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Discussion for marriage-minded members seeking foreign brides for marriage and serious long-term relationships.
I'm getting rather fed up with dating sites and American women in general. I'll be 35 in December, and I'd hardly ever dated (1 friend with benefits for 3 months). I've always been quiet and shy. I look on dating sites, and all I see is women who are working multiple jobs, school, already have 3-4 kids, etc. There aren't any mid-30s women anxious to settle down and start a family anymore. Everyone's so career obsessed it's sickening. I mean, my one friend was 200 pounds, but she was gorgeous. I don't see how I'm THAT picky. I just want a decent woman who isn't scheduled to death 7 days a week. I've spent most of my life alone, I want a lady who has lots of time for me. I'm decent looking, but I'm on disability, and I hate people. lol
I've never done much international traveling, only a couple cruises. I don't necessarily like the idea of hanging out alone in foreign countries, but I'm getting desperate. Expensive mail order bride sites are out of the question, and dating sites in general suck. I was kicking around the idea of booking a week in some Mexican resort or something, but I don't know what country would be good. Japan seems interesting, since I read it's one of the least religious countries in the world. I'm not looking for someone who will want to drag me to church or talk about her deity of choice constantly. I can handle belief, but not a real church goer. I don't speak any other languages though, so I'd be looking for someone who speaks at least some English. Is it even worth trying?
I'll share my dating profile for your entertainment: https://www.okcupid.com/profile/QuietGuy316
First, has this gotten you any dates? If it has ignore what I'm going to say. It comes across as too much of a victim and too whiny. Girls don't come to guys to be loved. There are zillions of guys out there ready to take care of them. If you are on disablity and don't have to work, buy a plane ticket out of the country and start a new life. Good luck. If you do this, you'll thank me in a year.
It got me that friend with benefits I mentioned. She was a nurse who only worked 3-4 days a week.
can't afford to live abroad. Just travel a bit now and then.
I glanced over the profile. You're sincere, so I'll be sincere. You are not attractive, in so many ways, and it will be a miracle to get an American woman. Your profile could be improved, but it won't help much.
If you are happy on your farm, your best bet is to visit a foreign country occasionally for P4P sex (learn Spanish for Cuba, DR, which are the closest destinations), and get some pets for love. Do NOT marry a foreign woman and bring her back to the USA. She will divorce rape you.
If you don't care that much about living on the farm, move to the Philippines.
I only quickly glanced at your profile. You seem like a really cool guy, but if I had to suggest something, it'd be to (1) make your profile A LOT shorter (you don't need to talk about the bacon at Denny's and IHOP) and (2) remove the opinionated and more importantly, the self-deprecating stuff.
Depends on the lifestyle your looking for. Are you looking just for P4P? In that case I agree with retiredfrank, take 3-4 day trips to places like the DR, Costa Rica, Mexico etc., have a blast, and come back up. If you're looking for a country with lots of women that are "wife-material", IMO Peru can't be beat, although the Philippines, Colombia, Mexico, Eastern Europe, etc. are all decent options. I also agree with retiredfrank that you should not bring a foreign wife back to the US.
My advice: Start learning a new language (I'd recommend Spanish), and start talking to women from those countries online using the excuse that you are "practicing your Spanish conversational skills". I've met lots of great women this way who became friends (and more), as have a few other guys I know. The best thing is it's a super relaxed situation. Worst case scenario - it's Spanish conversation practice. At some point you'll come across a few girls you really click with. You will start gaining confidence, and life will only get better.
Good luck man
Well, my thinking was to throw it all out there and see who can handle it. I don't want to waste my time sweet talking women only for them to run screaming when they hear that stuff or read my blog later. It's only ever gotten me one date (and 2.5 months of friends with benefits), but I'm not much good at breaking the ice and don't send out that many messages.
As my profile spelled out, I want a wife, not just some whore. I have no intention of living abroad though. Not that I'm impressed with the idiots running this country. I just don't see anywhere else being anymore free. Also, I'm tempted to rule out anything in the tropics/south america until this Zika shit dies down. I think all the people who went to Rio for this Olympic nonsense are fools.
I also have issues with learning new languages. I'm a programmer. Those are the only kind of languages I learn. I probably know all of 5 or 10 words in spanish, and I might be able to count to 8. If I met someone who knew enough english to get things going, I'd probably pickup a few words of whatever language they speak, but I don't see myself learning enough to go pickup women in another language.
I've been wanting to take a cruise to Alaska at some point. I've been tempted to just go alone. Who knows. Maybe one of those cute foreign ladies on the ship's crew is really tired of rowing with the rest of the slaves and wants to get the hell off the ship and live in America. They don't have green cards, and they speak english. The cruise lines have rules, but I'm not looking for someone who follows arbitrary rules without question. lol
Before going down this route it's best getting as much info & advice as you can and learn of the pitfalls. Guys that have a blase attitude towards meeting foreign women for marriage tend to end up being screwed financially and emotionally. It can be a minefield but it can be a minefield worth crossing and for someone who is sincere and honest as you are, it's a better option IMO than looking for a woman in your own country as they see nice honest guys as some kind of aliens.
America should be a good place for you. Huge numbers of people are moving to the massively indebted "rich" countries and a great many more will be coming. The thieves who had a big party and destroyed the West now have to open the borders and let people flood in in order to keep from being killed by the people they poisoned, raped and robbed.
Immigrants are already swarming into Japan, Europe, the UK, USA and Canada. Broke Australia is trying to keep them out but that country of thieves and murderers will soon be swamped too. Oh sure the new immigrants will be mostly men and those men will take women just like the false jews and their apes took women but so many will be coming you will surely be able to find a girl.
