How did living in the US change your foreign wife?

[wanderlust]

I am trying to get some real-life advice from those of you who have tied the knot. I have read plenty of predictions of what will happen if you bring a foreign wife to the West on HA and the rest of the internet (she will gain lots of weight, become materialistic, cheat, divorce you, lose interest in sex, acquire the worst of the western characteristics).

I am not asking what "will" happen, but what really did happen. I.e. looking for real-life stories, good or bad. Please tell me where your wife/ex-wife is from. There are plenty of horror stories but I think it's still possible to make a good life together, even here.


I would love to live abroad but it is not a workable option currently.

[fschmidt]

My wife is from Mexico and we have been married for 22 years.

By far the most important thing is who your wife's friends are. If her friends are poison, she will be poisoned. Try to live in foreign neighborhood if possible. If she gets bad friends, move. Moving is cheaper than divorce. I had this problem once, in San Antonio, and I moved.

This should be obvious, but keep good honest communications with your wife. Listen to the gossip even if it's boring. This will let you know what your wife's friends are like.

Even though I don't believe in a supernatural god, I am a big fan of religion. Encourage your wife to join a good religion. Examples include Eastern Orthodox Christianity and Orthodox and Karaite Judaism. This will have a good influence and should improve the quality of her friends.

Never promise sexual fidelity to your wife. If you do, she will either take you for granted and get bored of you, or she won't believe you and will hate you for being a liar. Instead, make it clear (without promising) that as long as she satisfies you, you have no reason to look elsewhere.

So far, I think my marriage is a great success and I am very glad that I am married.

[kai1275]

My wife is from China. Been married since June, but life is wonderful. She makes me feel amazing and I still keep trying to pinch myself! She says the same things too. She has no interest in making any Chinese friends here, most of which are my friends anyway, she clings to me very strongly. I also agree with Schimdt about a wife having shitty friends. That hurt me with my exwife, but AW have more issues than poisonous friends anyway.

Life is good though. Really, really f***ing good. She treats me soooo good. And yesterday my car got flooded in a flash flood and I broke a tooth, but I aint even trippin about it!! The old Kai would have punched a few walls by now!

[kai1275]

I could talk about how awesome my wife is all day. I bet most of us could. What other specific questions would you like to ask?

I don't have any bad things to report or share. Only good things. Some things I don't mind is that she asks alot of questions. She is young and very curious, even before being married. Many men would hate that, but I am the same way myself. I think the only bad question is the one you don't ask. That said, sometimes I have to tell her, hold those questions for later or tomorrow. lol

One surprise I mentioned before was that I ended up saving alot more money than when I was single because I no longer had to pay people to do certain things and I have more time to do many things on the side now. I wont let her work in America and so far it is working out very well. She cooks everyday justabout, we make groceries so I don't have to eat out everyday. My health and weight is better. I don't drink alcohol as much anymore. Overall stress is way, way down.

I always have someone to hang out with and go do things when I don't want to be bothered by my fam and friends. She follows me everywhere, which is awesome. AW go to the mall alone and leave the husband to be by himself or go drink beer with other miserable husbands.....

I could go on and on....

[somedude]

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[Cornfed]

For me it turned toxic and now in the process of divorce.

It would be good if you could expand on that a little.

[somedude]

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[zboy1]

I'm a fairly decent looking caucasian guy, 6'3" - 185 pounds (never been any problems in attracting a woman), with a higher than average IQ. Basically I'm a nerd with higher than average looks.

Back in the early 2000's I had grown tired of many aspects of american culture; e.g. women (i had and have no problem finding dates, i just find that most are batsh*t crazy or are gold diggers), taxes, biased legal system, dumbing down of the masses, the seemingly neverending competition in the corporate world just to keep a job let alone advance at a company, etc. ... Thus my search began to emmigrate.

Fast forwarding a bit, I had decided on Egypt as a place that I would work on relocating to based on a number of criteria I had at the time. During the few years I had been traveling there studying the culture that led up to my decision, I met a local woman who later became my wife. She was aware of my goals in wanting to live there, always said she did not care where we lived long as we were together. So I ruled out the notion of her wanting to be with me for a visa... she is well educated and comes from a good family.

We were married there, I had purchased a flat and put it in her name as there are different rules on foreigners owning property. With all of this seemingly going so well on the abroad side, I thought it was time to start wrapping up things on the US side (eg selling the home, getting rid of stuff etc.) as I had been bouncing back and forth between places to keep work and her happy. Then she decides she wants to come to the U.S., literally after I had just sold off some stuff and was quite effectively executing my 30 day wrap up plan... ugh. Major red flag of course.

