Being Fair in Dating Relationship

[MrMan]

I've lived in the US and in Asia. In the Asian cultures I've lived in, the objective of dating is marriage. That used to be the case in the US in the old days, for courting at least. But now, many Americans date for the enjoyment of dating. That's why boys and girls 'go with' each other in middle school, or whatever they call it nowadays. If dating were for just to find a partner for marriage, why would parents and schools not discourage this courtship behavior among small children? It's not realistic that most of these pairs will marry.

If a western man goes over to an Asian country and starts dating a girl for personal enjoyment (which may mean sleeping with the girl), and she's dating to find a marriage partner, it's not fair to her. He may date her to enjoy her company and try to get some other 'fringe benefits' while she thinks they are figuring out if they want to get married. If they fornicate, she may take that as a commitment, as if they have decided to get married. Then if he breaks up with her because he wasn't serious, he really took something from her. If he took her virginity, he really cheated her. Even if they didn't sleep together at all, he still took up whatever time he did that she could have been using having a relationship that led to marriage and wasted it. He wasn't even serious about finding a wife, and he took up her husband-finding time that she has before she hits 29 or 30 or whatever and people start looking down on her. If they think she slept with him, that makes her less valuable as a potential bride.

Just to be fair, you shouldn't date a woman from a traditional Asian culture or any traditional culture, especially a 'nice girl' unless you are serious about finding someone to marry. Even in the western world, dating should not be about being entertained by the relationship. It should be about a man finding a woman suitable for marriage.

[yick]

I completely agree.

However, it's wasted on most of this crew.

[Lorenzo]

I would challenge some of your thinking. Firstly, any man would likely settle down with an awesome lady who flips the right switches. The degree of tolerance varies among men, some can tolerate a lot of compromise while others can't.

There are many Asian women who greet the foreign man with legs wide open. Are they sluts? No, most are actually decent girls with good education and professional jobs. However they make bad decisions, so if she sleeps with the guy and then he walks a week later its on her. When I was online dating I had a virtual international harem lined up. All I had to do was show up and and it would have been a shag fest. These same girls would tell me they were in love with me after 8-14 days on online chatting.

What most guys need to know is that Asian women are seriously marriage minded - and they cling and attach quickly and don't easily let go.

[MrMan]

What one man perceives as annoying or as low quality, another man might appreciate. Shagfesting the girls who don't quite measure up and dumping them damages them for the man who ends up with them. Multiple sex partners before marriage has a relationship with the divorce rate in the US.

[Cornfed]

I discussed such matters in an old thread called "HA Code of Conduct" or some such. Refer to that if you can find it.

[Lorenzo]

What one man perceives as annoying or as low quality, another man might appreciate. Shagfesting the girls who don't quite measure up and dumping them damages them for the man who ends up with them. Multiple sex partners before marriage has a relationship with the divorce rate in the US.

In a perfect world we wish they all could be virgins. Can't say any of the Asian ladies I dated were virgins, so they should be wise enough not to give their body so easily or if they do the fun is mutual.

You can't fully measure a girl unless you have been with her. My ex was a terrible lover and became disinterested early in our marriage. I suffered for about 21 years, so I see your comment as too self-righteous. As for your religious views, remember in the bible men had multiple wives and when they got a dud they just added a concubine or another wife. We don't get to do that!

[Jonny Law]

What one man perceives as annoying or as low quality, another man might appreciate. Shagfesting the girls who don't quite measure up and dumping them damages them for the man who ends up with them. Multiple sex partners before marriage has a relationship with the divorce rate in the US.

You say: "Shagfesting the girls who don't quite measure up and dumping them damages them for the man who ends up with them."
NEWSFLASH!
THOSE WOMEN DO NOT DESERVE TO GET MARRIED.

CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE TO THE RESUE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txEjSj_yUXA

[Kradmelder]

What one man perceives as annoying or as low quality, another man might appreciate. Shagfesting the girls who don't quite measure up and dumping them damages them for the man who ends up with them. Multiple sex partners before marriage has a relationship with the divorce rate in the US.

Any decent girl knows not to put out until she is sure of the guy's intentions. The ones who do put out are not marriage minded, not decent, and want a mutual temporary good time. They are not being ruined as they were already like that. Any girl that gave her virginity and got dumped and didn't learn that lesson, but rather went on a shagfest ruined herself. If she wants a good dcent man there is also an onus on her to show she has more to offer than 2 lumps and a hole. She should know that she must market herself, as that is unique. Sex every woman can give so is not a selling point.

