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Discussion for marriage-minded members seeking foreign brides for marriage and serious long-term relationships.
I'm curious if anyone has sponsored and/or married a foreign spouse, brought them back to your country, only to have them ditch you asap.
I know some posters here have had success with foreigners brought back, but has anyone had the above happen?
Yes, marriage rates to foreigners have a much lower divorce rate than local ones, but it is still a major concern, and I would never do it, let alone get married.
I wouldn't even bring a girl back on a tourist visa, since even those require way too much paperwork and money. I read the rules for them and said no thanks.
I've also read the rules for bringing a foreign spouse to Canada permanently and they are absolutely outrageous. They used to be worse, and were tightened in 2012, but it's still too risky. Even if they ditch you, the sponsor still has to support them for up to 3 years (It used to be 10!), and repay social assistance if they get it. WTF!
I know most members here including me are HA, and going back home with a foreigner is usually the opposite of what they want.
Still, I'm sure others are curious about it and if you are, here are a couple of links regarding doing it to Canada
If you are Canadian and need a reminder of why not to do it, please read further:
http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/informatio ... rriage.asp
Some horror stories:
http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2010 ... riage.html
If anyone has been ditched by a foreign spouse once back home, and has the courage to tell, I and others I assume are curious.
Hey Will thanks for putting up these very informative news articles....Scary!!!
I think Canada is way too easygoing when it comes to immigration.And,to make matters worse,there is no recourse for the poor victim of marriage fraud.So the next time my buddies freak out when I tell them that I will re-locate overseas to be with a good girl I'll send them your link
My point of view is very cynical but I'm convinced that bringing a girl over to the West is a recipe for disaster...sooner or later.Even if the marriage is genuine,and she really is in love with you,the Western lifestyle of consumerism and excessive work along with hundreds of dudes hitting on her at any given chance will destroy the marriage eventually(especially if she is young and exotic looking).
Agree. Canada treats immigrants better than it's own citizens in some cases. The marriage fraud victim is told too bad so sad, and to make matters worse, they have to support the POS that screwed them over. Simply outrageous and an absolute disgrace. The guilty party should be deported and banned, instead of being allowed to stay and have the person they screwed over pay for them. They are being rewarded for atrocious behaviour. Welcome to Canada! You can ditch the person that brought you here and they still have to pay for you, while you stay! The changes they made in 2012 might make it harder, but people will still pull the same old tricks, it will just take them longer. I'm sure they will have to tighten them again in a few years when they realize the recent changes weren't strict enough. It takes Canada way to long react to scams.
My point of view is the same cynical one as yours. If you sponsor some hot foreign chica and bring her back, the feminist, consumerist and debt friendly Canada will be a poison to the brain of any girl. Even if the relationship is successful at first, their is nothing preventing it from crashing and burning at any time, be it 1 year, 5 or 20. It is simply not worth the risk. If you are stuck in Canada for a while, do what I did and meet the ESL girls as a temporary solution. Being HA is the only long term solution.
There are always men just waiting in the wings to be the next sucker. Any man who brings a foreign wife to a Western country is in peril. Things will be fine up until they aren't. All it takes is one phone call to get kicked out of your own home and made to fund your abuser. That's no exaggeration. You could do things to mitigate the risk, but living in the West you can never eliminate it.
You have to be aware of which country your going to go to regarding divorce laws. I know that in South Korea the divorce law there is almost similar to that of USA. So even if a western guys decides to move overseas and marry a girl overseas there can be problems too. So you have to do your research and also make sure you pick the right partner.
That's why if you move abroad and get married, you better stay in that country.
Worst scenario really. These guys do all the donkey work and pay through the nose to bring their idea of an ideal woman home only to be double-crossed when she runs off with some slug from across the street. I've heard it happen a few times and I've even heard of guys having this done to them TWICE. Some never learn.
I was fortunate with my ex. I safeguarded myself by putting her to the test before I even thought of bringing her back. I told her I was losing my job which was a lie. A few weeks down the line and she ceased contact with me and I haven't heard from her since. I'm not saying she would have definitely left me but we would have been married on false pretences.
Fortunately not all foreign women are like this but one really needs to get know the girl before bringing her home - and her family!
This can be a big issue for both men and women. The worst case is the spouse bringing abuse allocations against you that stick whether or nt they are true. This is why I am perplexed by guys suggesting getting a wife from a poor country.
You need to be aware.
There are many women in anyones country that could be a good wife. There is no need to import.
I've been coding C++ for the last 12 hours, and this is the first word my eyes drifted to in the post
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
All women from poor countries concoct stories about abuse do they?
Give any woman from anywhere incentives to concoct false stories of abuse, they are much likelier to do so.
While there may be twisted, vindictive females in all four corners of the globe, not every woman is like this fortunately. If they were, we men may as well all give up.
Where did I say "all"? It's the worst case scenario. I said it poorly though, I admit that. My point is I have seen people post on this site and others as if a woman from a poor country will automatically be grateful for a chance to 'live a better life'.
I don't want to discourage anyone, and it is a rare scenario, but it is something men bringing women over as wives need to know about. It's important to be aware of potential warning signs and protect yourself. I would not say most foreign women are like that but no one wants to become that 1% horror story.
I know, I know - it's a terrible idea, although some of us have done it. I even understand why some think it's a terrible idea. Unfortunately most people cannot just drop their life and live in another country, although I am intending to do just that pretty soon.
But since the original question from Will N (certainly a guy who has proved he is interested in marriage above all else) was about being dumped by a foreign spouse, I guess I can weigh in with my limited experience.
In our group of Fil-Am acquaintances (easily 100 couples) I know of 1 guy who divorced and ended up marrying another Filipina 3 years ago. I also know of one couple (married over 10 years) who have had what I would think of as marital issues, although they are still living together and working on it and seem to be making it. The rest are all good and most of the guys are ridiculously happy with their Pinays, particularly in comparison to Western wives they previously had. There's one other couple I know (6 years together) that if I had to venture a guess would think they will not last. But they are not married and he, while a nice enough guy, has some issues; she's a sweet person.
Of course divorce happens and I am sure if we go forward 10 or 20 years some couples will not make it. When there are parties and get togethers and the guys get to share the realities of their marriages - well it's usually a love fest, though of course we all laugh at some of the things our wives do.
Bottom line is that I have yet to see the massive number of scams and dumps that many of us worry about. I know that it happens but I also know that for me it's been a good gamble.
Check out my blog @ http://www.marriedafilipina.com
Be very careful of marriage sham. In the marriage sham scenario one participant pays the other (usually $10k - $25k) to marry for the purposes of immigration.
However Russians are so evil or don't have this sum of money so they make the guy think she's in love with him, gives him sex, etc. and once she's in his country dumps him.
People who get married under normal circumstances usually like to take the time to court each other and get to know each other (usually 1-2 years) before jumping into marriage. However, guys who go to Russia usually don't have that luxury so they jump quick into marriage. Then the sponsorship / immigration process only to have the girl dump him shortly after she arrives or a few years after.