Remember there is no more love. Care for no one. Create nothing without being paid a large sum of money. Destroy what you or your male ancestors created. Only do the bare minimum that the law requires you to do.
Start by fixing your game before trying to meet-up with foreign girls. They will see you the same way many women at home do, albeit they are easier with lower standards. This is the single hardest thing to do is to work on yourself and admit you are part of the problem. Once you've gone through that difficult process of honesty you are ready to kill the foreign ladies. Understand the vast majority of foreign women want a well employed man for financial security for her and possibly her family. They want a sincere man with good intentions and respectful of them and their culture. They want a giving, generous man. There is an agenda behind all those cute innocent smiles...
You might be best suited for a Philippines lady. I would focus on a country girls living on the edge of poverty as they will be less demanding of status.
I was considering Mexico for finding a bride as Mexican women tend to be more monogamous than in The Philippines. But unfortunately, a lot of the higher quality ones are beginning to spend their prime years in school and becoming corporate drones, especially in the big cities. They're simply too busy to meet me. And now I've been on a dry spell for at least a month with no dates. The more time I spend in Mexico, the more I realize how Americanized it is becoming. And I think the North American Union will materialize if Hillary is elected. I better get my @$$ to Central America or Colombia soon (less workaholic cultures the further away from the US you get).
Or there are small towns and villages where the women will be more traditional and not liberated to become "strong and independent". Afterall, Falcon dated a girl from a rural village anyways.
Welcome to HA forum. I'd enjoy giving you advice so feel free to hit me up on a PM any time you wish. Love to help. I'm one of the few guys on here who actually found and married a foreign lady. Found her in Philippines and we are about to celebrate our 10 Year Anniversary next month. So far the journey has been nothing short of fantastic.
I also read your profile and I'll agree with the other guys. You are giving WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION and right off the bat, you use the word "crazy." If I'm a woman, that alone gets my attention but not in a good way. Try reworking the wording and keep your profile to 3 or 4 descriptive paragraphs about yourself. But you want to focus on being positive and fun. You may be frustrated and desperate but don't convey that to your audience. These things are nothing but advertising and designed to get your foot in the door with a young lady. So make it short and catchy.
So whether you are writing your profile or chatting with a lady for the few times, think of your conversation as an onion. You want to keep her interested and intrigued by letting her see one layer at a time. Women love a little mystery. Keep her wanting more. Allow her to see little bits and pieces of you over a one month period. Make sense?
Now onto specifics. Spend the $30 or $40 for a few months of international dating sites. I found my wife at Cherry Blossoms.com. Do note that once you submit your profile, you'll get 30+ responses. It's very intoxicating. Nothing wrong with going into the chat room and talking with ladies. If nothing else, it's a rush to your ego and you'll get some good experience finding what works and what doesn't work.
Since all these cute foreign women want to chat with you, it's human nature to sit back and be passive and let them come to you. Problem is that the ones that are approaching you are also approaching anybody with a pulse. They are normally very desperate to meet a guy usually for the wrong reasons.
So here's my advice to you. "Learn to be the hunter and not the hunted."
What do I mean by that? At least with Cherry Blossoms, they have an advanced search feature that you can use to make specific edits. Trust me, I messed around for 6 months on CB before ever thinking of using this strategy. Then one day, I decided to search for girls that:
1. Age 21-30
3. Never married
4. No kids
5. Non smoker
6. Has college degree.
Sure, your list will be a lot shorter especially if you are targeting girls with a college degree. But after doing a lot of trial and error, I figured that if I'm going thru all the work of bringing over a foreign lady to be my wife, I want the best that a certain country has to offer. I wanted to meet that nurse, teacher or accountant. Afterall, this is going to be your wife! Why not find a girl with a higher pedigree than the average? Plus I found that girls with the degree tended to be more mature, less scamming, more responsible and smart.
What I did was run my audit and I compiled a TOP 25 list and I approached them (remember be the hunter and not the hunted). My emails were very simple. "Hi I was looking at your profile and I really liked what I say. Would love the chance to talk to you more online." That's it. I sent 10 out at a time. Luckily for me, I did get ahold of the girl that was ranked #1 on my list and the rest is history.
We chatted for 6 months before I went to Phils to meet her. This is also important. TAKE YOUR TIME and get to know her before 1) traveling to see her or 2) marrying her.
I know plenty more advice and again, PM if you wish. But this would be a good framework.
Lastly, congrats on thinking outside of the box. Just the fact that you are willing to find a bride overseas should be exciting for you.
The "crazy" line is a reference to Deadpool. 6 months? I'm not that patient. I was laughing my ass off last night when I opened a Snickers bar with "Impatient" printed on the wrapper. The only woman I've met from a dating site took all of a day to setup something. I spent 6 hours on the phone with her, went to sleep at 6am, and met her for dinner the following evening. I never got the whole taking it slow thing. There's either something worth pursuing or there isn't.
If you're looking for a woman abroad, patience is a must - as in, do not rush to bring her back to your country if that's your intention.
Absolutely! The words "instant gratification and looking for a wife" should never be used in the same sentence. Hasty relationships often lead to hasty divorces.
I let this extreme nastiness pass the first time I read it, and I'm not sure why. Let's see your picture and profile, Frank. How will you advertise yourself to the ladies? The same way you do here -- bragging about whacking off four hours at a time, and being a street-smart cynic who understands he should pay for sex? I'll bet that will drive them wild with desire.
OP, if you're still around, pay no attention. This guy can be very, very gratuitously ugly. We all face challenges in the current dating environment, you not particularly more so than anybody else.