[Kradmelder]

What one man perceives as annoying or as low quality, another man might appreciate. Shagfesting the girls who don't quite measure up and dumping them damages them for the man who ends up with them. Multiple sex partners before marriage has a relationship with the divorce rate in the US.

In a perfect world we wish they all could be virgins. Can't say any of the Asian ladies I dated were virgins, so they should be wise enough not to give their body so easily or if they do the fun is mutual.

You can't fully measure a girl unless you have been with her. My ex was a terrible lover and became disinterested early in our marriage. I suffered for about 21 years, so I see your comment as too self-righteous. As for your religious views, remember in the bible men had multiple wives and when they got a dud they just added a concubine or another wife. We don't get to do that!

Now you have done it. You have opened the can of worms for the God botherers to start throwing scripture at you to show they are more righteous than you. That is how they get their jollies.

[Cornfed]

You can't fully measure a girl unless you have been with her.

It is a bit like saying you can't fully judge how a car will survive being crashed into a tree without crashing it into a tree. True to some extent, but then who would want to buy a car that has been crashed into a tree?

[Cornfed]

I discussed such matters in an old thread called "HA Code of Conduct" or some such. Refer to that if you can find it.

Here is the old thread about morally proper foreign dating behavior:
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=18273

[MrMan]

Those standards are way too low.

And besides all that, it's wrong to waste a girl's dating time when she's looking for a husband and you aren't looking for a wife, especially if she becomes suddenly nearly unmarketable at or near 30 as happens in some countries.

[Kradmelder]

Those standards are way too low.

And besides all that, it's wrong to waste a girl's dating time when she's looking for a husband and you aren't looking for a wife, especially if she becomes suddenly nearly unmarketable at or near 30 as happens in some countries.

All the more reason she should not sleep around and learn to read a man's intentions if her shelf life is 30. That is why decent girls never used to put out easy, and were married early.

If she sleeps around she is not in the market for a husband.

If i dont want a serious decent woman I won't waste time with one that gives no sex. When I just wanted sex I never wasted my time on women that were not going to give it.

When I met a decent one the no quick sex was obvious. Then you are forced weigh up is the person worth a prolonged siege and serious blue balls for a relationship. If yes you will wait. If no, sex is available elsewhere. Decent women know that and will treat you in a way that you will put sex on hold.

If they have nothing else to offer they will spread in the hope of trapping you. This sort of entrapment deserves you walking away. Any wife material should bring much more to the table than sex.

[Cornfed]

When I met a decent one the no quick sex was obvious. Then you are forced weigh up is the person worth a prolonged siege and serious blue balls for a relationship. If yes you will wait. If no, sex is available elsewhere. Decent women know that and will treat you in a way that you will put sex on hold.

If they have nothing else to offer they will spread in the hope of trapping you. This sort of entrapment deserves you walking away. Any wife material should bring much more to the table than sex.

So all some slut has to do to convince you that she is not a slut is to not have sex with your for a while? Lol, the sluts talk about this issue among themselves all the time. They say if you want to get some sucker to marry you then you need to not have sex with them until after several dates. Six dates was the agreed upon optimal number among the sluts I overheard discussing this. Of course they were still whoring it up with dirtbags on the side, just like the hag who will claim much of your money no doubt is.

[Kradmelder]

When I met a decent one the no quick sex was obvious. Then you are forced weigh up is the person worth a prolonged siege and serious blue balls for a relationship. If yes you will wait. If no, sex is available elsewhere. Decent women know that and will treat you in a way that you will put sex on hold.

If they have nothing else to offer they will spread in the hope of trapping you. This sort of entrapment deserves you walking away. Any wife material should bring much more to the table than sex.

So all some slut has to do to convince you that she is not a slut is to not have sex with your for a while? Lol, the sluts talk about this issue among themselves all the time. They say if you want to get some sucker to marry you then you need to not have sex with them until after several dates. Six dates was the agreed upon optimal number among the sluts I overheard discussing this. Of course they were still whoring it up with dirtbags on the side, just like the hag who will claim much of your money no doubt is.

Where did you not read the part of selling their other qualities first? The women I mix with have such things. The women that will sink to even talking to you obviously won't.

The only one they won't sleep with is you. You can hardly blame women for that. And the thought of withholding sex from you as a husband prospect is utterly laughable.

Maybe you better spend your time reading things like this than looking for things to blame for your situation'
https://illimitablemen.com/2016/02/28/c ... come-epic/