After some arguing I allowed myself to be talked into going the immigration route for her to come over here... hard learned lesson there on my part, completely ignoring my instincts and the goal I had worked so hard for. Any other time in my life I would have just said f*ck off my original goal was to do this you were aware of my goals and I'm doing it... but I digress.

It took a year for the immigration process to complete for her to even be able to fly here... the timing could not have been worse. When she was able to fly, we ended up coming "home" here in the US right when the recession hit hard. I won't go into much details but it hit me very hard, lost my job and house within a year of this. All this while still having a new flat fully paid for, with brand new furniture overseas that we could have used! LOL ... of course the crap in Egypt started happening around then as well, of course any mention of going back there was met with angry looks from her.

Even though things were a bit tough, I was doing my best at keeping food on the table and a roof over the head, during this she was determined to get naturalized (i had already gotten her perm res. status the foot she landed on US soil). Seemed like an odd thing to focus on at the time. Anyway she eventually left to go back overseas a couple years ago, and wants a divorce. Of course I am the bad guy in all of this LOL

So basically I'm still "here" stuck with digging out from fallout that the recession took on my life, while she is over there with a new flat that she wont set foot in and calling me every name in the book.

I guess in short, importing or exporting does not matter... women from any culture are going to have issues or develop princess syndrome... maybe they are all wired with the seeds to this and american culture just draws it out? I don't know...

Sorry about the divorce, Someone...Your Egyptian wife sounds like she got "Americanized" pretty quickly. How unfortunate...

I'm also attracted to Middle Eastern females, too, but for some strange reason, they tend to become "Westernized" extremely quickly, relative to other immigrant groups; For example, Persian females in the U.S. are notorious for their spoiled behavior and narcissism; most Israeli Jewish chicks turn into "JAPS" very quickly in the West; and females from Saudia Arabia and other Islamic countries become very wild and loose in the United States/Europe--free from their supposed 'oppressive societies.'

Why is that? You would think of all the females in the world to resist Americanization/Westernization, Middle Eastern females would be the best at it...

[somedude]

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[polya]

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[Banano]

US/West allows women to show their true colors.


I have seen females from most conservatives backgrounds (such as India, Middle east) turn into entitled sluts once they get in touch with western culture.

Men are delusional and clueless

[kai1275]

Sounds like she was actually pretty bad before she got to the US actually... ThePrimebait probably would have more insight on that, but Middle Eastern/N/W African women have their own issues that make them bad matches for Western men. Their culture is pretty f***ing shady. My ex-wife is Nigerian and even though she was extremely Americanized, it was bad Nigerian culture issues that ruined things in the end. They try to take advantages of guys like us because we do not understand the "shit" in their culture. We tend not to yank their f***ing chains either, early on. The primebait mentioned something like with middle eastern women/Persian women this a while ago, and that made me really think.

My ex past African boyfriends treated her rougher than I did. Now long after the fact, I see why they did that. Egyptians are very very similar to other north-west Africans in nature. I have a handful of "friends" from Egypt. 2 of them f***ing stabbed me in the back fairly recently, and we have been really f***ing good friends for over 6 years or something! A buddy from Morroco was even worse. He and the Egyptian buddies are all friends too. They actually did me wrong together in a way (very long story). My ex-wife stabbed me in the back and they loved sometimes chatting with her to make me doing things a certain way. They loved to act like they had some "African Mafia"..

One of those same Egyptian buddies abandoned some of his family members (during Egypt's issues) and said some horrible things about them to me. He is also a fake ass Muslim, partying, smoking, and drinking. Probably snorts lines too in private for all I know. God doesn't like ugly though. His mom got killed in a tragic accident not long after he said that. That is why I was not shocked when he did me dirty.

I now see why Africans get the bad rap for being very disloyal. You could not have paid me to date another woman from any part of Africa. That is why I went Asian instead. If they choose you, you will have a hard time getting rid of them. Rarely ever do you hear about an Asian woman snitching or selling out her husband for anything really. You are more likely to see them take control of money and possessions instead of selling out their man to get them.

I value loyalty more than other things in life, so Asian wife was an automatic no brainer for me, if I could get one, because I knew being black was my only big challenge to that goal back then.

[theprimebait]

US/West allows women to show their true colors.


I have seen females from most conservatives backgrounds (such as India, Middle east) turn into entitled sluts once they get in touch with western culture.

Men are delusional and clueless

this is true folks.somewhat.among immigrant populations in europe(Turks and algerians)you have women that still stay religious and virgins etc

but you also have women that turn completely slutty,living double lives so to speak.

women are gonna women.but in morroco and turkey itself you have a sizable population of females fornicating,dating and living secular lifestyles....

but atleast its out in the open.

Im telling you guys,every woman wants to get DPed and have an orgy .

the good girls are the worst.

