to me. Don't get me wrong... I'm not unaware of, or blind to the risks involved in bringing a wife back here. However, I'm not in a financial position where I could stay in the Philippines for three years

One small thing in favour of the idea of bringing a wife back to Canada is that the government is about to introduce a new immigration policy where foreign brides are concerned. Basically, the new policy provides for deportation of the spouse if the marriage breaks down within two years of landing. Since most passport hunters vamoose as soon as they land, and are unlikely to ride out two years unless very cunning and dedicated to getting a passport, this new policy should help weed them out and provide some protection for men who end up being defrauded in this fashion.

Personally, I like the way the immigration authorities in the United States handle this situation. In the US, a prospective couple (where the spouse is immigrating) must provide evidence of letters and emails (20 at a minimum), and even webcam sessions to establish that the relationship is bona fide. Although this in itself won't totally eliminate the passport hunters, if it could be adopted as an additional anti-scam measure here in Canada, it might help.

Thanks for the tips, and welcome.

leavingusa
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Post by leavingusa » June 20th, 2012, 7:53 am

What if she says you hit her?

In the US that means they throw you out of your house and she stays while you continue paying for it.

Believe me her disappearing could be the least of your worries.

ladislav
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Post by ladislav » June 20th, 2012, 11:05 am

Most Filipinas, if virgins ( and the majority of them are) and with a degree of some kind, will not leave their husband. It is just something you do not do, the same way as you do not abandon your mother and father. And if you have kids with her, good luck getting rid of her.
Every decision like that involves some risk, but in case of Filipinas, it is not a big risk.
Now, if you marry a single mother or a former bar girl, well then it is trouble.
Just make sure you have a proper church wedding or a wedding with all the family members present and you should be OK.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!

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xiongmao
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Post by xiongmao » June 20th, 2012, 5:40 pm

Get her over on a fiance visa first. If you have doubts, send her back. I always lose my mind in the sub-tropics. That's why I'd like to study my fiance in my own country and really get to know her.

Also remember to get married in a different country to where your financial assets are!
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Blue Murder
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Post by Blue Murder » June 20th, 2012, 6:32 pm

Yup. Play it smart, mate. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT put your FULL trust in any woman. You mentioned about the Westernisation that occurs once she's been in this hemisphere for a while. Probably be better off not really "marrying" her at all -- but that means you'll have to sponsor her forever. On the bright side, she can't get legal residency/citizenship through you as quickly as she could via marriage.

Not trying to stop you from getting it in, just telling you to be smart. You know how things are here.
Self-improvement addict. Always striving for perfection.

pete98146
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Post by pete98146 » June 20th, 2012, 7:02 pm

ladislav wrote:Most Filipinas, if virgins ( and the majority of them are) and with a degree of some kind, will not leave their husband. It is just something you do not do, the same way as you do not abandon your mother and father. And if you have kids with her, good luck getting rid of her.
Every decision like that involves some risk, but in case of Filipinas, it is not a big risk.
Now, if you marry a single mother or a former bar girl, well then it is trouble.
Just make sure you have a proper church wedding or a wedding with all the family members present and you should be OK.
As always, Ladislav knows what he's talking about. I brought my wife over from Phils. We just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. So far it's been pure bliss....no real hiccups to report.

My advice to you is take your time and don't rush into a quick relationship. Get to know her online. Go visit her a few times before making a commitment. Is she a good girl? Does she come from a good family? Will she be an asset or a liability once she finally arrives in Canada? Biggest problem that guys make is to fall for the first charming filipina they meet online. Many of us guys are not used to getting attention from women so when it does happen guys get swept up in the moment and fail to use their brains to properly analyze the relationship. Simply put, don't be one of "those" guys. Get a good girl and chances are she'll stick with you thru thick and thin and will be a great wife.[/u]

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