Im telling you,and ive keep repeating it over and over again:women by NATURE are sluts,the evolutionary evidence is there,only artificial external forces can keep them from acting on it(death penalty,saudi style laws keeping women behind closed doorsetc)and even THEN they will still try hard to find ways to not get caught and get DPEd by tons of guys.


you think cheating doesnt happen in saudiyah?lol women there just sleep with their taxi drivers.taxi drivers in saudiyah get laid like rockstars with other's wives.

im telling you man,only force and harsh laws restricitng mobility can keep women from their true nature.

[theprimebait]

Sounds like she was actually pretty bad before she got to the US actually... ThePrimebait probably would have more insight on that, but Middle Eastern/N/W African women have their own issues that make them bad matches for Western men. Their culture is pretty f***ing shady. My ex-wife is Nigerian and even though she was extremely Americanized, it was bad Nigerian culture issues that ruined things in the end. They try to take advantages of guys like us because we do not understand the "shit" in their culture. We tend not to yank their f***ing chains either, early on. The primebait mentioned something like with middle eastern women/Persian women this a while ago, and that made me really think.

My ex past African boyfriends treated her rougher than I did. Now long after the fact, I see why they did that. Egyptians are very very similar to other north-west Africans in nature. I have a handful of "friends" from Egypt. 2 of them f***ing stabbed me in the back fairly recently, and we have been really f***ing good friends for over 6 years or something! A buddy from Morroco was even worse. He and the Egyptian buddies are all friends too. They actually did me wrong together in a way (very long story). My ex-wife stabbed me in the back and they loved sometimes chatting with her to make me doing things a certain way. They loved to act like they had some "African Mafia"..

One of those same Egyptian buddies abandoned some of his family members (during Egypt's issues) and said some horrible things about them to me. He is also a fake a** Muslim, partying, smoking, and drinking. Probably snorts lines too in private for all I know. God doesn't like ugly though. His mom got killed in a tragic accident not long after he said that. That is why I was not shocked when he did me dirty.

I now see why Africans get the bad rap for being very disloyal. You could not have paid me to date another woman from any part of Africa. That is why I went Asian instead. If they choose you, you will have a hard time getting rid of them. Rarely ever do you hear about an Asian woman snitching or selling out her husband for anything really. You are more likely to see them take control of money and possessions instead of selling out their man to get them.

I value loyalty more than other things in life, so Asian wife was an automatic no brainer for me, if I could get one, because I knew being black was my only big challenge to that goal back then.

any arab woman that would hookup with a white guy(unless the white guy is a muslim convert and she met him thru her father or some kind of matchmaker)is a whore.

im not kidding.in arab societies,women do not casually hookup with men they don't know.its a no-no to meet your spouse the way westerners do it.

''good girls''in arab countries only meet their husbands thru the local Imam,their father,or whatever choice their male relatives present to them.

if you want a ''good girl''there youd have to really ask her family about her reputation,ANALYZE her family piety,and her past etc etc

Arab men know this,wich is why they get the good apples.Ive known a few white(and black) guys with Middle eastern women and only the ones in where their women were good quality was because their turkish male friends GOT THEM their wives FOR THEM.

they did it the way the en of that society do it.

the other white guys and a few black guys ive seen with turkish women who did it the wrong way,by dating and doing it the western way,got the fat,ugly and also been cummed in a 10 times by different men of her own ethnicity women.

the discard of her race,so to speak.

to Kai:

moroccans,Tunisians,and egyptians in general are scum.they are the white trash version of the arab world.

especially tunisians and moroccans,but their higher classes are oke though.

Moroccans are low class,imbecilic and oppurtunistic lazy bums...this is common knowledge in the arab world..they are the Jews of the arab world,only they have no money

arabs only associatte with them when were going there to f**k their women,wich will do ANYTHING for some cash,like Czechoslovak whores.

seriousely the only arabs worth being around are syrian,lebanese,Yemeni,Omani especially Omani.

I despise jordanians,north africans,saudis and iraqis.

but again the sad part is that a non-arab would not know these things unless he grew up around arabs.

kind of like how only an american would understand to avoid certain neighbourhoods or areas of the country and other social things wich a foreign person wouldn't know.

[theprimebait]

lastly stay the f**k away from arabs.they arent worth it.shit,im trying to get away from them for a reason,hello.

only yemen,oman and syria are quality places in the arab world,these palces youll find the most down to earth,honest,beautifull and affectionatte people with the most humble and virtouis women on the planet.

but if you dont know the small details of the culture or the language etc youll attract scammers and the bums,whores and outcasts of that society.

kind of like Ladislav says ,if you dont speak russian,youll attract the scum of that country whereas if you spoke russian you might meet the decent social circles and then russia is a paradise socially speaking.